68, RED

On the surface this movie has it all - Guns, Explosions, CIA Operatives, Helen Mirren packing heat!! The first trailers looked fantastic but yesterday I read an article by the Daily Mirrors movie critic slating it with 2 stars and a dull and dreary review. So, as always do you believe the write, or the hype!!

HYPE!!

It was an awesome movie - Bruce Willis plays the straight talking retired CIA operative who is targeted by a hit squad due to previous black ops missions. The reason he is being hunted and by who is a mystery to start but he soon seeks out some of his old running mates in the form of retirement home veteran Morgan Freeman, slightly paranoid John Malkovich, Gorgeous sniper Helen Mirren & Russian "fix-it" man Brian Cox.

Once all together, along with Bruce Willis' squeeze he picked up in a Kansas call centre (too much to explain how that came about) they set about on a mission to find out who is trying to kill them off and why. What follows is a roller coaster of CIA Vs. RED (Retired, Extremely Dangerous) and you are not sure who is pulling the strings, who is the good guys and if the CIA is working on the right side of the law. Old Good Guys need an Old enemy and Richard Dreyfus steps up and is on fine form.

Its an odd movie though, the plot seems quite padded out between action scenes and for once, Malkovich plays the funny guy! Morgan Freemans appearance is short lived in relation to the rest of the team and Helen Mirren plays sultry sniper better than anyone you could imagine.

That said, even though some bits seem drawn out it is more than covered off with witty one-liners and an A-list that would make any Director proud. It takes a while to get going and until Malkovich turns up its a bit slow but bare with it. RED is a great movie matching a good story with some screen legends and even though Bruce Willis looks like a little Young for the line up, take heed that Malkovich is funny, Freeman is adorable, Cox is smooth & even at 65, Helen Mirren is still hot!

Keep your eyes open for a great cameo from an "Airwolf" legend of 80's TV. Ernest Borgnine as Henry the Records Keeper.

I am going to keep the end of this one under wraps, not giveaways - that would just spoil it.

See this if...........................you disagree with growing old gracefully!!

67, Despicable Me

3D Animation time again!! only this time we missed the 3d show so it was good old fashioned 2d. Question is, were we disappointed?

Of course not!!! Steve Carell in with a funny accent, 3 of the most adorable orphans you could ever meet, a league of hilarious minions & Russell Brand as a disabled old mad professor - whats not funny about that lot!!!

Even without the 3D this is a great family film. I totally left my dignity at the door and "guffawed" with the rest of the crowd as time after time Carell delivered comedic genius worthy of a nod from any self obsessed comedy fan.

The plot is brilliant - the 1st in a string (2 at least) of movies that focus on the villain as the main lead, identifying a softer side of evil and the "hero" being a bit of a tit. But it works. The 3 Orphans are totally lovable and had they been real I think we would have adopted all of them ourselves. Gru is a typical villain and fab with his slightly random plans of global domination but the real heroes are the minions.

Hundreds of tiny yellow walking, talking tic-tacs, each with a combination of 1 or 2 eyes, funky dungarees and thick cut goggles. 3 Actors in total voice all of them and the most notable is Jermaine Clement who recently appeared as Kieran (The Artist) from dinner for Schmucks. Their high pitched voices really make you laugh and its their complete adoration and trust for their master that makes them one of the most lovable set "followers" I have seen in a while - dare I say it.......more appealing than Oompa-Loompas?

There is no real Good Guy vs. Bad guy, more Bad Guy vs. Badder guy as Gru sets about trying to outwit his arch nemesis Vector, son of the evil bank manager who approved loans to fund world domination (only in a comedy!!).

The weapons are awesome, ranging from planet dwarfing shrink rays to freezing customers in the Starbucks queue. He whoops a theme park stand for a cuddly toy and is annoyed that someone beat him to stealing the great pyramid.

Believable???...............come on, its a cartoon!! But one of the funniest in a while.

Carell rocks in this and as a build up to "Megamind" starring comedy legends Ferrell & Pitt (?) - Yes, Brad Pitt.......this is a cracking warm up.

See this if...................You always wanted to know how to win the BIG toys at Thorpe Park!!!

66, Wall Street. Money Never Sleeps

23 Year ago (I know...23!!!) We were introduced to Gordon Gekko. A nasty, greedy Wall Street investor who buys as many people as he did businesses with his obsessive lust for power.

Eventually, after a bit of Daryl Hannah and a small airline company called Blue Star get involved, Gekko gets taken down by Bud Fox (Charlie Sheen) and banged up for insider trading.

Roll onto 2010 (ish). Wall Street 2!!!

So, Gekko gets released and the characters are true to the original story however this time the ex-wife is gone, Rudy (son) has died of a drug overdose and daughter (Winnie) is shacked up with broker Jake Moore (LaBeouf) and has no care for the release of her father.

Lets make it clear from the start. There is no sex, no violence, no guns, explosions or fights. This is an out and out drama based on greed and manipulation. Oliver Stone directs what in my mind is a scripted masterpiece and if you have no care or interest in the plot, don't bother seeing this film.

But has Gekko changed? - 7 years after his release and now a successful author and public seminar speaker, Gekko is contacted by Jake in a bid to get him talking to his daughter but secretly, he goes behind her back, trying to gain favour and advise from Mr Backhander himself. Even I could have told him that Gekko could not be trusted but would he listen? - of course not!!!

Its over 2hrs long but I loved it. Keep your eyes open for a brief appearance from Mr Oliver Stone himself and also a well deserved cameo from Charlie Sheen as the now "loaded" Bud Fox. Its short lived but again, I felt it had to be there, just to keep in line with the first one.

If you have seen the 87' movie then this does roll on very smoothly, keeping the origins alive with the characters and plots. If you have not, then it should not take too long to catch up. I am not going to give anything away, only that everything that you would expect to happen, happens and then some!!

In what could quite easily be Douglas's last movie (barring "Haywire", which is already in pre-production for 2011) I think this is excellent. He acts it with the smooth charm and integrity of the shrewdest of businessmen, lumped in with a taste of revenge for those that put him away and the same greedy edge that made him a formidable opponent as the original Gekko.

If Wall Street was your cup of tea then this just adds sugar!!

See this if..................You love sequels!!! Especially great ones.

65, Life As We Know It

Was not quite sure how to approach this one - I have been moaned at by anonymous Americans on this blog in the past for putting down Miss Heigl in previous posts, labelling her as a poor mans "Cameron Diaz" but in this one she really does shine through.

Paired with my wife's (and her work colleagues...Laura?) new "hottest" crush, Josh Duhamel who apart from Transformers 1,2 & (2011 due) 3 and TV drama "Las Vegas" has done little else in the movie world the unlikely coupling are thrown together when their married best friends name them as guardians to their adorable toddler after their sad departure in a car crash.

Initially hating each other after a botched blind date a few years earlier they soon discover that 1st impressions don't always count as they discover a deeper relationship than "looks" and together discover the joys of parenting.

Okay, stop there a minute. The Joys of Parenting......Bring on the comedy!!!

As a relatively new parent myself, albeit 7 years ago the jokes in this are all too familiar. And that is what makes it hilarious. If you don't have kids its every cliche you could ever imagine when bringing up kids and if you have been there then its not too far from the truth. Its what makes this movie great for everyone. It takes "single playboy" and turns him into doting dad, fancied by gay and straight neighbours alike and josh plays this role brilliantly. Heigl also plays a blinder in this one and in my mind, maybe her best film yet. She is very funny and is the recipient of one of the funniest movie lines I have heard all year.

It takes Three Men and a Baby and brings it bang up to date with the "unprepared parents" but it also identifies the joys of childhood, the fun of the first steps, the nappies, the baby carriers and the sleepless nights.

If you have kids then this will bring back great memories, if you don't, it may easily make you wait just a few more years!!!

Either way, its a great movie.

See this if......................you want a proper good chuckle!!

64, Eat Pray Love

Chick flick time again and this time we head off with the "Pretty Woman" herself, Miss Julia Roberts.

Other than a small(ish) part in "Valentines Day" its been almost 2 years since Julia graced our screens in Duplicity and does she look older? haggard? past it?..................not a chance!!!

Julia still carries of leading lady amazingly well, its just in my eyes its a shame that she was leading such a turd of a film.

This film is about a woman who after a getting divorced decides to "find" herself with a 1 year trip taking in Italy, India & Bali. A journalist / writer by trade, she finds her self at the start of the film visiting Bali and a wise medicine man who predicts the outcome of her life, a long & short marriage (at the time she does not know which one she is currently in!!) some time to rediscover herself and then a return to him where he will teach her everything he knows. At the time Liz (Julia) laughs it off but after her return to normal life things start to play out as predicted and the journey begins..............

EAT.
The eat part of this film is in Italy. Great friends, great food and wine and a disregard for her increasing jean size. Along with a tight group of friends she spends a few months totally chilling out and realising that life has no troubles or strife's and the words "Party On" ring true with every turn she takes.

PRAY.
Pray means heading off to India, a voyage of discovery and medial work for no money to come to terms with ones own being.

LOVE.
Back to Bali and a return to the Medicine Man who, as promised teaches her all he knows, Of course, roll on love interest which sees the rest of the film out.

So, why is it crap? - The story is a good one but it is SO SLOWWWWW!!! she plods from country to country and you end up twitching and yawning before she even leaves Italy!!!

That's not to say its not well acted or even beautifully set, it is, but the problem is that chick flick or not, even the chicks were bored!! mine was. There were two walk outs, a dodgy cough and a few smelly oldies in front of us and that made it seem even more arduous then just having to keep your concentration levels on the screen.

I wanted to love this - I like a good action 3d blow em-up as much as the next man but even I like a good kick back and smile film. Its a shame this was not it.

Don't quote me but I think this is based on the true memoirs of Liz Gilbert, although its been adapted/written by Sony for the cinema. If it was a true story and Liz Gilbert does exist I would ask her one question. Next time, just do the LOVE bit, head to Bali and stay there - her house on the beach was AWESOME!!!

Please don't see this - Julia's got enough cash in the bank. I am sure she will understand.

See this if..........................EAT PRAY SLEEEEPPPP!!

63, The Town

IMDB states that this is Afflecks third time out as a Director but nothing stood out to me as anything that required heaped praise..........until now!!

Ben Affleck co-wrote, stars and directs "The Town" which is a movie set in the district of Charlestown, Boston. Home of more bank robbers than anywhere else in the USA.

Affleck plays the son of a convicted criminal who, with his own crew are responsible for a number of high profile robberies resulting in the kidnapping of a beautiful bank manager.

Quick flash forward, Affleck falls for the hostage and they hook up (obviously she has no idea) and he decided to get out of the game, much to the displeasure of one of his partners in crime, James (Jeremy Renner from Hurt Locker fame).

What plays out is a totally gripping suspense drama surrounding the "will he/wont he" battle between love and honour, deception and greed and results in a few make or break decisions which end up probably for the best, for everyone concerned!! But I'm not going to tell you what.

In my mind, Affleck has always been the not so hard, hardman. Always appearing a little too softly spoken for real gritty roles but in this one there is no question, he is ace.

It's well written, greatly acted by everyone and includes memorable performances from Renner, Pete Postlethwaite as the Florist and the lead FBI Agent Jon Hamm is brilliant - finally and FBI agent who actually is not a complete muppet and part of you wants him to catch Affleck!!!

This is a 15 cert and only really because of the language and some basic sex scenes but on the whole, hugely enjoyable and well worth a watch. A nice break from the 3d phenomenon currently sweeping the nation with The Hole 3d, Piranha & Resi Evil. This is a good old fashioned cops and robbers drama with some great lines, great actors and a great plot.

Rain or shine, take yourself down to the cinema and check this one out.

See this if....................Cops & Robbers rule!!!

62, The Other Guys

Its comedy time! and who better than legendary Will Ferrell to lead the way with this buddy cop movie turned action fuelled giggle fest along side co-star "Marky" Mark Whalberg..................

Sorry, nearly forgot myself there - was hoping that the BBC were reading and were planning on asking me to replace Connie Huck on Film 2010. Where was I?

But really, this has all the expectations of a great film. The Rock, Samuel L. Jackson & Mark Whalberg. Three Action greats teaming up with Farrell for what is a geeky cop movie where zero turns hero in the most unexpected way.

What's great about this film is (flashback) Steven Segal received top billing for "Executive Decision" but only starred in the first few minutes the same can be said for Johnson & Jackson. Their brief parts are hilariously received and their convenient demise opens the door for two, not so well received heroes to take centre stage.

Ferrell is back to his sarcastic best in this with Whalberg as the slightly moody recipient of his dry wit and distinct anal approach to police work. Ferrell is the admin loving, data analysing, accounting department mis-fit who is paired up with fiery wannabe action man Whalberg, busted down to office duty after accidentally shooting one of the city's finest baseball players.

Ferrell falls upon a case regarding illegal scaffolding permits which quickly opens up into a global fraud campaign for £37 Billion Dollars. It is down to our two cops to defeat the bad guys, gain the trust and belief of their department & captain (Michael Keaton) and save the day.

Every actor in this is played amazingly. Keaton is great as the department police captain, holding down 2 jobs as a cop / bathroom salesman funding his transsexual sons conquests & Eva Mendes is cracking as Ferrell's completely understanding, loyal, sexy wife (much to the disbelief of Whalberg). Even Johnson & Jackson manage to pull off "arrogant asshole" with a fabulous flair!! Steve Coogan stars as the money man heading the fraud and his surrounding heavy's are the only sore point - just a little bit slow!

Comedy comes in many forms. Farts and Falls get some people roaring in the isles but its the little witty sidelines in this that get the real laughs - keep an eye out for all of the T.L.C references, listen out for Ferrell going into too much detail in his cuss comebacks and most importantly, watch Whalberg melt in the presence of Ferrell's current and past female conquests. Very funny.

This film is great. Its got the action and explosions of any up to date cop action film thrown together with the laughs of, dare I say it, Anchorman?

Those more astute will easily pick up the legendary Ice-T as the narrator and if you stay right to the very end...........and I mean the very very end, past the end credits and music then there is a small, reasonably good joke/outtake between Ferrell and Whalberg regarding a Moose - but to be honest, if by this time you are busting for the loo and cant hold on, call me and I'll tell you in person. it's not that funny.

Great Film, Ferrell back on top form. Love this.

See this if......................Secretly, you're an un-sung hero!!

61, Resident Evil: Afterlife

If my memory serves me right it was about 1996 when Capcom released Resident Evil for the PS1. Since then the franchise has grown to include game sequels and movies which have culminated 14yrs later with the all new 3d version - Resident Evil: Afterlife

The plot has pretty much remained the same from day one. The "Umbrella" corporation is responsible for releasing a virus that pretty much turns everyone into a mind numbingly stupid Zombie's, hell bent on chomping down on any human pockets left fighting for survival. Then we meet Alice. A Supermodel / Zombie bashing heroine who, without much urgency or care seems to take out the living dead with considerable ease.

Over the course of a 3 other movies (I think), Alice goes through transformations of her own resulting in the beginning of Afterlife, appearing as a cloned, bulletproof "Kill Bill" style samurai but early on she gets a rude awakening and a retro-virus jab making her human again.

Then one thing becomes clearly apparent - This film is all about the 3D.

This film was made for 3D in every way. There are more slow-motion fight sequences than in all 3 Matrix films combined and each one is full of 3D baddies, 3D guns, 3D bullets, 3D broken glass, 3D weird Zombie Face sucking wotsits & a 3D, 9ft masked warlord with a stupidly big Axe / butchers mallet. Oh, and did I mention its in 3D?

Okay, I know I am taking the piss a bit but it works!!! DO NOT SEE THIS FILM IN 2D! and that's an order - the entire point and claim of this movie is the 3D element and I feel that without it, on standard DVD the "WOW" factor will be lost and it will just be 90 minutes of slow motion fighting and hot zombie slayers.

Alice (Milla Jovovich) is joined by a few familiar faces this time, namely Mr "Prison Break" and Miss "Heroes" (not the cheerleader, the other one) and for their part the acting is pretty good.

The plot this time is escaping a zombie laden Tokyo to find a hidden city that claims to be virus free. Once Alice has single handedly destroyed much of Tokyo but sadly let the bad guy escape. She hears the distress message stating that there is a "safe city" and quickly heads to Alaska to find it but on arrival its not there. She then meets up with Claire (Ali Larter) who knew her previously but due to a metal beetle thingy strapped to her chest has full blown memory loss. The pair of them manage to hijack a two seated light aircraft and fly down to L.A in search of the city where they meet up with another bunch of survivors which include Claire's brother (who she of course does not recognise) held up in an L.A prison surrounded by about 10,000 blood thirsty zombies. Lots of guns, explosions and zombie crushing then takes up the last 40 minutes of the movie as our team discover the "safe city" is actually an tanker ship just off the coast and they set out to reach it.

Its Soooooooooo predictable and had it not have been in 3D it would have been a bit slow and pants but the 3D alone is enough to keep you entertained throughout and if you are one of the 1 in 10 people that cant see the 3D effects (how sad!) then there are enough hotties in this to keep Hugh Hefner entertained.

The cinema was full, its only a 15 cert and although a few jumpy bits I would not consider this a scary movie. It's Funny in places but unfortunately not all the acting is first class.

See this film if.................................Your tired of disappointing 3D movies

60, Tamara Drewe

The trailers on this film are all about one person, Gemma Arterton. So it would be only fair to start off with a bit about her.

Quantum of Solace, Clash of the Titans, Prince of Persia. Our Gem has starred in some big budget American action flicks and it has to be said, improved with each one. Take out the two "St Trinian's" movies and "The Boat that Rocked" and its back to her roots and a small budget BBC produced film, funded by the National Lottery to get her first leading role.

And it could not be more British if it tried.

Set in Dorset, this film tracks the return of Tamara Drewe, a local girl turned London Journalist who returns to the family pile after the death of her mother. Spending her childhood with, lets say - a massive nose, this ugly duckling has returned in hotter than hot pants, a nose job and a flair for mischief as she sets about raising temperatures and renovating her Mum's old pad for re-sale.

Predominantly set in a Writers retreat, a collection of wannabe authors led by a bestselling owner and his family pave the way for a Brit rom-com where we get Rockstars & Handymen thrown together with depressive Americans and sex mad school girls.

Sadly, its just not that funny. Don't get me wrong - it not crap, just not that funny. It's a good, believable story....even though there are a few moments where you really get a feel of "I wasn't expecting that!!" but on the whole its a reasonably good film. It plods along for a bit not really getting going and it will never really set the Oscars alight but its a good Sunday afternoon sit down.

There is one shining light, and its not Arterton's wardrobe.

It's 18 year old Jessica Barden who plays Josie. Two years since she starred in Coronation Street and not having a single role since 2008, Jessica plays Josie. A 16 year old kid who, with her mate, seems to be one of the only two kids in the whole village who live in their School uniforms and between swigging Red wine, Swearing and throwing eggs at cars has an unhealthy "urge" for Tamara's Rock Star boyfriend.

She is hilarious.

Every line had me in stitches. From using the "F" word as candidly as an Eskimo goes ice fishing to breaking & entering with the ease of the Milk Tray Man this girl is absolutely brilliant. Well played Jessica.

So, to sum it up - its not as funny as the newspapers made it out to be, its not as fast paced as you really think it should be but for a small British movie with what should have been "MY" lottery win funding it, its not that bad.

No plot spoilers (as there a few twists) but its a standard, 3 star movie. "If Doc Martin" or "Saving Grace" are your cup of tea - then this will go down a treat.

See this if........................Kids swearing make you chuckle!!!

59, Dinner for Schmucks

I believe a comedy should make you laugh until you cry. If I want "mildly funny" I will watch my daughter attempt the washing up or at a push, even take humour from watching mums yell at their kids in public. But to spend money on a comedy that is "un-funny", well that's just a waste of time.

So, is dinner for Schmucks really that bad?

Well the critics seem to think so and sadly, so do I.

Firstly I would like to extend my sincere apologies to the few people I recommended this to, before I even saw it - I do hope you went to see Piranha 3d instead!!

Paul Rudd is mildly entertaining in "Role Models" but overshadowed by Stiffler and I will get to Anchorman later on. In this he is sadly underwhelming with his on-screen presence and even David Walliams's characters wife (Lucy Davenport) puts in a more memorable performance, even though a) her last role in "Alice in Wonderland" was credited as "Woman with big Ears" and b) she has the same welded expression to her face throughout.

So, a high point? Okay, I find it hard to slate any Actor who starred in my favourite all time comedy, Anchorman but as you will have read above - Rudd just bit the bullet, so onto Anchorman favourite No.2. Carell is mildly entertaining. Stupidly comedic you laugh at him rather than with him and a comedy that is based around high morale values always makes you look at yourself rather than allow you to switch off and laugh like your belly is about to burst. A comedy should allow you to switch off, kick back, forget the troubles and strife's of life and just chill.

This does none of that.

The plot is all about a Dinner for Schmucks (was it really that obvious?) but the "Dinner" is only the last 20 minutes. What leads up to that is a slow paced, slightly odd, "buddy buddy" movie where Rudd realises he is being a bit of an arse to Carell but nether the less goes onto ridicule him, against the better judgement of his overly hot girlfriend who he ends up losing (for a while) until he regains his senses, stands up for the weird guy and takes a hit for the home team.

It's just a shame its not that funny.

Even a taxidermist mouse collector should raise a few laughs on its own but I couldn't help thinking of multiple dead "Stuart Little's" rather than adopt the slightly odd culture they were going for. Steve Carell has a few class moments but not enough to carry the whole film and the character "Darla" is not only a waste of make-up and fabric but should spell then end of a career for Lucy Punch, sadly with roles set right up until 2012 she is not gone just yet.

I am so sorry, I would love to big this one right up - but honestly, I have had more impressive bowl movements.

See this if.................you like your comedies without comedy!!

58, Piranha 3D

I am going to lay this out straight from the start. This move is a gore fuelled blood fest with more focus on the tits than the teeth so pay attention.

So, first up is the "Teeth": Since Jaws there has not really been any good scary fish films, Deep Blue Sea came close and the easily forgotten Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus was total pants so it was refreshing to see an old school, gory horror film with a proper 18 cert hit the big screen and early on you realise that this has been made with one aim, to show horrific death on a scale not seen since early "Saw" or "Hostel" films.

And its great!!

Definitely not for the squeamish, its amazing how many ways the movie makers found to skin and mutilate a human including the poor girl who's hair gets caught up in an outboard prop, ripping her face off to the young player who loses the lower half of his body, including his manhood which end up floating towards you in full 3D, slightly odd but got a few laughs. There are a few deaths throughout but it really kicks off at the end where the last 30 minutes are full of Piranha's amassing on the party beach and a massacre on a level I have not seen EVER!.

Secondly, the "tits": sorry to say this but this films is definitely meant for the blokes. There is more gratuitous sex and nudity than anything I have seen in years and the Kelly Brook / Riley Steele synchronised underwater scene is definitely a high point of pointless full nudity. Wet T-Shirt contests, silicone implants being gnawed on and the aforementioned penis floating up to you in 3D are some of the funnier moments and we get everything from tequila body shots to dismembered parascenders to keep you entertained.

There is no real plot and there are as many famous faces are there are one-liners including Ving Rhames, Richard Dreyfuss, Elisabeth Shue, Jerry O'Connell, Christopher Lloyd & Kelly Brook.

I believe a brief paragraph on Kelly Brook is required. Hailing from the same school my wife currently works at our "local girl" looks totally fab in this but cant act. Bless her though, she does go full nude and dies marvellously but with her wooden English accent and the acting prowess of my dead hamster it all seemed a bit too much for her however with two more movie releases set for 2010 releases I hope she gets better, quickly.

There's not much else to say - Its Jaws meets Porkies with extra blood and sex added for good measure. Don't go if blood makes you queasy. It wont be your thing. More people die in mass than in the entire Rambo saga (maybe a slight exaggeration) but they do is spectacularly and the 3d is awesome from start to finish - except the penis bit!! that's slightly disturbing.

This is the first of a string of "Adult" 3D movies including "Resident Evil" and "Saw 3D" and if they pull it off half as good as Piranha did then we are all in for movie treats after treats!

See this if...........................you can hold down your lunch!

57, Grown Ups

Adam Sandler, Chris Rock and Kevin James get together in this comedy orgy of fart jokes and slapstick tom foolery as the three of them take to the big screen is this coming of age story of a basketball team, reunited after 30 years later to attend the funeral of their beloved coach.

With wife's, kids and pets in tow our stars embark on a story that sadly has a very weak plot, other than reintroduce a level of visual comedy such as falling over, bashing heads and innuendo.

Okay so it is VERY funny. Our 3 headliners are joined by "Sandler" regular Rob Schneider and relatively unknown David Spade. A Movie Agent, Earth Hippy, Salesman, Jobless Drunk and House Husband are the employment choices of our now "All Grown Up" basketball team who after the funeral decide to spend a few days getting to know each other all over again.

And that's the plot, pretty much done and dusted. This film certainly wont win any writers guild awards and each of the cast has each made far better films but add in some pretty cool / annoying kids, famous "wife's" in the form of Salma Hayek (official hottie) & Maria Bello (Coyote Ugly), a breast feeding 4 year old, a farting Granny, a weird Canadian, a Great Water Park Scene and a painful rope swing incident and plot aside, I was chuckling from start to finish.

Fart Jokes are still cool - official! and in this film its more about "Sandlers" family than anyone elses. He is the Hollywood Movie Agent with spoilt kids, model / fashion designer wife and oriental au-pair and this film becomes more about re-discovering the "great outdoors" for his "x-box crazed" brood and showing his wife that there is more to life than Milan Hotel Suites.

Mix all of that in with a "feel good" ending where Sandler gives something back to the locals from his school that never made it out of the "small town" in the form of a small 5 on 5 basketball re-match and all of a sudden it all becomes clear.....this is not a film that needs critics to slate comedy performances or moan about how much "cast potential" was overlooked and just focuses on one thing. This film was made to allow you to switch off, sit back and chuckle along to all the things that we should laugh at daily but never seem to find the time too.

Oscar winner.........nope.

Chuckle constantly.......YES!!

See this if........................You're not quite ready to "Grow Up"

56, Marmaduke

I never really like to dis kids films if I can help it - I am sure they are not made with me in mind - okay, so Furry Vengeance did get a proper slapping on this blog but when my daughter asked me if I enjoyed Marmaduke, seeing the joy on her face I had to agree!!

So lets try and find some good points.

The cast is pretty impressive. Owen Wilson, Fergie, The Waynes Brothers, Kiefer Sutherland, Sam Elliott - all known names putting themselves forward for this animation based on a newspaper cartoon for the past 56 years and counting.

That covers the dogs, the Human element not so impressive with William H. Macey being the only real recognisable face, along with Marmaduke's owners wife, who appeared in "What Women Want" as the file girl (Erin) and a brief cameo from David Walliams.

Marmaduke is a Great Dane going through his "teenage years". Badly behaved, smelly but with a big heart, Marmaduke and family move from Kansas to California for a life which they are hoping turns out like an episode of the OC. What actually happens is Marmaduke goes back to school at the Dog Park with the social network groups matching those in any American Teen flick to hit the screen in the past 10 years.

What we go through is a roller coaster of "being popular" and the trials and tribulations it brings. A quick reality check (from both the Dog & his owner) wrap this film up nicely and "doing the right thing" prevails with happy faces all round at the end.

Real dogs are used so it blends well with the human interaction and the CGI kicks in with the talking (animal to animal), dancing and surfing of the dogs only.

What I can say, honestly, is that your kids will love it - under 8's especially but I have to remember that that's who it's meant for & not me. Toy Story III it is not but its a fun little movie and a little weekend filler for when your little cherubs are running riot.

See this if.............The phrase "I'm Bored!" echoes more often than not around the home.

55, The Expendables

Imagine your favourite Action Movie of all time. does it have Guns?, Explosions?, Awesome Fight Scenes? Of course it does. Now amplify that by about 10, add in all of your favourite Leading Men since time began and you have nearly met the expectation that this film should deliver.

And deliver it does.

It has the best fight scenes I have seen in a long time, and surprisingly from Statham, not so much Jet Li - although Li Vs. Lundgren is very funny!! The last 20 minutes have more bangs, booms and broken legs, arms, necks & backs than most other Action films combined this year and the humour between the original Planet Hollywood founders (Willis, Schwarzenegger, Stallone) albeit for about 5 minutes covers off jibes at Presidency, Rambo & Cigars - laugh out loud funny!!!

So the plot. The Expendables are a group of Ex-Military Mercenaries under private contract for suicide missions that they manage to survive time after time. Sly, Statham & Li are the main characters with Dolph Lundgren playing an out of control member & two others not so famous. Mr Church (Willis) gathers Sly & Arnie together to offer them work - Arnie declines (Exit Stage Left) and Sly takes the mission. Roll on a bit of Recon, an old looking Eric Roberts, a nasty General, Drugs, Stone Cold Steve Austin and a seaplane escape that rivals no other and before you know it you have one of the greatest action films ever made.

I love this film. Starring, Written & Directed by Stallone this could easily have been his swan song before retirement, a definite high point in his career (even his acting was decent!!) but he is still going with "Death Wish" in the pipeline and a few animations.

In my eyes Statham stole the show - funny, hard as nails & witty throughout he is the catch here. I saw a new side to Jet-Li, a bit of humour and Mickey Rourke played the coolest guy on earth.

Dolph Lundgren looks no different to how he did in Rocky 4 except a few wrinkles and I don't think this film will re-boot his career after a few "straight to DVD" releases but its nice he was along for the ride.

Eric Robers & Stone Cold play the bad guys and the Stallone Vs Austin fight is as hard as anything you could imagine. The movie manages to tie in the wit and humour along with the fights and action and you just feel that Stallone wanted to spend a huge wad of cash on his mates and some big explosions and have a great time doing it. And they did!

If Massive Guns that take off heads / torso's with one bullet, Laughs, Awesome fight Scenes, bone crunching martial arts and some 80's references float your boat then this is the one-off must for 2010.

Its a 15 cert and not all sweetness and light as the special effects are pretty visual - heads and bones being crushed & slashed with blood flowing like a cracked dam, this is not for the weak or slightly squeamish!

I hate to admit it but better than the A-Team? - Maybe. Either way - SEE THIS FILM!!

See this if.........................Action Films RULE!!!

54, Salt

Since I first saw her in Hackers along side then Hubby Johnny Lee Miller (Sick-boy in Trainspotting) I have kind of had a thing for this 1st lady of action.

One of the only actresses of recent times who can pull of "Beat em' up Bad Ass" like no other with roles in Wanted, Mr & Mrs Smith, Tomb Raider & Gone in 60 Seconds she never really gets the "Girlie Girl Love Story" roles and in my eyes she has set herself up as the only female that could probably carry off the 1st female Bond and seems to be the "go to girl" for a good action flick, so how does "Salt" fair?

Well, all the trailers carry the tag line "Who is Salt?" so the premise is they want to keep you guessing. This is all about the twist and if there even is one! so don't panic - there will be absolutely no spoilers here as its fun to keep you guessing - right up until the end of the movie.

Angelina is awesome - her body count in this is nearly on parr with Rambo and her delivery of stealth like spy action rivals that of Mr Cruise in Mission Impossible.

She is pretty much in every scene and it opens with her being beaten half to death as a prisoner and does not really let up throughout its entirety.

This film carries Deceit & Danger hand in hand with Espionage and Treason and is high voltage and jam packed with stunts, fights and guns from start to finish.

Liev Schrieber (Sabre tooth) is also really good in this as Salt's boss (CIA) and most of the cast in this put in great performances but even through all of that, it all comes back to Jolie.

As the plot to this is so critical it is impossible to write about it without giving anything away so I wont, its is a brilliant movie and definitely worth watching. A short blog but a great film.

Action, Suspense, Drama and a great story. All boxed ticked.

See this if...................You like your girls to Kick-Ass!!

53, The Last Airbender

A Quick Update - where are we on "books turned movies"? Harry Potter is nearly done, Narnia 3 has just started showing trailers, Twilight is almost done and who knows what ever happened the the rest of the golden Compass movies so maybe its time to get into an new set.

Avatar: The Last Airbender is a trilogy of books and a 2005 cartoon. The stories follow the resurrection of the last Airbender. A child with the ability to master each of the elements, Air, Fire, Earth & Water. By master I mean move, the skill to manipulate, create and use these elements to his advantage. The other 3 realms can only control their own elements and of those realms only a special few are known as Benders. I know, I still chuckle at the name but as a mature grown up I need to get over that!!

So, that's what its about. As you would have expected I have not read the books, nor even seen the cartoon but its very easy to pick up.

The first movie charts the 2nd coming of the Avatar, a child hidden for 100 years until 2 kids from the water realm discover him. It soon becomes apparent the the Fire Realm are the baddies and our little saviour bolted from training 100 years ago before he had the chance to master the rest of the elements other than Air. Believing he had only been gone for a few days he sets off on a mission to rediscover his true calling and with his 2 water realm chums he learns the Water bending bit whilst starting an uprising among the villages that are fire realm controlled.

Even before they are released I can pretty much guarantee that part 2 will be about mastering the Earth Realm resulting in the final installment focusing on Fire and a battle which leads to the defeat of the bad guys.

So, hopefully that wont spoil it for you.

Dev Patel (Slumdog Millionaire) stars as a the banished prince of the fire realm, hell bent on bringing the Avatar home to his dad to redeem his previous misfortunes and the Avatar himself is played by unknown actor Noah Ringer. We may not see part II until at least 2012 which may be a bit too long to hold interest but don't let that put you off.

The visuals of this movie are great - not so much full on fighting but lots of arm waving and element manipulation takes place instead which results in some pretty good special effects.

This could well be the greatest 3d movie ever made but alas, I cant confirm as I only saw this one in 2d, but even that was pretty cool. If you have seen the 3d version ant its worth a 2nd trip let me know.

It does pad along at a pretty slow pace though, there could easily be more action but this 1st installment is definitely all about the characters and setting the story for the next two films. Hopefully they will get a little more intense but with all trilogy's, parts 2 and 3 alone will not suffice.

Kiddie friendly, it should keep your little ones amused hopefully until the end but if they get a bit twitchy keep the cola on ice!!

See this if...............you fancy a new saga!!

52, The Sorcerer's Apprentice

So when my 6 year old daughter was given free reign over the cinema I was expecting either animated pets or American street dancers so when a Disney remake was chosen I was a little chuffed!!

Okay, so it's not a remake, more an adaptation but it's very cool. The team that bought us National Treasure 1 & 2 have got together again and this time delivered a bit of a blinder.

The story starts with 3 of Merlin's apprentices. Balthazar (Cage) and the 2 others end up in a bit of a battle and Cage manages to lock up a bad sorcerer and a few other nasties along with the love of his life (more trapped than locked up) in a magical urn until such time (about 1000 years or so) that Cage finds the one true apprentice and future holder of Merlin's ring (the source of all magic prowess) who has the ability to defeat Morgana (Evil Witch Lady) and her evil sorcerer's. So who is the magical saviour?......Dave.

Jay Baruchel plays Dave. A smart, slightly odd physics nut with very few social skills. His first meeting with the sorcerer's happens on a school trip at the age of about 10 when he runs down a back street, comes upon a magic shop and in a brief encounter with Cage manages to secure a magical ring, release and then lock up 2 sorcerer's in a 10 year prison jar, and heap ridicule upon embarrassment onto himself when the class thinks he wet himself.

Roll on 10 years, sorcerer's are released and "Dave" is hunted down, now a seasoned college grad who has put the whole kiddie incident behind him. After a brief "Do you know who you are?" speech from Cage comes some sorcerer training, shoes, a childhood sweetheart and a cracking star-wars pun which had everyone in stitches before it was even said.

So that's the plot - for those of you with astute hearing you will recognise Jay Baruchel as Hiccup from "How to train your Dragon" and Nic Cage we all know. Alfred Molina is very funny as the baddie Horvath and known from previous roles in the DaVinci Code & Prince of Persia.

The funniest bit is the only bit pulled from the Fantasia / Mickey's Sorcerer's Apprentice cartoons with the mop and buckets - the music is there (Dum Dum Da Da Da Dum De Dum etc....) and you really do chuckle along as 1 mop becomes 10, then multiplies until the Sorcerer puts an end to it.

The special effects are good and the Mercedes / Ferrari car chase it a highlight. Nic Cage plays his part well and Jay is a great Apprentice, a bit geeky but that's half the charm - and being a Disney flick you know it is going to all work out well in the end.

Not really a bad word here either, It's fun, fast paced, funny and magical.

See this if...................You want to be spellbound!

51, Knight & Day

In a past blog I wrote about a film called "The Losers". A great film in itself but an obvious rip-off of the "A-Team" which turned out to be breathtaking and The Losers ended up being a fabulous warm up treat.

There was also a film called "The Killers" which unknown to me at the time appeared to be the same warm up to Knight & Day, but this time, I am sorry to say that although The Cruise / Diaz outing was good, Heigl & Kutcher easily beat off the A-Listers.

But Why? this film had the cast, the hype, the top gear celebrity lap! but it just seemed to lack something. Don't get me wrong, from a male perspective Diaz looks just as good as she did in "The Mask" and Cruise is his normal smooth self but something just did not feel right.

The action and story were okay - Spy uses blonde mule to smuggle something through passport control, cameras pick up the drop and our heroine is ushered onto a plane full of assassins where the superbly named super spy, Roy Miller? takes out the crew, passengers (f.b.i) and pilots all whilst Diaz powders her nose. Roll on explosive chase movie which becomes more an more cheesy as Diaz goes from dizzy nobody to gun slinging uzi pro in about 45 minutes.

So this is a sweet movie but it just did not have the action / comedy element I was hoping for. Cruise is safe in the knowledge that with M.I.4 currently in pre-production and set for release in 2011 with another 10 movies in the pipeline his career is certainly not flagging, but in the case of this one - if it flops in the UK as it did in the U.S he doesn't have to worry too much, even though it it weren't for him and Diaz starring in it, people would avoid this like a fart in a lift.

In the A-Team I laughed out loud, in the Losers I felt sad about the little kiddies & In the Killers Tom Selleck ruled! but in Knight & Day...I don't know - may if it had a "the" in the title it may have been a bit better.

But its rude to completely slate it..... there were some good bits. The plane fight is pretty good and also the car chases are very slick.

Cruise wants "comedy" but tried to link it with action. The A-team reached new heights with the laugh/boom genre but if I were producing, I'd advise Tom that for laugh out loud roles he should stick to Les Grossman next time!

So that's it really. It can be fondly described as an action romp. But in my mind the Killers has a better story and Heigl plays bemused blonde far better than Diaz, even though Cameron is far hotter!!

See this if............The A-Team is sold out!

50, The A-Team

In 1983 there was no Internet, everyone had only 4 channels on their TV & Radio was a bit crappy.

Saturday nights for an average family was spent in front of the TV and with only 4 channels to choose from, viewing figures were easy pickings for some of the top shows and in its prime, The A-Team held an audience in excess of 20 million viewers and only recently matched by the X-Factor Final. It was one of TV's most popular shows and if you were, like me an 8 year old boy the following statement meant 1 hour of pure bliss was about to begin.....

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The A-Team."

INFAMOUS!!! so when I heard about a big screen movie some 27 years later I could not wait. And was it worth the wait!!

DEFINITELY.

Our movie starts with the A-Team meeting up for the first time, Hannibal & Face are already acquainted and they pick up BA & Murdock along the way. They complete 1 mission before the film leaps forward 8 years, still together and currently "not" wanted by the government and having completed about 90 missions together they set out on a gripping hunt to rescue some US dollar mint plates and tee off against / with (you can work it out) the CIA in a bid for truth, justice and the American way.

The star of this movie is far and away Murdock, if you have seen "District 9" he is the main guy and he is hilarious from the 1st second he starts talking. You can easily be forgiven for thinking the 1st hour of this is an outright comedy. Even the action sequences are tinged with hysterical laughter and it mixes it all beautifully, resulting in some great (albeit it slightly over the top) special effects and action sequences that set this film above pretty much everything else this year.

All the 4 main guys (and even Jessica Biel) is great, Lynch (CIA) is the funniest bad guy I have seen in years and my wife fancied the pants of of Face!! (but I think that's the way they wanted it!!)

BA is tough but sweet and Liam Neeson is a very convincing as Hannibal - it pretty much ends where the TV show starts so, a prequel is the mind set you need when you sit down but the ending leaves room for a sequel and I hope to god they make one (wait as I check IMDB....) nothing yet!!

The A-Team Van only appears at the start for a few minutes which is a shame but you quickly forget as the "warehouse full of rubbish / becomes utility vehicle of war" takes place a few times (an A-Team classic) and there is a few moments where the famous theme tune kicks in, only for a few bars but you get that tingle run through you.

Enough said, NEVER...I could gush for hours, I want it on Blu-Ray for the Flat Screen, DVD for the Bedroom and Digital copy for the ipod and I will be queuing from day 1 to buy this, might even take a 2nd trip to the cinema!!

If you remember the A-Team as a kid then see this film - it will make you laugh out loud at a funny South African man doing a Braveheart impression and if that is not reason enough, then read on....

See this if...(you guessed it) YOU LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER!!!

Sorry, could not help myself!!

49, The Karate Kid

First of all, lets get what we are all thinking out in the open.

The original Karate Kid, although now considered a cult classic was not the best movie ever made. Ralph Macchio never looked "hard" enough to be a karate champion and the shameful 2nd and 3rd follow-ups just made it even worse.

So when this came out part of me hoped it would be a "re-working" like The Italian Job or the soon to be releases Sorcerers Apprentice not a "re-make" like Wicker Man but believe me that barring all but two (or maybe three) differences this is an exact replica of the first film, even down to the damaged leg in the final fight.

But after 10 minutes it did not matter.

Change 1, it takes place in China. Change 2, the "Crane" is now the "Snake" and Change 3, they are all little kids.

In the 1st movie our hero had left college, was able to drive and was pretty dependant. This was okay but in the new movie our 12 year old mini "Will Smith" is totally adorable and what makes it even better is the 12 year old bullies look tougher than the adults did in 1984!! Add in the fact that he plays a part that is so familiar to parents with teenage kids I fully believe that barring the money and fame, he is no different to my own brood with their mess, cheek & humour!

The fight scenes are awesome, probably to do with Jackie Chan's input and after memorable Chan movies like Police Story, First Strike and Operation Condor you know that his fight scenes are quick, funny and completely unbelievable. This is replicated here and the laughs come as often as the ouches!!

You should know the plot, kid gets a kicking, mentor steps in, becomes teacher, honour is defended in tournament, film over. Don't think that knowing the outcome will ruin the experience as this is a thousand times better acted, shot, located & choreographed than the original and you actually believe that Jaden Smith could kick ass!.

It may have helped that "Mum & Dad" produced the movie with Will & Jade Pinkett on site in China to keep an eye on their "more than average" teenager and the first "screen kiss" for Jaden must have been a bit odd with the folks looking on, but there is a reason why this little "soon to be superstar" got top billing over Jackie Chan, he is amazing.

He acts well, fights brilliantly and the "balcony splits" make the best of us wince. Add in the fact that he is still just a kid and already has the swagger of Mr Big Willy himself shows that given the right guidance, scripts and helping parental hand this guy could go along way.

The "wax on, wax off" has been replaced with "jacket on, jacket off" and this did get a bit repetitive but the whole movie (all 2hrs 20 minutes of it) passes like lightening and the finale hits with a sweeping rush of joy and lump in the throat!! All I heard was praise from the crowd and for the first time in my cinema experience I heard a ripple of applause at the end!!

There is a bully, a baddie teacher, a girl, a kiss, a car, a fly swatting moment and more pokes at the original (in-kind) that you could ask for which makes for a funny, witty, fast paced, well written film that I dare you to dislike!!

Not a bad word on this one, I would see it again tomorrow and it definitely hits the blu-ray Xmas list for me.

Age?, 6 & 11 year old girls were hooked throughout and both my wife and I loved it. I don't think I have written a bad review since Brooklyn's Finest but I would watch this a hundred times over rather than a single re-sit of that one!!

If you have daughters that want to be the next "Mrs Bieber" then hang around for the end credits. The final song shows that Smith Jnr cant only just act but takes in daddy's footsteps with a rap as well!! alongside Mr Bieber Fever himself. Too much of the "gag" factor for me but what can you do!

See this if................You like to see old dogs learn new tricks!!

48, Inception

Hmmmmmmmmmm, right. Here goes.

Firstly, if you are hoping that this blog is going to explain what the film is all about, think again.

All I will say is be prepared to have to really keep your attention levels at their finest from start to finish during this one, a slight "wee" break or even dropping your Pepsi bottle will be sufficient time to miss key info and lose your place.

You should be able to work it if your GCSE level was above +4C's and if I said that at one point the film is operating with our actors on 3 levels of sub consciousness at the same time with levels of dreams interlinked with subliminal story lines and different scenarios including flight, arctic conditions, floating buildings and Juno being her amazing self then you are only just understanding the depth this movie goes too.

And what a movie!!! If you manage to keep up it is action and adventure flick from start to finish, definitely one of the best films I have seen all year and after Shutter Island, DiCaprio has once again proved he is becoming a true master of the thriller epic leaving his "boy next door charm" on the Titanic and who cares what was eating Gilbert Grape!!

I wont even get into the special effects!! - beautifully staged and believable to the end (if folding a city in two is believable!!) but seamless - this could have made a great 3d film!!

So, onto the rest of the cast and my favourite is far and away Tom Hardy. For those that watched "The Take" (the 4 part TV drama) and like me thought, "Hang on - this guy is awesome!" will not be disappointed. He is a funny, hard, gun totting, tough guy with a quick wit and a dodgy beard but is amazing in the role and in my mind is the best thing to hit Hollywood from England since Knightly bent it like Beckham

Its a "kids become grown-ups" cast with Ellen Page (Juno) playing a very smart uni grad and finally, oh joy!, a film starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt that does not include the useless title (and plot) of 500 days of Summer - Sorry but it was a total donkey.

Michael Caine makes a brief cameo and an bloody old looking Tom Berenger pops up which was a bit weird - definitely exposing the " If Mickey Rourke can do it...so can I" philosophy - but credit due, he was not that bad!

That's the main actors covered - everyone was great and i was totally hooked for the whole 2hrs 29 minutes, not even an achy leg and I was in the hell hole Screen 4 - bloody uncomfortable seats!!!

After two animations back to back it was great to engage the brain once more and even though its a 12a don't bother taking anyone under that or it will be question after question and you will find a "matrix" style flying fist leaving your seat space and entering the persons next to you as the slightest crumple of a popcorn bag is enough to jog your thought train and you might as well start all over again.

I don't normally gush this much but if mind bending thriller is your cup of tea - then buy a ticket, take a seat, move all other thoughts to one side and give this film the credit it deserves.

Film of the year? Its definitely up there.

See this if..............you want to feel all clever - if only for 149 minutes.

47, Toy Story 3

Two kids films back to back but I suppose its inevitable as the Summer holidays kick off!! Get them out the way early leaving room for the A-Team, Knight & Day & The Sorcerer's Apprentice - but back to the matter in hand.

The 3rd installment of this classic trilogy sees Andy all grown up and facing the dilemma of moving to college and what to do with his toys. Bin 'em, Donate 'em or Store 'em? oh the joys of kids plots - nice and simple.

After a few Miss-understanding and some jaw dropping special effects (to a 6 year old anyway) a majority of our toys end up at Sunnyside Daycare Centre (playschool) and we are introduced to the seemingly lovely, cuddly and over welcoming residents who suck our heroes into the life of a disused toy and all the joys it can bring. Blah Blah Blah - trickery, lies and deceit follow and our toys end up having to look for an escape plan - predictable, Yes. but good? GREAT!

The star of the whole movie this time is not Buzz, or even Woody but Ken. Voiced my Michael Keaton (the 1st Batman) he is hilarious, definitely gets most of the gags and the Ken / Barbie bits are "laugh out loud" funny.

Then there is a plot line about an evil abandoned bear who smells of strawberries and his sinister allies. The Monkey is the scariest for little kids and there is a jumpy bit, but on the whole its lighthearted, funny and enjoyable.

Age? maybe down to at least 4 years old would sit through it and my 6 year old was captivated. As far as "happy endings" go for a moment I thought the whole thing was going to end with severe tragedy, but knowing that there is no way the producers would let that happen soon realised what I was about to witness was probably the "happiest ending" I have EVER seen in a movie. Its totally adorable and, (although they probably won't) leaves the door open for Toy Story 4,5 & 6. but I thinks this one has done its due and done it well.

We saw it in 3d but again I felt let down - for those of you that have gone to Thorpe Park or Legoland and watched their 4d adventures they REALLY work - things popping out right in your face and using the same technology I just wish the movies would replicate but they are all mediocre, scenic dimensional attempts, opting for utilising perspective and depth rather than "jump out" visuals so if you get the chance, save the cash and see it in 2d. However, the cinema was totally sold out, even the front rows and the number of "non-kiddie" groups was astounding. Dates, teenagers, even die hard action nuts were queueing and the laughs from the parents overwhelmed the kids.

This is the best Kids series of animations to date and the 3rd just adds a new depth. It's great. See it now, even if its just for Spanish Buzz - he is awesome!! and a quick not to parents - watch through the credits. Humour to the very end.

See this if...............you got a friend in me!! x

46, Shrek - Forever After

Not to sound cheap but we went to see this in standard 2d, however when we arrived the projector was broken so with a 6 year old in tears we got a 25 minute wait and a free upgrade, specs and all to the 3d showing - Result!

For those that don't know, and I doubt those of you with kids fall into this category, this is the 4th Shrek Movie. I have only seen 1 & 2 so it was nice to get a little reprise at the start of the "story so far..." (always a nice touch!)

So, all the big names are back, Myers, Diaz, Murphy, Banderas, Andrews & Cleese and all play their parts with the confidence we have grown to love and the story plays out seamlessly from the 3 previous films but at the end of the day its just another kids flick.

The 3d was meagre and to be honest, for the cost of a £1.50 pair of glasses and an £0.80p 3d upgrade, in addition to the ticket price, you might as well watch the 2d version - you wont miss anything!! and seeing as we got the 3d for free - we wished it was better.

It's a good plot idea - Shrek gets annoyed with what appears to be his life turning into "Groundhog Day" and in a moment of selfishness wishes it all away - for 1 day - but the cheeky cad know as Rumple Stiltskin, tricks him into a deal that takes away 1day of Shrek's life for 1 day of "Ogre'ness" and when that day turns out to be the day Shrek was born, his non-existence means Far Far Away Land is without our Green Rooney and he has until Sunrise to fix it all back.

So, alternative reality meets Cinderella - Kind of. but its watchable, funny in parts and Puss in Boot's big ol' eyes (and belly) still make you go AHHHhhh!

Keep an eye out for the background action - there is loads going on with characters away from the main attractions and its those classic moments that get the laughs. With week 1 of the Summer Holidays looming the kids will want entertaining early - and you cant go wrong with this.

Toy Story 3 is out as well next week so between that, Get him to the Greek and Predators I am sure that blog will be coming soon - and to be brutally honest I am looking to that one far much more than Shrek - but that's just the Buzz Lightyear in me! Infinity & Beyond!!

If you have seen the other 3 films then you might as well add this to the list - its better than watching Jeremy Kyle (and I should know, 2 weeks off on sick leave and I would have watched paint dry just to get out of the house!!) and now the World Cup is over...Dad's - Its time to spend some time with the kiddies!!

See this if.............Loves first Kiss still makes you warm inside!!

45, Twilight - Eclipse

Okay - so "preview" weekends are great. No ads, you see films a week before general release, packed auditoriums and for the hasty few - a midnight screening.

Unlike my sister who ventured out to a 00.10am showing of this to be the first to see it I was a little less eager and the 10.30am was quite early enough for me - the 2nd showing of the movie and here was I, hoping not too many people would join me on a gloriously sunny Saturday morning.

I was wrong - it was heaving!! and the screens at the ticket office showed the evenings performances already selling out fast. so, blockbuster then? Definitely.

Now I have not read the Twilight books but I went in expecting a big blood fest of werewolves meet vampires and fights, battles, teeth etc but I think it is quite clear that this is now not what these films are all about.

They are love stories, pure and simple - chick flicks with teeth which is great but don't go if you want blood and gore - its not going to happen. So, take off my action head and put on my love story head and lets take another look.

By now we have all chosen our sides - Team Edward Vs. Team Jacob and I am not going to tell you what side I chose but it is easy to see why thousands of teenage girls (and some 30+ KAREN!!) are swooning in the aisles for these two actors. Jacob is again more toned than a marble sideboard and Edward carries off gaunt, pale vamp with an air of class, even Bella has appeared to have grown up a bit so the cast are as expected, comfortable in their roles, characters and story lines - no complaints there then.

As for the story - I might get some mild abuse here but it just seemed a bit slow. There are some great scripted exchanges though between E & J (look out for the one in the tent) and during the film these go from full on aggressive to slightly comical and sarcastic as they get to become slightly better allies but it just seems to take forever getting to the battle, which in itself is over before it really began.

You can tell the special effects have cost a packet, they are great and is it just me that thinks Carlisle looks like Tom Cruise? maybe, but the thing is, slow or not, action or love story you have to watch this.

It is the 3rd in what I think is a 4 part saga (if there is a 5th then I apologise in advance) that if you have been in from the start you cant miss. It plays an integral part in the story but Eclipse? I don't get the meaning of the title - Maybe it should read "Twilight - Love Triangle", that would have made more sense.

So, as I said earlier I don't really do books so I cant tell you if it is true to the novel or if huge portions are left out and I don't really care. With any book turned movie people will be disappointed, but if like me you think a film is a film and who cares if bits were left out, it kept me entertained for 100 minutes then you wont go far wrong.

Just make sure to take a girlfriend / wife along - the 2 guys on their own looked out of place in an row of seats filled with couples & female groups - but I am sure they loved it just the same.

So, quick round up....This is a great movie. The Vamps are cool and tough, Emmett is the funniest vamp, the girls look hot, the Wolves come complete with a six pack on each of them and Bella is once again the "not as attractive as everyone makes out she is" damsel in distress - hopefully she will do a comedy next or she is definitely set for roles as gloomy "emo" teenager until she gets too old.

Sorry Bella.

See this if...............You have seen 1 & 2, otherwise - go home.

44, The Killers

From the second I saw Tom Sellecks trademark moustache arrive on the trailer (and later discovering that there is a "3 Men and a Bride" film on the way!)a few months ago I wanted to see this movie.

It had this funny swagger about it that said action meets comedy and like the up coming Cruise / Diaz Movie "Knight & Day" (one of his 13 movies currently in production - including a MI.4!!)looked like a great rom-com meets action adventure with Spy meeting innocent girl, fall in love etc.

And I was right. From the outset this is a funny film and you are drawn to the leading roles of Kutcher and Heigl as the unlikely pairing who meet in France, fall in love, get married only for her to realise that he is an ex-spy with a £20mil contract on his head - but by who?? out rolls the plot, the brilliant story, a great twist and some fight / action scenes that would not look out of place in a new Bond Movie.

But the real attraction is not our doughy eyed love birds but the Mum & Dad pairing of Selleck & O'Hara (who for those of you that don't recognise the names, He was Magnum P.I and she was the Mum in Home Alone). They are brilliant. The mum especially is hilarious as you will see, not so much by her lines but expressions and actions throughout. He is the smooth talking sophisticated pilot turned wealthy globe trotter with an aire of greatness but one not to be messed with. They fir the roles beautifully and for me, the definite draw to the film.

Although you cant take anything away from the leading actors. Kutcher has become quite a headliner since his obnoxious Punk'd days and recent good roles in Valentines Day, What happened in Vegas & The Guardian have placed him mid way up the A-list with Demi Moore doing her bit to kick him a little higher, and as a producer on this film is achieving behind the camera recognition as well. Heigl is adorable. As she was in Knocked Up & 27 Dresses, even though she flagged a bit in The Ugly Truth she plays a blinder in this. Very funny.

So - I am not going to spoil it. I've seen it twice and laughed more the second time - even though I knew the plot in advance I still enjoyed it. A definite repeater worthy of a blu-ray purchase.

See this if.................You like a laugh with your guns and action!!

43, Street Dance (3d)

Who here loves "Britain's got Talent"???

Okay, me too - and the highlight is always the team dance troops (The good ones anyway!) so when my daughters started Street Dancing off the back of TV telling them they had to because that's what everyone did, my world was opened up to George Sampson, Diversity and Flawless as well as a string of American movie offerings like Step Up etc.

So when this hit the screens in 3D is was a given that I would have to attend.

AND IT WAS AWESOME!!

Okay, I am no street dancer, a few drunken dad moves at a party but these guys smashed it up. The music, moves and atmosphere that this film generated was excellent. It starts out like an expensive version of "Britannia High" and the acting looks like it belongs in an episode of Dr Who (It's by the BBC so give it a chance) but quickly you forget all this and the almost 100% UK cast and their abilities, looks, dress and tunes shine through and both me and my wife were as much into it as the girls.

The group you know, Diversity only appear for a few minutes although George Sampson (Eddie) and Flawless (Surge!) are in it from the start and I was impressed by the appearance of Frank Harper (Football Factory & Lock Stock) as the cafe owner, he was a surprise. A few more familiar TV faces pop up including a guy from "Holby City" and another from "The Office" and it ended up playing out to be quite well acted.

There is also a good story that brings Ballet and Street together but I'll let you go and see it to work it out.

The soundtrack is excellent (if you have kids that love that sort of thing.....secretly me too!) and the dancing is fab!

I loved this film - and the 3d was excellent, very subtle and atmospheric throughout but kicked in when it really counted with a few hats flying out at you and kicks / jumps looking really good. I found myself bouncing along all the way through.

I don't have a bad word to say, the girls are hot, the boys are fit (say wife and daughter) and even George Sampson plays a blinder as Eddie.

Love this (again! will stop gushing now) - Its been out a while so be quick but see it in 3d as a must - go this weekend. Take everyone.

See this if.................. B.G.T hits your TV's EVERY WEEK!

42, Brooklyn's Finest

Wesley Snipes, Richard Gere, Don Cheadle & Ethan Hawke. All fine actors, each starring in amazing movies. An A-list to be proud of?

Its a shame they all put their name to the worst film I have seen since "Ponyo" (A movie so bad it did not even make the Blog!)

Now don't get me wrong, I love a good action movie. Dirty Violence, Swearing, Gun fights and bloody action but this was just truly awful.

Narcotics, Undercover & Uniformed Cops, all from the same precinct go about their days oblivious to each others existence dealing with money troubles, undercover loyalties, alcohol / women trouble, drugs, all the usual suspects and the premise is great but it just does not deliver. Over two hours of plodding along with no real pace, a few gun fights and more "F" words between Cheadle and Snipes than is really necessary made for a dull, slow, long turkey that will not be on my DVD Xmas list.

The last 10 minutes gets a bit better when all 3 of our burnt out cops end up in the same place and it all comes together. But even that's disappointing.

I really don't have anything else to say. Avoid this film. sorry.

See this if...............Pulling teeth is fun for you.

41, Letters to Juliet

So, in Mamma Mia! a new icon for romantic love stories made a huge splash onto the cinema screens and Amanda Seyfried was born to the masses. But, she had been around for a while before that. A brief appearance as a full on hottie in Alpha Dog along with some CSi, House Md & Law and Order TV episodes with her movie debut in Mean Girls has paved the pay for Hollywoods nicest and newest sweetheart.

She does not have the WoW! factor of Megan Fox but as the "girl next door" its obvious that Hollywood has taken this cutie under their wing and are rolling her out in one romantic flick after another with an appearance as Little Red Riding Hood in 2011 (and its not an animation!)

So I stepped into this film expecting a soppy love story. Blah blah blah.......yawn but to be brutally and openly honest.....It was a great film.

It follows a couple taking a pre-wedding Honeymoon to Verona, Italy as due to the Mr's Restaurant opening straight after the wedding there would be no time! It quickly becomes apparent that he is only there for the suppliers and food / wine tasting leaving our sweetheart alone, bored and with nothing to do in the city of love.

On an solo outing she stumbles upon Juliet's balcony and hundreds of letters left on the wall by girls who need Juliet's love advice.

Having never been to Verona I don't know if this is true but it could easily be.

So, she sees a woman taking down the letters, follows her home and discovers "Juliet's Secretaries". A gaggle of old Italian ladies who respond to every letter Juliet receives, spreading love and hope to the many heartbroken souls who descend upon this romantic city.

As an aspiring writer she joins them an upon discovery of a 50 year old letter hidden in the cracks decides to reply, launching the recipient into a mad dash across the ocean with snooty grandson in tow to seek out the love of her life, albeit 50 years prior. Now we have a slightly odd road trip movie with our heroine tagging along where, you guessed it...it's more than the old lady (Redgrave) who discovers true love.

So, Is it soppy?...Definitely, but its beautifully acted, the setting are adorable and the English rogue's charm who who at the start, you believe is the worst actor in the world quickly changes your mind and you keep shouting !!!KISS HER!!!

This is not my normal choice of film but take a chance, take the Mrs and kiss her during the title sequence.you will see why! If she is half as romantic as my wife she will see that softer side of you shine though. Shoot and Score!

Be a Man. See a good chick flick and enjoy it.

See this if..................There's a Romeo inside you, gagging to get out!

40, Robin Hood

Without a "Bryan Adams" in sight I was glad that another crack had been taken at telling the story of Robin Hood. Why? Well because if you think about it, potentially it all the adventure of "Pirates" mixed with the scale of "Gladiator" and if, like me you love your epics this is one not to be missed.

When Disney's Robin Hood came out with a Fox, Bear and Lion taking the lead roles it was simple, as with the Kevin Costner version, Robin of Locksley robbed from the rich and gave to the poor, governed by the evil King John awaiting the return of Good King Richard the Lion Heart from the crusades, John (aided by the Evil Sheriff of Nottingham) raided the simple village folk of all their taxes allowing Robin to run around with his band of Merry men looting the rich folk and giving it back to the poor?............sounds correct? of course it is, everyone knows the story of Robin Hood.

However, not this time. Robin Hood is NOT Robin of Locksley, he is Robin Longstride - a totally different family, who assumes the identity of Robin of Locksley when the real one dies and our hero decides to return his sword to the dead Robins father. On arrival at the Locksley farm / village he meets Marion (Robins wife) and after a lengthy chat with her father in-law assumes the role of Robin of Locksley and takes up his place as the rightful heir and husband???? - There is loads more to this plot line but that about covers the basics.

Okay - so a bit distant from the story we all know but to add a few more twists, King Richard dies early on leaving the actual throne to John - who on the surface is actually quite nice!!! The Sheriff of Nottingham is a bit of a sap, albeit beautifully played by Tom from Spooks but its the Merry Men and Friar Tuck who in my eyes steal the show (and the first time I have seen the actor Kevin Durand play a good guy role - look him up)they are absolutely hilarious!!

This film can easily be portrayed as a prequel to the Robin Hood we all know - it is only after facing the french army head on, led by their King and an English traitor (Mark Strong) bent on instigating civil war so the English borders are weakened do Robin and King John stand side by side, wreaking devastation of the advancing French troops - and for that part its a great partnership. But when the "adoration" of the troops is bestowed upon Robin and not King John does he get declared an outlaw... blah blah blah and then it ends. So a sequel maybe?? well there is no talk of one yet so who know...........maybe in the future.

As you know, I don't normally go on about the plots in this much detail but if you watch this film thinking you know what its all about you will be mistaken - a new plot, a new story and a new twist - personally I loved it.

There has been criticism about the accents, acting etc but don't let it bother you....its hardly noticeable and gets washed away with the great story and fight scenes very quickly.

A host of British & American talent star, including 1 Aussie and in general - this is a great film.

See this if...................Gladiator floats your boat

39, The Tooth Fairy

What half term would not be complete with a trip to see the most recent kiddie flick. The thought of the "Rock" camping it up in yet another poor, unfunny kids film was almost too much to handle knowing that my wife and sister were in the next screen watching SATC2 but never mind - what's the worst that could happen?

Maybe a pleasant surprise!

Okay, as with most kids films this one is not going to win any Oscar's and Dwayne's performance is on par with that of his recent PG outings - the last 5 movies have all been kids flicks and Grid Iron Gang was his last major role of any interest but believe me when I say that this film is not about him. The supporting cast are amazingly funny.

Take The Rock out of the picture and Stephen Merchant is absolutely hilarious as the case worker Fairy Tracy and Julie Andrews and Billy Crystal also put in memorable performances.

But in my eyes its all about Tracy - The lanky spectacle of comedy perfection taking the form of Mr Gervais witty comedy sidekick stands well and truly on his own two feet playing a blinder alongside Dwayne's somewhat lack lustering portrayal of a down and out ex NHL hockey player, busted to the lower leagues due to injury and taking on a new girlfriend and her somewhat disappointed kids. Carly, the girlfriend is played by Ashley Judd - her first major role since forever and in her defence - plays her role with a touch of class.

This story focuses on childhood dreams and a kids perception of what is imaginable - even with that saying I have probably built more into the story than the producers did but if you have kids they will laugh out loud. If like me, you find Merchant the funnier of the Gervais / Merchant partnership then this one is for you. There are some good points to the film but no spoilers this time, just watch out for the scenes with Mary Poppins and Tracy the case worker fairy - even if you laugh at those bits alone it will be worth the time and money spent on seeing your little cherubs smile.

See this if................the half term is getting too much!!