208, The Five Year Engagement

If any film had an obvious plot line then its this one.  The whole movie is basically explained in the title so I wont need to go into depths about the ins and outs of the story line which means we can get straight onto the cast.

I'm an avid Emily Blunt fan - as a Brit and movie buff she tops many a list in my mind and in this again - she breathes life into what could be quite a hard role to play opposite Jason Segal.  I say a hard role but in gest its a role anyone could pull off - fiance' to a successful chef gets a break as a lecturer at a University on the other side of the country so she ups sticks and moves with a reserved but understanding Segal who gives up on his dream of becoming his own Head Chef to follow her to the back-woods.  Something he soon comes to regret.

With Blunts career blossoming its Segal who ends up having to endure the loathsome locals, dodgy jobs in sandwich bars, because his fine cuisine San-Francisco restaurant experience is laughed out of town and the comedy element comes mainly from Segal and his new band of very odd buddies as he tries so hard (with little success) to come across the loving partner and supporter to his future wife's ambitions to the point where (and I'm sure you have guessed) puts strain on the relationship.

And somehow I've managed to make the plot sound somewhat interesting and much more than the title initially predictable title.  I did enjoy this movie but sadly, I have one reservation - Jason Segal.

I just don't get him!  Some people find him hilariously funny - I just seem to think that he's somehow fluked his way into a Hollywood career and as a leading man - just lacks the power on screen to make his movies stand out.  He's cheesy in the Muppet's (I know everyone was but him especially) and in this, as co-writer he seems to only get roles he writes himself into - bagging two beauties in this (Blunt + a 23yr old waitress) I just think he;s the wrong type of person for this role.  I sadly don't even find him that amusing but I said the same about Jack Black at one point I recall and look how that turned out - He's a legend!

There ARE some funny moments - quite a lot of them in fact and blunt shines throughout. Ii only really laughed at Segal when he injured himself or went all 'Deliverance' about two thirds into the movie and the end is romantic, expected - but sweet.

I wish I was able to put my finger on exactly whats holding me back from sincerely gushing about this one, the Parents of Segal are both familiar faces and have lovely little cameos (similar in my mind to Hoffman and Streisand from Meet the Parents) and Blunts family quite comically, but sadly pass away throughout the movie but its written into a number of the gags so its accepted.

As a one off I suppose its worth a giggle - I cant see any scope for a follow-up here so if this is your cup of tea catch it while you can - its again not anywhere near the comedy value of Bridesmaids or even What to Expect When You're expecting and as I missed Friends with Kids I can only guess that this was also better.

Keep going Segal - I'm sure there's a movie coming up from you soon I'll love (Muppet's aside - but that was only Animal on the big screen that made me smile)

207, The Amazing Spiderman

What is so Amazing about the Amazing Spiderman? 

Sorry, but the Toby Maguire outings didn't do it for me, much like the Val Kilmer and George Clooney attempts at Batman made me chortle but then something happened.

Chris Nolan and Christian Bale took over and they became awesome, the final instalment being my most anticipated release of all time (ready D.Shields? - its on me!) - and I have to admit - a similar thing has happened here too.

Firstly lets take Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield, Social Network Dr Parnassus) He's brill.  He has the geeky adorability of Parker but without the nerd kicking in - Maguire was nerdy - Geek is 'chic' and the hoodie and skateboard element make intelligent 'street' once more - you could not have cast a better Parker.  Now for his love interest Gwen (Emma Stone)

Well, I wont deny I'm a fan - Zombieland and House Bunny - (not seen on many matching DVD shelf's but both in my household) a regular hottie, made out more often to be the geeky girl turned good shes a perfect match for Garfield.

Uncle Ben and Aunt May are played by Sally Field and Martin Sheen (brilliantly) and being 8th Welsh - Rhys Ifans is a household favourite.  Add in Dennis Leary in the role of the Police Chief (Spidermans equivalent of Batman's Chief Gordon if you will) and father to his love interest and things start to notch up a peg or two.

You cant fault this movie as far as Marvel heroes go - it needed a royal kick up the arse and with the 'Man of Steel' getting a re-do (again) Spiderman needed to catch up to Batman's prowess.  Sadly, its not as good as the Dark Knights control of the box office records but for a quirky little adaptation it doesn't go far wrong and with the sequel penned in for 2014 already it looks like success is expected.

The story starts a fresh so again - an hour of self discovery before the suit is donned and the webs start a flinging but I just loved every minute - 3D in my mind is maybe not worth the money its printed on but for my money - 2D was more than pleasurable.

Stone, Garfield, Ifans, Field & Sheen are all great - Cant wait to buy it - cant wait for the 2nd outing - if you re a Marvel fan then Stan Lee of course pops up (as if he wouldn't!) and I just believe if roles were written for anyone then Garfield was destined for this one since birth.

Well done Marvel - this one was worth the re-boot!

206, Chernobyl Diaries

Hands up all the Call of Duty' gamers in the house?  Well, a few thousand of you I'm sure have picked that fabulous control pad and shouted the immortal words 'FRAG OUT!' but if, like me you looked at the scenery and though "Hmm, that looks a nice place to go, Prypiat" then let me assure you - this will change your mind.

YES - you can actually go to the town just outside of Chernobyl where the workers and wives / children of the nuclear power plant lived and YES - you can only spend a short time there due to remaining radiation poising but come on, wouldn't it be cool?

I thought so too and I know this is only a movie but there is no way in hell you are getting me to Russia now - Red Square and Standard Vodka? Yes, Prypiat - Not a chance!

We follow a group of American backpackers - on their world tour which obviously includes a few hotties and idiot American blokes who decide to take Yuri (odd Russian tour guide) on his word and head off to the Nuclear site.

Brain power tells you that when the guard on the gate turns you around you take his advise and head back to the Vodka bar but not Yuri - he stupidly takes the back road and our band of holiday makers end up in the desolate and deserted site of the disaster that to this day is still considered one of our biggest screw ups.  Its got everything from the spooky woods to the radioactive fish and it doesn't stop there.

Things go really bad when it turns out the residents are still alive!  Yes my friends - its Zombie meets radio active freak show with demon dogs to boot but honestly, too its credit.  Its jumpy as hell.

There is no point in giving away the end - they either all die, all get out or only a few survive and I wont spoil it - but with radiation levels dangerous after 30 minutes and our intrepid bunch staying the night - what do you think?

Its a bit scary but probably not the worst you have seen this year and one of these movies where you think in real life - you'd have turned around!  Muppet's.  A pretty un-famous cast (similar to Skyline) but thanks to this movie - Prypiat wont be getting my hard earned dollar in the near future.

205, Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter

OH MY GOD!

I agree, sometimes stupid movies names come along - Hot Tub Time Machine was a classic example, so was Mega Shark V Gian Octopus but every now and again you just have to take in your stride the thought that maybe, just maybe one may ooze utter brilliance.

And here it is!

Abe Lincoln, maybe America's most beloved President - saviour of the Western world - Legend.  Vampire Hunter?

Well, not as we knew it but who gives a flying fox, this movie is drop dead brilliant with a side of gorgeous added along the way.

Firstly - forget your Twilight sloppy soppy love stories - in this, Vampires are mean, bad and eat people, violently!  Then add in Dominic Cooper, loved him in Devil's Double and now the bad-ass himself hunts Vamps!  Then, Abe himself - relatively unknown Benjamin Walker (only been TV since now) and the great Rufus Sewell (who I loved in Eleventh Hour - even though the TV network didn't) both brilliant.

I cant gush about this movie enough - the premise is epic - future American President cutting his teeth on evil Vamps in the light of the American Civil War - and an AXE!  - that just oozes hardness, not a gun or long sword but a woods mans axe coated in Silver.  Wicked!

But the best thing about this isn't the cast, or the plot or even the thought that America was saved from Vampires during the American Civil War but the look of it. 

Most of the modern world now have access to instagram - that cool app that lets you tweak photos so we can all pretend to be the David Bailey of the Millennium - well you know the Sepia look?  That slightly 'off' brown with a hint of colour, this movie has that embedded throughout - making it look as realistic as the 'wanted' posters of its time and on screen - in magnificent colour with jaw dropping special effects and an Axe wielding President, it just makes this movie the prettiest I have ever seen , EVER!

Yes its got blood and gore and yes - the final third of the movie has Abe as an old man with the iconic Beard and hat but the guy still kicks Vamp butt with amazing ease and the nice little twist at the end bringing bit back to modern times is well thougt out - there will be no prequel, sequel or re-make of this - its a one off and bring on the Blu-Ray - No excuses - go and see it!  

204, Red Lights

Here was I, hoping Red Lights would be a great little spooky thriller starring Robert DeNiro that focused on the goings on of the supernatural world - soon to be uncovered as fraud by an inquisitive and relentless Sigourney Weaver and Batman baddie Cillian Murphy who in their spare time expose supernatural nitwits while holding down university lecturing roles and show the world the underbelly of mass American hysteria against these righteous preachers who not only claim to heal the sick but speak to long lost relatives from beyond the grave.

Well, to be honest - my description of the movie above is already better than the result that has ended up on the silver screen.

Firstly, this is one slow movie.  It just randomly plods along with lecturer Weaver and sidekick Murphy taking slow steps to explain the actions of these fraudsters and this is then shown out with them bringing down an aforementioned wally who literally has spy's in the crowd while they are chatting and waiting in the queue taking notes, then having it fed to an ear piece and unsuspectingly automatically knowing every ones darkest secrets and feelings.

As you can tell - I'm not a fan of this stuff in reality or on screen - sorry!

Had this have been a non-stop gripping thriller with danger at every turn then maybe, just maybe I'd have been positive but it wasn't.

Each of these actors have excelled in roles - Murphy as Scarecrow (Batman), Weaver and DeNiro in too many to mention but think of them as flavours - Coffee, Real Ale & Chips - amazing individually but too much all on one plate!

There just wasn't the scope or depth in this to make it appealing and give the cast the chance to shine - what made it worse - the end was dull, quick and with no real explanation.

I hate slating films as I don't get paid for it and feel bad should the actors / cast etc read my blog (as I know a few have!) so please forgive me - I don't hate you personally - in fact, I love you all! but everyone has a bump along the way, hopefully this is yours out of the way (that is of course until DeNiro makes another Fockers movie, then its game over!)   

 

203, What to Expect when youre Expecting

Dont be fooled!  Like Bridesmaids, this movie was automatically be rolled out as a chick flick but for those brave male souls prepared to do whats right for the sake of their relationships and mutter the words, "Yes dear, I'd love to see that movie" you wont be dissapointed!

Although way past cinema release date, this blog is more for the DVD release but its taken me a while to find some time for the last batch of write ups.  Luckily, movies like this are simple to explain with  an easy plot, loveable characters and a funny outcome.

This movie charts the pregnancy of a handfull of couples who are all loosely linked to each other by 6 degrees of seperation in one form or another and although none rarely come into contact with each other - live out quite heartwarming stories that pretty much show off all tributes of pregnancy and whats endured by both the women and their hubbies involved.

We have the celeb mum, the expert mum, the golddigger mum, the young mum & the adopting mum who each play out their nine months of anything between endless joy and never ending trauma through the eyes of the viewer, each experiencing highs, lows and indifferences that really set the characters apart from each other.

All Mum's watching will at some point be able to relate to something that our female cast go through but never fear - theres something for the blokes in the audience too - The Dudes.

The Dudes are a goup of stay at home dads, linked to the J-Lo couple who have shunned the city life to allow their breadwinning wifes the chance to put food on the table and cash in their pockets while they take to the park on a daily basis and chew the cud with what would normally be gossip around a coffee table.  The magical phrase 'whats goes on in the park, stays in the park' sets up for some hilarious quips and quotes and led by Chris Rock, the Dudes manage to tick all marital boxes just as smoothly as the ladies in their lives could and it makes for a refreshing steriotypical rolem flipped firmly on its head.

To be honest - most of the characters are well acted, the story runs extremely smoothly and I don't really have a bad word to say about it but inbetween all of this there is a shining light, a stand out performance if you will by the best character in the whole movie - Jordan. 

Vic's (Rock's) son Jordan will have you in stiches each time he's on screen - the accident prone child who happens to be on the wrong end of many a tough tumble but even though its very wrong to luagh at kids falling over - you just cant help yourself.

Pair the above with some great stories including the rivalry between Dennis Quaid as the 'Alpha' dad and his underwhelming son who are both having kids at the same time, Quaid with a far younger model and his son, Falcone, who is hithced to a pregnancy expert who finds out that all the books stand for nothing just make this one a few great little plots that should keep many of you entertained.

Not a chick flick but at the same time, not one for a lads night in either - a nice little one for the lovebirds out there and for those of you who have had kids, you'll take pleasure knowing you dont have to go thorugh it again but appreciate the 'Aaaahhh' moments but for those comtemplating further additions to their famly - there may be a couple of game changers in this one!

202, Snow White and the Huntsman

I have to admit it did feel a but repetitive going to see this merely 2 months after watching Mirror Mirror which in effect, is the same movie but this seemed like a darker twist on the tale - more like the recent Red Riding Hood from last year which interested me greatly as there's nothing better than a fairytale made for grown-ups (and my weird love of Grimm on TV currently is just heightening the temptation to see kiddie tales gruesomely transformed somewhat), that is unless Tim Burton does them as Alice in Wonderland was just plain weird!

Its easy to get the comparisons of these two adaptations of Snow White sorted from early on - they are nothing alike. Whereas Mirror is a comical romp through the enchanted fairytale with a slightly hilarious queen and a number of adorable dwarfs & even a goofy prince in tow, this movie has zero resemblance - making it exactly what I'd hoped for!

Lets start with the plot. Most of the movie to be fair plays along with the original tale pretty closely - After losing her parents, Snow is locked in the tower by the new wicked queen, she escapes to the woods and then has the Huntsmen track her down through the Forbidden Forest, being rescued by a number of Dwarf's and then with the newly acquainted Huntsman on her side and an army bought together under the war colours of her Fathers true followers she seeks vengeance against the Queen to take back her kingdom and regain her rightful place on the Throne.

Just as you remember it right? but this is definitely a darker and more sword slaying adaptation that may not entirely be suitable for your Disney loving clan of under 5's. Charlize Theron (who now appears in back to back blogs) is brilliant as the Queen - totally vengeful and jealous of Snow's beauty and with a slightly 'too close for comfort' relationship with her brother makes a great villain - her hoard of nasties are also on track with her with the aforementioned Brother seeming to more worship his sister than answer to her. Snow herself (Kristen Stewart) and the Huntsman (Thor) pair off brilliantly together once they meet up in the Woods and it doesn't take long for him to see she's not all bad and switch sides to protect, rather than destroy our heroine.

Then there was a surprising twist - and one I though might happen after reading the previews but not to the extent it did. The Dwarf's.

They were brilliant - but surprisingly not your usual band of famous 3ft actors this time it was a far more recognisable bunch with Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins (okay, he's tiny anyway), Ray Winstone, Nick Frost & Eddie Marsan (to name a few) who strapped on the prosthetics and by what I can only assume was the same trickery that made Coltrane's Hagrid appear giant like in Potter, made our normal band of 5ft+ actors minuscule in comparison to Stewart, Hemsworth, Theron and the rest of adult sized brood.

They were violent, comedic & lovable and when you pair this with the true cuteness of their forest glade of a home, the residential fairies and the animal magnetism from Snow White, only really explained in the Disney original animated classic that this feels more like any fairytale adaptation yet to make the big screen.

The Battle scenes are great - there is a real medieval feel to them with molten tar being poured upon our troops as they battle the evil armies and then the Queen herself seems to be nothing short of pure evil when seeking her only requirement - eternal youth. Stewart has shown that there could be life outside of Twilight - although the Apple dare fall too far from the tree and Hemsworth - well, lets just say his Scottish is not great, but he's likable all the same.

If as an Adult you want a piece of childhood memory pimped up a little for modern times then this is the one for you - All the cast were great, the Dwarf's were excellent and it pairs the adorability factor nicely alongside all the blood and battle compared closest (in my mind) to Russell Crowe's Robin Hood.

Leave the kids at home, snuggle them down with the 1937 Disney DVD with Happy, Dopey and the rest of the animated legends and take yourself out to watch the real version - one that I feel would have made whoever wrote the German original in about 1812 very proud.

201, Prometheus

My anticipation for this movie was high - having originally believed it to be a prequel to 'Alien' and then having the entire cast at interview say its definitely NOT a prequel to then reading reviews saying it is a sort of prequel only with different characters only to then draw my own conclusions that have left me in no doubt that this movie is............................

Well, I'm not saying! but I'm sure each of you who see this will make your own judgements when you see it - just be sure to let me know what you thought!

This movie starts with the weird introduction of one of the Alien beings - right off the bat which is nice but slightly confusing as you'll see.  Then there is a bit of title sequence and we jump to the isle of Skye where an excursion unearths a few caves and the finding of some cave drawing aged at about 35000 yrs.  Once confirmed by two intrepid adventurers we then get a feel of the year - 2090 (ish) and now, outer space with an awaking crew after a 2yr stasis sleep on board the exploratory ship, Prometheus. 

It did amaze me that they at this point in the movie they decided to explain to the crew the mission they all signed up for, surely if you were going to miss 2yrs of your life there (and an expected 2yrs back) you'd want to know why before you counted sheep but our oblivious crew all seemed pretty happy with the fact they were sailing into the unknown, completely unknowing!

Captain Janek (Elba) is my favourite of the characters here - pretty laid back and chilled to whats going on around him but the intensity here is served up by Charlize Theron as the lady representing the company funding the mission alongside David the Android (Fassbender) who between them bring a slightly creepy side to the proceedings.

You'll notice Guy Pearce in the credits but I went the whole movie not actually noticing him it, but that was down to some pretty lengthy time in the make-up chair as he plays the ageing  Peter Weyland - the man behind the company represented by Theron.  We then have our explorers, Shaw & Holloway who are the excitable kids opening their best ever presents as they start to uncover the mysteries of the planet they have arrived upon and finally there is a mis-match of Biologists, Scientists, Pilots etc who make up the 17 strong crew of the Ship. 

That's everyone accounted for so whats this movie all about - Well, I was a little confused.  I don't want to entirely give the game away but its a search for the origins of the human race and the creators of it.  Questions need answering for our intrepid adventurers but before they get a chance to find the 'makers' they encounter some space nasties that kind of put a halt to proceedings and its becomes a survival lottery as the audience get to guess who get picked off next.

As far as special effects go - I was pleasantly surprised with this movie - the Alien world, its structures and 'residence'  were realistic and inspiring it just seemed to be let down a little by the speed of the story.  The whole plot just plodded along with a few storms and chases thrown in for good measure.  I only saw it in 2D but didn't really see how 3D would have made much of a difference - but I could be wrong.

To sum this up though I have to say it wasn't bad - it certainly wasn't as groundbreaking as it was built up to be but in my mind it was better than the slating I've seen it receive in some circles.

I have my feelings on if this is a prequel to Alien but as I said before - I'm sure you'll have your own ideas.  But if it is or isn't part of the grand scheme of things then as a stand alone movie it ticks a percentage of the sci-fi boxes so not all bad!

200, Men in Black 3

So here we are.  Blog 200!  Approximately 400hrs, £1600 in tickets (if I were paying full price),  & approximately £600 in M&M's and Coke bottles and I find myself amazed I made it this far.  Yes there are a lot of movies and some have been good, some bad, a few intolerable and happily, some real gems but with over 20,000 hits - followers in many European and and International countries and a solid UK audience its good that you've stuck with me and here's too the next 200!

MIB 3.  Cant wait!  MIB 1 was legendary and Will Smith as normal has continued to convert a simple kid from the Prince of Fresh into a global megastar who is responsible for one of my favourite movies of all time (I am Legend) so I had high hopes for this reincarnation after a break of 10yrs since the 2nd instalment.

J & K are back and after being partnered for what is about 14yrs now and still as dry witted and comedic as they ever were.   This time we find our two suited and booted alien officers come across an escaped villain from the newly created 'Moon' prison hell bent in jumping back in time and seeking revenge on a younger 'K' for taking his arm with the cost of his life.  Sadly, he succeeds and on a normal trip to the office, J realises something has changed.  Luckily the new commander and chief (O, sadly Z passed away) quickly believes his story (why wouldn't she!) and dispatches him back to 1969 so he can find K, kill 'Boris the Animal' and return the time line to its actual state.

They plot may easily lose some of the younger audience as this has been given a PG rating as its is easily kiddie friendly, albeit Boris is a bit scary to those under about 6ish but its all childish fun.  The time jump thing always needs explaining in some circles - I'm convinced I will at some point have to explain the mechanics behind the Back to the Future Trilogy and it doesn't get any easier but its one I'll happily continue to explain - as I love it!

This one however is explained pretty simply with no time space continuum ruined if future selves meet older selves and because of that it keeps it easy to read, act and understand.  Will Smith again is on form as previously mentioned but I found a new adoration for Josh Brolin - many of you wont identify him with his role as Mikey's older brother in the Goonies (I didn't) and in True Grit he just seemed a little creepy but this role was perfect - the Tommy Lee Jones accent, well he matches almost to a complete tee and even manages the brow, wit and charm of his alter ego only this time, a little more relaxed and comedic.

The special effects are pretty impressive - easily up to date with modern requirements and the soundtrack is back with the same beat and vigour as it always had.

In my mind - this is the best of the three, proving that if you take a classic, don't rush it - add the same brilliant ingredients but with the added extras of extra cash, computer technology and a new twist you'd have to be pretty stupid to fail.  Not only did they manage to combine all the above but they added one of the cutest twists at the end and this one will bring tears to your eyes - no matter who you are!

This is a brilliant third instalment and from this alone I hope they make a 4th - shame is, Brolin wont be involved as surprisingly enough Will managed to sort everything out in the end but I'm sure you guessed that.

Enjoy!

199, Dark Shadows

Here we go - another totally 'original' Tim Burton movie which previews relative Burton newcomers Depp and Bonham Carter in what looks on the surface like a spooky romp through a ghostly looking house with a few vampires thrown in for good measure.  What a nice change! 

Okay, so I'm being sarcastic and in the main - Burton, Depp and Carter collaborations are expected every few years but for me, the franchise is wearing a little thin. 

I'm sorry guys - but I'm getting a little bored with what is now a repetitive and pointless romp through spookyville and Depp has proved in recent years he is capable of sooooooooo much more. 

Dark Shadows introduces us to the live of Barnabas Collins.  A son of a business leading aristocrat living in the 1700's.  As heir to a the Collins empire, so vast the town was named after them a young Depp ignores the lusting allure of a housemaid only to be cursed as a vampire and buried alive for 200 years when the alluring maid turns out to be a witch.  Skip forward to the 1970's our hero's coffin is located and Depp is dug up only to seek return to the family home and request solitude alongside the slightly odd Collin's dwellers now in residence.

The issue I had with this movie was the actual point of it - Burton seemed to chuck his entire arsenal at it with Depp having to switch from comedic vampire, stuck in the future and having to deal with life's little upgrades which added a chuckle and a skip along to the Addams family ensemble but a few seconds later he goes all 'Hammer Horror' and rips the throats out of some hippy dudes just chilling with a simple spliff.

The other thing was the speed of the movie.  I reckon if could of been over in 45 minutes if they all spoke normal speed but its just seemed.....................to....................drag.......................on.........................and........................on which I'm sure is the vampire way but it was slow, dull, uninteresting and repetitive.

The king of vampires Christopher Lee even managed to snag a cameo but even he was under used and relative pointless.  Bonham Carter seemed to be there just because her hubby was directing in a role completely insignificant to the plot and in the worst latex body suit ever perceived which made her more look like the trunk of a tree with boobs resting under her chin than the seductive demon'ess' we have grown to love in the Potter movies.

Then there was Johnny Lee Miller - Lets just put it this way - Johnny, I still (to this day) love you as Sick-Boy in Train spotting and I for one will never forget your stunning role in my favourite movie of all time (Hackers) but you came across weird and unimpressive.

The final disappointment was Chloe Moretsz (Hit Girl from Kick-Ass)  I REALLY want to like you, honest - I really do - her portrayal as the knife wielding psycho kid in aforementioned movie was awesome but its all gone Pete Tong and for some reason at the end of the movie she 'transforms' (no actual spoilers) but there is no explanation and it just automatically didn't fit!

HOWEVER.......................

Pfeiffer and Depp were on top form - proof again that talent is what talent does and these two have more than made their mark in my mind and regardless of plot, supporting cast, story, Director etc still bring their A-Game at each occurrence.  Depp was funny, suave, gruesome and I feel that if this does well then its him carrying Burton and the day Johnny says no to Tim is the day Tim's stops to make movies.

Pfeiffer is always a goddess - regardless.  Love her.

So - its repetitive, boring and slow - if you've seen one you've seen them all.  I hope, should anyone of note read this they can take constructive criticism well as Burton and Carter reside in the same village as my Mum and I'd hate for her to be ignored at the Bakers. :)

 

198, Safe

For most of you, this will have already been and gone by the time this blog hits the Internet but that's only because I've taken a while to write it but sadly, (and as a Statham fan I cant actually believe I'm saying this) in my opinion - it wasn't one of his greatest.

The Statham I know and love is responsible for some of my favourite movies such as Death Race and Snatch and even the totally O.T.T Crank movies make me smile, his performance in The Expendables is perfect, he does London 'Hard man' better than Vinnie Jones and with a string of ex-beauties including Kelly Brook in his wake he pretty much gets the 'Lads' vote time after time.

This movie seemed a step back for him and in what seemed a very over exaggerated storyline it was just not as believable as it could have been  A child genius is used by the Triads to memorise a very long number of which she quickly deciphers its a hidden code.  After escaping her Triad 'fake' dad she is chased down by the Russians, the Triads and NYPD and Statham witnesses her being chased through a subway station by some familiar mobsters so steps in and becomes guardian angel to our little phenomenon.

The thing that got me was there was not a straight, decent cop in the whole movie! Normally there's at least one or two but his entire ex-department, their chief AND the Mayor were all on the take and I just wondered how N.Y had not collapsed in on itself with so many enforcement officers taking back handers?  I know its being picky but some form of realism normally plays out that one or two are dodgy but he whole department?  Come on guys - you can do better!

Statham himself offered nothing really new and exciting - this just seemed like a time time filler to build up to the Expendables 2 launch but even Statham could have picked something slightly better.  The fighting was basic and the finale was over all too quickly with what seemed like a bit of a wuss out.

Its a short blog because there is really nothing much to say.  Its not 'shockingly' bad but its certainly not one of the best movies you will see all year and with so many great movies hitting the screens over recent weeks there is plenty more to spend your money on.

197, The Dictator

So this blog is really going to set the cat among the pigeons - as I'm sure in certain circles the movie also manages to do.  Ali G, Bruno & Borat all managed to set Sacha Baron Cohen away from the rest of the pack - daring to go into areas and subject matters that very few others would and for most of the time its worked.  there was a slightly odd incident with the Kazakhstan government basically declaring themselves outraged but then I read it saw an increase in their tourist trade by something daft like 300% so it seemed to all work out in the end.

This one however is a little closer to home with his character (Aladeen) being portrayed as an Eastern Dictator with a loathing for the Western world and not only is it current, but when the whole movie is dedicated to the loving memory of Kim Jong-Il then you know its going to be one of those marmite movies!

Well, lets start with the most poignant bit - John C Reilly as the American Security officer is responsible for looking after the unwanted visitors and drops the line about him taking down the Empire State Building and there is a whole helicopter scene that with subtitles is completely innocent but for the American tourists also on board - plays out like a 9/11 re-enactment and this could obviously strike an offensive chord with many of the viewers but if you take it for what it is - and that is definitely more of a dig at what Aladeen represents rather than an American slating you should be fine.

So that's the political views out of the way - now onto the actual comedy element.  This movie is a very funny and completely inappropriate laugh-fest which is executed brilliantly by Cohen.  The additional castings of Ben Kingsley, John  C Reilly, Anna Faris along with many other sees he has possibly moved himself up the food chain a little and the cameo from Megan Fox is one of the best personal send ups any celeb could ask for.

In Wadiya, Aladeen's home country he as much revered as he is feared and there are some very funny moments, mostly already seen in the trailer from the Wadiyan Games and the hoard of virgin female guards at his beckoned call but underneath it all ,Aladeen is seen to be a lonely and deluded individual who's trip to America not only helps to slightly calm his loathing of the Western World but even fall in love with one of its residence, albeit a tree-hugging humanitarian which on the surface is as far removed from Aladeens beliefs as possible but strangely it works - brilliantly!

Obviously, this movie certainly wont appeal to everybody in the same breath as Ugg's for men is deemed cool but nevertheless - if, like me you are pretty much open to a full blown 'leave your conscience at the door' and take it with a pinch of salt then you will definitely see something unique and extremely funny but I know that those who find it hard to see how someone can take the tragedy's of many recent events and base a movie character around them, especially one who's hiding Bin Laden in his back bedroom then maybe I suggest you give this one a wide birth.

Funny for some - not for all but if you can separate your emotion then you may find something worth watching.

196, American Pie Reunion

Growing up when I did, by the time American Pie 1 came along I was able to easily relate to the antics of Jim, Stiffler, Kevin, Finch and Oz as I think most of us can.  Who cant remember a time in their past when they've been caught in an embarrassing situation or got all over-romantic with a girl.  There are even the times when our confidence has been at an all time high or sometimes we even let the inner geek out for a while.  If so, then you too can see why the American Pie movies (not including the Band Camp one) appealed to so many people.

Jump forward over a decade and again I easily managed to relate to the now adults our once high school kids had become.  Kids are on the cards, jobs are taking over and we attempt to seek some form of link to yesteryear, maybe deep down wishing we could still keep up the pace of our younger rivals but in actual fact - probably just better off sitting the occasional all-nighter out once in a while.

Well, The American Pie Re-union is everything mentioned above.  The whole cast from the original movie return and each turning out pretty much as expected.  I wont give away any secrets about our leading lads but lets just go to say there are no real surprises. 

The coming together for the reunion is a fitting tribute to their antics of old and now seemingly rivalled by the current throng of teenagers taking over, our slightly older and obviously comedic crew end up throwing their own style on proceedings with some old school humour and actions that only seem good at the time but as with the American Pie tradition - nothing really seems to go as initially planned.

At the start though its nice to see them all in their new surroundings but from the outset its Stiffler I was disappointed with.  His 'jokes' and actions made me feel that although trying to keep with continuity from the originals they hadn't cleverly moved on and he seemed dated and out of touch with the rest of the movies pace but its only a glitch and pretty soon he'll have you chuckling along with the 'ice-box' incident and the finale of the movie is so rewarding for him (you'll see!)   

As expected - there are some great scenes between Jim & Jim's dad that are as awkward and 'wrong' as any father / son chats should be but brilliantly written and acted to show a turning of the times with the advice now being dished out by Jim himself after the sad death of his own Mom, helping his dad try and move on with his life but the chemistry between them is as fresh today as it ever was - they've even rolled out Stifflers Mom again and her and Jim's dad could easily be Hollywoods most adorable couple!

For the new breed of viewers for this movie you really do need to go back to the original and familiarise yourself with the plot, cast and characters otherwise so many of the in-jokes will be over your head but if like me you saw these when they were made then this brings it all rushing back and I felt no need for any form of refresher outing to dig out the back catalogue and re-identify with them - the movie does that for you.

Its 'gross-out' American Pie fun, exactly as you'd expect it to be and with the entire cast returning including Sherman, the Milf Boys and even Jim's (now viral) sex tape getting another outing it just reminds you of how good the originals were and this just brings it all back home nicely.

Don't bother if you've never seen the first batch but if you have - this is a must!