72, The American

Sometimes it's nice to catch a real gem. A movie that sneaks into the cinema under the radar allowing the cover and hype of a recent blockbuster to shield its popularity. A tiny treat that captivates the small audience that braved the frost to watch something other than Harry Potter and revel in wonderment at a cinematic masterpiece that really should be given more praise than it has...............

Sadly, The American is not this film. in fact, it could not be further from it!!!

I could not have been more disappointed. Photographer turned Movie Director Anton Corbijn takes a break from Metallica, Depeche Mode & U2 Documentaries and teams up with Clooney (who produces) to make a movie about an American Assassin.

An A-List name and beautiful location, this film should have had future classic written all over it. There is no denying that Clooney is smoother than Sinatra in Chiffon and Oceans 11 & 13 are two of my favourite movies (Oceans 12 took a beating in my opinion) but this film would have looked more in place with subtitles.

It had "foreign film" written all over it and the atmospheric moments of silence between screen shots were too lengthy and drawn out. Add to this that nothing really happened. AT ALL!!

American Assassin moves to Italy to lie low. Is hired to make a gun for another assassin that turns out to be for his own execution. That's it. Plot over. Add in some hot naked Italian Prostitute and a righteous catholic priest and other than a few cafe owners that's the cast covered!!!

It was slow and laborious. It did not pick up pace at any time apart from a few sexy scenes where our Italian hooker / girlfriend goes full nude but other than that. Nothing to write home about.

But there are always two sides to every opinion and if foreign cinema is your thing then this might go down quite well. Very arty & atmospheric, the silences draw attention to the cinematography which given the Directors background is understandable. The script is well written, Clooney is his normally sultry self, albeit looking a little rough around the edges and there is no denying that the girls are hot.

So if this is your cup of tea then accept my apologies and please, knock yourself out.

But if you prefer your "Clooney" when he is mixed in with a bit of Pitt & Damon, steer clear.

You have been warned!

See this if...........................You love being underwhelmed!!!

71, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1

Film Number 7 and to be fair - if you have not heard of Harry Potter until now then you don't deserve an explanation.

No one can deny, that love it or hate it, J.K Rowling has captivated an entire generation and its relatives.

From a small child we have watched Radcliffe develop just like his character and who cares if after these 8 movies we never see or hear from them again - stereotypically typecast as Hogwarts students, forever in our memories - they have made enough money from the franchise to remain comfortable for ever - it just would not be right seeing Ron Wesley pop up in M.I5 or Hermione in a college chick flick.

So, Deathly Hallows Part 1. The only film so far that plans to leave nothing out from the books - hence part 1 is nearly 2hrs 30minutes long. And it delivers on everything.

From memory, and I had to check with my own son on this one - we believe nothing has been missed. Previously I have stated I am far from a "book person", but these are the only ones that, as an adult I have actually read cover to cover and enjoyed. I never thought I would hear myself say this...But, the books were better on the previous 6 outings. However, this one captures every angle, story plot & character portrayed in the book. Well done Mr Director.

There is no Hogwarts in this, its all about the Horcruxes and the search to bring down Voldemort.

The time flys by so fast I could not believe it was over so quickly!!! 2hrs 20minutes felt like a brief 90 minute interlude and my M&M's were emptied before I knew it.

I was captivated from start to finish - this is predominantly all set on the run from the overwhelmed Ministry, now infiltrated by the Dark Lord and seeking Potter & Chums to wipe them out - lots of time hiding in tents in the woods and lots of dialogue.

It finished abruptly, slap bang in the middle of the book with 3 Horcruxes left to find and Voldemort discovering the Elder Wand, one of the 3 Deathly Hallows.

Part II is set up so well and I cant wait until next year - its been 9 years since the first movie landed and will only another 6 months until its all done.

7 Books, 10 years worth of movies, 1 Billion in the bank and her own Florida Theme Park. Ms Rowling did what dreams are made of - create a storybook that controlled a decade.

Well done You.

See this if..........................finales make you slightly excited!!!

70, Jackass 3D

I love Jackass - I loved the TV show and the first 2 movies. I don't know why, maybe its the sick toilet humour of it all that just appeals to my darker side or maybe its just the love of laughing at other miss-fortune but either way in my eyes I was expecting alot!!

And I was not disappointed.

I have to honestly admit that I have not laughed out loud with such side splitting vengeance at any film in my entire life EVER!!! It is categorically hilarious - too many stunts to mention from Duck Shoot to Bull Ring Rollerskating & Tazer Alley to Rocky I,II & III. But I have to warn you - 90% of humour is matched with 10% of completely gross stomach churning sickness!!! But even that's funny.

I dare the strongest of you not to experience a gag reflex at stunts like Poo Cocktail Supreme & Sweatsuit Cocktail - and who can forget the Poo volcano!!! Awesome in slow motion and as you can guess - the words "Poo" and "Cocktail" never go well together and when these ones come on just keep in mind who is behind you and hope to god the are not fresh from Mac D's!!!

Do not expect plot or storyline here. Your favourites are back with Knoxville, Steve-O, Chris Pontius, Wee-Man, Preston Lacey, Dave England and the rest of the gang going deeper into the realms of pain and self sacrifice for the joys of the paying public.

My favourite - too many to mention but the one that stands out is Lamborghini tooth Pull - the title says it all - and the Slow Motion is one of the most amazing pieces of film I have ever seen.

Maybe too much gushing on this one - but its worth it. It my level of humour, dealt brilliantly.

Many have copied like Dirty Sanchez and The Dudesons - none equalled - Knoxville Rules...........Jackass forever!!!

See this if.....................you ever laughed at someone falling over - ALOT!!!

69, Skyline

Firstly, I would like to thank all my readers who have supported this blog as it just passes its 1st birthday!!! What started out as a simple facebook link has spread to 9 countries with as many U.S readers as U.K and whats great is its reached China, Korea and Russia along with a host of European destinations. 69 Movies seen in 52 weeks. Some good, some awful but all honestly reviewed and for those that commented and gave feedback, you are welcome. Thank you and long may it continue.

So...............Year 2 begins and I kick off with Skyline.

A massive budget Alien invasion movie which reads like an Independence Day for the new generation. but its lacks an A List cast? no Will Smith in this epic so who is starring in this much hyped movie of epic proportions. Well, for me the only recognisable face was DiNozzo's girlfriend from NCIS and Murry from 90's classic, Clueless.

I know right? nothing special here so maybe the plot would be better. if I said this is a mixture of "Alien" meets "Starship Troopers" meets "War of the Worlds" meets "Independence Day" meets "District 9". Sadly, each of these films is better that this one and I would watch Starship Troopers over an over rather than sit through this one again.

It was just slow, dull and dreary. The alien special effects are good but due to their shear size and power its obvious from early on that Earth dopes not stand a chance. To give it a little credit though the action does start from about the 3rd second of the movie with the Aliens landing, then it back tracks by about 15 hours so we get introduced to the characters. After that it is broken into Days 1,2 & 3. Days 1 & 2 are game on for battles and to be fair this is when it picks up pace a little bit but as for day 3, well not wanting to spoil it for all of you but remember the movie "Knowing", well......... same ending. Sorry.

With the cost of movie tickets now, for 2 people this is £16 badly spent. Take the money and buy the "Back to The Future Trilogy" on Blu-Ray. Much more fun.

so, its a bit disappointing but look on the bright side, on Wednesday I am off to see Jackass 3D and then come next weekend it's Harry Potter time once again so hopefully, 2 awesome blogs coming soon.

Sorry the 1st blog of Year 2 was a bit crap. But they will continue and once again, thank you to everyone for your support.

See this if........................you are blind, deaf and want 2hrs of peace!!!