84, Season of the Witch

Sometimes a good old historical romp is well received.  14th Century Knight's, battling for the Church in the Crusades, defeating army after army until one day the killing of innocents becomes too much and Cage & Pearlman decide to go rogue until they are picked 1 month on and rather than face imprisonment & death for desertion they agree to transport a Witch to a monastery for a trial and execution which should rid the land of the plague cursed down upon them.

So, all happy then!  Nic Cage & Ron Pearlman play the comrades in arms who agree to transport the Witch across country only aided by Tommy from "Snatch", a priest and a few others.  Cage is back to his long haired look with his not so funny one-liners and Pearlman is the hit first, speak later character who seems to tag along as a sidekick / body guard.

The Witch herself was quite a good performance, a young girl who keeps you thinking for the first half of the movie if she is good or bad until what I initially though would be a spine chilling, hex cursing, good old fashioned rumble in Ye Olde' World Jungle quickly becomes something quite different indeed.

Sadly, this is a slow paced, disappointing movie that could have been so much better.  As regular readers will know, I try wherever possible not to dish out spoiler alerts but deserves a little 'heads up'.

She's not a Witch.  That does not mean to say she isn't "something" - but alas, not a Witch.

So the real question is, do you want to spend 90 minutes going to see this and work out for yourself if the outdated special effects that would look as at home in "Jason and the Argonauts" as they do in this, 48 years later on is worth your hard earned time and money?

For me, Not so.  I am hoping that Cage's next outing in "Drive Angry" is better than this so heed these words - don't cancel any plans to fit this film into your diary.  If you end up lost, confused and at a Cinema with nothing else to see and its not raining, then go an watch it.  But if the sun is shining - work on your tan instead!!!

See this if......................................................its in Screen 8 - then you can snooze throughout!!