215, Brave

Parents, you know you cant go far wrong with the latest Disney Pixar offering.  Time after time they have set the benchmark for great kids animation while managing to keep the adults interest for the full 90 minutes.  While the kids are awe inspired by the cute and lovable characters on screen we get treated to the occasional witty banter that sometimes goes over our off springs head but is the nod from the studio that they want to make us interested as well and give us a reason go going other than just trying to entertain the kids during the holidays.

Well, once more they've gone the extra mile and Brave is a worthy string to their already impressive bow.  Don't forget - this studio is only really 17 years old as its first big movie Toy Story was released in 1995 although its original inception was in 1979 as the graphics arm of lucasfilm and it was Apple legend Steve Jobs who took it on as a separate entity and personally funded its early transformation in 1986. 

Its had an impressive 13 movie haul to date with a resume that includes Toy Story in 1995, followed by A Bug's Life (1998), Toy Story 2 (1999), Monsters, Inc. (2001), Finding Nemo (2003) and The Incredibles (2004).  Disney bought it in 2006 (becoming Disney Pixar) for about $7 Billion and since then it just went from strength to strength with Cars (2006), Ratatouille (2007), WALL-E (2008), Up (2009), Toy Story 3 (2010), Cars 2 (2011), and now, Brave (2012) and there are more to come!

You cant fault these movies - their secret being the  PhotoRealistic RenderMan, its own implementation of the industry-standard RenderMan image-rendering application programming interface used to generate high-quality images.  Geeky enough for you?  Well best get onto the movie itself.

Another impressive cast list this time include Billy Connolly,  Kelly MacDonald, Emma Thompson, Julie Walters, Robbie Coltrane and Kevin McKidd to name a few - Scottish Hollywood royalty represented (in part) to full effect.

Kelly plays Merida, a flame haired princess who is determined to lead her own life rather than the one of regal pomp bestowed upon her.  With the support of her boisterous father (Connolly) and to the dismay of her well to do mother (Thompson) she seeks out a wish from Witch (Walters) to change her fate - but in true Disney tradition, her plans of grandeur go to pot when whats best for her, may not be so enthralling for those close to her and its down to Merida to fix the bond between Mother & Daughter to break the curse and return to happy, normal life.

Its quirky, funny, adventurous and brilliantly animated.  The cast excel in their roles and with a total adoration of Trainspotting I'm always glad to see Macdonald and McKidd in the limelight.  I even saw Billy on his farewell tour so I feel closer to this cast than many with an obvious awareness of Brit legends Thompson and Walters, it would be hard to have a bad word against this one.

Compared to the other kids movies out there currently (and believe me, there are a fair few) this one ticks the most boxes. 

214, The Expendables 2

If there is one thing I love its an all out, guns blazing Action movie.  Since the 80's / 90's something has happened and it seems that scripts and actors have got a little more savvy to demand and plots have been intricate, complex and sometimes overworked (not always a bad thing mind) but sometimes, all the audience want to see is a total no-brainer, balls out blockbuster with little plot, big bangs and even bigger ego's.

Well, as with the first outing for Sly and his band of ageing Action Stars you get exactly what you pay for and this time they've gone Bigger & Better!

All the originals are back, Stallone, Li, Lundgren, Couture, Statham & Crews as the original merry men but sadly, and for no reason that he seems to have been busy elsewhere, Li removes himself from proceedings early on, leaving our sensational six as a now fabulous five with Willis still pulling the strings and Schwarzenegger back as the 'competition'.  But that's not all - The Hollywood 80's address book has been opened and lone wolf, Chuck Norris pops in for some solid sniper action and when the Muscles from Brussels himself steps up as the villain, still able to pull off flying spinning roundhouse kicks you know you're in for a treat - and Jean-Claude comes with none of the cheese sadly displayed in his recent 'Coors Light' ad campaigns!

The body count in this movie is impressive, as are the methods of destruction for minion after minion who get in our Expendables way.  There are decapitations, people blown up, people having tanks land on them and that's all before the opening credits roll, leaving most movies lagging in the death stakes way before the movie even gets going!  Those with the blood lust will be more than satisfied as its spurts out from every open vein in epic proportions.

We even get treated to a few new recruits.  Added into the mix are Thor's younger brother Liam Hemsworth as the new 'sniper' kid on the block, impressing Sly and his band of merry men at every turn.  Sadly, a short lived role as his demise makes way for the revenge side of the story to kick off & a girl! I know - madness.

As you would have guessed there are Terminator, Rambo & Rocky references dotted throughout and I was sure the on screen trio of Arnie, Sly & Willis would have given reason to a line similar to "We should open a restaurant after this is over" but they go with a "We belong in a Museum" piece instead which was slightly more fitting.  There are more "I'll be back" quotes as well (Yawn) but this time mocked by Willis and I have to say, Arnie is looking more than past it (sadly) but on the flip side, Van Damme is looking as ever hard in this as he used too - and just as agile!

Obviously, this wont appeal to everybody but if like me you love your action movies with OTT explosions and a completely impossible story-lines, paired with the unexpected comedy element of Lundgren (I was surprised at how funny he is in this) and every 80's action star you have ever dreamt of coming together for a jolly boys outing that Del boy would have been proud off then you wont do much worse than this in 2012.

Leave you intelligence at the door - this movie has got more cigar smoke than a Cuban tobacco factory and as many dodgy one liners as a Frank Carson gig but who cares,  its got Gun's, Explosions and Arnie - what else could you need?

213, Diary of a Wimpy Kid Dog Days

Oh Dear.

This blog wont take long and if you're between 6-10yrs old you'll probably love it but sadly for me, this movie came across as a meagre attempt to keep an aged franchise running that initially had one slightly amusing movie back in 2010 but has since bombed.

For those who actually care - Diary of a Wimpy Kid is a collection of 7 books all written by American author Jeff Kinney.  Dog Days is book 4 with books 1 & 2 already hitting the big screens.  For some reason book 3, 'The Last Straw' never made it so that should have set alarm bells ringing.

The first movie had charm, character and a few funny sequences and according to my kids, the books are great but in this instance it just didnt materlialise onto the screen.  The fact that I did find the first movie good tells me that I get it.  I'm not saying its not beneath me or anything like that, it just failed to impress on a few levels. 

Dog Days sees our wimpy kid starting his summer break and as usual, his cool 'wannabe' lifestyle is crushed by family, friends and dog, leaving him embarrased and having to deal with fixing his summer, rather than living it.

Our Wimpy Kid and the rest of the original cast remain - Zach Gordon is looking older but not too much wiser as Greg Heffley and the star of the show for me still (as it was in the first one) is his geeky B.F.F Rowley who is a little bit 'too' weird to be comfortable, but uses that to gets most of the laughs.

The adults are nothing special and elder brother Roderick is even more removed from reality as he is in the prequals.  The female bully Patty remains as do a few other faces but in general - no stand out performances.

I have to give the company behind this their due - the books will lure out innocent parents, coaxed into going by their offspring who adore the novels but it needs to stay there - please, No more!  If the books are anything to go by then the next installment would include dating & I would instantly feel sorry for whoever gets the sad task of dating Rowley!

There are so many kids movies out currently including Step Up 4, Brave, Ice Age 4 & The Lorax, all of which I'd rather watch than this one so with only a few weeks of Summer remaining, take your ankle biters to any of the above instead.  Avoid this one.

Sorry x

212, The Bourne Legacy

Time to engage your brains people and pay attention, this is not a movie of which you are allowed to leave your intelligence at home. 

Firstly - If you are reading this blog and are planning to see this movie without first watching the Bourne Ultimatum then stop what you are doing, switch off your computer and go and either rent, buy or use whatever digital TV provider you have to stream this movie then come back and we will start again.

Even though this is a 4th instalment for us - this movie doesnt follow on from the last but runs alongside the events of the last Bourne movie, Ultimatum so without knowledge of the story it'll be tricky to fully keep up to date with the sequence of events taking place.  While Bourne and Lundy are busy working to take down Treadstone another, far higher department have realised that after Bourne's almost superhuman events in Moscow (about 1/3 through Ultimatum) its time to cut all ties with the Treadstone / Black Friar program.  That means take out all other agents, scientists etc involved leaving no stone unturned.  This role falls to Edward Norton and his team of CIA geeks to act independently of Treadstone and minimalise risk, just in case Bourne succeeds in his mission.  That my friends, is where Legacy kicks off.

We are kept up to date with the time frame of Ultimatum as events unfurl with news bulletins and press releases staggered throughout Legacy and While Jason Bourne is doing his thing, Norton is successfully taking out operatives and scientists with undercover sleeper agents.  On each side we manage to have a survivor - from the Agent side its Jeremy Renner, Agent 5 of 9 who manages to luckily escape a drone attack while training in Alaska and for the scientists its Rachel Weisz who manages to hold off her assassin just long enough until security take him down.  Now both are hunted with the intention of permanently silencing the pair who meet up and work together to avoid capture, imminent death and try to make sense of everything going on.

Its a brilliant movie.  There is so much more involved in the plot than I've written above but most will need to be seen to be fully understood.  The action sequences are fast and furious, the parallel chain of events from Ultimatum are fed seamlessly into Legacy and the idea of having them play out this way in a new concept I've not seen before with prequel or sequel and I loved it. 

You need to have you game face on for most of it, especially the first 30 minutes or so when snippets of Ultimatum are regularly fed into Legacy e.g the death of the news reporter Ross (at Waterloo) who uncovers Treadstone as well as a few others and to the unknowing eye who's not seen the first trilogy you could easily get lost but for the rest of us - you should pick it up quite easily.

It does calm down eventually with the full plot of Legacy taking shape and less interaction with the last movie and thats when you feel you can lower the heart rate slightly but dont get too comfy because it then goes into overdrive!

Renner and Weisz are both fantastic in their roles.  Norton is smooth, slick and although after our heroes - you cant fault this guys determination & organisation to track, find and kill his targets. 

I've not got a bad word about it - there are Jason Bourne references throughout although Matt Damon is only seen in photographs however that's the Ultimatum side of the movie - the Legacy part is definitely all about Renner who I think could even kick Damon's ass if needed.

Watch the first three then add this to the list - its a definite MUST!

211, Ted

Not since Who Framed Roger Rabbit can I think of a movie where animated characters lived alongside humans in blissful happiness and it was completely accepted as normal.  More recently there have been The Muppets where Walter was able to carry out day to day duties with no one batting an eyelid.  All good movies but all lacking something special - the adult element - sure, these movies are fine to take the kids too but sometimes we need something just for us.  Just like Wanted was an adaptation of a quite grown up comic, Ted takes us into a realm not yet seen on the big screen and I was unsure if it could actually work.  Luckily I was wrong.

Before you spend the entire movie trying to guess who the narrator is (as I did), its Patrick Stewart.  So moving on..........

Ted is a bear, bought for little John Bennett, a picked on kids who just wishes he had a best friend that he could have forever and ever - one Christmas - his wish came true and sure enough - Ted came to life, instantly to the horror of his parents but once accepted he became a bit of a celeb, starring on chat shows and adverts until the public got bored and both John (Wahlberg) and Ted (McFarlane) grew up and we have two drop out individuals hooked on drinking and getting high.  Somehow, John meets and falls in love with the stunning Lori (Kunis) and it becomes clear that three's a crowd and John has to make a decision between his lifelong buddy and the girl of his dreams.

This film goes to places you couldn't imagine - a Bear with a Bong on the couch paired with a slightly odd obsession with Flash Gordon (which plays out into a quite funny sub story line and impromptu cameo from Sam J Jones, Flash as himself) with other subtle appearances from Tom Skerritt and Norah Jones with a great speechless part from Ryan Reynolds who I'm sure only got involved due to his love of Family Guy.

Macfarlane is every bit as rude and crude as one can get away with nowadays on a movie and even manages to bag himself a hottie from the supermarket who he manages to satisfy with certain vegetable produce due to his 'lack' of required equipment, something he jokingly said he complained to Hasbro about - there are little one-liners ion this that make the movie what it is and although some may fly over your head - most are easily catchable.

Kunis & Wahlberg bounce brilliantly off of each other but the movie takes a dark turn of events towards the end with an appearance from Giovanni Ribisi and his very odd child who seek to capture Ted and keep him for themselves.

The story is pretty self explanatory - Bennett is torn between his life long friend and his future beloved and has some tough choices to make, not helped by Lori's seedy boss making moves on her at every turn and a group of work friends who think she could do so much better.  Wahlberg's character has to step up and prove he's a man with a plan rather than a boy with a bear and do whats right to satisfy everybody. 

There are plenty of 80's references throughout this and in my mind - Macfarlane nailed his role - the Bear is epic - I want one!  The effects are seamless and the fight scene really goes to town (just keep an eye out for the hotel room brawl)

It was a 'given' that Mila Kunis would star heavily in this due to her involvement with Macfarlane in place with her role as Meg from Family Guy but Wahlberg was an inspired choice but well played on his part also.

Its funny, rude & crude all at the same time with an actual tear jerker for an ending but don't let any of that out you off - its worth every penny.  Like Seth or loathe him he does do this type of comedy almost better than anyone else and believe - you've never seen anything like this before.

210, The Dark Knight Rises

The anticipation of this final Chris Nolan Batman movie, starring Christian Bale has been awe inspiring - never has a movie had so much expectation to deliver brilliance as this one. 

With Nolan's new, darker franchise making a mockery of previous outings starring Kilmer & Clooney this really bought a depth of feel to the character and I for one don't need to revisit the brilliance of the previous two movies that led up to this one. 

Nolan and Bale always knew this was a trilogy and it was clear to movie goers that this was a three-part deal - where it goes from here is unknown with the end of the movie definitively ending Bruce Wayne's involvement with the Bat - but leaving a door open for the next level and for whoever is brave enough to try and follow in Nolan's footsteps better not mess it up! 

So - The Dark knight Rises.  8 years have passed since Batman took the blame for the death of Gotham Hero Harvey Dent, the secret of his two-faced identity kept away from the Gotham residence to ensure faith in the system was maintained has merely paved the way for an underground movement to plan their uprising and with the now elusive Batman and reclusive Bruce Wayne nowhere to be seen its time (as tom Hardy puts it) for Gotham's Reckoning.

Bane was an unlikely choice for the baddie in my eyes, seen only previously in the other Batman movies as a sidekick to Poison Ivy, This rendition sees the awesome Tom Hardy come across as a terrorist, hell bent on the seclusion and destruction of Gotham city itself and hell bent on revealing the truth about Dent, the involvement of Gordon and the unmasking of Batman - something he manages to pull off, brilliantly.  Even though I initially though it was a poor choice of villian, Hardy's involvement had me very excited and I admint - I was wrong.  Bane's brilliant - Well played.

The special effects are jaw dropping, Bane himself has all the elements of psycho hard man you could ever wish for and with the complete 360 story bringing us back to the League of Shadows, featured heavily in part one, its a fitting end to what has been the best trilogy to EVER hit our screens.

But even Bale and his might machines isn't enough to stop Hardy alone and he enlists the help of Jewel thief, Selena (Cat woman) played by the ever gorgeous Anne Hathaway as an immediate adversary, turned assistant but without the cheese that Chris O'Donnels 'Robin' bought into the mix.

Gordon, Fox and Alfred all return as well as a brief appearance from Liam Neeson and the gangs pretty much all here for the final farewell.

There is so much going on in this  movie - the plot rips along at such a pace that the 2hrs 40m flies by before you know it and every question you ever wanted answered from the other movies has its turn to play out - including an Arkham breakout where baddie Number 1, Scarecrow (Cillian Murphy) gets a fabulous reprise as judge and executioner to the Gotham 'elite' when the legal tables are turned and the inmates get to play 'courtroom' for a while.

The end of the movie is brilliant - what you believe is a broken relationship gets a final awakening and although I'm not going to tell who or what it involves - lets just say is brings a tear to the well trained eye and definitely a sub plot that could not be left to lie. 

The end for Batman? - well, as I mentioned at the start, there is an opening for a fourth instalment but it wont include Bale which means it wont include Bruce Wayne as as our caped crusader but that doesnt mean that someone else couldn't take up the reigns and act as protector of the newly freed  Gotham city, but you'd be a brave director to try and make it work as well!.

209, Seeking A Friend for the end of the World

Not every movie needs a Hollywood ending where a last chance 'Hurrah!" saves the day and our cast live happily ever after - for those who have seen movies like Wicker Man or Skyline will know that the good guys don't always win and sometimes we need reminded of that - well, there is no grey area here, many times have Hollywood saved us from planetary devastation with bombs on meteors or giant life saving submarines but I think its pretty clear that 'should' a world ending asteroid actually make its way close enough to cause harm - the chance of survival is dim so finally - its time for a movie that actually goes through the motions of, what would you do?

I'm not spoiling anything here - the opening line of the movie confirms that the mission to save the earth failed and our leading man (Steve Carell) has 3 weeks along with the rest of the planet to make all his ends meet, bury any left over hatchets and maybe - find someone worthy of seeing out his final days with him.

Enter Kiera Knightley - a free spirited, hippy styled early twenty something ish flyaway who's missing her family, in a rubbish relationship, down on her luck and also just needs someone to put their arms around her and tell her every things going to be okay.

These two completely different people, with only weeks left until complete annihilation decided to help each other out, Knightley to help Carell get to the lady in his life that got away and Carell to help Knightly get to her family in time to say goodbye.

Being a Carell movie there are a few funny moments but only as certain scenarios get played out with the mentality of whats about to happen - there are those who go looting and destroying, those who drink and do drugs, those who decide to let sexual inhibitions fly out of the window but in all the chaos, our intrepid two remain focused on their goal and even though you're completely expecting a sad ending - when it comes there wont be a dry eye in the house!

The 'will they / wont they' story is short lived but it doesn't matter - both played lovely parts in this and I for one thoroughly enjoyed it.

Don't expect an Armageddon last minute success story here - its sad, brutal, endearing, tear producing and in some parts, an inspiring movie of self sacrifice.  

208, The Five Year Engagement

If any film had an obvious plot line then its this one.  The whole movie is basically explained in the title so I wont need to go into depths about the ins and outs of the story line which means we can get straight onto the cast.

I'm an avid Emily Blunt fan - as a Brit and movie buff she tops many a list in my mind and in this again - she breathes life into what could be quite a hard role to play opposite Jason Segal.  I say a hard role but in gest its a role anyone could pull off - fiance' to a successful chef gets a break as a lecturer at a University on the other side of the country so she ups sticks and moves with a reserved but understanding Segal who gives up on his dream of becoming his own Head Chef to follow her to the back-woods.  Something he soon comes to regret.

With Blunts career blossoming its Segal who ends up having to endure the loathsome locals, dodgy jobs in sandwich bars, because his fine cuisine San-Francisco restaurant experience is laughed out of town and the comedy element comes mainly from Segal and his new band of very odd buddies as he tries so hard (with little success) to come across the loving partner and supporter to his future wife's ambitions to the point where (and I'm sure you have guessed) puts strain on the relationship.

And somehow I've managed to make the plot sound somewhat interesting and much more than the title initially predictable title.  I did enjoy this movie but sadly, I have one reservation - Jason Segal.

I just don't get him!  Some people find him hilariously funny - I just seem to think that he's somehow fluked his way into a Hollywood career and as a leading man - just lacks the power on screen to make his movies stand out.  He's cheesy in the Muppet's (I know everyone was but him especially) and in this, as co-writer he seems to only get roles he writes himself into - bagging two beauties in this (Blunt + a 23yr old waitress) I just think he;s the wrong type of person for this role.  I sadly don't even find him that amusing but I said the same about Jack Black at one point I recall and look how that turned out - He's a legend!

There ARE some funny moments - quite a lot of them in fact and blunt shines throughout. Ii only really laughed at Segal when he injured himself or went all 'Deliverance' about two thirds into the movie and the end is romantic, expected - but sweet.

I wish I was able to put my finger on exactly whats holding me back from sincerely gushing about this one, the Parents of Segal are both familiar faces and have lovely little cameos (similar in my mind to Hoffman and Streisand from Meet the Parents) and Blunts family quite comically, but sadly pass away throughout the movie but its written into a number of the gags so its accepted.

As a one off I suppose its worth a giggle - I cant see any scope for a follow-up here so if this is your cup of tea catch it while you can - its again not anywhere near the comedy value of Bridesmaids or even What to Expect When You're expecting and as I missed Friends with Kids I can only guess that this was also better.

Keep going Segal - I'm sure there's a movie coming up from you soon I'll love (Muppet's aside - but that was only Animal on the big screen that made me smile)

207, The Amazing Spiderman

What is so Amazing about the Amazing Spiderman? 

Sorry, but the Toby Maguire outings didn't do it for me, much like the Val Kilmer and George Clooney attempts at Batman made me chortle but then something happened.

Chris Nolan and Christian Bale took over and they became awesome, the final instalment being my most anticipated release of all time (ready D.Shields? - its on me!) - and I have to admit - a similar thing has happened here too.

Firstly lets take Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield, Social Network Dr Parnassus) He's brill.  He has the geeky adorability of Parker but without the nerd kicking in - Maguire was nerdy - Geek is 'chic' and the hoodie and skateboard element make intelligent 'street' once more - you could not have cast a better Parker.  Now for his love interest Gwen (Emma Stone)

Well, I wont deny I'm a fan - Zombieland and House Bunny - (not seen on many matching DVD shelf's but both in my household) a regular hottie, made out more often to be the geeky girl turned good shes a perfect match for Garfield.

Uncle Ben and Aunt May are played by Sally Field and Martin Sheen (brilliantly) and being 8th Welsh - Rhys Ifans is a household favourite.  Add in Dennis Leary in the role of the Police Chief (Spidermans equivalent of Batman's Chief Gordon if you will) and father to his love interest and things start to notch up a peg or two.

You cant fault this movie as far as Marvel heroes go - it needed a royal kick up the arse and with the 'Man of Steel' getting a re-do (again) Spiderman needed to catch up to Batman's prowess.  Sadly, its not as good as the Dark Knights control of the box office records but for a quirky little adaptation it doesn't go far wrong and with the sequel penned in for 2014 already it looks like success is expected.

The story starts a fresh so again - an hour of self discovery before the suit is donned and the webs start a flinging but I just loved every minute - 3D in my mind is maybe not worth the money its printed on but for my money - 2D was more than pleasurable.

Stone, Garfield, Ifans, Field & Sheen are all great - Cant wait to buy it - cant wait for the 2nd outing - if you re a Marvel fan then Stan Lee of course pops up (as if he wouldn't!) and I just believe if roles were written for anyone then Garfield was destined for this one since birth.

Well done Marvel - this one was worth the re-boot!

206, Chernobyl Diaries

Hands up all the Call of Duty' gamers in the house?  Well, a few thousand of you I'm sure have picked that fabulous control pad and shouted the immortal words 'FRAG OUT!' but if, like me you looked at the scenery and though "Hmm, that looks a nice place to go, Prypiat" then let me assure you - this will change your mind.

YES - you can actually go to the town just outside of Chernobyl where the workers and wives / children of the nuclear power plant lived and YES - you can only spend a short time there due to remaining radiation poising but come on, wouldn't it be cool?

I thought so too and I know this is only a movie but there is no way in hell you are getting me to Russia now - Red Square and Standard Vodka? Yes, Prypiat - Not a chance!

We follow a group of American backpackers - on their world tour which obviously includes a few hotties and idiot American blokes who decide to take Yuri (odd Russian tour guide) on his word and head off to the Nuclear site.

Brain power tells you that when the guard on the gate turns you around you take his advise and head back to the Vodka bar but not Yuri - he stupidly takes the back road and our band of holiday makers end up in the desolate and deserted site of the disaster that to this day is still considered one of our biggest screw ups.  Its got everything from the spooky woods to the radioactive fish and it doesn't stop there.

Things go really bad when it turns out the residents are still alive!  Yes my friends - its Zombie meets radio active freak show with demon dogs to boot but honestly, too its credit.  Its jumpy as hell.

There is no point in giving away the end - they either all die, all get out or only a few survive and I wont spoil it - but with radiation levels dangerous after 30 minutes and our intrepid bunch staying the night - what do you think?

Its a bit scary but probably not the worst you have seen this year and one of these movies where you think in real life - you'd have turned around!  Muppet's.  A pretty un-famous cast (similar to Skyline) but thanks to this movie - Prypiat wont be getting my hard earned dollar in the near future.

205, Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter

OH MY GOD!

I agree, sometimes stupid movies names come along - Hot Tub Time Machine was a classic example, so was Mega Shark V Gian Octopus but every now and again you just have to take in your stride the thought that maybe, just maybe one may ooze utter brilliance.

And here it is!

Abe Lincoln, maybe America's most beloved President - saviour of the Western world - Legend.  Vampire Hunter?

Well, not as we knew it but who gives a flying fox, this movie is drop dead brilliant with a side of gorgeous added along the way.

Firstly - forget your Twilight sloppy soppy love stories - in this, Vampires are mean, bad and eat people, violently!  Then add in Dominic Cooper, loved him in Devil's Double and now the bad-ass himself hunts Vamps!  Then, Abe himself - relatively unknown Benjamin Walker (only been TV since now) and the great Rufus Sewell (who I loved in Eleventh Hour - even though the TV network didn't) both brilliant.

I cant gush about this movie enough - the premise is epic - future American President cutting his teeth on evil Vamps in the light of the American Civil War - and an AXE!  - that just oozes hardness, not a gun or long sword but a woods mans axe coated in Silver.  Wicked!

But the best thing about this isn't the cast, or the plot or even the thought that America was saved from Vampires during the American Civil War but the look of it. 

Most of the modern world now have access to instagram - that cool app that lets you tweak photos so we can all pretend to be the David Bailey of the Millennium - well you know the Sepia look?  That slightly 'off' brown with a hint of colour, this movie has that embedded throughout - making it look as realistic as the 'wanted' posters of its time and on screen - in magnificent colour with jaw dropping special effects and an Axe wielding President, it just makes this movie the prettiest I have ever seen , EVER!

Yes its got blood and gore and yes - the final third of the movie has Abe as an old man with the iconic Beard and hat but the guy still kicks Vamp butt with amazing ease and the nice little twist at the end bringing bit back to modern times is well thougt out - there will be no prequel, sequel or re-make of this - its a one off and bring on the Blu-Ray - No excuses - go and see it!  

204, Red Lights

Here was I, hoping Red Lights would be a great little spooky thriller starring Robert DeNiro that focused on the goings on of the supernatural world - soon to be uncovered as fraud by an inquisitive and relentless Sigourney Weaver and Batman baddie Cillian Murphy who in their spare time expose supernatural nitwits while holding down university lecturing roles and show the world the underbelly of mass American hysteria against these righteous preachers who not only claim to heal the sick but speak to long lost relatives from beyond the grave.

Well, to be honest - my description of the movie above is already better than the result that has ended up on the silver screen.

Firstly, this is one slow movie.  It just randomly plods along with lecturer Weaver and sidekick Murphy taking slow steps to explain the actions of these fraudsters and this is then shown out with them bringing down an aforementioned wally who literally has spy's in the crowd while they are chatting and waiting in the queue taking notes, then having it fed to an ear piece and unsuspectingly automatically knowing every ones darkest secrets and feelings.

As you can tell - I'm not a fan of this stuff in reality or on screen - sorry!

Had this have been a non-stop gripping thriller with danger at every turn then maybe, just maybe I'd have been positive but it wasn't.

Each of these actors have excelled in roles - Murphy as Scarecrow (Batman), Weaver and DeNiro in too many to mention but think of them as flavours - Coffee, Real Ale & Chips - amazing individually but too much all on one plate!

There just wasn't the scope or depth in this to make it appealing and give the cast the chance to shine - what made it worse - the end was dull, quick and with no real explanation.

I hate slating films as I don't get paid for it and feel bad should the actors / cast etc read my blog (as I know a few have!) so please forgive me - I don't hate you personally - in fact, I love you all! but everyone has a bump along the way, hopefully this is yours out of the way (that is of course until DeNiro makes another Fockers movie, then its game over!)   

 

203, What to Expect when youre Expecting

Dont be fooled!  Like Bridesmaids, this movie was automatically be rolled out as a chick flick but for those brave male souls prepared to do whats right for the sake of their relationships and mutter the words, "Yes dear, I'd love to see that movie" you wont be dissapointed!

Although way past cinema release date, this blog is more for the DVD release but its taken me a while to find some time for the last batch of write ups.  Luckily, movies like this are simple to explain with  an easy plot, loveable characters and a funny outcome.

This movie charts the pregnancy of a handfull of couples who are all loosely linked to each other by 6 degrees of seperation in one form or another and although none rarely come into contact with each other - live out quite heartwarming stories that pretty much show off all tributes of pregnancy and whats endured by both the women and their hubbies involved.

We have the celeb mum, the expert mum, the golddigger mum, the young mum & the adopting mum who each play out their nine months of anything between endless joy and never ending trauma through the eyes of the viewer, each experiencing highs, lows and indifferences that really set the characters apart from each other.

All Mum's watching will at some point be able to relate to something that our female cast go through but never fear - theres something for the blokes in the audience too - The Dudes.

The Dudes are a goup of stay at home dads, linked to the J-Lo couple who have shunned the city life to allow their breadwinning wifes the chance to put food on the table and cash in their pockets while they take to the park on a daily basis and chew the cud with what would normally be gossip around a coffee table.  The magical phrase 'whats goes on in the park, stays in the park' sets up for some hilarious quips and quotes and led by Chris Rock, the Dudes manage to tick all marital boxes just as smoothly as the ladies in their lives could and it makes for a refreshing steriotypical rolem flipped firmly on its head.

To be honest - most of the characters are well acted, the story runs extremely smoothly and I don't really have a bad word to say about it but inbetween all of this there is a shining light, a stand out performance if you will by the best character in the whole movie - Jordan. 

Vic's (Rock's) son Jordan will have you in stiches each time he's on screen - the accident prone child who happens to be on the wrong end of many a tough tumble but even though its very wrong to luagh at kids falling over - you just cant help yourself.

Pair the above with some great stories including the rivalry between Dennis Quaid as the 'Alpha' dad and his underwhelming son who are both having kids at the same time, Quaid with a far younger model and his son, Falcone, who is hithced to a pregnancy expert who finds out that all the books stand for nothing just make this one a few great little plots that should keep many of you entertained.

Not a chick flick but at the same time, not one for a lads night in either - a nice little one for the lovebirds out there and for those of you who have had kids, you'll take pleasure knowing you dont have to go thorugh it again but appreciate the 'Aaaahhh' moments but for those comtemplating further additions to their famly - there may be a couple of game changers in this one!