234, Parental Guidance

There is always something scary about going to see a 'U' Rated movie that's not a cartoon. 

Normally they are total wastes of space B movies that somehow made it onto the big screen and seemingly with no focused audience - any ones welcome.  Due to this they are normally full of unfunny jokes, lame plot lines and predictable endings so when Billy Crystal (Oscars Legend) and Bet Midler (old female singer) paired up for a movie alongside the always sublime Marissa Tomei I wondered what the hell Hollywood had prepared for me this time around.

Well, If I ever wanted to feel old - this is the movie for me (I'll come back to why, later on).  Basically, this film is about a modern day couple who on the outset are living the American Dream in a 'hi-tec' Eco prototype house, designed by hubby (Tom Everett Scott) who for his endeavours is about to receive an award for the years best invention (the digital house) so with the chance of a week away (in corporate bliss!) it becomes apparant they have no choice but to get the folks in to babysit the kids. 

Crystal and Midler play the 'other' Grandparents - 'her' folks who are the out of towners and always too busy to keep in touch - not that they don't want too, just life's too busy!.  Well, on this time of asking it turns out that Crystal has just got the sack from his job as a Baseball commentator from the local league side (which he loved!) and with nothing else to do (and the hands on grandparents out of town) our inexperienced and aged twosome have to man-up and take charge of three little cherubs who don't do sugar, love tofu and need councillors for speech therapy.  Recipe for disaster!

Firstly lets talk kids - all are brilliant - you will shed a tear at the end in awe of the achievement of the eldest boy and the youngest tugs on every heart string you have - the 'going-on' teenage daughter is reminiscent of every young girl in today's world so imagine the carnage when two ill equipped grand parents end up in charge for 7 days.

Roll on a barrage of old school parenting tips that just don't seem to cut it in the modern world and you find yourself chuckling along to Billy Crystals random take on a life where discipline seems to have been thrown out of the window and instead we have a deep and meaningful movie about how potentially not to being up kids and the problems in believing in modern methods.

And its here that I apologise for having my moment.

Forget the movie - its dull.  Yes, its an American 'suit all' premise with family friendly gags and a real sense of duty among those who go and see it but for me (and I refer back to 'feeling old' comment) I have to agree with the 64 year old Billy Crystal's character (Artie) who throughout the entire movie fails to familiarise himself with a speech therapist who doesn't use speech, a Baseball league that doesn't allow winners and a bully who we're not allowed to say Boo! too.

This movie is transparent to modern day life itself - for those of you who have somehow come to the realisation that allowing your own offspring to get away with murder (almost), in a culture where smacking is outlawed (debatable) but most importantly - in a world where kids have zero concept of the world outside the You Tube perception that an on-line and potically correct life is adequate need to take long hard look at themselves.

Billy Crystal - I Salute you! Bet Midler, as a pole dancing nanny - you get my vote.  Old folks rule! If you're taking life too seriously - go and see this movie.  For me - well, me and my family are off to the park for some of that old fashioned thing called - Fresh Air!

Go do the same. Rant over - enjoy the movie!