125, Green Lantern

There are very few things in this world that annoy me.  Listed easily on one hand they include missing a Grand Prix, bad drivers, negative people, running out of wine and a bad superhero movie.

Oh Dear, Number 5 has struck.  

I so wanted this to come over as a great film.  Being a DC comic the Lantern fits in with Superman, Batman and a host of other lesser known characters that in my eyes are not on the same level as that of competitors Marvel, however with a cast including the brilliant Ryan Reynolds and one of my favourite Brit actors Mark Strong I was secretly hoping that this would be on par with the amazing re-vamp of the Batman movies and set itself apart from some of the others recently released.  Set itself apart it did - but sadly as one not to adorn my DVD cabinet.

I am sure that this will appeal to the die hard fans but it was just a little too "Buck Rogers" for me.  It started off over cheesy and way too sci-fi and I understand that with any 1st timer movie we have to spend time getting to know the character and them coming to reason with their new found powers however this was just too padded out and full of fluff to be captivating.  

I might be missing a trick - for those DC readers who have followed the Lantern this may be exactly what you were expecting and indeed wanting but a big nasty cloud with a face that swallows souls is just not my kind of villain and a ring of power is not really my kind of saviour.

For its faults though - Reynolds is still quite likeable and the supporting cast of Mark Strong and the voices of Geoffrey Rush and Michael Clarke-Duncan as more "alien" lanterns are mildly comedic and there are some mild chuckles throughout.  For me though it just lacked pace and style and is way off the mark of some of the recent Marvel adventures.  One high point though are the powers, being able to "will" anything you wish from the power of the ring from a Tommy gun to a race track was pretty impressive, albeit a little OTT but this is super hero movie - what else would you expect! 

I am left with just one thing.  Throughout the course of this blog, all 126 episodes I have fed back my thoughts  on the introduction and rise of 3D, or Real D as its mostly referred too and time after time I have been disappointed and let down.  So let me just make one thing completely clear.  This is the WORST one yet!  The glasses just made in uncomfortable and I failed to actually identify which parts were in 3D and those that weren’t.  Let down and almost to the point of demanding a £1.50 refund for the 0D effect I would have preferred to spend the cash on the bigger popcorn deal!

So - 3D or not 3D?  Well, Not! Go for the popcorn and coke combo instead!

See this if......................................Bad Hero movies float your boat.

124, Bad Teacher

The trailers for this movie in my eyes made it one of my most anticipated comedies of the year. Diaz playing a badly behaved renegade teacher, abusing the kids and rocking up to work with a hangover and a sole intention to hook a rich hubby to take her away from the strife of everyday life.


Sadly, the trailer nailed all the best bits and what’s left is a pretty lifeless sub-comedy that focuses on Cameron's sole intentions to buy a new set of boobs and bed geeky heartthrob Timberlake who was uninspiring in this compared to his epic performance in Social Network.

I may have got it totally wrong – the surrounding audience certainly laughed a lot more than I did so maybe I went with the wrong intentions – The thing I love about school movies is the kid’s involvement. You can name loads of great examples that range from Kindergarten Cop to The Principle and I just was secretly hoping that they would act on this but it did lack the interaction I was hoping for. There was the pasty kid nicknamed “Twilight”, the fat kid nicknamed “chubbs” and all of the other stereotypical student groups were covered from the boffin with cookies for teacher at the front to the quiet reserved romantics at the back. There just should have been more of them!

Cameron Diaz took her normal turn at being the hottie with a carwash scene dressed in heels, hot pants and a “Daisy Duke” shirt while dads ogled on with awe. J.T plays the uber rich supply teacher who ends up the aim of Diaz’s antics with the quietly confident Gym Teacher Jason Segal playing a happy go lucky staff member, keen on Diaz but unprepared to put on any form of act to get what he wants. What’s great about this movie is how the relationship between these two grows throughout the movie – watching the playground antics of “hitting the girl you fancy” described by many a love struck teen as the best way to attract a female through to the realisation from Diaz that money does not always bring happiness.

The supporting “rest of the staff”, headed up by goodie two shoes teacher Miss Squirrel (Amy Punch) and the nervy confidence lacking Miss Davies (Phyllis Smith) bring a wry smile to the lips with Timberlake’s ginger haired, bespectacled character poking fun at himself with the worst song and dance routine ever conceived – bless!

The Kids deserved a greater standing in this but there is something slightly appealing about a foul mouthed, dirty minded Diaz that does make this movie tolerable so I will end on a positive.

It will get laughs and it will get praise – so for a minor giggle it’s worth a punt.

So and see this if…………………..You need a stop-gap in anticipation for HP7 & Transformers 3

123, Senna

Ayrton Senna was 34 years old when he tragically died at Imola in 1994.

At 34 years old myself I can only imagine what his family and close friends went through over this tragic weekend that also saw Rubens Barrichello luckily escape unscathed from an equally horrific accident and in Saturday qualifying, only 24 hours before Senna's accident the equally tragic death of Roland Ratzenberger (33) in what Murray Walker described as the blackest weekend in motor sport history.

Senna tracks the amazing story of the Brazilian driver Ayrton Senna from his induction to F1 in 1984 for the lower ranked Toleman team before moving to Lotus Renault. It was after joining Maclaren alongside then friend Alain Prost that one of motor sports greatest rivalries began.

10 years and 3 World Championship wins on, Ayrton joined Williams where he tragically lost his life entering the Tamburello curve at Imola, a race eventually won by a young Michael Schumacher but the sport had lost its greatest hero.

Growing up as a kid in the 80's and 90's my childhood was heavily influenced by Formula 1 Racing.  Remembering afternoons with my dad, glued to our TV, listening to Murray Walker and watching motoring legends like Mansell, Senna, Prost & Lauder risking life and limb in cars that bounced, skidded, sparked and sometimes flew around what seemed narrow and dangerous circuits.  The footage was unrecognisably grainy compared to the H.D world we now all live in and you forget how close the racing used to be, week after week.

They say you don't need to be an F1 fan to enjoy this movie but I would definitely say it helps - knowing who Ron Dennis is (almost unrecognisable with hair!), being able to spot young versions of some of today's most recognisable faces and most importantly, having an understanding of the rivalries is something that came across far deeper after watching this that I ever imagined.

What Senna does is open the doors to a world of politics, racing and money and all from the fully archived footage of a man who strived for perfection and success - no matter who he annoys to get there, even the FIA chairman! who comes across like a regular Mr Nasty!

There is no fluff, no acting, no narrative - its all real footage strung together with a haunting soundtrack and the result is a movie that EVERY sport fan should take the time to watch.

I consider myself quite a hardcore movie buff - For example, after watching Bambi I went for a venison burger! but this categorically put a lump in my throat that remained for the whole drive home.  The final footage at Imola not only shows Barrichello's accident and the devastating shots of Ratzenbergers limp body being battered around in his seat but the "on car" footage of Senna as his steering column broke and he careered into the side wall.  Without a broken bone in his body or a cut or bruise found anywhere it was a precise hit to the head from a suspension rod that was enough to end this motoring legends life.

Throughout Senna there is crash footage of some of the most devastating wrecks you would have ever seen - something that no longer happens in today racing championships.  Its meaningful, amazing and heart stopping from start to finish.

The biggest eye opener is the relationship between Senna & Prost.  Racing for McLaren side by side, what started as friendly banter soon turned into an almost hatred and loathing of each other to the point of purpose crash allegations, cheating and an unprecedented look at what went on behind closed doors when the TV cameras stopped but the archive feeds kept rolling.  What stands out here is the raw passion displayed by all the drivers, to a point - something that might of died out (to this level) at the same time as Senna himself.

It was the restrictions and safety procedures put in by Senna's friend and then F1 Doctor that has resulted in Senna & Ratzenbergers deaths being the last that F1 has seen on a track that has only ever claimed 2 lives, both in the same weekend.  10 other tracks have claimed 2 or more deaths - with Silverstone and Brands Hatch both claiming three.  Its easy to forget exactly how many lives the sport has claimed - but with the stats remaining at zero for the past 17, years F1 has managed to keep the glitz, glamour and drama of the big show - without the tragedy.

Is it a movie? Maybe not in the direct sense but as a cinematic masterpiece it cant be missed.

There is no "See this if.............." this time - its in a league of its own and unmatched in any of my other reviews.  A different class deserves a different ending, so........................

DON'T see this if................................................you have no concept of greatness.

122, X-Men: First Class

Prequel time once more and this time we get the 5th movie from the X-Men (including the side story, Wolverine)

Stepping back in time, this story covers the making and rising of Professor X and Magneto from kids, understanding their powers through University and then, in the face of adversity meeting up to work hand in hand with the CIA as an elite Mutant Special Ops outfit against a sole ex Nazi / Mutant with his own band of unique beings.

Lets get my immediate issues out of the way - after watching this I went back and watched "Last Stand" on DVD and immediately noticed some poor inconsistencies from the end of "First Class" and the beginning of "Last Stand".  I wont spoil anything for you but First Class ends with some definitive story lines being set up which are kind of undermined by the 3rd installment.

Then there is Wolverine, Yes he appears and has the best 3 words in the whole movie which could easily have happen as at the end of Wolverine he loses all previous memories and Professor X arrives to save the rescued kids after he takes the bullet so no concerns there.

In First Class there is lifelong association between Raven (Mystique) and Charles X, something quite left out in the other 3 movies and whats good is that a number of characters of "older" age get their early beginnings fully explained, namely Beast & Mystique.  We also meet a few other mutants and the one that passed me by was a brilliant performance by Jason Flyming as Azazel - I would never have guessed!

The story is quite drawn out - its good, don't get me wrong but the movie itself is extremely wordy.  The action scenes are brilliantly done but as most of the movie is about self discovery and training they are staggered few and far between.

Kevin Bacon as the nasty Mr Shaw is quite spine chilling as the Nazi Dr and then later in the movie, reinvented as a dastardly warlord commands quite an on screen presence with his own band of Mutants setting up the scene nicely for Magneto to take over - after a few old grudges are laid to rest.

I was hoping for a bit more action, a few more battles and  bad guys with powers that would rock the multiplex and although there are there (in part) this movie is more an explanation to the battle lines being drawn between good and evil and it does so with script rather than punch.

That does not mean its not a good movie, if like me you are easily drawn into all Marvel & DC movies then as an X-Men fan you cant afford to miss it.  it does what it sets out to do brilliantly and you really get the feeling of where Eric & Charles are coming from and their aspirations behind their own definitions of whats right and wrong.  Like Batman reinvention with a darker, more mysterious and less jovial Batman taking to the screens this could easily set up for a new batch of X-Men remakes but the others are not that bad and a bit more continuity should have been thought through to make it really fit nicely in with 1,2 & 3.

That aside though - look out for Hugh Jackmans cameo and chuckle along as the rest of us did.

First Class?  Well, maybe not on the action stakes but if you want to know how the Beast became a blue hairball, Why Mystique chose not to cover up, how she came to side with Magneto and most importantly how Cerebro was conceived then this answers all your questions.

for Fans its a must and there is still another 40ish years to cover between this and X-Men 1 if they choose to do another prequel sequel?  if that makes sense.

See this if..............................................you want all your questions answered!

121, Kung Fu Panda 2

Count them - its been 12 blogs, Yes 12! since I last covered a kids flick (Rio: 109) so with Half Term upon us it's only fair that I don the "dad" cap and take my two youngest out to watch Jack Black and what can only be described as "the rest of Hollywood!" laying it on thick for the little kiddie-winks.

What can I say! as with ALL of these movies you cant fault the animation, music, blah blah blah as they are all similar in presentation, look ,colour, kiddie friendly factor and likability.

Woe betide the studio that puts out a duff kids film that's all I can say - the bar is set way too high.

So what can we talk about.  Well the cast. It seems that no matter how successful, failing or trying you are as a Hollywood starlet you have to get your name into an animation.

In this one alone there is Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Dustin Hoffman, Gary Oldman, Jackie Chan, Seth Rogan, Lucy Liu, David Cross, James Hong, Michelle Yeoh, Danny McBride, Dennis Haysbert, Victor Garber an EVEN, the Muscles from Brussels himself, Mr Jean Claude Van-Damme!

(Okay, given that maybe two or three of these names are unknown, Google them - they have very familiar faces)

Over half of these names have had recent(ish) leading roles so either they all took a huge pay cut to take part (just to get their name in lights) or the movie is set to break all box office records!!

What's the film like? (worlds shortest review coming up...)  Its okay.

Not as funny as Toy Story 3 but very few movies are - even the real action ones!  for half term its a definite must and one to get out of the way quickly before Cars 2 & Harry Potter take over our lives.

The kids will love it.  for the Adults watching, well two games to play - 1) Just picture Jolie as Tigress, smile and relax & 2) play the "Who's- who" game.  It keeps you guessing the entire movie - then hang around during the credits for the answers, only to realise it does not tell you in the credits!  so you end up checking on IMDB when you get home and go "Oh, I thought it was him!"

Yes readers, on the first day of summer I was once again inside a dimly lit auditorium with a few randoms on preview day - the movie is set for general release on the 10th but with most places having it on for a 4 day half term preview, don't wait until the 10th - there will be far better stuff out then to go and see anyway!

See this if........................................SKAAAADDOOOOOSSSHHH! 

120, The Hangover Part II

I can not describe how much I was looking forward to this movie - I loved the first one - a true blokes movie.  Stag-do, Booze, shenanigans and Mike Tyson - what was not to love.

The sequel however is a little darker.  The language has stepped up a level as has the graphic content and its lucky to get away with the 15 cert its been given.  Alan (Zach) is completely in a different from the start.  Yes, he was always "weird" but this time he is scarily so - quite protective of his beloved wolf pack yet quite sadistic in his methods of self preservation.  He actually starts out quite annoying in this and not the lovable muppet from the first outing but you quickly warm up to him.

As before, Justin Bartha (Doug) manages to miss the whole thing and the action is purely centered around Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis (Phil, Stu & Alan) with the brilliant Mr Chow back for second helpings as this time we are on his home soil.

Take out the heartthrob Cooper for a minute - this one is all about Stu.  This time its his stag-do, fresh from divorcing the awesome Heather Graham he has now found himself with another hottie, this time of oriental decent hence the abroad wedding and as before he also ends up with the brunt of the issues surrounding the "fabled" night out. What this guy gets up to in the space of a few hours would make the biggest party animals among us jealous (well, nearly all of it - there is one bit he can definitely keep to himself!) and he even admits at the end that his "demon within" sometimes needs to get out - and my goodness it does in this one!

The action is faster paced, the language and "items" on display are far more in your face and the debauchery is second to none - all I can say is that its one mental Bangkok ride.

Yes, Mike Tyson is in it again but more as a party piece than he was in the 1st movie - shame - he comes across a bit of a tit (Sorry Mike, If you're reading) and his role in Part 1 was far more required than it was in No.2.

Cooper swoons into the ladies hearts as before with the worlds most understanding wife and the only time he really lifts an eyebrow from the audience is the diner scene, with baby in tow he drops every ones favourite swear word (Yes readers, its back!) and a gasp is heard from the back of the cinema - then a chuckle then a realisation that the Hangover Part II is not going to hold anything back.

Great little cameo from Paul Giamatti but for me its Ken Jeong (Mr Chow) & Ed Helms (Stu) that deserve the credit for this one.

If there is ever a Part III then they will have to stop short of a full blown war to better the events of this night out!

See this if.................................you ever woke up thinking......What?, did I?..........NEVER!!!

119, Blitz

3 things commonly make a great movie.  1, Its got Jason Statham in it.  2, Its set in London & 3, Its not called "Attack the Block".  So - all boxes checked - here we go!!!

Firstly, lets start with the 18 certificate that Blitz has been labeled with.  Not worthy! Yes its got a lot of violence but no sex and not a single actual gory moment, however its funny how the introduction of a single word can send people into a mad frenzy when rating movies.  So, to be specific (but not too much as I know the little kiddies read this) it has got every body's favourite swear word in it - one that only gets banded about in either extreme confrontation or that of a giggling group of friends but definitely not one for polite conversation.  And that in a nutshell is the dilemma of making a movie an 18.  Moving on........

Statham does what he does best.  A gritty London copper, plain clothed and a bit on the edge as the movie opens with him taking a hurling bat to a gang of car thieves outside his apartment / flat.  Then the credits role - so, nice guy? Well.  Yes.  He is not a dirty cop, just likes to dish out punishment to those deserving of it and his softer side comes to light a few times with his slightly odd couping of the new Gay Superintendent, transferred from Posh London to the S.E to head up the criminal unit after the untimely death of his predecessors wife leading to a leave of absence.  Between them they are like Kenneth Williams meets, well - Jason Statham!  but its has his funny moments and Statham dishes out one liners as quick as he does broken noses while keeping it non-cheesy and specific.

With an all British cast its not just Statham that stands out, Zawe Ashton (Bianca in St Trinians 2) is brilliant as an ex-undercover junkie cop who is crying out for love and support and has grown up a hell of a lot since beat boxing in Frittens Dorms!  The other cops and The Blitz himself are also brilliant and mostly are all recognisable from TV dramas.

Its great when this kind of movie comes along.  America hype up cop movies with all action, over the top drama that is well received but not ordinary of maybe an LA freeway or a New York suburb.  We manage to keep all the action and suspense while at the same time make it believable, down to earth and entertaining.

Imagine Bad Boys or Mission impossible on a smaller scale? - They would not work and they don't have too.  They make big budget worth it but this does not need the glitz and glamour of huge names - Statham is a main attraction at the best of times but in this he truly does show his down to earth roots and is backed up brilliantly.

As you can tell, I thoroughly enjoyed this even with the "C" word thrown in a few times and being a cert 18 kept the noisy kids out which left me, My wife and about another 200 movie goers in silent awe as the 90 minutes barrelled past like a freight train to Alaska.

If Pirates 4 left you excited then this a happy "down to earth with a bump" movie and one completely deserving of awesome write ups. I hope you read this Jason - Keep making them and I will keep watching them!

See this if...............................................You're proud to be British (or if American, which I know about 1200 of my readers are, This ones ours!  MI4 is yours)      

118, Pirates of the Caribbean - On Stranger Tides

Instalment number 4.  For those who have started losing count it all began back in 2003 with The Curse of the Black Pearl, then in 06 & 07, Depp had back to back releases with Dead Mans Chest and At Worlds End until we find ourselves in 2011 with Stranger Tides.

There are notable unfamiliarity's, the sad losing of original cast members Bloom & Knightly in my eyes are greatly missed but with Sparrow, Barbossa & Gibbs all in attendance and the great additions of Ian McShane, Penelope Cruz & Stephen Graham as Blackbeard, Angelica & Scrum with a cracking 30 second cameo from Dame Judy. D leads to a pretty impressive cast listing, even without our much missed British double act.

So where are we - well, there is no mention of Bloom & Knightly to start, Barbossa has switched sides to the British Navy and Sparrow is still without the Pearl, taken from Barbossa by Blackbeard.  Sparrow is in London and hears that he is supposed to be collecting a crew to seek for the fountain of youth - an apparent impostor! on investigation he discovers that its old flame Angelica (Cruz) pretending to be the wayward captain, working on behalf of daddy dearest, Blackbeard himself.

Everyone meets up and Blackbeard, The Navy and a gaggle of Spaniards all race to find the fountain of youth by the way of collecting some Goblets and a Mermaids tear.  Sorted - Ahoy me Hearty's!!

I love a good pirate movie - the first three had me in stitches with laughter at Sparrows antics and the colour and settings of the Caribbean always make the dullest, rainiest days seem a joy to behold.  I was a little worried out Knightly's departure - she always bought something demure to being a pirate but Cruz manages to take over quite seamlessly, a pirate from early on she carries the charm and charisma of any of her male compatriots and manages to make a name for herself in this very male environment.

McShane as Blackbeard manages to balance evil with a small touch of mercy brilliantly and has always been destined to play this role - even since the early days as Lovejoy!  Barbossa is his normal craggy self, now minus a leg and Scragg, the new chatty pirate played by Stephen Graham (Tommy from Snatch) is as dumber a pirate as you could have hoped for.

The mermaids are tantalisingly graceful but there is not an "Ariel" in sight as these ladies of the deep are as deadly as they are beautiful and the collection of a single tear proves harder than you may believe.  But not all is lost, as you will see - they are not all like it!

There is no real plot spoiler here - its a road movie on boats with swords and as with the previous three its Johnny Depp who steals the limelight.  Depp is again amazing and I believe he truly loves this role, maybe above all others.  He IS Jack Sparrow.  Cunning, devious, funny, witty, charming & deadly, a lovable rogue.  And he continues to get better and better with each outing.

Its a good 2hrs this one and being a 12A there are some jumpy bits - We saw it in 2D but no matter - the cinema was still full and although you could tell the bits that would have jumped out at you it was a joy to behold as much without the specs as I am sure it would have been with them.

I might wait to see if there is a Fifth on the way in the next few years but if not - then the box set might be a great little investment.  There has not been a pirate franchise like this before and there probably never will be again - Not a bad word.  Loved it.

See this if..........................................You're partial to a bottle of Rum!

117, Attack the Block

So, it's National Lottery funded "Film 4" presentation time once again.  These pop up every now and again, a low(ish) budget Brit flick movie with a wholly English cast, set in a realistic UK setting with a plot as English as time itself.  Quietly brilliant.

Until now that is.

I could not wait to go and see this movie.  With comical legend Nick Frost starring I was easily expecting a great reprise for him to the screen after Paul, Hot Fuzz etc and hoped that A.T.B was going to just another great string to his bow.  The trailer looks hilarious - a group of South London youths who witness an alien invasion and rather than get the cops involved, tool up and decide to take down the unidentified menace themselves!

That is the basis of the entire plot sorted.  Nut comedy? Uh......no.

If this was meant to be a funny film then I totally missed the plot.  Was it meant to be an actual serious alien attack movie?  Probably - its just a shame though as it did drama and seriousness relatively badly, humour even worse and acting, well lets just say there was a reason why most of the cast have only done small TV roles until now.

I cant totally slate it though - I did find the gang in question relatively amusing with their South London quips and their blatant disregard for law and order.  The backdrops were well utilised of the council estates with the darkened corridors and back alleys proving quite a scary playground for our alien invaders.  Which brings me onto the Aliens themselves.

Either to save on costs or for any other given reason the creatures were pretty featureless except for a glowing blue set of chompers.  Balls of hair and teeth, jet black in colour with no facial expressions they just gave the appeal of brainless drones and I suppose this was the intention but it was just predictable and pointless.

Written and Directed by Joe Cornish (from Adam & Joe) I was hoping he was progressing towards becoming the 2nd Noel Clarke.  Noel, Coming from TV and penning such great movies as Kid & Adulthood and 4.3.2.1 I fully expected this to be on the same level - dark, gritty and real.  Instead it fell on its arse.  Heavily.  It's easy to see how Frost got involved, Cornish starred in Hot Fuzz & Shaun of the Dead so its more a friendly favour from Frost, rather than a contractual obligation.

I wish I could say something more positive.  The lead role, Moses was okay, the supporting cast (including Frost) were slightly dull and "Hi Hats" was a total waste of space.

I would rather sit through eyeball surgery then watch this again.  I am not one against swearing, violence or attitude in fact, I welcome them in my movies but this was just poor.  On all levels.  Sorry Joe - Stick to 6 Music.

See this if.........................................
Right, at this point of the blog I usually come up with a quirky one-liner which defines my own feelings or comparisons to other movies that you may like, allowing you to make concerted judgements on if you also choose to spend your hard earned cash on release.  However, on this one, the blog may turn you off going but in all honesty - its not all that bad and although probably belongs in the "straight to DVD" cabinet may appeal to some of you.   

SO, with that in mind, See this if..................................kids and knives and bikes and guns and aliens and gangsters and gangs and BMW's and mopeds and blue teeth and quiet neighbours and drugs and baseball caps and samurai swords and petrol filled supersoakers and wheelie bins and afro's and security doors and meat wagons and tiny tempah specs are your thing.  If not, dont bother. :-)

116, Hanna

To date, there have been a few movies with a female child assassin.  Leon, more recently Kick-Ass but this one is a little bit different.

The movie opens in the icy wilderness.  A lone hunter is tracking a deer with a bow and arrow and strikes with almost pinpoint accuracy.  After she proceeds to shoot it point blank in the head and gut the poor beast she is crept up on by a hooded figure who claims "you're dead" a fight breaks out and our two characters proceed to battle in a "mortal kombat" style with the older male pulling no punches about giving the younger female a kicking.  After our hunter takes a small initiative it becomes apparent that this is not ordinary 16 year old Justin Bieber fan!

Father and Daughter, living together without any outside influences for what appears to be her entire short lifetime.  Initially, there are lines and plot stories spoken about that don't make any sense at this point but luckily the film story pans out to explain everything along the way.

Hanna, played by Saorise Ronan has previously had a few good roles in City of Ember, The Lovely Bones and most recently, the Way Back (See Blog 81) but this is definitely her best one to date.  She is brilliant.  Dark and deadly with an air of slight anonymity she is keen to discover her true identity and that of the world around her.  Trained solely by her father, Eric Bana - an ex spy turned rogue, hiding out for his own, and that of his daughters protection the pair are living out a quiet, nomad existence until it becomes time for her to spread her wings, knowing the whole time that when she does they will both be hunted down.

So here come the bad guys!  Led by Cate Blanchett, playing a slightly less darker version of her role in Indie 4 with a strong Southern accent leads the US government's spook division aided by quite a camp little blond oddball with two skinheads as back-up.  Not your first choice of government heavies but under the radar and a nasty temper as lethal as their dress sense!

A tiny cameo from who I believed to be Gemma Arterton goes completely uncredited so I am not even sure if it was her.  If so, the threw her hat into a tiny role after some recent big hitters - hope things are not drying up for this english rose.

Its a strange one this, I enjoyed it but there were parts that did drag out quite a bit.  The small battles that take place are well executed and Hanna is definitely the kid at school you want in your corner!  She bunks in with a travelling family, led by UK legend, Jason Flemyng but its his daughter in this that gets the laughs - the same age as Hanna but from oh, so different backgrounds.  Its her british wit that grabs some of the few laughs in this and her sweet naivety of the big wide world, tied up in her small "Hello magazine" outlook on life.

12A this one and there were plenty of kids in the audience but as mentioned in The Priest (Blog 116) certs seem to be relaxing - My 7 year old could have come along - but no chance!

If deep and meaningful is your thing with a slightly odd requirement of seeing kids kicking the crap out of bad guys then you will love this!

I was in a packed cinema and although there were a gaggle of chuckling teens behind me I managed to zone out and enjoy the movie.  hopefully you will too!

See this if.................................you want to see what Hit Girl would be like, all grown-up! 

115, Priest

Its about time we had a proper vampire movie.  No room here for floppy haired, pasty "don't want to eat anybody" wimpy heartthrobs.  Vamps should be nasty, no mercy critters with a true thirst for blood and look mean as hell to go with it.

Set in an apocalyptic "Mad Max" style world we have 2 races, Humans and Vampires who have warred for years with the humans apparently becoming victorious under the lead of a group of Priests.  A legendary martial arts & weapons trained fraternity of biblical worshipers who defeat vampires with swift ease and deadly style.

We are quickly bought in to this realm buy a great little 5 minute anime cartoon which shows the story of the great war and how the humans come to gain supremacy over the vampires. 

After being sent to prison camps the vampires are supposed to be a distant memory until an old adversary shows his head again and leads them to a 2nd coming.

There are some great parts to this movie.  Firstly, the lead Paul Bettany is his normal amazing self and carries this type of role easily as he did in Davinci Code, just not as evil!  On a mission to rescue his niece from a rogue vampire squadron our hero breaks his code of secrecy and heads out into the wasteland to take on an army of blood sucking Vampires.

This is a 12, not a 12A and in 3D there are plenty of jumpy bits to keep you on your toes.  Certs have definately got a bit more relaxed recently, my daughter could have seen this but I am convinced she would have jumped right out of her seat!

With other vampire movies the vamps are just like humans with dodgy teeth and a slightly "near death" complexion.  In this, those stereotypes are there but called "familiars", humans who have sided with the vamps - the actual vampires are hideous, blinded, all teeth, animal like creatures who awake at dusk with only one thing on their mind.  Living in hives they excrete, eat and roar their way through desolate wasteland, demolishing everything that comes in their path.

I was not expecting great things from this movie but I was completely overwhelmed. 

I loved it. 

The effects were great, the battles were epic, the weaponry on show were impressive and the motorbikes with their tagged on jet engine and 300mph thrust buttons were awesome.

There are plenty of other great actors in this and all playing great roles but its actually all about Bettany.  He rocks in this and if its still on at your local multiplex and you fancy a bit of an unexpected thrill then check this one out in awesome 3D before they take it off.

Hopefully you will love it too!

See this if.......................There is more to Vampires than a floppy hair cut!

114, Insidious

Categorically speaking, I don't do horror films (See Scream 4 Blog), but Scream 4 is not a Horror.  It's Hollywood's interpretation of a glamorous slasher movie.  Boobs and knives etc.  On the other hand Saw, Hostel, Hills have Eyes etc are also not scary films.  Sometimes they are gross out blood fests that make you squirm and in my case as it was with Hostel, feel a little queasy but again, not pinned to your seat, white fear kind of stuff.

Jump back a few decades.  As a kid I sneaked peaks at Poltergeist, Amityville etc and they proper freaked me out and I sadly cant comment on recent outings with Paranormal Activitie(s) so going into this one was a bit of an experience.

Firstly, I had to look up what Insidious meant!  My love of Russell Brand does not always stretch to his vocab talents so,  Research was required;

Insidious - Adjective

1. intended to entrap or beguile: an insidious plan.
2. stealthily treacherous or deceitful: an insidious enemy.
3. operating or proceeding in an inconspicuous or seemingly harmless way but actually with grave effect: an insidious disease.

Hmmm.  Nice!

Yes, its a scary movie - I dare the toughest of you not to jump even a little bit at a number of points throughout and I have to admit, slightly sweaty on the palms - I jumped, but not a proper scream out loud, popcorn in the air, kick to the back of the head of the guy in front kind of way.

The plot is a simple one - sweet young family move into nice big Amityville style property (should have seen the signs early!) and after a short time the son falls into a coma.  Wifey staying at home while husband skirts the issue by working longer hours etc.  Then the ghosties start to appear, and not Beetlejuice stylie ghosties.  Actual creepy ones.  The main, resembling a nasty version of Darth Maul but there are a few that jump out at you throughout.  To try and fix this, they move house, but the trouble moves with them.  More ghosties thrown together with knocks, bangs and hand prints lead to a bit of a spine chilling adventure until an unlikely combo of old friend / demon hunter and her "Egon Spengler(ish)" like double act of assistants descend to film, capture and send home the Demons from within.

Each of the cast plays their parts brilliantly - the movie even manages to get a slight chuckle towards the end with a "my flashlights bigger than your flashlight" moment and I am not even going to tell you if there is a happy ending! Like me you will have to sit through the 90 minutes of thinking if you are actually going to scream like a girl in public (which I didn't) or if this is another disappointing outing from the movie people trying to be scary.

Either way - for an up to date psychological thriller it definitely ticks lots of boxes.  Horror film though? Well, not really.  But I urge you to take someone slightly less brave than you and make them see it, as I did.  And that is where this blog resolves, in a heartfelt thank you to my wife.  Although she shares a name with the leading character (which really did not go down too well) she manned-up and sat though her worst nightmare purely because I asked her too.  Yes she got scared, Yes she wont ever go again but to those who know her personally, She deserves a big well done!!

See this if................................you want to relive those early scares of 80's Horror in 2011.

113, Red Riding Hood

Having seen this trailer a while ago it had "Tim Burton" written all over it, bit with the lack of any casting from Bonham-Carter it became apparent that he actually had nothing to do with it.  Instead it is Twilight Director Catherine Hardwicke who has turned her hand to recreating one of the most famous tales of all time.

And the comparisons to Twilight are remarkable!  Okay, so there is no Vampires but the wolf is played out as a Werewolf, initially being thought to live up in the mountains but after the arrival of Werewolf & Witch hunter Gary Oldman we discover the enemy lies withing and one of the villagers has a dark secret to hide.

All throughout the movie they play around with who it might be, little snippets of eyes and voices, statements etc lead you down a few paths but when the wolf is discovered, well................don't panic - I'm not that mean!

The best bit of this is the set.  A small village in who knows where, snugly settled in the forest with log cabins and open fires.  Given the constant snow cover, quite a warm and cosy little hamlet.  Being Hollywood, most of the village ladies are stunning!  Amanda Seyfried leads the way in a slightly more darker role than she has portrayed before as our normal on screen Sweetheart has taken a bit of sinister, troublesome teen turn as Valerie, our lady with the Red Cape.  Other famous faces include the already mentioned Gary Oldman, Charlie from Twilight (Billy Burke) and a welcome return (albeit quite short lived) from Stargate legend Michael Shanks.

So, the plot - Well, after 10 or so years of peace due to regular annual sacrifices the "wolf" has left our little village of wherever alone.  A medieval cluster of blacksmiths and farmers live out their basic lives until the Blood Moon bears down upon them and the Werewolf returns to reek havoc on this unlikely band of warriors. 

Thinking they have killed it early on, (very "Jaws") a band of soldiers, led by a Priest arrive with a manner of traps and tricks to lure the beast out for capture but there is more than just meets the eye and the wolf has rhyme and reason (and quite freakishly) a voice for what its doing and goes about a particular line of attacks to get what it wants.

The special effects are not as good as Twilight, the Wolf in particular is quite lame in comparison and up until it speaks to Seyfried I was totally into the movie - but then it just gave way a little.  not sure why, it was a good film but just got a little cheesy in the middle.

Dont let this put you off though, Grandma's house in the forest is brilliantly made and there are the "Grandma, what big eyes you have" lines thrown in for good measure.  Having Amanda in it means there has to be an underlying love story, which of course there is so the romantic ones out there will have something to celebrate but being a 12a the most you get to see is a slight roll around in the hay, not a full on Medieval romp, but never mind.  There is always next time!

That's it really.  The movie does leave a few questions, mainly how is everybody keeping warm in frilly summer dresses in the deep winter snow but that's just me being my normal over analytical self, ignore me.

Is it for the kids? Well, its a 12a but after having mine now forever petrified (to the point of tears) of clowns after watching "The Hole 3D" I tread a little more carefully when approaching this slightly bewildering age certificate.  Personally, my 7 year old would have been frozen to her seat but 12 and above, they should be fine. 

Its not around for much longer so if like me, this is the only thing left at the multiplex still to see then catch it while you can.  It wont win any awards but it fills a Sunday evening.

See this if.....................................................What big Teeth you Have!

112, Arthur

30 years ago, Dudley Moore reigned supreme as one of the silver screens comedy greats.  Arthur was a movie about a rich singleton, slightly eccentric with a passion for all thing immature and a love of booze, women and frivolous behaviour. 

Then its ultimatum time, marry up or lose everything - To Susan, an up and coming business elite who can run the family business and carry Arthur into his elderly days being kept in the life he is so accustomed, or check out.  No cash, no fortune. 

Constantly shielded by Hobson, the ever present Nanny, Arthur's relationship with his Mother is only a backdrop to the real parenting that comes from this ever loyal employee but, can our demur hero make the right decision to secure his own future happiness?

WOW! What a deep and meaningful description.  So, that's the 1981 version taken care off, now onto the 2011 one.  Well, please see above!

Its almost exact, one of the closest remakes to an original I have ever seen, even down to wearing Abe Lincolns hat in the bath tub.  Except, Hobson has moved from the late great (male) Sir John Gielgud to the ever so heavenly preserved (female) Dame Helen Mirren (who, by the way is by far the best thing in this movie, closely followed by the cars!)  Russell Brand replaced Moore as the British eccentric billionaire and Linda becomes Naomi, previously played by Liza Minelli, now Greta Gerwig.

Now for the brutally honest bit.  It was a bit Cheesy.  Especially the first 20 minutes or so.  Don't get me wrong though, this has Russell Brand written all over it and after reading his Booky Wook 2 recently the lifestyle is pretty well matched to the the man himself and currently, I don't think anyone could have pulled it off better.  But its obvious in my eyes that the only reason it was remade was because Russell Brand exists.  Its definitely not got a single scene with the leading namesake not appearing at some point.

I mentioned that Helen Mirren is the best thing in the movie.  And she SO is!  She switches between snooty Nanny and best buddy seamlessly and loving her as I do, she can look after me any day!

Due to the "lifestyle" portrayed, the movie has scope for the dream lifestyle and this was delivered brilliantly at the end where almost every dream movie car appears in a convey of greatness, even down to a very shiny Mystery Machine.  The Chauffeur, Bitterman is laughably the most visually funny with Brand bagging 99% of the one liner gags, most at the expense of unwanted bride-to-be Jennifer Garner.

Based on my love for all things "Brand" I feel obliged to endorse it.  It might not be every ones cup of tea but it keeps you amused and it tugs the old heart strings along the way.

Garner as a drunk pussy cat is a little scary and Nick Nolte as her dad appears old and frail but fair game to him.

Blog over.  Enjoy.

See this if.....................................its hard to believe that 30 yrs has already passed! but the classics remain.

111, Thor

Thor, God of Thunder and Son of Odin; King of Asgard.  Brother to Loki and keeper of Mjollnir, The Hammer. 

A story of Myth & Legend handed down through the ages, and now forever on the silver screen via Marvel? Who knew Stan Lee is creating Gods now, as if Super heroes were not enough.

Anyway, Here we are in a Hero movie of Historic proportions.  Thor is cast out of Asgard after, on the word of his treacherous brother defies his fathers orders and sets attack to the Frost Giants, an act that sees him wrongly cast out to one of the realms governed by King Odin.  Earth.

In Asgard, Thor is an arrogant dick and its only when he comes to Earth and bumps into Natalie Portman and her mini band of astro-physicists does he mellow out a bit and understand the true meaning that power is earned as with respect and not handed out lightly!

WOW!  This is a great movie.  Natalie Portmans 3rd since Black Swan? (how many movies in a short space of time?.... and she managed to get pregnant along the way!) she is brilliant in this one - definitely more credit worthy than "Your Highness" and hopefully one she wont be embarrassed by, she rocked in this.  The star through and through though is Thor, played by Chris Hemsworth (Home and Away? and Jim Kirks Dad in Start Trek?) is relatively unknown, however with two more movies due out this year, the Thor video game and reprising Thor again in the 2012 Avengers movie there is a bright future for this Aussie Beefcake (Much to my Mrs delight!)

He is very funny when dealing with the human element of Earth with no real understanding his demeanour shines through and coming into contact with things like Tazers and patio doors are laugh out loud funny.  Hollywood elite in the form of Renee Russo and Anthony Hopkins take their roles as Mum & Dad and what Marvel movie would not be complete with the godfather of comics, Stan Lee himself popping up for his guaranteed 3 words in every Marvel Flick.

It cuts between hick U.S town and marble & gold clad Heavens with complete ease and the story jumps around at the start but easily manageable and a joy to watch.

This is a 12 movie, nothing scary - no sex or bad language just great action, special effects and laugh out loud jokes.  Saw it in 2D so cant really comment on if I felt i missed out but the film was great in 2D so my recommendation is not to bother.

Marvel Hero? - Well I did not think so, Stan is working off of someone elses creation here unless Thor was an Avenger (and he probably was in some form or another).  There is a great Iron Man / Stark quip which most may miss but its there and you will be easily forgiven if like me you were convinced that Gerard Butler played on of the Warriors; Three.  It isn't.

See this if...............................................you like your Thunder with a hint of Comedy!

110, Fast Five

Very rarely (with the exception of Crocodile Dundee II) does a sequel outshine its original.  By the time your to installment 5, those movies that have made the distance have normally lost all the original cast, defied all plot logic and are purely expecting attendance based on previous glories (Just watch Police Academy: Assignment Miami to see what I mean).

Luckily, this is about to buck the trend!

Not only did they call back all of the original cast members from all 4 of the previous movies (that who survived at least) but also managed to add some extra big names to the already impressive list to deliver in my eyes what is an awesome movie.

There is no denying that since The Fast and the Furious came out back in 2001 I have had a thing for these movies.  I love the cars, the action, the sheer greatness of the stunts and Messrs Mark Sinclair Vincent & Paul William Walker just seem to get better with age. 

Fair enough, I genuinely feel they only truly shine is these movies, Sadly I don't rate Walker in much else and Vin's showing in the Pacifier was easily forgettable, luckily though he is set to come back in XXX the Return of Xander Cage later this year so look out for that one!

First off then let look at our likely rabble of hoodlums.  We have Dom & Brian along with sister Mia & Vince from movie 1 who make an appearance, then Roman & Tej rock up from the 2nd outing, Tokyo Drift star Han is a pleasing addition and there are some new additions in the form of some comedic Brazilians and a hottie biker chic.  Sadly its missing the lovely Michelle Rodriguez (due to an untimely death in No.4) however she is referenced throughout.  As a crew they seem unstoppable and all play absolute blinders.

Then the backdrop - Rio is awesome.  Fans of C.O.D will instantly recognise the Favellas as our unlikely Heroes bounce of rooftops and rip up back alleys to deliver a mind blowing, jaw dropping action flick that does not let up from start to finish.

Now the Cops / FBI.  Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson looks bigger and tougher than ever as Hobbs, the agent tasked with bringing down Dom & Brian and surprisingly enough, only David from "Numbers" was the other recognisable face.

The action is better than you can expect with chase after fight after chase taking place and the way the director draws you into the action and car chases is breathtaking.

I know movies like this never get the recognition from the Academy or Awards ceremonies but this one should.  Its an all out action entertainment fest - the 2hrs flash past as quickly as the cars in it and the explosions and guns fire off more rounds, both for and against our heroes from end to end.

The comedy element is strong throughout with Roman and Tej bouncing off each other like a modern day Two Ronnie's and the subtitled Brazilians get more laughs than everyone else put together.

I could go on and on about this one but I think this is enough - For me, its got everything I love in a great movie.  Normally by now I would say enough is enough but please please please, make a 6, 7 & 8 - I will keep paying!

See this if...........................................any of the previous films made you smile, this one will blow your socks off!