88, Hereafter

Tough one this.  Well, for starters the trailers easily lead you to believe Matt Damon is the lead role and yes, he is the most recognisable but this is a film of 3 parts - and the other 2 leading cast members are just as good, if not better in their performances as Damon.

But first a warning... This is a sad movie, with only a few moments of happiness dotted in between so hankies at the ready.

We start with devastating Tsunami wiping our what could easily be Haiti but is not listed as such - you cant fault the special effects and it is as brilliantly done as it is sad to watch.  This gives us lead Number 1.  A French TV presenter / reporter who survives the onslaught of the wave after having a near death experience.

Then we move to London - 2 twin boys living with their alcoholic mum and constantly pursued by Social Services, these young kids cover for their mum both at home and outside and try everything to help her out - its only after sad event number two takes effect and once again (hankies out) devastation hits their lives and we have our 2nd leading role.

Then its Matt's turn. A Psychic living in San-Fransisco.  Taking a factory job after living the life of a "medium" as he cant face a "life full of death" - much the the disappointment of  his older brother who sees it as a lucrative business rather then a curse that Damon lives with on a daily basis.

The movie follows these three individuals lives until they all end up in London and on a chance day, end up crossing paths - resulting in the answers each of them are looking for.

There is no twist and no underlying "light bulb" moment.  Its just a story of 3 people and the different ways they come to terms with their own life and death situations.

Cram this into 90 minutes and you would have quite a good movie, sadly its nearer the 2hr mark and you really start to feel it dragging along.  so, note to all of you - if you watch this and all 3 are in London - there is not long left!!

The stand out performance is from the kid.  He is absolutely hypnotic and maybe its his own circumstances that make you just want to pick him up and take him home.

Also, F.Y.I - a chunk of this is subtitled, mainly all of the French bits as a majority take place in Paris so be warned.

Weepy? Yes.  Too Long? Yes.  Good overall verdict? Why not!

There a few little smiley moments - the cooking classes are sweet but if any of my "first dates" ever went as bad as Matt's did then its a wonder I actually managed to get married!!

Its emotional movie and one that you should not see if you are feeling slightly tender but other than that - a nice story well told.

Well done Mr Clint Eastwood, nicely Directed.  Only next time, can we have "In the Line of Fire 2" please?

See this if..........................................you fancy a good old cry, even before the end!!

87, Gulliver's Travels

So this isn't the first time this has been tried.  Mainly in TV adaptations the story of Lemuel Gulliver has had both Richard Harris & Ted Danson take the lead but in this new twist for 2010 we meet an up to date Gulliver (Jack Black) who is portrayed as a bit of a loser trying to impress the girl of his dreams (and also senior office manager) by making up stores of travelling the globe and attempts to self promote himself out of the mail room.

He manages (with the help of a little plagiarism) to wangle a trip as a travel writer for the magazine to the Bermuda Triangle, while at the same time impressing the girl of his dreams and bagging a comfy little trip in the process.

Once there, things take a turn for the worse and Black ends up being transported during a massive storm to Lilliput, a land where people are no bigger than your finger and he becomes the hero of this small mystery kingdom after feeding them the same lie's and untruths that he did back in his home city.

However, his plan soon backfires and when faced with an actual "Mr Nasty" a 6in General with a 6ft Robot to back him up, Gulliver is quickly shown to be a true coward and sent to exile.

Its only when his Boss, who ends up setting out to Bermuda herself after uncovering Gulliver's lies ends up in Lilliput as well and after being taken hostage its up to Gulliver has to man-up and for once, be a true hero.

Plot sorted, and don't get me wrong its not a bad movie.  But for me, Jack Black is just not one of my top actors.  The Rock and Roll loving, slightly tubby, down and out nerd he seems to play so many times with the baggy shorts and ill fitting T's is back on the big screen and it just seemed like an all too familiar outing for him.

So, Hopefully there is a shining light that can make up for that and here they are.....

The stellar U.K cast is where its at for me.  Billy Connolly, James Corden, Emily Blunt & Catherine Tate as the Lilliputian royal Family totally steal the show and the humour is second to none.  But even they are overshadowed by one particular character.

General Edward, played brilliantly by I.T Crowd Legend, Chris O'Dowd.

Chris is brilliant as the egotistical, self righteous Edward and is not just funny but ridiculously so.  After other movie appearances such as love struck loser 'Simple Simon' in the "Boat that Rocked" and Blind Swordsman, Marco in Dinner for Schmucks,  O'Dowd proves that you don't necessarily need American A-Lister's to make movies work and he completely owns this one.

Its not an Oscar winner, and sadly again - disappointing 3D but I'm getting used to that now!!

See this if..............................U.K Comedy talent rocks!!! even on the big screen.

86, The Kings Speech

OBVIOUSLY I had to go and watch this movie.  But originally I was not planning on it. 

Why?

Well basically for me, a period drama is about as exciting as crochet class at a W.I meeting!  I could not honestly care what goes on at Downton Abbey and apparently there was a book written once about Pride & Lettuce?

So when I say "Period Dramas" are not my thing I REALLY mean, they are not my thing.

However, something about this one made both me and my wife want to take a look (and her love of period Dramas puts my own hatred to shame!)  So what was it?  Well - read on...

The lure of the dashing Mr Firth doing what he apparently does best? or even the inspiring Helena Bonham Carter playing the Queen Mum, fitter than anyone else had ever dreamed? maybe even a young Princess Margaret played by everyones most loveable child star from Outnumbered!  Or dare I say it, Wormtail portraying Churchill & Guy from Neighbours as the entitled heir to the throne?  The Legendry Gambon playing King George or Geoffrey Rush as Lionel - Friend to Royalty and speech therapist extraordinaire?

Could it be all of the above..............YES!

Everyone in this movie was practically perfect in every way.  You could not fault a single performance, and what really pleased me was the humour!  Its a funny movie!

Amazing.

I was hooked from the start - feeling like I was accompanying the Duke through his journey to the Throne and feeling his every torment with his stammer. 

Everyones funniest bit has to be the barrage of obscenities that reel off Firths tongue as smoothly as silk on a marble floor and it really opens your eyes that in fact - King or no King - everyone needs a few minutes in their life to let rip!!!

The Wallace Simpson story is also brilliantly cast and for me, not actually knowing that much of my own monarchy's history (sorry!) I actually felt amused, educated and pleasantly surprised at how much I embraced this film.

Its not going to be for everyone - but with an open mind and a love of film in all its guises this should strike a chord with most of you.  I hope he nails best Actor at the Oscars - its well deserved. 

Am I converted to Period Dramas? Absolutely NOT!!  There wont be a Kings Speech 2 so no need to go through it again - once was enough and the memory will end happy.

My Sundays are for Top Gear.  Downton Abbey can have its place on the other side.  not bothered!

I have seen the Kings Speech!!  Its an Oscar winner - I am proud to support it and if you are one of the 4000 people that have read this blog over the past 3 months in one of the 9 countries listed - then apologies if this bit of England gushing is too much for you - but what else would you expect?

Love this - Thanks to everyone who told me to see it - you were right!!!

See this if..................................RULE BRITTANIA!!!

85, Morning Glory

I remember catching the back end of this trailer as I hurriedly grabbed a last minute cappuccino from the kiosk and immediately asked about everything I missed - Harrison Ford in a comedy?!? that just does not happen so when Han Solo was set for cinematic humour I had to be first in line.

The story is simple, small-time successful producer (The lovely Rachel McAdam's) is fired due to cutbacks and bags her self a big city job as Exec Producer at flagging Breakfast show, Daybreak.  The crew are a little old hat, the presenters arrogant and on day 1, McAdam's manages to fire the lead male Anchor (Phil from My Family) leaving a bitter Diane Keaton flying solo.

The Channel director, Jeff Goldblum  tells her to get a new male Anchor and she goes after News Legend Mike Pomeroy, (Ford), who is regarded as the 3rd worst person in the world with a history of sincere, front-line reporting and the switch to "chatty" daytime tom foolery proves just too much for him.  McAdam's & Ford end up going head to head on every small detail until dropping ratings means an ultimatum from the top which results in a "do or die" transformation of the show to save their careers, reputation and jobs.

So, That's the plot - and Ford, McAdam's, Goldblum & Keaton are brilliant throughout.  Witty, funny, snappy and sarcastic.  They all gel really well.  A good job, well done.  There has been talk that Ford plays a copy cat of our own national treasure, Adrian Chiles and yes, the show is called the same thing but its purely coincidence.  The films way better!

Sadly, it does seem to take a bit of time to kick off.  Only about half way through do the laughs really start to come thick and fast and this is once McAdam's has changed things.  Then it really gets going - even Ford gets a few witty on-liners.

There a bunch of other well known faces, mainly minor roles but the crew get as many laughs as the leading cast as we see cameramen, weathermen and segment presenters also take part in what results in quite a good film.

Harrison is looking quite old now, much more so than Indiana Jones 4 and with only Cowboys & Aliens penned in for the rest of 2011 hopefully he has finally hung up the whip and gun!

See this if.............................................you're happy with a Slow Burner, but glad when it gets better!

84, Season of the Witch

Sometimes a good old historical romp is well received.  14th Century Knight's, battling for the Church in the Crusades, defeating army after army until one day the killing of innocents becomes too much and Cage & Pearlman decide to go rogue until they are picked 1 month on and rather than face imprisonment & death for desertion they agree to transport a Witch to a monastery for a trial and execution which should rid the land of the plague cursed down upon them.

So, all happy then!  Nic Cage & Ron Pearlman play the comrades in arms who agree to transport the Witch across country only aided by Tommy from "Snatch", a priest and a few others.  Cage is back to his long haired look with his not so funny one-liners and Pearlman is the hit first, speak later character who seems to tag along as a sidekick / body guard.

The Witch herself was quite a good performance, a young girl who keeps you thinking for the first half of the movie if she is good or bad until what I initially though would be a spine chilling, hex cursing, good old fashioned rumble in Ye Olde' World Jungle quickly becomes something quite different indeed.

Sadly, this is a slow paced, disappointing movie that could have been so much better.  As regular readers will know, I try wherever possible not to dish out spoiler alerts but deserves a little 'heads up'.

She's not a Witch.  That does not mean to say she isn't "something" - but alas, not a Witch.

So the real question is, do you want to spend 90 minutes going to see this and work out for yourself if the outdated special effects that would look as at home in "Jason and the Argonauts" as they do in this, 48 years later on is worth your hard earned time and money?

For me, Not so.  I am hoping that Cage's next outing in "Drive Angry" is better than this so heed these words - don't cancel any plans to fit this film into your diary.  If you end up lost, confused and at a Cinema with nothing else to see and its not raining, then go an watch it.  But if the sun is shining - work on your tan instead!!!

See this if......................................................its in Screen 8 - then you can snooze throughout!!

83, The Green Hornet

So, who knows who the Green Hornet was?  if not then let me offer a brief history lesson.

The Green hornet first surfaced in about 1940, then most famously came back in about 1966 (ish) with Bruce Lee starring alongside Van Williams in a program where two crime-fighters evaded crooks and cops alike to become heroes, albeit with out powers.

So, skip forward 40ish years and we have a Hollywood makeover that pits regular stoner / dorky leading man, Seth Rogan alongside newcomer Jay Chou as a rich son of a newspaper mogul who after his dads untimely demise puts aside his partying lifestyle to run the family paper.  Hooking up with ex-mechanic / regular coffee genius Kato his eyes are opened to a world of possibility and the pair of them decide to take on the criminal underworld whilst keeping the police guessing who's side they are on.

So that's the plot - before we cover Rogan & Chou lets look at the rest of the stars - my favourite in this is the brilliantly cast Chudnofsky, the criminal mastermind plays by Christoph Waltz (The amazingly creepy Hanz Lander from Inglorious Bastards)  He is phenomenal.  Cameron Diaz rocks up about half way through as the Temp P/A and Green hornet expert and there is a tiny cameo early on from current "127 Hours" James Franco (but it might not be......uncredited but it looks like him!!)  Eddie furlong appears for about 4 minutes as a crystal meth dealer and the Dad, played by Tom Wilkinson is again, great.

Now the cars!! - sorry but any film that has a Bugatti Veyron deserves a special mention and the Black Beauty is one car that I would have over my dream Lambo Gallardo if offered!!

That leaves 2 people.  Firstly Rogan.  Yes he co-wrote, produced and stars in this but even though he has a self named "fart gun" and lost a load of weight for this one he still comes across as a dick.  Zac & Miri, Superbad, Pineapple Express & Knocked Up cemented his career as the stoner / go-to guy for fat drug jokes and he is still yet to shake this tag-line.  however, the character he plays is a self centered, rich, spoilt brat so this matches him perfectly and once realism sets in you do slowly warm to him in this.  But he is by no means the star of the show.

Kato is excellent.  With homages to Bruce Lee throughout the entire movie that range from hand sketches of the dragon himself to a replica move of the infamous "1-inch punch" Jay has captured in essence the legendary martial performer and to Lee fans - this should appeal greatly.

I was expecting it to a slightly better "all-round" movie and as for the 3D - well that was total pants.  Not even worth commenting any further on.

Kato and Chudnofsky completely steal the show with the Black Beauty & Veyron coming in 3rd and 4th - Diaz is her normal Smokin self in my eyes takes 5th place.  Sadly, Rogan disappointed.  At least he gets a cut as producer and writer so if the movie bombs - he should at least pocket future royalties!!

Overall: (Highs) - quite funny, loads of guns and explosions, great cars and the lovely Diaz.  (Lows) - Rogan.

See this if.......................................Even without the powers - Superheroes float your boat!!

82, The Next 3 Days

So a new Russell Crowe thriller!!! Awesome.  Gladiator, Robin Hood, bring it on - great trailers, action adventure.Cant wait!!!

Only it takes Soooooooooooo long to get going.

I am sorry, I really wanted enjoy this one.  The plot was great in premise.  Loving wife and mother wrongly convicted for Murder, Husband defies the law to break her out and risks everything to get his family back together.

Okay, lets start at the end and work backwards.  The last 1/4 of this movie is fantastic.  Heart pounding action and chase scenes.  The: will they / wont they get away with the kid / without the kid? will his Dad drop them in it? Will he have the nerve to take down a drug dealer for cash? will he think it through? and most importantly - why does the Legendary pairing of Brian Dennehy & Liam Neeson have such minor roles!!!

All good questions and luckily, all get answered, but it is a real shame it takes the other 3/4 of the movie to actually get going.

Crowe we all know but its the "wife" role, played by Elizabeth Banks (Role models / Zac & Miri) who steals this one in my eyes.  Really good performance and perfectly cast.  Sadly, one of my newest, favourite actresses (Olivia Wilde) who after a few years as "Thirteen" in House MD and a recent major role in Tron: Legacy appears but in a really meagre casting - she can do much better than that!!!  Luckily when I speak, Hollywood listen and she is cast in a further 6 movies between now and 2012.  Cant wait!!

I am not going to give away any of this, purely because by the time the action kicks off you are either eating your own toes with boredom or have already made 3 toilet breaks and if anyone was to spoil the surprise at this late stage you might actually wonder why life is worth living!!!  to be honest - the long build up is worth it as the last part does make you sit up and pay attention so here are my words of wisdom.

Don't rush in early, it wont be too busy and the highlight of the trailers is that FINALLY the Gulliver's Travels Orange Ad has moved on and its time for Rio the Parrot to take up the next 3 months of our lives on a weekly basis.

See this if......................................Climaxes are you thing, even if it means a slow build up!! ;-)

81, Love and Other Drugs

Define Rom-Com?  To date, most are more romantic than comedic, hence the tag lines "Chick Flick" when we refer to them.  So wouldn't it be nice get a real Rom-Com that's flips the trend.  a full on Comedy, with romance added in, and a little tragedy?

Well, swap the romance for Nude Sex scenes and increase the tragedy levels by a thousand plus some hilarious jokes and you have described this movie beautifully.

Lets get the tragedy out of the way first.  It really does tug the heart strings and will make the more emotional of you shed a tear, although everyone loves a happy ending so rest assured (spoiler alert.............)

You get one!!

Yes, this film does focus predominantly on the illness suffered by Anne Hathaway's character which really does make you sit up and take note but whats great about this film is it's not all about that, and to be fair, is also one of the funniest comedies I have seen in a while.

Okay, Hathaway regarded as hot?  Well don't forget our "child friendly" actress has been in Hoodwinked, Princess Diaries,  Alice in Wonderland & Valentines Day (to name a few) and we have had to admire her charms from afar......but in all true Hollywood style each actress needs their "Helen Mirren" moment and this is hers. 

Full on, frontal nakedness....and lots of it!! so bear this in mind if you are planning to take your mum to see this!!  but there is also something for the ladies, Gylenhaall also bears most of his flesh too, so everyone's happy!!

Onto the comedy.  This is a laugh out loud funny movie.  Gylenhaall and Gad are responsible for most of the laughs.  Gad, the uglier, fatter younger brother is hysterical in his search for empty sex with beautiful women, a trait wholly adopted by his older sibling.  Oliver Platt is also on top form as the "mentor" sales rep and together, they are like the Three Musketeers gone wrong!!

The plot is a simple one, Single playboy and sales Jedi (Gylenhaal) stops at nothing to bag the sale and 9 times out of 10 this also means having to sleep his way to the top until he meets Hathaway, a Parkinson's sufferer who due to her condition seeks exactly the same thing.  Playing hard to get, Gylenhaal is determined to keep it simple but the humour, sex and beauty of Hathaway draws him into unfamiliar territory and our leading man has to weigh up whats most important in life.

Yes its a sad movie, But to find a movie that is as funny as it is tragic, as saucy as it is meaningful  is a rare treat.

Previously in my eyes Gylenhaal was a good actor but never captivated me as a true presence.  This movie changed my mind - he is awesome, funny and extremely likeable. 
Well played Jake.  Just need Maggie to follow suit now.

Also, and this is the best bit.  I now see Anne Hathaway in a different, better, sexier light.  More please!!!

I cant fault this one bit.  A chick flick for guys?  A Rom-Com that's not too soppy? A movie for all.
(just don't take the parents or kids!!

See this if....................................you want Funny, Sexy, Tragic & Romantic all-in-one.

80, The Way Back

Before I get started, lets state one thing.  If Action, Sex, Explosions, Comedy etc are your thing and you never deviate then this film is definitely not for you.

So whats left? What makes this film great?

Well, to be honest this is an extremely moving true story that really captures your imagination and the thought that it actually happened to a group of near strangers made it even harder to believe - but because it did, and it affected a group of WW2 prisoners in such a way that defies belief makes you sit back in awe of their achievement.

I loved this.

The Gulag, one of the worlds most severe prisons.  Deep in Siberia its the wilderness and desolate location that acts as the guards, not the guns, dogs and watchtowers. 

A group of Polish, American & Russian prisoners devise a way to escape, knowing that they would need to survive the 4000km trek to freedom.

Mark Strong is the brains behind the plan, although not venturing on the trek himself he makes a few inmates believe it can be done.  Its not until the arrival of Janusz, a young Polish guy accused of soviet spying who believes Strong's words and devises an escape. In tow are Colin Farrell, (a Russian career criminal) & Ed Harris (an American patriot), along with a few others who Janusz befriends inside.

Soon after they manage to escape, battling the severe Siberian winter(s) their trek takes them across Russia, Mongolia, into China and then via the Himalayas, onto India.  I checked it on Google Maps - that's a pretty epic journey!!

Along their way they meet a young girl, also on the run and decide to take her along.

Sadly, only 3 make it to India (No plot spoiler - it tells you at the start of the movie) but that does not necessarily mean the rest die - merely go separate ways? but there is some tragedy.  You will have to wait and see who makes it!!

I cant categorise this for you other than that it makes you really think about your own lives and what you would do in this situation.  Battle on for the thought of survival? Stay true to your moral beliefs leaving no man behind? realising that in the face of sincere danger you are stronger as a team?

It's epic.  Amazing scenery, beautiful acting and an truly amazing story.  If Historical or factual movies float your boat then buy a big bag of popcorn, settle down, leave the kids at home and revel in what is a definite future masterpiece.

On a Bank Holiday Tuesday, the cinema was full to capacity for this adventure and there was silence from start to finish.  Captivating, inspiring and beyond belief.

To those Gulag inmates of the 40's, I salute you.  Brave souls in the harshest conditions.

See this if...................................you believe cinema is more than guns and bombs!!

79, Meet the Parents: Little Fockers

When I first saw the trailers for this 3rd installment I thought it might have gone one movie too far.  It looked cheesy, over acted and a poor attempt to grasp the few remaining jokes that might of been missed previously with the over used one-liner of linking "Focker" to every imaginable everyday sentence. 

Growing very old!! 

However, I was pleased to find that the film makers managed to make me chuckle more to myself in this one than the other two combined.

Hopefully everyone knows the characters by now, Ben Stiller plays Gaylord Focker, a name much ridiculed by his wife's family and friends, mainly DeNiro.  A good few years has now passed from the the 2nd outing with young kids in tow and our hero, Gay (Greg) now heading up the nursing division of the local hospital.  Byrnes (DeNiro) suffers a minor heart attack and survives unbeknown to his wife and daughter. 
He relies on Greg not to spill the beans but asks him to take over running the "Family" to which Greg takes on will full Mafia gusto - highly amusing.

The star of this one though is Jessica Alba who plays the brilliantly named Andi Garcia, a medicinal drugs rep who is focused on bagging both Greg's endorsement on a new drug as well as the big guy himself.

As seems to be with the other two two movies all seems to start off fine, then Greg messes up and has to win back the affections of those he loves - in this one though his doting wife has his back the whole time and its Alba who is warned off as our loving husband and father stays true to his "Focker" roots. 

Streisand & Hoffman once again rock up as Greg's Parents with show stopping excellence and Owen Wilson excels himself as Kevin, the ex-boyfriend that every new boyfriend fears and is hilarious, even richer and more freaked out than the first one!!!

I think I was expecting too little in the way of new jokes and humour but it was the opposite, they managed to further develop the roles of the cast and if anything, made an improvement on the past two movies.

There are some great scenes but even though its aimed at "kids" there a few saucy bits and a lot of sex references that the younger viewer might not be accustomed too.  A lot will go over their heads but my youngest who is now 7, laughed along with the rest of us - albeit she didn't follow that much of it.

I laughed out loud and was pleasantly surprised at the outcome.

Well done Stiller & co.  I applaud you on not screwing it up!

See this if....................................You're bored of Turkey!!!  Merry Xmas xx.

78, Tron: Legacy

Right, Firstly it is very important that you clearly understand exactly what I am about to say because for me, this is a defining comment that I hope I never live to regret.............

This is the Best special Effects film I have Ever Seen!!!!

So, now you are on my level its time to examine that fact a little deeper.

1982.  Tron (1).  For its time, a visionary masterpiece.  However, watching  it back on Sky Movies Classics it looks dated, dull and cheap.  I did try, but sadly had to switch off.  Luckily the story is simple.

Flynn (Bridges) is a computer genius and founder of upstart company Encom, he manages to create "The Grid" and gets warped into it, living in his virtual universe.  The 2nd movie starts a few years after this and one night Flynn disappears after reading his son a bedtime story.

Leap forward about 20ish years and Sam, our "grown up" son is now the major shareholder of Encom although takes no part in the running of this now, global monster.  Always wondering what ever happened to his Dad, Sam stumbles across the office under his Flynn's arcade and very quickly also gets launched into the grid where he meets his Flynn's clone, Clu who has taken over the Grid, exiling Flynn to the outer reaches.  So - the plan, get back to the porthole with Dad and a very cute non-human / human isotope being (who is played by Thirteen from House M.D) and defeat Clu in the process.

Whats good about this is if you have not see the original there are a few flashback moments to keep you up to date in relation to who Tron actually is and if he is in this one?, which he is - although sadly, under shroud the whole time.

After about 15 minutes of being in the "real world" at the start and about 5 more at the end the whole movie takes place on the grid - The special effects are awesome - from the lightbikes to the outfits and most impressively, the CGI generated Clu - a 30 year younger version of Bridges that is seamless!! 

This is the most awe inspiring, beautiful movie I have ever seen - the "comedy" comes from Martin Sheen's character Zuse who is a mixture of Louis Spence meets Russell Brand with a touch of Chaplin thrown in and for the few short scenes he is really lightens the movie.

There is only one disappointing thing I can say about this, and I hate to have to say it but it's apparent from before the movie even starts. 

There is a disclaimer!!!

It states, (and I Quote) that most of the film is in 2D due to it being shot mostly in this format and there are only some 3D moments but to keep your glasses on the whole time.

The realistic truth is I could not spot any 3D whatsoever!!! except for one final shot at the very, very end.  This could have been the most breathtaking 3D movie ever conceived - but gratefully, it does not need it - the 2D is completely amazing on its own with the fluorescent space age graphics shimmering across the screen and the lighting of the projector scanning the audience in time with the visuals.

The bikes, jets, discs.even the Formula 1 style dune buggy are amazing and I WANT THEM ALL!!!

There is not a slow, pointless, unimagined or wasteful part of the entire process - from start to finish I was captivated, amused and enthralled.

I don't really want to say this but................Better effects than Avatar?

YES.

I loved it - you will too.

See this if..................................................you want to witness movie perfection.

77, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

I love a good sequel.  Harry Potter & Twilight both conclude next year, Lord of the Rigs is getting "The Hobbit", Tron is going to be a Christmas Smash, Pirates 4 is going to be Awesome and to top it off, Fast & Furious 5 has just released its 1st trailers!!! So why did I not include Narnia in this...........Well this is why.

I just don't get it!!  That's a lie, I DO get it, but I just don't get it.  As a kid I read the first one, Lion Witch & Wardrobe done, but sadly I lost interest with Caspian, The Boat and the Chair. (2,3 & 4)  and that's a real shame because they are great stories but the movies just spoilt it for me.  I never really warmed to the Actors and that is so important. I know they are from the "proper" class and its World War time and they are Kings etc but they just come across as arrogant, snotty, posh wannabes that I just don't like.  So, should for any reason Georgie, Skandar (stupid name), Will, Anna & William read this, I am sorry but you're crap.  The guy who played Caspian however was pretty good, as was the Rat, the Dragon, the Bison and the Lion.  Hmmmm?, so the real people suck (Caspian excluded) and the animated creatures are great.

And with that the penny drops, the special effects are awesome it is just a real shame the cast don't come up to scratch.

So onto the story.  From about 5 minutes in our intrepid Muppet's land in Narnia and come across the Dawn Trader, Caspians ship as they trek across the land defeating evil and bringing peace to Narnia.  However, a spooky green mist is taking over and they need to collect the 7 Swords given to Aslan's 7 Lords and place them on his table to defeat the evil spell.  Plot sorted.

It came across as long and drawn out but to be fair the kids enjoyed it.  We saw it in 2D and there may have been a few moments where the 3D would have looked great but be slightly warned, if you take the under 8's to see this in 3D the Sea Serpent may be a little scary at the end, mine hid her eyes in 2D so beware!!

I am sure that some of you will find this great.  You certainly cant fault the special effects but for me, effects don't cut the mustard if the cast do not fit and in my eyes, this lot are wetter than a sponge at sea.

Sorry Narnia, bored now.  Hollywood listen up..............you should of spent the cash on actually making the sequels to "The Last Airbender" or "The Golden Compass", both sadly yet to be given the sign off for completion.  The good news is Bond 23 is now in pre-production for a 2012 release date.  Who said Sequels were dead?

See this if.........................................You actually care about making C.S Lewis's family more money.

76, The Tourist

There is no denying that Johnny Depp is a bonifide legend.  From early doors as Edward Scissorhands to one of the best character creations of our time Captain Jack Sparrow, with every turn Depp continues to dazzle on screen.

But, Sadly there comes a time in every actors career when the good turns to bad and legendary status gets replaced with has been. 

Luckily for us though.........................This is not that time!!!

Depp is brilliant in this playing our mishap hero Frank,  a Math teacher turn tourist who heads off to Venice for some R&R after losing his wife in a car crash 4 years earlier.  A chance meeting with Angelina Jolie on the long distance train from Paris leads to a great identity thriller where Depp is set up as a gangsters accountant, on the run after stealing over £700 Million Dollars!!  Scotland Yard, The Gangster himself, Interpol and pretty much all of Venice's police force are on the hunt to track down our accountant and get back the stolen money.

But all is not as it appears to be...............

What makes a great thriller is suspense, anticipation, a little twist - or in fact........A massive one!

And this has all of the above.  The cast is fantastic.  Depp already mentioned but Jolie is her usual sexy, sultry self.  Paul Bettany (who happens to be one of my favourite British actors) is great as the Scotland Yard Detective as is his boss, played by Timothy Dalton.  The Gangster / bad guy is played by Steven Berkoff and there is a tiny bit-part from Rufus Sewell which sadly, is too small to count.  There are a few other familiar faces including the Russian bad guy from Indiana Jones 4 who.........surprise surprise, plays another Russian bad guy.

I am kicking myself to announce a plot spoiler on this one...............but I cant.  Even my clue would spill too many beans, but I cant help it.  All I will say is, check movies made in 1995 starring one of the Baldwins and the Artistic Director of the Old Vic and you are on the right line......cryptic enough? Well that's all you are getting.

This is 103 minutes of what is fair to say, not the fastest paced action movie you are ever going to see.  It actually includes one of the slowest movie chases ever captured on film, in boats through Venice at about 7 miles per hour - but even that is good.

And its funny!! Which was a little unexpected and this is mostly down to Depp himself.

After recent disappointments like Skyline & The American this was a refreshing break.  No 3D, No expensive animation, no massive explosions or OTT special effects.  Just a good old fashioned thriller with all the whistles and bows you would want.

See this if...........................................you remember Depp before the Pirate Days.

75, Megamind

Another Animation, Another Kids movie.  Its getting harder to judge these just on appearance as there is no denying that pretty much everything falling out of Hollywood right now looks great when it comes to modern animation so lets instead, take a look at the cast.

Ferrell, Fey, Pitt & Hill.  All 4 are absolutely fantastic in this.  The script is brilliant.  It's well written and beautifully delivered.  Hysterically funny with Ferrell taking all of the best one liners and Brad Pitt, albeit he could easily have done his lines in a single lunch break pretty much sends himself up here and is a great cameo.

The plot sees our super villain head out of his home galaxy as a baby after his and the neighbouring planet get sucked into a black hole.  At the same time, another family have the same idea, also launching their son into Earth's orbit and after years spent together in school, battle lines are drawn and our team favourite, Megamind ends up the villain to Pitt's over cheesy Metroman.  What then plays out is (unbeknown to us at the time) Metroman becomes tired of being the hero so works it in his favour to lose a battle, opening the way for Megamind to take over!!  With no Hero to defeat life soon becomes boring for our villain so he sets about creating his own one but this quickly backfires when "Titan" realises that good guys finish last and switches to the dark side, leaving Megmind no choice but to turn his attentions to saving the day, and the girl.

Right, that's the plot so I hope I did not give too much away.  This is a very funny movie and great for both kids and adults alike - I was quite impressed with the 3D effects in comparison to others seen recently but I am sure it would have been just as good without them.

Finally though, I have to just mention that as we all did with Jessica Rabbit, you have to admire how great Tina Fey's Character looks.  I don't care what you say.  She is proper cute!!!

Great Film, Great laughs.

See this if...........................................You have ever felt like the underdog should win (at least sometimes!)

74, Monsters

Let's face it.  Times are changing.  Gone are the days when Aliens did not stand a chance against the might of the U.S.  All it took was a smart scientist and a renegade pilot to upload a virus into a Mother ship or a single white female to bring down a face hugging race of acid bleeding critters.  Without Arnie around to beat the crap out of Ruud Gullit looking acrobatic bounty hunters or in fact something as simple as a hockey stick to scare those Aliens in the Attic what chance do we have?

And that's the point.  Gone are the good old movie days where we actually WOULD stand a chance against an invasion.  Now its all about just how devastating an attack would be, and indeed, how brutal the aftermath would be.

So if you are planning on seeing this film, don't read on - I am about to spoil it for you.

Since "Skyline" my faith in a good Alien / Monster movie making it back on the big screen has disappeared faster than the chance of seeing Clooney star in "The American 2".  But whats most annoying about this one in particular is the title.  Monsters?  Where? to be honest - Jaws set the trend.  74 minutes until the title role actually made a proper appearance and the sad fact is that this one goes one step further.  I would say it takes pretty much 98% of the film until a fully fledged "actual" sighting happens, not just in background shots of CCTV & Camcorder footage and then its over without any form of battle - and it ends!!!

So disappointing.  So what is this film actually about? Well, its more the trek across the "infected zone" that this film focuses on rather than the actual encounters.  The film starts 6 years after the first Alien landings and most of Mexico & South America is cordoned off from residential population.  So, we have 2 individuals who after losing a passport (and that takes about half the film just to get to that bit) end up having to trek across land to get the America rather than taking the last £5k per ticket Ferry. 

The whole film is based on anticipation of Alien intervention, rather than actual intervention and when you are expecting monsters from start to finish it get a little tedious and quite boring very early on.

As far as the actors go, these two are quite good.  A Sarah Harding look alike and a nerdy photographer are well suited together, both in troubled relationships it again is a shame that it takes until the final scene to finally get it on, but as with the Aliens you could happily watch the last 10 minutes alone and understand the whole plot.

Slow, Unimpressed and Dull.

The one shining light in all of this was just as the credits roled I bumped into an old school mate who I have not seen in 15 years.  So Aaron, this one is for you.  See you on X-box / Facebook - very soon!!

And for all my readers on X-box live - I am "The Stig 1976"  See you on-line.

See this if..................you like your Monster movies, without Monsters!!!

73, Unstoppable

What makes a great movie?.  The suspense of not knowing whats around the corner? the nail biting action that has you sitting on the end of your seat? The sweaty palms that occur not even 20 minutes into a story?.............A Train?.

Well, Unstoppable has all of this and approximately 1000 tonnes more!!!

After the disappointing "American" I wanted my faith renewed in the cinema....and quickly! 

Feeling I had wasted two hours of my life watching Clooney plod aimlessly through an Italian village I was hoping that the legend that is Denzel would captivate me in a way, unheard of since...I don't know.......time began?

So what makes this movie so great.  After all, it is only about a runaway train.  Well, in my eyes its the way that it makes 30 miles an hour seem like 100!! and the logic and thought process into how do you actually stop a missile the size of the Chrysler building heading through rural America, uncontrollably on rails?

Based on true events (and honestly, most of the best suspense thrillers are..........just take Harry Potter!!) this story starts almost immediately when a slightly idle rail worker takes a quick shortcut with a safety protocol resulting in a 1/2 mile long freight train, carrying lethal toxic chemicals careering its way along about 80 miles of track which can only result in total devastation unless the combined forces of the local communities and train company employees can bring it to a halt.

Our two heroes, Washington & Pine are two unlikely matched rail workers, paired up on their first outing together when they end up on a collision course with the runaway train and between them have to settle their differences and stand together and bring down the locomotive, albeit initially without the support of the governing board of Directors.

The plot is simple, stop the train.  But there is just something about this movie that draws you in from the 1st five minutes and it does not let up throughout its entirety.  I don't know if its the brilliantly cast duo of Denzel Washington and Chris Pine as the old dog and rookie wannabe that make this movie so special but I can promise you that I had sweaty palms, baited breath and a sense of anxiety as I was thrown into this high speed action flick.  Take "Speed" with Sandra Bullock and ramp up the anticipation and thrills and you are getting close to what this film delivers.

It's Awesome, so much so that I am using this current wave of good vibes and heading off again tonight for an 2nd helping of movie magic with Monsters, and if it is half as good as this one, I wont be left disappointed!!

See this if............................You are happy gnawing off all of your fingernails!!!

72, The American

Sometimes it's nice to catch a real gem. A movie that sneaks into the cinema under the radar allowing the cover and hype of a recent blockbuster to shield its popularity. A tiny treat that captivates the small audience that braved the frost to watch something other than Harry Potter and revel in wonderment at a cinematic masterpiece that really should be given more praise than it has...............

Sadly, The American is not this film. in fact, it could not be further from it!!!

I could not have been more disappointed. Photographer turned Movie Director Anton Corbijn takes a break from Metallica, Depeche Mode & U2 Documentaries and teams up with Clooney (who produces) to make a movie about an American Assassin.

An A-List name and beautiful location, this film should have had future classic written all over it. There is no denying that Clooney is smoother than Sinatra in Chiffon and Oceans 11 & 13 are two of my favourite movies (Oceans 12 took a beating in my opinion) but this film would have looked more in place with subtitles.

It had "foreign film" written all over it and the atmospheric moments of silence between screen shots were too lengthy and drawn out. Add to this that nothing really happened. AT ALL!!

American Assassin moves to Italy to lie low. Is hired to make a gun for another assassin that turns out to be for his own execution. That's it. Plot over. Add in some hot naked Italian Prostitute and a righteous catholic priest and other than a few cafe owners that's the cast covered!!!

It was slow and laborious. It did not pick up pace at any time apart from a few sexy scenes where our Italian hooker / girlfriend goes full nude but other than that. Nothing to write home about.

But there are always two sides to every opinion and if foreign cinema is your thing then this might go down quite well. Very arty & atmospheric, the silences draw attention to the cinematography which given the Directors background is understandable. The script is well written, Clooney is his normally sultry self, albeit looking a little rough around the edges and there is no denying that the girls are hot.

So if this is your cup of tea then accept my apologies and please, knock yourself out.

But if you prefer your "Clooney" when he is mixed in with a bit of Pitt & Damon, steer clear.

You have been warned!

See this if...........................You love being underwhelmed!!!

71, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1

Film Number 7 and to be fair - if you have not heard of Harry Potter until now then you don't deserve an explanation.

No one can deny, that love it or hate it, J.K Rowling has captivated an entire generation and its relatives.

From a small child we have watched Radcliffe develop just like his character and who cares if after these 8 movies we never see or hear from them again - stereotypically typecast as Hogwarts students, forever in our memories - they have made enough money from the franchise to remain comfortable for ever - it just would not be right seeing Ron Wesley pop up in M.I5 or Hermione in a college chick flick.

So, Deathly Hallows Part 1. The only film so far that plans to leave nothing out from the books - hence part 1 is nearly 2hrs 30minutes long. And it delivers on everything.

From memory, and I had to check with my own son on this one - we believe nothing has been missed. Previously I have stated I am far from a "book person", but these are the only ones that, as an adult I have actually read cover to cover and enjoyed. I never thought I would hear myself say this...But, the books were better on the previous 6 outings. However, this one captures every angle, story plot & character portrayed in the book. Well done Mr Director.

There is no Hogwarts in this, its all about the Horcruxes and the search to bring down Voldemort.

The time flys by so fast I could not believe it was over so quickly!!! 2hrs 20minutes felt like a brief 90 minute interlude and my M&M's were emptied before I knew it.

I was captivated from start to finish - this is predominantly all set on the run from the overwhelmed Ministry, now infiltrated by the Dark Lord and seeking Potter & Chums to wipe them out - lots of time hiding in tents in the woods and lots of dialogue.

It finished abruptly, slap bang in the middle of the book with 3 Horcruxes left to find and Voldemort discovering the Elder Wand, one of the 3 Deathly Hallows.

Part II is set up so well and I cant wait until next year - its been 9 years since the first movie landed and will only another 6 months until its all done.

7 Books, 10 years worth of movies, 1 Billion in the bank and her own Florida Theme Park. Ms Rowling did what dreams are made of - create a storybook that controlled a decade.

Well done You.

See this if..........................finales make you slightly excited!!!

70, Jackass 3D

I love Jackass - I loved the TV show and the first 2 movies. I don't know why, maybe its the sick toilet humour of it all that just appeals to my darker side or maybe its just the love of laughing at other miss-fortune but either way in my eyes I was expecting alot!!

And I was not disappointed.

I have to honestly admit that I have not laughed out loud with such side splitting vengeance at any film in my entire life EVER!!! It is categorically hilarious - too many stunts to mention from Duck Shoot to Bull Ring Rollerskating & Tazer Alley to Rocky I,II & III. But I have to warn you - 90% of humour is matched with 10% of completely gross stomach churning sickness!!! But even that's funny.

I dare the strongest of you not to experience a gag reflex at stunts like Poo Cocktail Supreme & Sweatsuit Cocktail - and who can forget the Poo volcano!!! Awesome in slow motion and as you can guess - the words "Poo" and "Cocktail" never go well together and when these ones come on just keep in mind who is behind you and hope to god the are not fresh from Mac D's!!!

Do not expect plot or storyline here. Your favourites are back with Knoxville, Steve-O, Chris Pontius, Wee-Man, Preston Lacey, Dave England and the rest of the gang going deeper into the realms of pain and self sacrifice for the joys of the paying public.

My favourite - too many to mention but the one that stands out is Lamborghini tooth Pull - the title says it all - and the Slow Motion is one of the most amazing pieces of film I have ever seen.

Maybe too much gushing on this one - but its worth it. It my level of humour, dealt brilliantly.

Many have copied like Dirty Sanchez and The Dudesons - none equalled - Knoxville Rules...........Jackass forever!!!

See this if.....................you ever laughed at someone falling over - ALOT!!!

69, Skyline

Firstly, I would like to thank all my readers who have supported this blog as it just passes its 1st birthday!!! What started out as a simple facebook link has spread to 9 countries with as many U.S readers as U.K and whats great is its reached China, Korea and Russia along with a host of European destinations. 69 Movies seen in 52 weeks. Some good, some awful but all honestly reviewed and for those that commented and gave feedback, you are welcome. Thank you and long may it continue.

So...............Year 2 begins and I kick off with Skyline.

A massive budget Alien invasion movie which reads like an Independence Day for the new generation. but its lacks an A List cast? no Will Smith in this epic so who is starring in this much hyped movie of epic proportions. Well, for me the only recognisable face was DiNozzo's girlfriend from NCIS and Murry from 90's classic, Clueless.

I know right? nothing special here so maybe the plot would be better. if I said this is a mixture of "Alien" meets "Starship Troopers" meets "War of the Worlds" meets "Independence Day" meets "District 9". Sadly, each of these films is better that this one and I would watch Starship Troopers over an over rather than sit through this one again.

It was just slow, dull and dreary. The alien special effects are good but due to their shear size and power its obvious from early on that Earth dopes not stand a chance. To give it a little credit though the action does start from about the 3rd second of the movie with the Aliens landing, then it back tracks by about 15 hours so we get introduced to the characters. After that it is broken into Days 1,2 & 3. Days 1 & 2 are game on for battles and to be fair this is when it picks up pace a little bit but as for day 3, well not wanting to spoil it for all of you but remember the movie "Knowing", well......... same ending. Sorry.

With the cost of movie tickets now, for 2 people this is £16 badly spent. Take the money and buy the "Back to The Future Trilogy" on Blu-Ray. Much more fun.

so, its a bit disappointing but look on the bright side, on Wednesday I am off to see Jackass 3D and then come next weekend it's Harry Potter time once again so hopefully, 2 awesome blogs coming soon.

Sorry the 1st blog of Year 2 was a bit crap. But they will continue and once again, thank you to everyone for your support.

See this if........................you are blind, deaf and want 2hrs of peace!!!

68, RED

On the surface this movie has it all - Guns, Explosions, CIA Operatives, Helen Mirren packing heat!! The first trailers looked fantastic but yesterday I read an article by the Daily Mirrors movie critic slating it with 2 stars and a dull and dreary review. So, as always do you believe the write, or the hype!!

HYPE!!

It was an awesome movie - Bruce Willis plays the straight talking retired CIA operative who is targeted by a hit squad due to previous black ops missions. The reason he is being hunted and by who is a mystery to start but he soon seeks out some of his old running mates in the form of retirement home veteran Morgan Freeman, slightly paranoid John Malkovich, Gorgeous sniper Helen Mirren & Russian "fix-it" man Brian Cox.

Once all together, along with Bruce Willis' squeeze he picked up in a Kansas call centre (too much to explain how that came about) they set about on a mission to find out who is trying to kill them off and why. What follows is a roller coaster of CIA Vs. RED (Retired, Extremely Dangerous) and you are not sure who is pulling the strings, who is the good guys and if the CIA is working on the right side of the law. Old Good Guys need an Old enemy and Richard Dreyfus steps up and is on fine form.

Its an odd movie though, the plot seems quite padded out between action scenes and for once, Malkovich plays the funny guy! Morgan Freemans appearance is short lived in relation to the rest of the team and Helen Mirren plays sultry sniper better than anyone you could imagine.

That said, even though some bits seem drawn out it is more than covered off with witty one-liners and an A-list that would make any Director proud. It takes a while to get going and until Malkovich turns up its a bit slow but bare with it. RED is a great movie matching a good story with some screen legends and even though Bruce Willis looks like a little Young for the line up, take heed that Malkovich is funny, Freeman is adorable, Cox is smooth & even at 65, Helen Mirren is still hot!

Keep your eyes open for a great cameo from an "Airwolf" legend of 80's TV. Ernest Borgnine as Henry the Records Keeper.

I am going to keep the end of this one under wraps, not giveaways - that would just spoil it.

See this if...........................you disagree with growing old gracefully!!

67, Despicable Me

3D Animation time again!! only this time we missed the 3d show so it was good old fashioned 2d. Question is, were we disappointed?

Of course not!!! Steve Carell in with a funny accent, 3 of the most adorable orphans you could ever meet, a league of hilarious minions & Russell Brand as a disabled old mad professor - whats not funny about that lot!!!

Even without the 3D this is a great family film. I totally left my dignity at the door and "guffawed" with the rest of the crowd as time after time Carell delivered comedic genius worthy of a nod from any self obsessed comedy fan.

The plot is brilliant - the 1st in a string (2 at least) of movies that focus on the villain as the main lead, identifying a softer side of evil and the "hero" being a bit of a tit. But it works. The 3 Orphans are totally lovable and had they been real I think we would have adopted all of them ourselves. Gru is a typical villain and fab with his slightly random plans of global domination but the real heroes are the minions.

Hundreds of tiny yellow walking, talking tic-tacs, each with a combination of 1 or 2 eyes, funky dungarees and thick cut goggles. 3 Actors in total voice all of them and the most notable is Jermaine Clement who recently appeared as Kieran (The Artist) from dinner for Schmucks. Their high pitched voices really make you laugh and its their complete adoration and trust for their master that makes them one of the most lovable set "followers" I have seen in a while - dare I say it.......more appealing than Oompa-Loompas?

There is no real Good Guy vs. Bad guy, more Bad Guy vs. Badder guy as Gru sets about trying to outwit his arch nemesis Vector, son of the evil bank manager who approved loans to fund world domination (only in a comedy!!).

The weapons are awesome, ranging from planet dwarfing shrink rays to freezing customers in the Starbucks queue. He whoops a theme park stand for a cuddly toy and is annoyed that someone beat him to stealing the great pyramid.

Believable???...............come on, its a cartoon!! But one of the funniest in a while.

Carell rocks in this and as a build up to "Megamind" starring comedy legends Ferrell & Pitt (?) - Yes, Brad Pitt.......this is a cracking warm up.

See this if...................You always wanted to know how to win the BIG toys at Thorpe Park!!!

66, Wall Street. Money Never Sleeps

23 Year ago (I know...23!!!) We were introduced to Gordon Gekko. A nasty, greedy Wall Street investor who buys as many people as he did businesses with his obsessive lust for power.

Eventually, after a bit of Daryl Hannah and a small airline company called Blue Star get involved, Gekko gets taken down by Bud Fox (Charlie Sheen) and banged up for insider trading.

Roll onto 2010 (ish). Wall Street 2!!!

So, Gekko gets released and the characters are true to the original story however this time the ex-wife is gone, Rudy (son) has died of a drug overdose and daughter (Winnie) is shacked up with broker Jake Moore (LaBeouf) and has no care for the release of her father.

Lets make it clear from the start. There is no sex, no violence, no guns, explosions or fights. This is an out and out drama based on greed and manipulation. Oliver Stone directs what in my mind is a scripted masterpiece and if you have no care or interest in the plot, don't bother seeing this film.

But has Gekko changed? - 7 years after his release and now a successful author and public seminar speaker, Gekko is contacted by Jake in a bid to get him talking to his daughter but secretly, he goes behind her back, trying to gain favour and advise from Mr Backhander himself. Even I could have told him that Gekko could not be trusted but would he listen? - of course not!!!

Its over 2hrs long but I loved it. Keep your eyes open for a brief appearance from Mr Oliver Stone himself and also a well deserved cameo from Charlie Sheen as the now "loaded" Bud Fox. Its short lived but again, I felt it had to be there, just to keep in line with the first one.

If you have seen the 87' movie then this does roll on very smoothly, keeping the origins alive with the characters and plots. If you have not, then it should not take too long to catch up. I am not going to give anything away, only that everything that you would expect to happen, happens and then some!!

In what could quite easily be Douglas's last movie (barring "Haywire", which is already in pre-production for 2011) I think this is excellent. He acts it with the smooth charm and integrity of the shrewdest of businessmen, lumped in with a taste of revenge for those that put him away and the same greedy edge that made him a formidable opponent as the original Gekko.

If Wall Street was your cup of tea then this just adds sugar!!

See this if..................You love sequels!!! Especially great ones.

65, Life As We Know It

Was not quite sure how to approach this one - I have been moaned at by anonymous Americans on this blog in the past for putting down Miss Heigl in previous posts, labelling her as a poor mans "Cameron Diaz" but in this one she really does shine through.

Paired with my wife's (and her work colleagues...Laura?) new "hottest" crush, Josh Duhamel who apart from Transformers 1,2 & (2011 due) 3 and TV drama "Las Vegas" has done little else in the movie world the unlikely coupling are thrown together when their married best friends name them as guardians to their adorable toddler after their sad departure in a car crash.

Initially hating each other after a botched blind date a few years earlier they soon discover that 1st impressions don't always count as they discover a deeper relationship than "looks" and together discover the joys of parenting.

Okay, stop there a minute. The Joys of Parenting......Bring on the comedy!!!

As a relatively new parent myself, albeit 7 years ago the jokes in this are all too familiar. And that is what makes it hilarious. If you don't have kids its every cliche you could ever imagine when bringing up kids and if you have been there then its not too far from the truth. Its what makes this movie great for everyone. It takes "single playboy" and turns him into doting dad, fancied by gay and straight neighbours alike and josh plays this role brilliantly. Heigl also plays a blinder in this one and in my mind, maybe her best film yet. She is very funny and is the recipient of one of the funniest movie lines I have heard all year.

It takes Three Men and a Baby and brings it bang up to date with the "unprepared parents" but it also identifies the joys of childhood, the fun of the first steps, the nappies, the baby carriers and the sleepless nights.

If you have kids then this will bring back great memories, if you don't, it may easily make you wait just a few more years!!!

Either way, its a great movie.

See this if......................you want a proper good chuckle!!

64, Eat Pray Love

Chick flick time again and this time we head off with the "Pretty Woman" herself, Miss Julia Roberts.

Other than a small(ish) part in "Valentines Day" its been almost 2 years since Julia graced our screens in Duplicity and does she look older? haggard? past it?..................not a chance!!!

Julia still carries of leading lady amazingly well, its just in my eyes its a shame that she was leading such a turd of a film.

This film is about a woman who after a getting divorced decides to "find" herself with a 1 year trip taking in Italy, India & Bali. A journalist / writer by trade, she finds her self at the start of the film visiting Bali and a wise medicine man who predicts the outcome of her life, a long & short marriage (at the time she does not know which one she is currently in!!) some time to rediscover herself and then a return to him where he will teach her everything he knows. At the time Liz (Julia) laughs it off but after her return to normal life things start to play out as predicted and the journey begins..............

EAT.
The eat part of this film is in Italy. Great friends, great food and wine and a disregard for her increasing jean size. Along with a tight group of friends she spends a few months totally chilling out and realising that life has no troubles or strife's and the words "Party On" ring true with every turn she takes.

PRAY.
Pray means heading off to India, a voyage of discovery and medial work for no money to come to terms with ones own being.

LOVE.
Back to Bali and a return to the Medicine Man who, as promised teaches her all he knows, Of course, roll on love interest which sees the rest of the film out.

So, why is it crap? - The story is a good one but it is SO SLOWWWWW!!! she plods from country to country and you end up twitching and yawning before she even leaves Italy!!!

That's not to say its not well acted or even beautifully set, it is, but the problem is that chick flick or not, even the chicks were bored!! mine was. There were two walk outs, a dodgy cough and a few smelly oldies in front of us and that made it seem even more arduous then just having to keep your concentration levels on the screen.

I wanted to love this - I like a good action 3d blow em-up as much as the next man but even I like a good kick back and smile film. Its a shame this was not it.

Don't quote me but I think this is based on the true memoirs of Liz Gilbert, although its been adapted/written by Sony for the cinema. If it was a true story and Liz Gilbert does exist I would ask her one question. Next time, just do the LOVE bit, head to Bali and stay there - her house on the beach was AWESOME!!!

Please don't see this - Julia's got enough cash in the bank. I am sure she will understand.

See this if..........................EAT PRAY SLEEEEPPPP!!

63, The Town

IMDB states that this is Afflecks third time out as a Director but nothing stood out to me as anything that required heaped praise..........until now!!

Ben Affleck co-wrote, stars and directs "The Town" which is a movie set in the district of Charlestown, Boston. Home of more bank robbers than anywhere else in the USA.

Affleck plays the son of a convicted criminal who, with his own crew are responsible for a number of high profile robberies resulting in the kidnapping of a beautiful bank manager.

Quick flash forward, Affleck falls for the hostage and they hook up (obviously she has no idea) and he decided to get out of the game, much to the displeasure of one of his partners in crime, James (Jeremy Renner from Hurt Locker fame).

What plays out is a totally gripping suspense drama surrounding the "will he/wont he" battle between love and honour, deception and greed and results in a few make or break decisions which end up probably for the best, for everyone concerned!! But I'm not going to tell you what.

In my mind, Affleck has always been the not so hard, hardman. Always appearing a little too softly spoken for real gritty roles but in this one there is no question, he is ace.

It's well written, greatly acted by everyone and includes memorable performances from Renner, Pete Postlethwaite as the Florist and the lead FBI Agent Jon Hamm is brilliant - finally and FBI agent who actually is not a complete muppet and part of you wants him to catch Affleck!!!

This is a 15 cert and only really because of the language and some basic sex scenes but on the whole, hugely enjoyable and well worth a watch. A nice break from the 3d phenomenon currently sweeping the nation with The Hole 3d, Piranha & Resi Evil. This is a good old fashioned cops and robbers drama with some great lines, great actors and a great plot.

Rain or shine, take yourself down to the cinema and check this one out.

See this if....................Cops & Robbers rule!!!

62, The Other Guys

Its comedy time! and who better than legendary Will Ferrell to lead the way with this buddy cop movie turned action fuelled giggle fest along side co-star "Marky" Mark Whalberg..................

Sorry, nearly forgot myself there - was hoping that the BBC were reading and were planning on asking me to replace Connie Huck on Film 2010. Where was I?

But really, this has all the expectations of a great film. The Rock, Samuel L. Jackson & Mark Whalberg. Three Action greats teaming up with Farrell for what is a geeky cop movie where zero turns hero in the most unexpected way.

What's great about this film is (flashback) Steven Segal received top billing for "Executive Decision" but only starred in the first few minutes the same can be said for Johnson & Jackson. Their brief parts are hilariously received and their convenient demise opens the door for two, not so well received heroes to take centre stage.

Ferrell is back to his sarcastic best in this with Whalberg as the slightly moody recipient of his dry wit and distinct anal approach to police work. Ferrell is the admin loving, data analysing, accounting department mis-fit who is paired up with fiery wannabe action man Whalberg, busted down to office duty after accidentally shooting one of the city's finest baseball players.

Ferrell falls upon a case regarding illegal scaffolding permits which quickly opens up into a global fraud campaign for £37 Billion Dollars. It is down to our two cops to defeat the bad guys, gain the trust and belief of their department & captain (Michael Keaton) and save the day.

Every actor in this is played amazingly. Keaton is great as the department police captain, holding down 2 jobs as a cop / bathroom salesman funding his transsexual sons conquests & Eva Mendes is cracking as Ferrell's completely understanding, loyal, sexy wife (much to the disbelief of Whalberg). Even Johnson & Jackson manage to pull off "arrogant asshole" with a fabulous flair!! Steve Coogan stars as the money man heading the fraud and his surrounding heavy's are the only sore point - just a little bit slow!

Comedy comes in many forms. Farts and Falls get some people roaring in the isles but its the little witty sidelines in this that get the real laughs - keep an eye out for all of the T.L.C references, listen out for Ferrell going into too much detail in his cuss comebacks and most importantly, watch Whalberg melt in the presence of Ferrell's current and past female conquests. Very funny.

This film is great. Its got the action and explosions of any up to date cop action film thrown together with the laughs of, dare I say it, Anchorman?

Those more astute will easily pick up the legendary Ice-T as the narrator and if you stay right to the very end...........and I mean the very very end, past the end credits and music then there is a small, reasonably good joke/outtake between Ferrell and Whalberg regarding a Moose - but to be honest, if by this time you are busting for the loo and cant hold on, call me and I'll tell you in person. it's not that funny.

Great Film, Ferrell back on top form. Love this.

See this if......................Secretly, you're an un-sung hero!!

61, Resident Evil: Afterlife

If my memory serves me right it was about 1996 when Capcom released Resident Evil for the PS1. Since then the franchise has grown to include game sequels and movies which have culminated 14yrs later with the all new 3d version - Resident Evil: Afterlife

The plot has pretty much remained the same from day one. The "Umbrella" corporation is responsible for releasing a virus that pretty much turns everyone into a mind numbingly stupid Zombie's, hell bent on chomping down on any human pockets left fighting for survival. Then we meet Alice. A Supermodel / Zombie bashing heroine who, without much urgency or care seems to take out the living dead with considerable ease.

Over the course of a 3 other movies (I think), Alice goes through transformations of her own resulting in the beginning of Afterlife, appearing as a cloned, bulletproof "Kill Bill" style samurai but early on she gets a rude awakening and a retro-virus jab making her human again.

Then one thing becomes clearly apparent - This film is all about the 3D.

This film was made for 3D in every way. There are more slow-motion fight sequences than in all 3 Matrix films combined and each one is full of 3D baddies, 3D guns, 3D bullets, 3D broken glass, 3D weird Zombie Face sucking wotsits & a 3D, 9ft masked warlord with a stupidly big Axe / butchers mallet. Oh, and did I mention its in 3D?

Okay, I know I am taking the piss a bit but it works!!! DO NOT SEE THIS FILM IN 2D! and that's an order - the entire point and claim of this movie is the 3D element and I feel that without it, on standard DVD the "WOW" factor will be lost and it will just be 90 minutes of slow motion fighting and hot zombie slayers.

Alice (Milla Jovovich) is joined by a few familiar faces this time, namely Mr "Prison Break" and Miss "Heroes" (not the cheerleader, the other one) and for their part the acting is pretty good.

The plot this time is escaping a zombie laden Tokyo to find a hidden city that claims to be virus free. Once Alice has single handedly destroyed much of Tokyo but sadly let the bad guy escape. She hears the distress message stating that there is a "safe city" and quickly heads to Alaska to find it but on arrival its not there. She then meets up with Claire (Ali Larter) who knew her previously but due to a metal beetle thingy strapped to her chest has full blown memory loss. The pair of them manage to hijack a two seated light aircraft and fly down to L.A in search of the city where they meet up with another bunch of survivors which include Claire's brother (who she of course does not recognise) held up in an L.A prison surrounded by about 10,000 blood thirsty zombies. Lots of guns, explosions and zombie crushing then takes up the last 40 minutes of the movie as our team discover the "safe city" is actually an tanker ship just off the coast and they set out to reach it.

Its Soooooooooo predictable and had it not have been in 3D it would have been a bit slow and pants but the 3D alone is enough to keep you entertained throughout and if you are one of the 1 in 10 people that cant see the 3D effects (how sad!) then there are enough hotties in this to keep Hugh Hefner entertained.

The cinema was full, its only a 15 cert and although a few jumpy bits I would not consider this a scary movie. It's Funny in places but unfortunately not all the acting is first class.

See this film if.................................Your tired of disappointing 3D movies

60, Tamara Drewe

The trailers on this film are all about one person, Gemma Arterton. So it would be only fair to start off with a bit about her.

Quantum of Solace, Clash of the Titans, Prince of Persia. Our Gem has starred in some big budget American action flicks and it has to be said, improved with each one. Take out the two "St Trinian's" movies and "The Boat that Rocked" and its back to her roots and a small budget BBC produced film, funded by the National Lottery to get her first leading role.

And it could not be more British if it tried.

Set in Dorset, this film tracks the return of Tamara Drewe, a local girl turned London Journalist who returns to the family pile after the death of her mother. Spending her childhood with, lets say - a massive nose, this ugly duckling has returned in hotter than hot pants, a nose job and a flair for mischief as she sets about raising temperatures and renovating her Mum's old pad for re-sale.

Predominantly set in a Writers retreat, a collection of wannabe authors led by a bestselling owner and his family pave the way for a Brit rom-com where we get Rockstars & Handymen thrown together with depressive Americans and sex mad school girls.

Sadly, its just not that funny. Don't get me wrong - it not crap, just not that funny. It's a good, believable story....even though there are a few moments where you really get a feel of "I wasn't expecting that!!" but on the whole its a reasonably good film. It plods along for a bit not really getting going and it will never really set the Oscars alight but its a good Sunday afternoon sit down.

There is one shining light, and its not Arterton's wardrobe.

It's 18 year old Jessica Barden who plays Josie. Two years since she starred in Coronation Street and not having a single role since 2008, Jessica plays Josie. A 16 year old kid who, with her mate, seems to be one of the only two kids in the whole village who live in their School uniforms and between swigging Red wine, Swearing and throwing eggs at cars has an unhealthy "urge" for Tamara's Rock Star boyfriend.

She is hilarious.

Every line had me in stitches. From using the "F" word as candidly as an Eskimo goes ice fishing to breaking & entering with the ease of the Milk Tray Man this girl is absolutely brilliant. Well played Jessica.

So, to sum it up - its not as funny as the newspapers made it out to be, its not as fast paced as you really think it should be but for a small British movie with what should have been "MY" lottery win funding it, its not that bad.

No plot spoilers (as there a few twists) but its a standard, 3 star movie. "If Doc Martin" or "Saving Grace" are your cup of tea - then this will go down a treat.

See this if........................Kids swearing make you chuckle!!!