96, I Am Number 4

Hands up who like superhero moves?...ME!  Hands up who though this was one?...ME

But its definitely not so pay attention!!!

Like you, I watched this trailer and thought that our young hero, previously only really famous for appearing in Storm breakers was some kind of Superman for a new millennium.

In reality, he's on the run from a group of badly tattooed villains from his home planet, seeking asylum on Earth with a warrior / protector and a lizard / puppy / big nasty pit bull monster for company.
(You will see what I mean!)

Plots simple, 1,2 & 3 have been hunted down and killed - Number 4 is next and to gain strength he has to identify his true powers and track down 5,6,7,8 & 9.  In this movie, only Number 4 & 6 turn up (but 6 is pretty hot!) which leaves room for a Police Academy's worth of sequels if they want too!

I wont lie, the first hour is pretty slow - its all about getting to know our hero, getting to know his powers and  jumping from town to town until he meets a girl that makes him want to stay and fight rather than run and hide.

The lead is played by Alex Pettyfur who as mentioned above is relatively unknown but for me it was "Die Hard 4" & "Hitman" legend Timothy Olyphant and the lesser recognisable Kevin Durand (Frank Dukes / Blob from Wolverine / Little John from the new Robin Hood) that steal the A-list limelight.

And Kevin is hilarious as the evil Alien commander.

This film has its chuckles, its sexy chicks and its slightly scary moments allowing it the same 12a Rating given to "The Hole" which in my eyes should have been a 15.

Number 6 (played by Teresa Palmer / Violet from Bedtime Stories) easily matches Pettyfur's male presence for eye candy and we have the expected Nerd, Homecoming King & geeky girl all in tow as well.  Imagine Twilight for the Ferris Bueller Generation?

Although a slow starter the story keeps you interested and entertained as Number 4, aptly given the generic name of John Smith learns his true meaning in life and experiences slight humour in discovering his powers.  Basically, he is hidden from a destroyed planet with the hope of rebuilding it at some point.

Granted, he is no Superman but I really enjoyed this movie and think by leaving it open for a few sequels may spawn a pretty good trilogy - although nothing appears planned so far!!

Its the last 40 minutes when the pace really kicks off and then its non stop action, explosions and awesome fight scenes right up until the credits.  Kevin Durand is awesome as the High Commander (I know, already said that!), seeking out Smith and with the "gill" like nostrils and slightly sarcastic sense of humour, along with not quite getting Earths take on reality he makes for a great baddie.

Maybe not one for the under 13's due to a slightly jumpy ghost train scene, this movie was a little ray of unexpected happiness - a bit of a dark horse and definitely a must see.

See this..............................you believe its not only Marvel & DC who can create Heroes!

95, Paul

To understand this film properly mean understanding the real Pegg & Frost.

They are genuine Sci-Fi geeks who have not only managed to capture what an alien movie is should really be all about but have tipped their cap to a number of front runners before then and if you look carefully, there are plenty of Star Wars references.  Two that immediately spring to mind is the music that the band are playing in the roadhouse - instantly recognisable, and secondly and not so easy to spot is the Han-Solo reference, shooting the intercom after breaking into the death-star - that's in here too.

There are nods also to Star-Trek, Alien and a great E.T conversation with Spielberg - watch out for them - I am sure there are more that I missed!!

And that's the beauty of this - this is not just some random Hollywood studio making an alien comedy - its two genuine sci-fans who have made this movie a true labour of love, aimed specifically at people just like them and its works brilliantly.

As far as plot goes its pretty basic - Two best (British) friends are on a road trip - taking in the Comic-Con (which I would love to go too) and then heading to some alien hot spots, ending in Roswell.

On-route they bump into Paul, a little green man who has been held in a facility for the best part of 60 years - unbeknown to us the government and Hollywood have used him for ideas and merchandise over time but now, with the help of a government mole he has escaped and uses Pegg & Frost to assist in getting him home.

I have recently criticised Seth Rogan as being the same character over and over, a Stoner / Dude who swears and seems to be cast in the same no-brainer role time after time - so surprise surprise when once more he is playing a smoking, weed loving, swear box of a character however this time its a little different - being a 4ft green alien somehow warms you back to Rogan and I am afraid to say that I don't think anyone could have done this any better.  He is funny, witty and loud and the reason this movie was rated a 15 is purely down to the swearing - which is excessive but funny with it.

Pegg & Frost are on fine form but ever since Spaced I am convinced they have not put a foot wrong, definitely together but even on solo exploits with Frost in "The Boat that Rocked" and Pegg in Star-Trek, MI3 and the currently in production MI4 they are my English heroes and I love them dearly!!

There are some great cameos in this though, Jason Bateman and Sigourney Weaver put in cracking, funny performances and Kristen Wiig as the Darwin hating, god loving disbeliever is hilarious.  Jane Lynch from Glee pops up for a few minutes in a role that could only have been written for her and finally, Bill Hader (who is also rumoured for Ghostbusters III next year along with Weaver) is laugh out loud funny as one of the bumbling FBI Agents.

Stay through the credits for some extra giggles but predominately if you love Sci-fi and the comic books that stem from the late 70's onwards then this movie is definately for you.

Play the game - look for the old movie references and make a point of pointing them to your partner when they pop up, most probably to her annoyance as I did!!

Not a bad word.  Great movie.

See this if.......................................................Sci-Fi RULES!!!

94, Gnomeo & Juliet

Possibly the oddest movie I have ever seen, this has taken a Shakespeare classic, already filmed a dozen times and re badged it with Gnomes!!

Actually, the story is pretty true to the original - two warring Neighbours, Capulet and Montague live in Verona Road.  One is a dedicated Red, the other Blue and this is mirrored in their house paint, garden layout and Gnome selection.  So, everyone knows the plot - star crosses lovers etc so basically this is all going to boil down to the cast and animation.

Animation first, its good - Very good.  The 3d is pretty impressive throughout and as I mentioned with Tangled, its going to be very hard nowadays to pass off a poor animated movie.

Plus its very funny - pretty much from the outset.  The comedy comes from Lucas and Jensen as well as the Flamingo, who was the only unrecognisable name for me (although after a bit of research he has voiced more cartoons than you would actually believe and is the voice of many a famous animated creation including Tigger & Pooh, Dick Dastardly, Taz & even Shredder from T.N.M.T!!)

And that leads me onto the rest of the cast list.

Firstly, Elton & David Produce and Executive Produce this movie with what I assume is Elton's production company behind it.  Its riddled with Elton tracks and even a gnome version of the rocket man himself pops up for a quick "Your song" rendition.

Ready, Here goes.............James McAvoy, Emily Blunt, Maggie Smith, Michael Cane, Jason Statham, Matt Lucas, Ashley Jensen, Ozzy Osbourne, Stephen Merchant, Patrick Stewart, Julie Walters, Richard Wilson and Hulk Hogan!!! all I can say is that's a lot of salaries to cover so I hope this goes well!!!

Its a stellar movie, and its actually only 75  minutes long so just as you have worked out who everyone is, its over!! which is not a bad thing - because its so quick it does not feel drawn out and you would expect that with that many names they would have strung it out for maximum effect.  In reality, it takes a classic story, adds in a few comedy characters including a Ninja Juliet!! and makes adults and kids of all ages smile!!

Sometimes its nice to be in and out of a cinema in less than 90 minutes - plenty of the night left, kiddies happy and home in time for NCIS!!

Half Term is coming, its this and/or Yogi Bear so splash out this holiday and take them to see both!!

See this if.........................................Kids are driving you mad!!!

93, True Grit

I have never been a Western kind of movie buff.  I know they have been around since cinema pretty much began and drew some of the biggest audiences but recently its just not been my bag.  I might be wrong here but I think the last Western to hit the big screen was the "3.10 to Yuma" but alas I missed it.  The last one I saw and loved was Tombstone with Kurt Russell and since then either they have not been around or I have just avoided them.

So, how was True Grit going to be, well for a remake of a supposed John Wayne classic I was utterly blown away from start to finish!!

This is a Cohen brothers Movie and captures all of the essence of an old school Western.  There are no signals, (barring the modern cast etc) that this film is not from the classic age.  The un-educated cowboys who are constantly put in their place by an extremely well spoke 14 year old girl who wants to track down her fathers killer.

A Nice and simple plot, a great cast and some on-liners that make you chuckle along merrily that are mixed in with a close up "shooting in the face" and some hacked off fingers.

You have cowboy violence and a jovial road trip all in one place and even for those of you who, like me normally avoided Rawhide as a kid you should be easily impressed with this one.

Jeff Bridges is brilliant - drunkard, eye-patched and moody he speaks in an almost confusing tone with Matt Damon being about as different as you will ever see him.  Josh Brolin is only really in it for a short while towards the end but in this its the performance of Hailee Steinfeld that steals the show.

She is brilliant - holding her own easily against the big names that this movie attracted and doing it with a touch of class.  Hats off to you Steinfeld.  Well played.

This does not necessarily mean I am going to go out and buy as many Westerns on DVD as I can find with a new love of the genre but if another one comes out I certainly wont be too hasty to dismiss it as previously I would have.  An epic.........No, But a good cowboy movie, Yes.

And a far better title than the soon to be released Cowboy's & Aliens!!

Very much approved.

See this if.................................................you ever wanted to be a Cowboy (or Cowgirl!!)

92, Just Go With It

I was slowly getting to the point in my life where all Adam Sandler Movies seem to be the same, over and over again!!

Okay so maybe the locations and leading lady's change but normally he plays a single, rich laid back dude who ends up winning over a mum and her kids etc etc etc, So I was not entirely surprised when this one turned out to be more or less the same thing as above until I realised that this one is actually an extremely laugh out loud funny movie!!!

Rich dude uses a story of a "pretend" wife who beats him as a ploy to get hot girls after a bad marriage encounter.  Sandler then meets a potential match winner and she discovers the "family lie" but wants to hear its over from the non-existent wife.  In launches Aniston as his PA/Receptionist pretends to be the extremely high maintenance ex and mistakenly manages to rope the kids into it as well.

We end up on a huge vacation to Hawaii with a German Dolph Lundgren in tow (the funniest guy in the movie and luckily, not the real Dolph!) an extremely sexy girlfriend, a stunning Aniston who proves you don't need to be 23 to look amazing, 2 hysterical kids and a sensational tongue in cheek cameo from Nicole Kidman sending herself up something chronic.  Add in a "blink and you will miss it" Sean William Scott right at the very end and this is an absolutely side splitting film.

The jokes are old, the girls wear very little and Sandler just does not look "good looking" enough to pull a muscle, let alone the Aniston / Decker combo but its the Kids and the Cousin who steal all the comedy in this one.

The daughter is hilarious as the fake English boarding school kid and Sandler's cousin playing a dodgy German does not get a straight line in the whole charade.

There is no defining moment - it IS predictable but it does not matter, the title says it all.  Leave your brain and logic tucked up in bed, get in the car, go to the cinema and Just go with it!!!

See this if.................................................Rachel was your favourite "Friend"

91, The Fighter

So I am falling a bit behind, sorry.  I only realised this when I got to the cinema and there were 6 releases not yet seen so will try and catch up.  1st - The Fighter.

I did not know what to expect with this one.  Was it going to be "Rocky Returns?" Well, not exactly.

This film is wholly based around a true story focusing on the lives of 2 brothers.

The movie opens with a film crew following around Micky Ward and his older brother Dicky Eklund.  We are led to believe its to track the comeback fight of once local hero Eklund (Bale) who hit the big time once by putting down Sugar Ray Leonard.  In the background is the younger brother (Wahlberg) a two bit fighter who practically is the lap dog to the Mum and 7 sisters of the apocalypse (you will see what I mean).

In reality - HBO are not tracking the comeback fight but the effects of Crack, an addiction that has Bale hooked and relatively overlooked and ignored by his family.

It takes Amy Adams to show Wahlberg that there is bigger and better opportunities out there than dodgy back-hand fights set up by his family and after an all out rumble with police, it takes the incarceration of Bale for Wahlberg to find his true self and start to hit the big time.

So - plot sorted.  Now the characters.

This movie is all about the performances.  They are some of the best I have seen in years.  Initially, Bale comes across as a complete dick.  He is unrecognisable as the crack addict Eklund and the mannerisms, accent and sheer presence is jaw dropping.  Its only right at the very end of the movie, when the credits role and you see a brief interview with the real brothers that everything falls into place - at this time you understand that Bale not only captured the look and attitude of the real Eklund but got it so spot on that you could hardly tell the difference.  Awesome!

Now Amy, again - almost unrecognisable with barely any make up, she stands strong and proud against the warring clan of mother and seven sisters, defending her man and making him see that he is trapped by a close nit family who's focuses are on the lesser talented and drug addicted older brother.  A new side to her and one she does with true presence.

Every one's heart goes out to the dad in this - seeing the truth but too scared to stand up against the female clan!!  He gets his moment of glory and the "escape"  in the van is one of a few laughs this movie gets.

This is a moving true story - one that tugs on the heart strings and is a battle of family vs. career.  Whats right and whats good.  Bale is phenomenal.  Mark Wahlberg, another solid performance.

The only drawback - it must be a British thing but a lot of the dialogue seemed mumbled which was right for the story, location & accents but not so great to listen too.

There has not been a great Boxing movie since Rocky and before you ask, 2 3 4 & 5 don't count!

So, Boxing fan or not - there is very little action in the ring but when it comes - it is filmed in the "TV" style and makes for a great atmosphere - plus, its well shot and captivating but there is so much more to this movie.  This is a story two brothers, a heap of ugly sisters, an understated but still hot Amy Adams and some cameos from the real people involved (the cop/coach is the real guy who trained the real Micky Ward, Mickey O'Keefe!!)

Stay through the credits and it will all make sense.

See this if...................................you want to be inspired!!!

90, Sanctum

There are two types of people in this world.  The first, well they will be the ones who do this - memorised by the beauty of the underworld, dreaming of getting down there and diving, climbing and traversing - feeding their adrenaline fuelled lifestyle and always looking for the next adventure.

Then there is the other kind.  My kind.  The kind who go to the cinema and watch other people diving, climbing and traversing and watch in amazement at the sheer madness of these intrepid adventures.

But, for those armchair wannabe explorers is Sanctum a good way to pass the time?

Hell Yeah!!

I thought this would be yet another disappointing 3D movie with a dull story line - I mean, trapped in a cave? come on - how is that exciting but how wrong could I be!!

The plot is simple, an expedition to the awesome Esa-Ala caves in the south pacific goes horribly wrong when a tropical storm hits, blocking the only way out - the mission, go through uncharted territory to find an alternative route to safety.

And that's it! All through the film you are guessing who is going to get out?, who dies and how? and don't panic, no spoilers here - its just too gripping to give anything away.

As for the 3D - I was completely blown away, its amazing.  The depth of the caverns is truly caught on camera and for me, the best 3D movie yet and probably for a while to come.

Cameron manages to mix jaw dropping action with trouser wetting suspense and you are constantly just expecting something else to happen, which it often does.

For me to watch this just confirms my praise for those intrepid explorers who do this for work and pleasure, you have guts and deserve glory - and I can confirm, there is no way on earth I would put myself in these situation.

Only a few familiar faces in this one but it does not matter an inch - I was hooked and for a James Cameron film to last less than 2hrs - well it get to the action quickly, and does not let up.  Before you know it its over and you wonder where the time went.

I cant praise this any further - Its a great, captivating, beautiful movie with awesome acting, special effects and settings.

See this if..................................you're prepared to have your breath taken away.

89, Tangled

For those of you that read this blog expecting a critical analysis of the movie in question, detailed, precise and accurate then I will apologise in advance.

My own personal preferences on this one are going to be ignored and completely overlooked and if you want a critics review, check out Radio 1.  So what exactly am I going to write?

Well - its a celebration.

This is Disney's 50th full animation picture.  All those years since Steam Boat Willie puffed onto the Silver Screen, Disney have been delighting audiences world  wide - each time leading advancements in animation and technology and here we are, 2011 and Disney's take on the classic story of Rapunzel.

So can I argue the animation? - of course not!! with the competition from Dreamworks & Pixar constantly battling down then door its going to be tough trying to get a movie made that does NOT look awesome!!!

So lets talk the 3D - its really good!!! even the Lanterns might draw a tear from the hardest of you!!

The cast - Brilliant - Disney have once again made a character, this time a chameleon (even without voice!) steal a show with its eyes, emotion and tongue?  As for the voices - look out for a Hellboy (Ron Pearlman) appearance as one of the Stabbington Brothers and the main 3, (all predominantly TV actors) are smooth, funny and........well, Disney!

So for a non-critical blog I am starting to get a little critical!!  Okay, so in my opinion its not as laugh out loud funny as I thought it would be but please don't let that put you off.  Its not for you............its for your kids - and they will love it over and over again.

Disney captures amazing animation, great 3D & toe tapping tunes like it does time after time and the stars of this one are easily the wannabe dreamers (you will know who they are) - even though one does sound very much like Vin Diesel (but alas, its not).  Just picture him in an all singing / all dancing number in the tavern and this alone should put a grin upon your face!

Celebrate February in style - take the kids to see Tangled - Its the first time Rapunzel has made the big screen and the "added" plot lines, inserted to beef out a relatively short tale make this a wonderful family movie.

Definitely go for the 3D - don't be cheap!

See this if...................................Disney ever made you smile!!! at any age. :)

88, Hereafter

Tough one this.  Well, for starters the trailers easily lead you to believe Matt Damon is the lead role and yes, he is the most recognisable but this is a film of 3 parts - and the other 2 leading cast members are just as good, if not better in their performances as Damon.

But first a warning... This is a sad movie, with only a few moments of happiness dotted in between so hankies at the ready.

We start with devastating Tsunami wiping our what could easily be Haiti but is not listed as such - you cant fault the special effects and it is as brilliantly done as it is sad to watch.  This gives us lead Number 1.  A French TV presenter / reporter who survives the onslaught of the wave after having a near death experience.

Then we move to London - 2 twin boys living with their alcoholic mum and constantly pursued by Social Services, these young kids cover for their mum both at home and outside and try everything to help her out - its only after sad event number two takes effect and once again (hankies out) devastation hits their lives and we have our 2nd leading role.

Then its Matt's turn. A Psychic living in San-Fransisco.  Taking a factory job after living the life of a "medium" as he cant face a "life full of death" - much the the disappointment of  his older brother who sees it as a lucrative business rather then a curse that Damon lives with on a daily basis.

The movie follows these three individuals lives until they all end up in London and on a chance day, end up crossing paths - resulting in the answers each of them are looking for.

There is no twist and no underlying "light bulb" moment.  Its just a story of 3 people and the different ways they come to terms with their own life and death situations.

Cram this into 90 minutes and you would have quite a good movie, sadly its nearer the 2hr mark and you really start to feel it dragging along.  so, note to all of you - if you watch this and all 3 are in London - there is not long left!!

The stand out performance is from the kid.  He is absolutely hypnotic and maybe its his own circumstances that make you just want to pick him up and take him home.

Also, F.Y.I - a chunk of this is subtitled, mainly all of the French bits as a majority take place in Paris so be warned.

Weepy? Yes.  Too Long? Yes.  Good overall verdict? Why not!

There a few little smiley moments - the cooking classes are sweet but if any of my "first dates" ever went as bad as Matt's did then its a wonder I actually managed to get married!!

Its emotional movie and one that you should not see if you are feeling slightly tender but other than that - a nice story well told.

Well done Mr Clint Eastwood, nicely Directed.  Only next time, can we have "In the Line of Fire 2" please?

See this if..........................................you fancy a good old cry, even before the end!!

87, Gulliver's Travels

So this isn't the first time this has been tried.  Mainly in TV adaptations the story of Lemuel Gulliver has had both Richard Harris & Ted Danson take the lead but in this new twist for 2010 we meet an up to date Gulliver (Jack Black) who is portrayed as a bit of a loser trying to impress the girl of his dreams (and also senior office manager) by making up stores of travelling the globe and attempts to self promote himself out of the mail room.

He manages (with the help of a little plagiarism) to wangle a trip as a travel writer for the magazine to the Bermuda Triangle, while at the same time impressing the girl of his dreams and bagging a comfy little trip in the process.

Once there, things take a turn for the worse and Black ends up being transported during a massive storm to Lilliput, a land where people are no bigger than your finger and he becomes the hero of this small mystery kingdom after feeding them the same lie's and untruths that he did back in his home city.

However, his plan soon backfires and when faced with an actual "Mr Nasty" a 6in General with a 6ft Robot to back him up, Gulliver is quickly shown to be a true coward and sent to exile.

Its only when his Boss, who ends up setting out to Bermuda herself after uncovering Gulliver's lies ends up in Lilliput as well and after being taken hostage its up to Gulliver has to man-up and for once, be a true hero.

Plot sorted, and don't get me wrong its not a bad movie.  But for me, Jack Black is just not one of my top actors.  The Rock and Roll loving, slightly tubby, down and out nerd he seems to play so many times with the baggy shorts and ill fitting T's is back on the big screen and it just seemed like an all too familiar outing for him.

So, Hopefully there is a shining light that can make up for that and here they are.....

The stellar U.K cast is where its at for me.  Billy Connolly, James Corden, Emily Blunt & Catherine Tate as the Lilliputian royal Family totally steal the show and the humour is second to none.  But even they are overshadowed by one particular character.

General Edward, played brilliantly by I.T Crowd Legend, Chris O'Dowd.

Chris is brilliant as the egotistical, self righteous Edward and is not just funny but ridiculously so.  After other movie appearances such as love struck loser 'Simple Simon' in the "Boat that Rocked" and Blind Swordsman, Marco in Dinner for Schmucks,  O'Dowd proves that you don't necessarily need American A-Lister's to make movies work and he completely owns this one.

Its not an Oscar winner, and sadly again - disappointing 3D but I'm getting used to that now!!

See this if..............................U.K Comedy talent rocks!!! even on the big screen.

86, The Kings Speech

OBVIOUSLY I had to go and watch this movie.  But originally I was not planning on it. 

Why?

Well basically for me, a period drama is about as exciting as crochet class at a W.I meeting!  I could not honestly care what goes on at Downton Abbey and apparently there was a book written once about Pride & Lettuce?

So when I say "Period Dramas" are not my thing I REALLY mean, they are not my thing.

However, something about this one made both me and my wife want to take a look (and her love of period Dramas puts my own hatred to shame!)  So what was it?  Well - read on...

The lure of the dashing Mr Firth doing what he apparently does best? or even the inspiring Helena Bonham Carter playing the Queen Mum, fitter than anyone else had ever dreamed? maybe even a young Princess Margaret played by everyones most loveable child star from Outnumbered!  Or dare I say it, Wormtail portraying Churchill & Guy from Neighbours as the entitled heir to the throne?  The Legendry Gambon playing King George or Geoffrey Rush as Lionel - Friend to Royalty and speech therapist extraordinaire?

Could it be all of the above..............YES!

Everyone in this movie was practically perfect in every way.  You could not fault a single performance, and what really pleased me was the humour!  Its a funny movie!

Amazing.

I was hooked from the start - feeling like I was accompanying the Duke through his journey to the Throne and feeling his every torment with his stammer. 

Everyones funniest bit has to be the barrage of obscenities that reel off Firths tongue as smoothly as silk on a marble floor and it really opens your eyes that in fact - King or no King - everyone needs a few minutes in their life to let rip!!!

The Wallace Simpson story is also brilliantly cast and for me, not actually knowing that much of my own monarchy's history (sorry!) I actually felt amused, educated and pleasantly surprised at how much I embraced this film.

Its not going to be for everyone - but with an open mind and a love of film in all its guises this should strike a chord with most of you.  I hope he nails best Actor at the Oscars - its well deserved. 

Am I converted to Period Dramas? Absolutely NOT!!  There wont be a Kings Speech 2 so no need to go through it again - once was enough and the memory will end happy.

My Sundays are for Top Gear.  Downton Abbey can have its place on the other side.  not bothered!

I have seen the Kings Speech!!  Its an Oscar winner - I am proud to support it and if you are one of the 4000 people that have read this blog over the past 3 months in one of the 9 countries listed - then apologies if this bit of England gushing is too much for you - but what else would you expect?

Love this - Thanks to everyone who told me to see it - you were right!!!

See this if..................................RULE BRITTANIA!!!

85, Morning Glory

I remember catching the back end of this trailer as I hurriedly grabbed a last minute cappuccino from the kiosk and immediately asked about everything I missed - Harrison Ford in a comedy?!? that just does not happen so when Han Solo was set for cinematic humour I had to be first in line.

The story is simple, small-time successful producer (The lovely Rachel McAdam's) is fired due to cutbacks and bags her self a big city job as Exec Producer at flagging Breakfast show, Daybreak.  The crew are a little old hat, the presenters arrogant and on day 1, McAdam's manages to fire the lead male Anchor (Phil from My Family) leaving a bitter Diane Keaton flying solo.

The Channel director, Jeff Goldblum  tells her to get a new male Anchor and she goes after News Legend Mike Pomeroy, (Ford), who is regarded as the 3rd worst person in the world with a history of sincere, front-line reporting and the switch to "chatty" daytime tom foolery proves just too much for him.  McAdam's & Ford end up going head to head on every small detail until dropping ratings means an ultimatum from the top which results in a "do or die" transformation of the show to save their careers, reputation and jobs.

So, That's the plot - and Ford, McAdam's, Goldblum & Keaton are brilliant throughout.  Witty, funny, snappy and sarcastic.  They all gel really well.  A good job, well done.  There has been talk that Ford plays a copy cat of our own national treasure, Adrian Chiles and yes, the show is called the same thing but its purely coincidence.  The films way better!

Sadly, it does seem to take a bit of time to kick off.  Only about half way through do the laughs really start to come thick and fast and this is once McAdam's has changed things.  Then it really gets going - even Ford gets a few witty on-liners.

There a bunch of other well known faces, mainly minor roles but the crew get as many laughs as the leading cast as we see cameramen, weathermen and segment presenters also take part in what results in quite a good film.

Harrison is looking quite old now, much more so than Indiana Jones 4 and with only Cowboys & Aliens penned in for the rest of 2011 hopefully he has finally hung up the whip and gun!

See this if.............................................you're happy with a Slow Burner, but glad when it gets better!

84, Season of the Witch

Sometimes a good old historical romp is well received.  14th Century Knight's, battling for the Church in the Crusades, defeating army after army until one day the killing of innocents becomes too much and Cage & Pearlman decide to go rogue until they are picked 1 month on and rather than face imprisonment & death for desertion they agree to transport a Witch to a monastery for a trial and execution which should rid the land of the plague cursed down upon them.

So, all happy then!  Nic Cage & Ron Pearlman play the comrades in arms who agree to transport the Witch across country only aided by Tommy from "Snatch", a priest and a few others.  Cage is back to his long haired look with his not so funny one-liners and Pearlman is the hit first, speak later character who seems to tag along as a sidekick / body guard.

The Witch herself was quite a good performance, a young girl who keeps you thinking for the first half of the movie if she is good or bad until what I initially though would be a spine chilling, hex cursing, good old fashioned rumble in Ye Olde' World Jungle quickly becomes something quite different indeed.

Sadly, this is a slow paced, disappointing movie that could have been so much better.  As regular readers will know, I try wherever possible not to dish out spoiler alerts but deserves a little 'heads up'.

She's not a Witch.  That does not mean to say she isn't "something" - but alas, not a Witch.

So the real question is, do you want to spend 90 minutes going to see this and work out for yourself if the outdated special effects that would look as at home in "Jason and the Argonauts" as they do in this, 48 years later on is worth your hard earned time and money?

For me, Not so.  I am hoping that Cage's next outing in "Drive Angry" is better than this so heed these words - don't cancel any plans to fit this film into your diary.  If you end up lost, confused and at a Cinema with nothing else to see and its not raining, then go an watch it.  But if the sun is shining - work on your tan instead!!!

See this if......................................................its in Screen 8 - then you can snooze throughout!!

83, The Green Hornet

So, who knows who the Green Hornet was?  if not then let me offer a brief history lesson.

The Green hornet first surfaced in about 1940, then most famously came back in about 1966 (ish) with Bruce Lee starring alongside Van Williams in a program where two crime-fighters evaded crooks and cops alike to become heroes, albeit with out powers.

So, skip forward 40ish years and we have a Hollywood makeover that pits regular stoner / dorky leading man, Seth Rogan alongside newcomer Jay Chou as a rich son of a newspaper mogul who after his dads untimely demise puts aside his partying lifestyle to run the family paper.  Hooking up with ex-mechanic / regular coffee genius Kato his eyes are opened to a world of possibility and the pair of them decide to take on the criminal underworld whilst keeping the police guessing who's side they are on.

So that's the plot - before we cover Rogan & Chou lets look at the rest of the stars - my favourite in this is the brilliantly cast Chudnofsky, the criminal mastermind plays by Christoph Waltz (The amazingly creepy Hanz Lander from Inglorious Bastards)  He is phenomenal.  Cameron Diaz rocks up about half way through as the Temp P/A and Green hornet expert and there is a tiny cameo early on from current "127 Hours" James Franco (but it might not be......uncredited but it looks like him!!)  Eddie furlong appears for about 4 minutes as a crystal meth dealer and the Dad, played by Tom Wilkinson is again, great.

Now the cars!! - sorry but any film that has a Bugatti Veyron deserves a special mention and the Black Beauty is one car that I would have over my dream Lambo Gallardo if offered!!

That leaves 2 people.  Firstly Rogan.  Yes he co-wrote, produced and stars in this but even though he has a self named "fart gun" and lost a load of weight for this one he still comes across as a dick.  Zac & Miri, Superbad, Pineapple Express & Knocked Up cemented his career as the stoner / go-to guy for fat drug jokes and he is still yet to shake this tag-line.  however, the character he plays is a self centered, rich, spoilt brat so this matches him perfectly and once realism sets in you do slowly warm to him in this.  But he is by no means the star of the show.

Kato is excellent.  With homages to Bruce Lee throughout the entire movie that range from hand sketches of the dragon himself to a replica move of the infamous "1-inch punch" Jay has captured in essence the legendary martial performer and to Lee fans - this should appeal greatly.

I was expecting it to a slightly better "all-round" movie and as for the 3D - well that was total pants.  Not even worth commenting any further on.

Kato and Chudnofsky completely steal the show with the Black Beauty & Veyron coming in 3rd and 4th - Diaz is her normal Smokin self in my eyes takes 5th place.  Sadly, Rogan disappointed.  At least he gets a cut as producer and writer so if the movie bombs - he should at least pocket future royalties!!

Overall: (Highs) - quite funny, loads of guns and explosions, great cars and the lovely Diaz.  (Lows) - Rogan.

See this if.......................................Even without the powers - Superheroes float your boat!!

82, The Next 3 Days

So a new Russell Crowe thriller!!! Awesome.  Gladiator, Robin Hood, bring it on - great trailers, action adventure.Cant wait!!!

Only it takes Soooooooooooo long to get going.

I am sorry, I really wanted enjoy this one.  The plot was great in premise.  Loving wife and mother wrongly convicted for Murder, Husband defies the law to break her out and risks everything to get his family back together.

Okay, lets start at the end and work backwards.  The last 1/4 of this movie is fantastic.  Heart pounding action and chase scenes.  The: will they / wont they get away with the kid / without the kid? will his Dad drop them in it? Will he have the nerve to take down a drug dealer for cash? will he think it through? and most importantly - why does the Legendary pairing of Brian Dennehy & Liam Neeson have such minor roles!!!

All good questions and luckily, all get answered, but it is a real shame it takes the other 3/4 of the movie to actually get going.

Crowe we all know but its the "wife" role, played by Elizabeth Banks (Role models / Zac & Miri) who steals this one in my eyes.  Really good performance and perfectly cast.  Sadly, one of my newest, favourite actresses (Olivia Wilde) who after a few years as "Thirteen" in House MD and a recent major role in Tron: Legacy appears but in a really meagre casting - she can do much better than that!!!  Luckily when I speak, Hollywood listen and she is cast in a further 6 movies between now and 2012.  Cant wait!!

I am not going to give away any of this, purely because by the time the action kicks off you are either eating your own toes with boredom or have already made 3 toilet breaks and if anyone was to spoil the surprise at this late stage you might actually wonder why life is worth living!!!  to be honest - the long build up is worth it as the last part does make you sit up and pay attention so here are my words of wisdom.

Don't rush in early, it wont be too busy and the highlight of the trailers is that FINALLY the Gulliver's Travels Orange Ad has moved on and its time for Rio the Parrot to take up the next 3 months of our lives on a weekly basis.

See this if......................................Climaxes are you thing, even if it means a slow build up!! ;-)

81, Love and Other Drugs

Define Rom-Com?  To date, most are more romantic than comedic, hence the tag lines "Chick Flick" when we refer to them.  So wouldn't it be nice get a real Rom-Com that's flips the trend.  a full on Comedy, with romance added in, and a little tragedy?

Well, swap the romance for Nude Sex scenes and increase the tragedy levels by a thousand plus some hilarious jokes and you have described this movie beautifully.

Lets get the tragedy out of the way first.  It really does tug the heart strings and will make the more emotional of you shed a tear, although everyone loves a happy ending so rest assured (spoiler alert.............)

You get one!!

Yes, this film does focus predominantly on the illness suffered by Anne Hathaway's character which really does make you sit up and take note but whats great about this film is it's not all about that, and to be fair, is also one of the funniest comedies I have seen in a while.

Okay, Hathaway regarded as hot?  Well don't forget our "child friendly" actress has been in Hoodwinked, Princess Diaries,  Alice in Wonderland & Valentines Day (to name a few) and we have had to admire her charms from afar......but in all true Hollywood style each actress needs their "Helen Mirren" moment and this is hers. 

Full on, frontal nakedness....and lots of it!! so bear this in mind if you are planning to take your mum to see this!!  but there is also something for the ladies, Gylenhaall also bears most of his flesh too, so everyone's happy!!

Onto the comedy.  This is a laugh out loud funny movie.  Gylenhaall and Gad are responsible for most of the laughs.  Gad, the uglier, fatter younger brother is hysterical in his search for empty sex with beautiful women, a trait wholly adopted by his older sibling.  Oliver Platt is also on top form as the "mentor" sales rep and together, they are like the Three Musketeers gone wrong!!

The plot is a simple one, Single playboy and sales Jedi (Gylenhaal) stops at nothing to bag the sale and 9 times out of 10 this also means having to sleep his way to the top until he meets Hathaway, a Parkinson's sufferer who due to her condition seeks exactly the same thing.  Playing hard to get, Gylenhaal is determined to keep it simple but the humour, sex and beauty of Hathaway draws him into unfamiliar territory and our leading man has to weigh up whats most important in life.

Yes its a sad movie, But to find a movie that is as funny as it is tragic, as saucy as it is meaningful  is a rare treat.

Previously in my eyes Gylenhaal was a good actor but never captivated me as a true presence.  This movie changed my mind - he is awesome, funny and extremely likeable. 
Well played Jake.  Just need Maggie to follow suit now.

Also, and this is the best bit.  I now see Anne Hathaway in a different, better, sexier light.  More please!!!

I cant fault this one bit.  A chick flick for guys?  A Rom-Com that's not too soppy? A movie for all.
(just don't take the parents or kids!!

See this if....................................you want Funny, Sexy, Tragic & Romantic all-in-one.

80, The Way Back

Before I get started, lets state one thing.  If Action, Sex, Explosions, Comedy etc are your thing and you never deviate then this film is definitely not for you.

So whats left? What makes this film great?

Well, to be honest this is an extremely moving true story that really captures your imagination and the thought that it actually happened to a group of near strangers made it even harder to believe - but because it did, and it affected a group of WW2 prisoners in such a way that defies belief makes you sit back in awe of their achievement.

I loved this.

The Gulag, one of the worlds most severe prisons.  Deep in Siberia its the wilderness and desolate location that acts as the guards, not the guns, dogs and watchtowers. 

A group of Polish, American & Russian prisoners devise a way to escape, knowing that they would need to survive the 4000km trek to freedom.

Mark Strong is the brains behind the plan, although not venturing on the trek himself he makes a few inmates believe it can be done.  Its not until the arrival of Janusz, a young Polish guy accused of soviet spying who believes Strong's words and devises an escape. In tow are Colin Farrell, (a Russian career criminal) & Ed Harris (an American patriot), along with a few others who Janusz befriends inside.

Soon after they manage to escape, battling the severe Siberian winter(s) their trek takes them across Russia, Mongolia, into China and then via the Himalayas, onto India.  I checked it on Google Maps - that's a pretty epic journey!!

Along their way they meet a young girl, also on the run and decide to take her along.

Sadly, only 3 make it to India (No plot spoiler - it tells you at the start of the movie) but that does not necessarily mean the rest die - merely go separate ways? but there is some tragedy.  You will have to wait and see who makes it!!

I cant categorise this for you other than that it makes you really think about your own lives and what you would do in this situation.  Battle on for the thought of survival? Stay true to your moral beliefs leaving no man behind? realising that in the face of sincere danger you are stronger as a team?

It's epic.  Amazing scenery, beautiful acting and an truly amazing story.  If Historical or factual movies float your boat then buy a big bag of popcorn, settle down, leave the kids at home and revel in what is a definite future masterpiece.

On a Bank Holiday Tuesday, the cinema was full to capacity for this adventure and there was silence from start to finish.  Captivating, inspiring and beyond belief.

To those Gulag inmates of the 40's, I salute you.  Brave souls in the harshest conditions.

See this if...................................you believe cinema is more than guns and bombs!!

79, Meet the Parents: Little Fockers

When I first saw the trailers for this 3rd installment I thought it might have gone one movie too far.  It looked cheesy, over acted and a poor attempt to grasp the few remaining jokes that might of been missed previously with the over used one-liner of linking "Focker" to every imaginable everyday sentence. 

Growing very old!! 

However, I was pleased to find that the film makers managed to make me chuckle more to myself in this one than the other two combined.

Hopefully everyone knows the characters by now, Ben Stiller plays Gaylord Focker, a name much ridiculed by his wife's family and friends, mainly DeNiro.  A good few years has now passed from the the 2nd outing with young kids in tow and our hero, Gay (Greg) now heading up the nursing division of the local hospital.  Byrnes (DeNiro) suffers a minor heart attack and survives unbeknown to his wife and daughter. 
He relies on Greg not to spill the beans but asks him to take over running the "Family" to which Greg takes on will full Mafia gusto - highly amusing.

The star of this one though is Jessica Alba who plays the brilliantly named Andi Garcia, a medicinal drugs rep who is focused on bagging both Greg's endorsement on a new drug as well as the big guy himself.

As seems to be with the other two two movies all seems to start off fine, then Greg messes up and has to win back the affections of those he loves - in this one though his doting wife has his back the whole time and its Alba who is warned off as our loving husband and father stays true to his "Focker" roots. 

Streisand & Hoffman once again rock up as Greg's Parents with show stopping excellence and Owen Wilson excels himself as Kevin, the ex-boyfriend that every new boyfriend fears and is hilarious, even richer and more freaked out than the first one!!!

I think I was expecting too little in the way of new jokes and humour but it was the opposite, they managed to further develop the roles of the cast and if anything, made an improvement on the past two movies.

There are some great scenes but even though its aimed at "kids" there a few saucy bits and a lot of sex references that the younger viewer might not be accustomed too.  A lot will go over their heads but my youngest who is now 7, laughed along with the rest of us - albeit she didn't follow that much of it.

I laughed out loud and was pleasantly surprised at the outcome.

Well done Stiller & co.  I applaud you on not screwing it up!

See this if....................................You're bored of Turkey!!!  Merry Xmas xx.

78, Tron: Legacy

Right, Firstly it is very important that you clearly understand exactly what I am about to say because for me, this is a defining comment that I hope I never live to regret.............

This is the Best special Effects film I have Ever Seen!!!!

So, now you are on my level its time to examine that fact a little deeper.

1982.  Tron (1).  For its time, a visionary masterpiece.  However, watching  it back on Sky Movies Classics it looks dated, dull and cheap.  I did try, but sadly had to switch off.  Luckily the story is simple.

Flynn (Bridges) is a computer genius and founder of upstart company Encom, he manages to create "The Grid" and gets warped into it, living in his virtual universe.  The 2nd movie starts a few years after this and one night Flynn disappears after reading his son a bedtime story.

Leap forward about 20ish years and Sam, our "grown up" son is now the major shareholder of Encom although takes no part in the running of this now, global monster.  Always wondering what ever happened to his Dad, Sam stumbles across the office under his Flynn's arcade and very quickly also gets launched into the grid where he meets his Flynn's clone, Clu who has taken over the Grid, exiling Flynn to the outer reaches.  So - the plan, get back to the porthole with Dad and a very cute non-human / human isotope being (who is played by Thirteen from House M.D) and defeat Clu in the process.

Whats good about this is if you have not see the original there are a few flashback moments to keep you up to date in relation to who Tron actually is and if he is in this one?, which he is - although sadly, under shroud the whole time.

After about 15 minutes of being in the "real world" at the start and about 5 more at the end the whole movie takes place on the grid - The special effects are awesome - from the lightbikes to the outfits and most impressively, the CGI generated Clu - a 30 year younger version of Bridges that is seamless!! 

This is the most awe inspiring, beautiful movie I have ever seen - the "comedy" comes from Martin Sheen's character Zuse who is a mixture of Louis Spence meets Russell Brand with a touch of Chaplin thrown in and for the few short scenes he is really lightens the movie.

There is only one disappointing thing I can say about this, and I hate to have to say it but it's apparent from before the movie even starts. 

There is a disclaimer!!!

It states, (and I Quote) that most of the film is in 2D due to it being shot mostly in this format and there are only some 3D moments but to keep your glasses on the whole time.

The realistic truth is I could not spot any 3D whatsoever!!! except for one final shot at the very, very end.  This could have been the most breathtaking 3D movie ever conceived - but gratefully, it does not need it - the 2D is completely amazing on its own with the fluorescent space age graphics shimmering across the screen and the lighting of the projector scanning the audience in time with the visuals.

The bikes, jets, discs.even the Formula 1 style dune buggy are amazing and I WANT THEM ALL!!!

There is not a slow, pointless, unimagined or wasteful part of the entire process - from start to finish I was captivated, amused and enthralled.

I don't really want to say this but................Better effects than Avatar?

YES.

I loved it - you will too.

See this if..................................................you want to witness movie perfection.

77, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

I love a good sequel.  Harry Potter & Twilight both conclude next year, Lord of the Rigs is getting "The Hobbit", Tron is going to be a Christmas Smash, Pirates 4 is going to be Awesome and to top it off, Fast & Furious 5 has just released its 1st trailers!!! So why did I not include Narnia in this...........Well this is why.

I just don't get it!!  That's a lie, I DO get it, but I just don't get it.  As a kid I read the first one, Lion Witch & Wardrobe done, but sadly I lost interest with Caspian, The Boat and the Chair. (2,3 & 4)  and that's a real shame because they are great stories but the movies just spoilt it for me.  I never really warmed to the Actors and that is so important. I know they are from the "proper" class and its World War time and they are Kings etc but they just come across as arrogant, snotty, posh wannabes that I just don't like.  So, should for any reason Georgie, Skandar (stupid name), Will, Anna & William read this, I am sorry but you're crap.  The guy who played Caspian however was pretty good, as was the Rat, the Dragon, the Bison and the Lion.  Hmmmm?, so the real people suck (Caspian excluded) and the animated creatures are great.

And with that the penny drops, the special effects are awesome it is just a real shame the cast don't come up to scratch.

So onto the story.  From about 5 minutes in our intrepid Muppet's land in Narnia and come across the Dawn Trader, Caspians ship as they trek across the land defeating evil and bringing peace to Narnia.  However, a spooky green mist is taking over and they need to collect the 7 Swords given to Aslan's 7 Lords and place them on his table to defeat the evil spell.  Plot sorted.

It came across as long and drawn out but to be fair the kids enjoyed it.  We saw it in 2D and there may have been a few moments where the 3D would have looked great but be slightly warned, if you take the under 8's to see this in 3D the Sea Serpent may be a little scary at the end, mine hid her eyes in 2D so beware!!

I am sure that some of you will find this great.  You certainly cant fault the special effects but for me, effects don't cut the mustard if the cast do not fit and in my eyes, this lot are wetter than a sponge at sea.

Sorry Narnia, bored now.  Hollywood listen up..............you should of spent the cash on actually making the sequels to "The Last Airbender" or "The Golden Compass", both sadly yet to be given the sign off for completion.  The good news is Bond 23 is now in pre-production for a 2012 release date.  Who said Sequels were dead?

See this if.........................................You actually care about making C.S Lewis's family more money.

76, The Tourist

There is no denying that Johnny Depp is a bonifide legend.  From early doors as Edward Scissorhands to one of the best character creations of our time Captain Jack Sparrow, with every turn Depp continues to dazzle on screen.

But, Sadly there comes a time in every actors career when the good turns to bad and legendary status gets replaced with has been. 

Luckily for us though.........................This is not that time!!!

Depp is brilliant in this playing our mishap hero Frank,  a Math teacher turn tourist who heads off to Venice for some R&R after losing his wife in a car crash 4 years earlier.  A chance meeting with Angelina Jolie on the long distance train from Paris leads to a great identity thriller where Depp is set up as a gangsters accountant, on the run after stealing over £700 Million Dollars!!  Scotland Yard, The Gangster himself, Interpol and pretty much all of Venice's police force are on the hunt to track down our accountant and get back the stolen money.

But all is not as it appears to be...............

What makes a great thriller is suspense, anticipation, a little twist - or in fact........A massive one!

And this has all of the above.  The cast is fantastic.  Depp already mentioned but Jolie is her usual sexy, sultry self.  Paul Bettany (who happens to be one of my favourite British actors) is great as the Scotland Yard Detective as is his boss, played by Timothy Dalton.  The Gangster / bad guy is played by Steven Berkoff and there is a tiny bit-part from Rufus Sewell which sadly, is too small to count.  There are a few other familiar faces including the Russian bad guy from Indiana Jones 4 who.........surprise surprise, plays another Russian bad guy.

I am kicking myself to announce a plot spoiler on this one...............but I cant.  Even my clue would spill too many beans, but I cant help it.  All I will say is, check movies made in 1995 starring one of the Baldwins and the Artistic Director of the Old Vic and you are on the right line......cryptic enough? Well that's all you are getting.

This is 103 minutes of what is fair to say, not the fastest paced action movie you are ever going to see.  It actually includes one of the slowest movie chases ever captured on film, in boats through Venice at about 7 miles per hour - but even that is good.

And its funny!! Which was a little unexpected and this is mostly down to Depp himself.

After recent disappointments like Skyline & The American this was a refreshing break.  No 3D, No expensive animation, no massive explosions or OTT special effects.  Just a good old fashioned thriller with all the whistles and bows you would want.

See this if...........................................you remember Depp before the Pirate Days.

75, Megamind

Another Animation, Another Kids movie.  Its getting harder to judge these just on appearance as there is no denying that pretty much everything falling out of Hollywood right now looks great when it comes to modern animation so lets instead, take a look at the cast.

Ferrell, Fey, Pitt & Hill.  All 4 are absolutely fantastic in this.  The script is brilliant.  It's well written and beautifully delivered.  Hysterically funny with Ferrell taking all of the best one liners and Brad Pitt, albeit he could easily have done his lines in a single lunch break pretty much sends himself up here and is a great cameo.

The plot sees our super villain head out of his home galaxy as a baby after his and the neighbouring planet get sucked into a black hole.  At the same time, another family have the same idea, also launching their son into Earth's orbit and after years spent together in school, battle lines are drawn and our team favourite, Megamind ends up the villain to Pitt's over cheesy Metroman.  What then plays out is (unbeknown to us at the time) Metroman becomes tired of being the hero so works it in his favour to lose a battle, opening the way for Megamind to take over!!  With no Hero to defeat life soon becomes boring for our villain so he sets about creating his own one but this quickly backfires when "Titan" realises that good guys finish last and switches to the dark side, leaving Megmind no choice but to turn his attentions to saving the day, and the girl.

Right, that's the plot so I hope I did not give too much away.  This is a very funny movie and great for both kids and adults alike - I was quite impressed with the 3D effects in comparison to others seen recently but I am sure it would have been just as good without them.

Finally though, I have to just mention that as we all did with Jessica Rabbit, you have to admire how great Tina Fey's Character looks.  I don't care what you say.  She is proper cute!!!

Great Film, Great laughs.

See this if...........................................You have ever felt like the underdog should win (at least sometimes!)

74, Monsters

Let's face it.  Times are changing.  Gone are the days when Aliens did not stand a chance against the might of the U.S.  All it took was a smart scientist and a renegade pilot to upload a virus into a Mother ship or a single white female to bring down a face hugging race of acid bleeding critters.  Without Arnie around to beat the crap out of Ruud Gullit looking acrobatic bounty hunters or in fact something as simple as a hockey stick to scare those Aliens in the Attic what chance do we have?

And that's the point.  Gone are the good old movie days where we actually WOULD stand a chance against an invasion.  Now its all about just how devastating an attack would be, and indeed, how brutal the aftermath would be.

So if you are planning on seeing this film, don't read on - I am about to spoil it for you.

Since "Skyline" my faith in a good Alien / Monster movie making it back on the big screen has disappeared faster than the chance of seeing Clooney star in "The American 2".  But whats most annoying about this one in particular is the title.  Monsters?  Where? to be honest - Jaws set the trend.  74 minutes until the title role actually made a proper appearance and the sad fact is that this one goes one step further.  I would say it takes pretty much 98% of the film until a fully fledged "actual" sighting happens, not just in background shots of CCTV & Camcorder footage and then its over without any form of battle - and it ends!!!

So disappointing.  So what is this film actually about? Well, its more the trek across the "infected zone" that this film focuses on rather than the actual encounters.  The film starts 6 years after the first Alien landings and most of Mexico & South America is cordoned off from residential population.  So, we have 2 individuals who after losing a passport (and that takes about half the film just to get to that bit) end up having to trek across land to get the America rather than taking the last £5k per ticket Ferry. 

The whole film is based on anticipation of Alien intervention, rather than actual intervention and when you are expecting monsters from start to finish it get a little tedious and quite boring very early on.

As far as the actors go, these two are quite good.  A Sarah Harding look alike and a nerdy photographer are well suited together, both in troubled relationships it again is a shame that it takes until the final scene to finally get it on, but as with the Aliens you could happily watch the last 10 minutes alone and understand the whole plot.

Slow, Unimpressed and Dull.

The one shining light in all of this was just as the credits roled I bumped into an old school mate who I have not seen in 15 years.  So Aaron, this one is for you.  See you on X-box / Facebook - very soon!!

And for all my readers on X-box live - I am "The Stig 1976"  See you on-line.

See this if..................you like your Monster movies, without Monsters!!!

73, Unstoppable

What makes a great movie?.  The suspense of not knowing whats around the corner? the nail biting action that has you sitting on the end of your seat? The sweaty palms that occur not even 20 minutes into a story?.............A Train?.

Well, Unstoppable has all of this and approximately 1000 tonnes more!!!

After the disappointing "American" I wanted my faith renewed in the cinema....and quickly! 

Feeling I had wasted two hours of my life watching Clooney plod aimlessly through an Italian village I was hoping that the legend that is Denzel would captivate me in a way, unheard of since...I don't know.......time began?

So what makes this movie so great.  After all, it is only about a runaway train.  Well, in my eyes its the way that it makes 30 miles an hour seem like 100!! and the logic and thought process into how do you actually stop a missile the size of the Chrysler building heading through rural America, uncontrollably on rails?

Based on true events (and honestly, most of the best suspense thrillers are..........just take Harry Potter!!) this story starts almost immediately when a slightly idle rail worker takes a quick shortcut with a safety protocol resulting in a 1/2 mile long freight train, carrying lethal toxic chemicals careering its way along about 80 miles of track which can only result in total devastation unless the combined forces of the local communities and train company employees can bring it to a halt.

Our two heroes, Washington & Pine are two unlikely matched rail workers, paired up on their first outing together when they end up on a collision course with the runaway train and between them have to settle their differences and stand together and bring down the locomotive, albeit initially without the support of the governing board of Directors.

The plot is simple, stop the train.  But there is just something about this movie that draws you in from the 1st five minutes and it does not let up throughout its entirety.  I don't know if its the brilliantly cast duo of Denzel Washington and Chris Pine as the old dog and rookie wannabe that make this movie so special but I can promise you that I had sweaty palms, baited breath and a sense of anxiety as I was thrown into this high speed action flick.  Take "Speed" with Sandra Bullock and ramp up the anticipation and thrills and you are getting close to what this film delivers.

It's Awesome, so much so that I am using this current wave of good vibes and heading off again tonight for an 2nd helping of movie magic with Monsters, and if it is half as good as this one, I wont be left disappointed!!

See this if............................You are happy gnawing off all of your fingernails!!!

72, The American

Sometimes it's nice to catch a real gem. A movie that sneaks into the cinema under the radar allowing the cover and hype of a recent blockbuster to shield its popularity. A tiny treat that captivates the small audience that braved the frost to watch something other than Harry Potter and revel in wonderment at a cinematic masterpiece that really should be given more praise than it has...............

Sadly, The American is not this film. in fact, it could not be further from it!!!

I could not have been more disappointed. Photographer turned Movie Director Anton Corbijn takes a break from Metallica, Depeche Mode & U2 Documentaries and teams up with Clooney (who produces) to make a movie about an American Assassin.

An A-List name and beautiful location, this film should have had future classic written all over it. There is no denying that Clooney is smoother than Sinatra in Chiffon and Oceans 11 & 13 are two of my favourite movies (Oceans 12 took a beating in my opinion) but this film would have looked more in place with subtitles.

It had "foreign film" written all over it and the atmospheric moments of silence between screen shots were too lengthy and drawn out. Add to this that nothing really happened. AT ALL!!

American Assassin moves to Italy to lie low. Is hired to make a gun for another assassin that turns out to be for his own execution. That's it. Plot over. Add in some hot naked Italian Prostitute and a righteous catholic priest and other than a few cafe owners that's the cast covered!!!

It was slow and laborious. It did not pick up pace at any time apart from a few sexy scenes where our Italian hooker / girlfriend goes full nude but other than that. Nothing to write home about.

But there are always two sides to every opinion and if foreign cinema is your thing then this might go down quite well. Very arty & atmospheric, the silences draw attention to the cinematography which given the Directors background is understandable. The script is well written, Clooney is his normally sultry self, albeit looking a little rough around the edges and there is no denying that the girls are hot.

So if this is your cup of tea then accept my apologies and please, knock yourself out.

But if you prefer your "Clooney" when he is mixed in with a bit of Pitt & Damon, steer clear.

You have been warned!

See this if...........................You love being underwhelmed!!!

71, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1

Film Number 7 and to be fair - if you have not heard of Harry Potter until now then you don't deserve an explanation.

No one can deny, that love it or hate it, J.K Rowling has captivated an entire generation and its relatives.

From a small child we have watched Radcliffe develop just like his character and who cares if after these 8 movies we never see or hear from them again - stereotypically typecast as Hogwarts students, forever in our memories - they have made enough money from the franchise to remain comfortable for ever - it just would not be right seeing Ron Wesley pop up in M.I5 or Hermione in a college chick flick.

So, Deathly Hallows Part 1. The only film so far that plans to leave nothing out from the books - hence part 1 is nearly 2hrs 30minutes long. And it delivers on everything.

From memory, and I had to check with my own son on this one - we believe nothing has been missed. Previously I have stated I am far from a "book person", but these are the only ones that, as an adult I have actually read cover to cover and enjoyed. I never thought I would hear myself say this...But, the books were better on the previous 6 outings. However, this one captures every angle, story plot & character portrayed in the book. Well done Mr Director.

There is no Hogwarts in this, its all about the Horcruxes and the search to bring down Voldemort.

The time flys by so fast I could not believe it was over so quickly!!! 2hrs 20minutes felt like a brief 90 minute interlude and my M&M's were emptied before I knew it.

I was captivated from start to finish - this is predominantly all set on the run from the overwhelmed Ministry, now infiltrated by the Dark Lord and seeking Potter & Chums to wipe them out - lots of time hiding in tents in the woods and lots of dialogue.

It finished abruptly, slap bang in the middle of the book with 3 Horcruxes left to find and Voldemort discovering the Elder Wand, one of the 3 Deathly Hallows.

Part II is set up so well and I cant wait until next year - its been 9 years since the first movie landed and will only another 6 months until its all done.

7 Books, 10 years worth of movies, 1 Billion in the bank and her own Florida Theme Park. Ms Rowling did what dreams are made of - create a storybook that controlled a decade.

Well done You.

See this if..........................finales make you slightly excited!!!

70, Jackass 3D

I love Jackass - I loved the TV show and the first 2 movies. I don't know why, maybe its the sick toilet humour of it all that just appeals to my darker side or maybe its just the love of laughing at other miss-fortune but either way in my eyes I was expecting alot!!

And I was not disappointed.

I have to honestly admit that I have not laughed out loud with such side splitting vengeance at any film in my entire life EVER!!! It is categorically hilarious - too many stunts to mention from Duck Shoot to Bull Ring Rollerskating & Tazer Alley to Rocky I,II & III. But I have to warn you - 90% of humour is matched with 10% of completely gross stomach churning sickness!!! But even that's funny.

I dare the strongest of you not to experience a gag reflex at stunts like Poo Cocktail Supreme & Sweatsuit Cocktail - and who can forget the Poo volcano!!! Awesome in slow motion and as you can guess - the words "Poo" and "Cocktail" never go well together and when these ones come on just keep in mind who is behind you and hope to god the are not fresh from Mac D's!!!

Do not expect plot or storyline here. Your favourites are back with Knoxville, Steve-O, Chris Pontius, Wee-Man, Preston Lacey, Dave England and the rest of the gang going deeper into the realms of pain and self sacrifice for the joys of the paying public.

My favourite - too many to mention but the one that stands out is Lamborghini tooth Pull - the title says it all - and the Slow Motion is one of the most amazing pieces of film I have ever seen.

Maybe too much gushing on this one - but its worth it. It my level of humour, dealt brilliantly.

Many have copied like Dirty Sanchez and The Dudesons - none equalled - Knoxville Rules...........Jackass forever!!!

See this if.....................you ever laughed at someone falling over - ALOT!!!

69, Skyline

Firstly, I would like to thank all my readers who have supported this blog as it just passes its 1st birthday!!! What started out as a simple facebook link has spread to 9 countries with as many U.S readers as U.K and whats great is its reached China, Korea and Russia along with a host of European destinations. 69 Movies seen in 52 weeks. Some good, some awful but all honestly reviewed and for those that commented and gave feedback, you are welcome. Thank you and long may it continue.

So...............Year 2 begins and I kick off with Skyline.

A massive budget Alien invasion movie which reads like an Independence Day for the new generation. but its lacks an A List cast? no Will Smith in this epic so who is starring in this much hyped movie of epic proportions. Well, for me the only recognisable face was DiNozzo's girlfriend from NCIS and Murry from 90's classic, Clueless.

I know right? nothing special here so maybe the plot would be better. if I said this is a mixture of "Alien" meets "Starship Troopers" meets "War of the Worlds" meets "Independence Day" meets "District 9". Sadly, each of these films is better that this one and I would watch Starship Troopers over an over rather than sit through this one again.

It was just slow, dull and dreary. The alien special effects are good but due to their shear size and power its obvious from early on that Earth dopes not stand a chance. To give it a little credit though the action does start from about the 3rd second of the movie with the Aliens landing, then it back tracks by about 15 hours so we get introduced to the characters. After that it is broken into Days 1,2 & 3. Days 1 & 2 are game on for battles and to be fair this is when it picks up pace a little bit but as for day 3, well not wanting to spoil it for all of you but remember the movie "Knowing", well......... same ending. Sorry.

With the cost of movie tickets now, for 2 people this is £16 badly spent. Take the money and buy the "Back to The Future Trilogy" on Blu-Ray. Much more fun.

so, its a bit disappointing but look on the bright side, on Wednesday I am off to see Jackass 3D and then come next weekend it's Harry Potter time once again so hopefully, 2 awesome blogs coming soon.

Sorry the 1st blog of Year 2 was a bit crap. But they will continue and once again, thank you to everyone for your support.

See this if........................you are blind, deaf and want 2hrs of peace!!!