119, Blitz

3 things commonly make a great movie.  1, Its got Jason Statham in it.  2, Its set in London & 3, Its not called "Attack the Block".  So - all boxes checked - here we go!!!

Firstly, lets start with the 18 certificate that Blitz has been labeled with.  Not worthy! Yes its got a lot of violence but no sex and not a single actual gory moment, however its funny how the introduction of a single word can send people into a mad frenzy when rating movies.  So, to be specific (but not too much as I know the little kiddies read this) it has got every body's favourite swear word in it - one that only gets banded about in either extreme confrontation or that of a giggling group of friends but definitely not one for polite conversation.  And that in a nutshell is the dilemma of making a movie an 18.  Moving on........

Statham does what he does best.  A gritty London copper, plain clothed and a bit on the edge as the movie opens with him taking a hurling bat to a gang of car thieves outside his apartment / flat.  Then the credits role - so, nice guy? Well.  Yes.  He is not a dirty cop, just likes to dish out punishment to those deserving of it and his softer side comes to light a few times with his slightly odd couping of the new Gay Superintendent, transferred from Posh London to the S.E to head up the criminal unit after the untimely death of his predecessors wife leading to a leave of absence.  Between them they are like Kenneth Williams meets, well - Jason Statham!  but its has his funny moments and Statham dishes out one liners as quick as he does broken noses while keeping it non-cheesy and specific.

With an all British cast its not just Statham that stands out, Zawe Ashton (Bianca in St Trinians 2) is brilliant as an ex-undercover junkie cop who is crying out for love and support and has grown up a hell of a lot since beat boxing in Frittens Dorms!  The other cops and The Blitz himself are also brilliant and mostly are all recognisable from TV dramas.

Its great when this kind of movie comes along.  America hype up cop movies with all action, over the top drama that is well received but not ordinary of maybe an LA freeway or a New York suburb.  We manage to keep all the action and suspense while at the same time make it believable, down to earth and entertaining.

Imagine Bad Boys or Mission impossible on a smaller scale? - They would not work and they don't have too.  They make big budget worth it but this does not need the glitz and glamour of huge names - Statham is a main attraction at the best of times but in this he truly does show his down to earth roots and is backed up brilliantly.

As you can tell, I thoroughly enjoyed this even with the "C" word thrown in a few times and being a cert 18 kept the noisy kids out which left me, My wife and about another 200 movie goers in silent awe as the 90 minutes barrelled past like a freight train to Alaska.

If Pirates 4 left you excited then this a happy "down to earth with a bump" movie and one completely deserving of awesome write ups. I hope you read this Jason - Keep making them and I will keep watching them!

See this if...............................................You're proud to be British (or if American, which I know about 1200 of my readers are, This ones ours!  MI4 is yours)      

118, Pirates of the Caribbean - On Stranger Tides

Instalment number 4.  For those who have started losing count it all began back in 2003 with The Curse of the Black Pearl, then in 06 & 07, Depp had back to back releases with Dead Mans Chest and At Worlds End until we find ourselves in 2011 with Stranger Tides.

There are notable unfamiliarity's, the sad losing of original cast members Bloom & Knightly in my eyes are greatly missed but with Sparrow, Barbossa & Gibbs all in attendance and the great additions of Ian McShane, Penelope Cruz & Stephen Graham as Blackbeard, Angelica & Scrum with a cracking 30 second cameo from Dame Judy. D leads to a pretty impressive cast listing, even without our much missed British double act.

So where are we - well, there is no mention of Bloom & Knightly to start, Barbossa has switched sides to the British Navy and Sparrow is still without the Pearl, taken from Barbossa by Blackbeard.  Sparrow is in London and hears that he is supposed to be collecting a crew to seek for the fountain of youth - an apparent impostor! on investigation he discovers that its old flame Angelica (Cruz) pretending to be the wayward captain, working on behalf of daddy dearest, Blackbeard himself.

Everyone meets up and Blackbeard, The Navy and a gaggle of Spaniards all race to find the fountain of youth by the way of collecting some Goblets and a Mermaids tear.  Sorted - Ahoy me Hearty's!!

I love a good pirate movie - the first three had me in stitches with laughter at Sparrows antics and the colour and settings of the Caribbean always make the dullest, rainiest days seem a joy to behold.  I was a little worried out Knightly's departure - she always bought something demure to being a pirate but Cruz manages to take over quite seamlessly, a pirate from early on she carries the charm and charisma of any of her male compatriots and manages to make a name for herself in this very male environment.

McShane as Blackbeard manages to balance evil with a small touch of mercy brilliantly and has always been destined to play this role - even since the early days as Lovejoy!  Barbossa is his normal craggy self, now minus a leg and Scragg, the new chatty pirate played by Stephen Graham (Tommy from Snatch) is as dumber a pirate as you could have hoped for.

The mermaids are tantalisingly graceful but there is not an "Ariel" in sight as these ladies of the deep are as deadly as they are beautiful and the collection of a single tear proves harder than you may believe.  But not all is lost, as you will see - they are not all like it!

There is no real plot spoiler here - its a road movie on boats with swords and as with the previous three its Johnny Depp who steals the limelight.  Depp is again amazing and I believe he truly loves this role, maybe above all others.  He IS Jack Sparrow.  Cunning, devious, funny, witty, charming & deadly, a lovable rogue.  And he continues to get better and better with each outing.

Its a good 2hrs this one and being a 12A there are some jumpy bits - We saw it in 2D but no matter - the cinema was still full and although you could tell the bits that would have jumped out at you it was a joy to behold as much without the specs as I am sure it would have been with them.

I might wait to see if there is a Fifth on the way in the next few years but if not - then the box set might be a great little investment.  There has not been a pirate franchise like this before and there probably never will be again - Not a bad word.  Loved it.

See this if..........................................You're partial to a bottle of Rum!

117, Attack the Block

So, it's National Lottery funded "Film 4" presentation time once again.  These pop up every now and again, a low(ish) budget Brit flick movie with a wholly English cast, set in a realistic UK setting with a plot as English as time itself.  Quietly brilliant.

Until now that is.

I could not wait to go and see this movie.  With comical legend Nick Frost starring I was easily expecting a great reprise for him to the screen after Paul, Hot Fuzz etc and hoped that A.T.B was going to just another great string to his bow.  The trailer looks hilarious - a group of South London youths who witness an alien invasion and rather than get the cops involved, tool up and decide to take down the unidentified menace themselves!

That is the basis of the entire plot sorted.  Nut comedy? Uh......no.

If this was meant to be a funny film then I totally missed the plot.  Was it meant to be an actual serious alien attack movie?  Probably - its just a shame though as it did drama and seriousness relatively badly, humour even worse and acting, well lets just say there was a reason why most of the cast have only done small TV roles until now.

I cant totally slate it though - I did find the gang in question relatively amusing with their South London quips and their blatant disregard for law and order.  The backdrops were well utilised of the council estates with the darkened corridors and back alleys proving quite a scary playground for our alien invaders.  Which brings me onto the Aliens themselves.

Either to save on costs or for any other given reason the creatures were pretty featureless except for a glowing blue set of chompers.  Balls of hair and teeth, jet black in colour with no facial expressions they just gave the appeal of brainless drones and I suppose this was the intention but it was just predictable and pointless.

Written and Directed by Joe Cornish (from Adam & Joe) I was hoping he was progressing towards becoming the 2nd Noel Clarke.  Noel, Coming from TV and penning such great movies as Kid & Adulthood and 4.3.2.1 I fully expected this to be on the same level - dark, gritty and real.  Instead it fell on its arse.  Heavily.  It's easy to see how Frost got involved, Cornish starred in Hot Fuzz & Shaun of the Dead so its more a friendly favour from Frost, rather than a contractual obligation.

I wish I could say something more positive.  The lead role, Moses was okay, the supporting cast (including Frost) were slightly dull and "Hi Hats" was a total waste of space.

I would rather sit through eyeball surgery then watch this again.  I am not one against swearing, violence or attitude in fact, I welcome them in my movies but this was just poor.  On all levels.  Sorry Joe - Stick to 6 Music.

See this if.........................................
Right, at this point of the blog I usually come up with a quirky one-liner which defines my own feelings or comparisons to other movies that you may like, allowing you to make concerted judgements on if you also choose to spend your hard earned cash on release.  However, on this one, the blog may turn you off going but in all honesty - its not all that bad and although probably belongs in the "straight to DVD" cabinet may appeal to some of you.   

SO, with that in mind, See this if..................................kids and knives and bikes and guns and aliens and gangsters and gangs and BMW's and mopeds and blue teeth and quiet neighbours and drugs and baseball caps and samurai swords and petrol filled supersoakers and wheelie bins and afro's and security doors and meat wagons and tiny tempah specs are your thing.  If not, dont bother. :-)

116, Hanna

To date, there have been a few movies with a female child assassin.  Leon, more recently Kick-Ass but this one is a little bit different.

The movie opens in the icy wilderness.  A lone hunter is tracking a deer with a bow and arrow and strikes with almost pinpoint accuracy.  After she proceeds to shoot it point blank in the head and gut the poor beast she is crept up on by a hooded figure who claims "you're dead" a fight breaks out and our two characters proceed to battle in a "mortal kombat" style with the older male pulling no punches about giving the younger female a kicking.  After our hunter takes a small initiative it becomes apparent that this is not ordinary 16 year old Justin Bieber fan!

Father and Daughter, living together without any outside influences for what appears to be her entire short lifetime.  Initially, there are lines and plot stories spoken about that don't make any sense at this point but luckily the film story pans out to explain everything along the way.

Hanna, played by Saorise Ronan has previously had a few good roles in City of Ember, The Lovely Bones and most recently, the Way Back (See Blog 81) but this is definitely her best one to date.  She is brilliant.  Dark and deadly with an air of slight anonymity she is keen to discover her true identity and that of the world around her.  Trained solely by her father, Eric Bana - an ex spy turned rogue, hiding out for his own, and that of his daughters protection the pair are living out a quiet, nomad existence until it becomes time for her to spread her wings, knowing the whole time that when she does they will both be hunted down.

So here come the bad guys!  Led by Cate Blanchett, playing a slightly less darker version of her role in Indie 4 with a strong Southern accent leads the US government's spook division aided by quite a camp little blond oddball with two skinheads as back-up.  Not your first choice of government heavies but under the radar and a nasty temper as lethal as their dress sense!

A tiny cameo from who I believed to be Gemma Arterton goes completely uncredited so I am not even sure if it was her.  If so, the threw her hat into a tiny role after some recent big hitters - hope things are not drying up for this english rose.

Its a strange one this, I enjoyed it but there were parts that did drag out quite a bit.  The small battles that take place are well executed and Hanna is definitely the kid at school you want in your corner!  She bunks in with a travelling family, led by UK legend, Jason Flemyng but its his daughter in this that gets the laughs - the same age as Hanna but from oh, so different backgrounds.  Its her british wit that grabs some of the few laughs in this and her sweet naivety of the big wide world, tied up in her small "Hello magazine" outlook on life.

12A this one and there were plenty of kids in the audience but as mentioned in The Priest (Blog 116) certs seem to be relaxing - My 7 year old could have come along - but no chance!

If deep and meaningful is your thing with a slightly odd requirement of seeing kids kicking the crap out of bad guys then you will love this!

I was in a packed cinema and although there were a gaggle of chuckling teens behind me I managed to zone out and enjoy the movie.  hopefully you will too!

See this if.................................you want to see what Hit Girl would be like, all grown-up! 

115, Priest

Its about time we had a proper vampire movie.  No room here for floppy haired, pasty "don't want to eat anybody" wimpy heartthrobs.  Vamps should be nasty, no mercy critters with a true thirst for blood and look mean as hell to go with it.

Set in an apocalyptic "Mad Max" style world we have 2 races, Humans and Vampires who have warred for years with the humans apparently becoming victorious under the lead of a group of Priests.  A legendary martial arts & weapons trained fraternity of biblical worshipers who defeat vampires with swift ease and deadly style.

We are quickly bought in to this realm buy a great little 5 minute anime cartoon which shows the story of the great war and how the humans come to gain supremacy over the vampires. 

After being sent to prison camps the vampires are supposed to be a distant memory until an old adversary shows his head again and leads them to a 2nd coming.

There are some great parts to this movie.  Firstly, the lead Paul Bettany is his normal amazing self and carries this type of role easily as he did in Davinci Code, just not as evil!  On a mission to rescue his niece from a rogue vampire squadron our hero breaks his code of secrecy and heads out into the wasteland to take on an army of blood sucking Vampires.

This is a 12, not a 12A and in 3D there are plenty of jumpy bits to keep you on your toes.  Certs have definately got a bit more relaxed recently, my daughter could have seen this but I am convinced she would have jumped right out of her seat!

With other vampire movies the vamps are just like humans with dodgy teeth and a slightly "near death" complexion.  In this, those stereotypes are there but called "familiars", humans who have sided with the vamps - the actual vampires are hideous, blinded, all teeth, animal like creatures who awake at dusk with only one thing on their mind.  Living in hives they excrete, eat and roar their way through desolate wasteland, demolishing everything that comes in their path.

I was not expecting great things from this movie but I was completely overwhelmed. 

I loved it. 

The effects were great, the battles were epic, the weaponry on show were impressive and the motorbikes with their tagged on jet engine and 300mph thrust buttons were awesome.

There are plenty of other great actors in this and all playing great roles but its actually all about Bettany.  He rocks in this and if its still on at your local multiplex and you fancy a bit of an unexpected thrill then check this one out in awesome 3D before they take it off.

Hopefully you will love it too!

See this if.......................There is more to Vampires than a floppy hair cut!

114, Insidious

Categorically speaking, I don't do horror films (See Scream 4 Blog), but Scream 4 is not a Horror.  It's Hollywood's interpretation of a glamorous slasher movie.  Boobs and knives etc.  On the other hand Saw, Hostel, Hills have Eyes etc are also not scary films.  Sometimes they are gross out blood fests that make you squirm and in my case as it was with Hostel, feel a little queasy but again, not pinned to your seat, white fear kind of stuff.

Jump back a few decades.  As a kid I sneaked peaks at Poltergeist, Amityville etc and they proper freaked me out and I sadly cant comment on recent outings with Paranormal Activitie(s) so going into this one was a bit of an experience.

Firstly, I had to look up what Insidious meant!  My love of Russell Brand does not always stretch to his vocab talents so,  Research was required;

Insidious - Adjective

1. intended to entrap or beguile: an insidious plan.
2. stealthily treacherous or deceitful: an insidious enemy.
3. operating or proceeding in an inconspicuous or seemingly harmless way but actually with grave effect: an insidious disease.

Hmmm.  Nice!

Yes, its a scary movie - I dare the toughest of you not to jump even a little bit at a number of points throughout and I have to admit, slightly sweaty on the palms - I jumped, but not a proper scream out loud, popcorn in the air, kick to the back of the head of the guy in front kind of way.

The plot is a simple one - sweet young family move into nice big Amityville style property (should have seen the signs early!) and after a short time the son falls into a coma.  Wifey staying at home while husband skirts the issue by working longer hours etc.  Then the ghosties start to appear, and not Beetlejuice stylie ghosties.  Actual creepy ones.  The main, resembling a nasty version of Darth Maul but there are a few that jump out at you throughout.  To try and fix this, they move house, but the trouble moves with them.  More ghosties thrown together with knocks, bangs and hand prints lead to a bit of a spine chilling adventure until an unlikely combo of old friend / demon hunter and her "Egon Spengler(ish)" like double act of assistants descend to film, capture and send home the Demons from within.

Each of the cast plays their parts brilliantly - the movie even manages to get a slight chuckle towards the end with a "my flashlights bigger than your flashlight" moment and I am not even going to tell you if there is a happy ending! Like me you will have to sit through the 90 minutes of thinking if you are actually going to scream like a girl in public (which I didn't) or if this is another disappointing outing from the movie people trying to be scary.

Either way - for an up to date psychological thriller it definitely ticks lots of boxes.  Horror film though? Well, not really.  But I urge you to take someone slightly less brave than you and make them see it, as I did.  And that is where this blog resolves, in a heartfelt thank you to my wife.  Although she shares a name with the leading character (which really did not go down too well) she manned-up and sat though her worst nightmare purely because I asked her too.  Yes she got scared, Yes she wont ever go again but to those who know her personally, She deserves a big well done!!

See this if................................you want to relive those early scares of 80's Horror in 2011.

113, Red Riding Hood

Having seen this trailer a while ago it had "Tim Burton" written all over it, bit with the lack of any casting from Bonham-Carter it became apparent that he actually had nothing to do with it.  Instead it is Twilight Director Catherine Hardwicke who has turned her hand to recreating one of the most famous tales of all time.

And the comparisons to Twilight are remarkable!  Okay, so there is no Vampires but the wolf is played out as a Werewolf, initially being thought to live up in the mountains but after the arrival of Werewolf & Witch hunter Gary Oldman we discover the enemy lies withing and one of the villagers has a dark secret to hide.

All throughout the movie they play around with who it might be, little snippets of eyes and voices, statements etc lead you down a few paths but when the wolf is discovered, well................don't panic - I'm not that mean!

The best bit of this is the set.  A small village in who knows where, snugly settled in the forest with log cabins and open fires.  Given the constant snow cover, quite a warm and cosy little hamlet.  Being Hollywood, most of the village ladies are stunning!  Amanda Seyfried leads the way in a slightly more darker role than she has portrayed before as our normal on screen Sweetheart has taken a bit of sinister, troublesome teen turn as Valerie, our lady with the Red Cape.  Other famous faces include the already mentioned Gary Oldman, Charlie from Twilight (Billy Burke) and a welcome return (albeit quite short lived) from Stargate legend Michael Shanks.

So, the plot - Well, after 10 or so years of peace due to regular annual sacrifices the "wolf" has left our little village of wherever alone.  A medieval cluster of blacksmiths and farmers live out their basic lives until the Blood Moon bears down upon them and the Werewolf returns to reek havoc on this unlikely band of warriors. 

Thinking they have killed it early on, (very "Jaws") a band of soldiers, led by a Priest arrive with a manner of traps and tricks to lure the beast out for capture but there is more than just meets the eye and the wolf has rhyme and reason (and quite freakishly) a voice for what its doing and goes about a particular line of attacks to get what it wants.

The special effects are not as good as Twilight, the Wolf in particular is quite lame in comparison and up until it speaks to Seyfried I was totally into the movie - but then it just gave way a little.  not sure why, it was a good film but just got a little cheesy in the middle.

Dont let this put you off though, Grandma's house in the forest is brilliantly made and there are the "Grandma, what big eyes you have" lines thrown in for good measure.  Having Amanda in it means there has to be an underlying love story, which of course there is so the romantic ones out there will have something to celebrate but being a 12a the most you get to see is a slight roll around in the hay, not a full on Medieval romp, but never mind.  There is always next time!

That's it really.  The movie does leave a few questions, mainly how is everybody keeping warm in frilly summer dresses in the deep winter snow but that's just me being my normal over analytical self, ignore me.

Is it for the kids? Well, its a 12a but after having mine now forever petrified (to the point of tears) of clowns after watching "The Hole 3D" I tread a little more carefully when approaching this slightly bewildering age certificate.  Personally, my 7 year old would have been frozen to her seat but 12 and above, they should be fine. 

Its not around for much longer so if like me, this is the only thing left at the multiplex still to see then catch it while you can.  It wont win any awards but it fills a Sunday evening.

See this if.....................................................What big Teeth you Have!

112, Arthur

30 years ago, Dudley Moore reigned supreme as one of the silver screens comedy greats.  Arthur was a movie about a rich singleton, slightly eccentric with a passion for all thing immature and a love of booze, women and frivolous behaviour. 

Then its ultimatum time, marry up or lose everything - To Susan, an up and coming business elite who can run the family business and carry Arthur into his elderly days being kept in the life he is so accustomed, or check out.  No cash, no fortune. 

Constantly shielded by Hobson, the ever present Nanny, Arthur's relationship with his Mother is only a backdrop to the real parenting that comes from this ever loyal employee but, can our demur hero make the right decision to secure his own future happiness?

WOW! What a deep and meaningful description.  So, that's the 1981 version taken care off, now onto the 2011 one.  Well, please see above!

Its almost exact, one of the closest remakes to an original I have ever seen, even down to wearing Abe Lincolns hat in the bath tub.  Except, Hobson has moved from the late great (male) Sir John Gielgud to the ever so heavenly preserved (female) Dame Helen Mirren (who, by the way is by far the best thing in this movie, closely followed by the cars!)  Russell Brand replaced Moore as the British eccentric billionaire and Linda becomes Naomi, previously played by Liza Minelli, now Greta Gerwig.

Now for the brutally honest bit.  It was a bit Cheesy.  Especially the first 20 minutes or so.  Don't get me wrong though, this has Russell Brand written all over it and after reading his Booky Wook 2 recently the lifestyle is pretty well matched to the the man himself and currently, I don't think anyone could have pulled it off better.  But its obvious in my eyes that the only reason it was remade was because Russell Brand exists.  Its definitely not got a single scene with the leading namesake not appearing at some point.

I mentioned that Helen Mirren is the best thing in the movie.  And she SO is!  She switches between snooty Nanny and best buddy seamlessly and loving her as I do, she can look after me any day!

Due to the "lifestyle" portrayed, the movie has scope for the dream lifestyle and this was delivered brilliantly at the end where almost every dream movie car appears in a convey of greatness, even down to a very shiny Mystery Machine.  The Chauffeur, Bitterman is laughably the most visually funny with Brand bagging 99% of the one liner gags, most at the expense of unwanted bride-to-be Jennifer Garner.

Based on my love for all things "Brand" I feel obliged to endorse it.  It might not be every ones cup of tea but it keeps you amused and it tugs the old heart strings along the way.

Garner as a drunk pussy cat is a little scary and Nick Nolte as her dad appears old and frail but fair game to him.

Blog over.  Enjoy.

See this if.....................................its hard to believe that 30 yrs has already passed! but the classics remain.

111, Thor

Thor, God of Thunder and Son of Odin; King of Asgard.  Brother to Loki and keeper of Mjollnir, The Hammer. 

A story of Myth & Legend handed down through the ages, and now forever on the silver screen via Marvel? Who knew Stan Lee is creating Gods now, as if Super heroes were not enough.

Anyway, Here we are in a Hero movie of Historic proportions.  Thor is cast out of Asgard after, on the word of his treacherous brother defies his fathers orders and sets attack to the Frost Giants, an act that sees him wrongly cast out to one of the realms governed by King Odin.  Earth.

In Asgard, Thor is an arrogant dick and its only when he comes to Earth and bumps into Natalie Portman and her mini band of astro-physicists does he mellow out a bit and understand the true meaning that power is earned as with respect and not handed out lightly!

WOW!  This is a great movie.  Natalie Portmans 3rd since Black Swan? (how many movies in a short space of time?.... and she managed to get pregnant along the way!) she is brilliant in this one - definitely more credit worthy than "Your Highness" and hopefully one she wont be embarrassed by, she rocked in this.  The star through and through though is Thor, played by Chris Hemsworth (Home and Away? and Jim Kirks Dad in Start Trek?) is relatively unknown, however with two more movies due out this year, the Thor video game and reprising Thor again in the 2012 Avengers movie there is a bright future for this Aussie Beefcake (Much to my Mrs delight!)

He is very funny when dealing with the human element of Earth with no real understanding his demeanour shines through and coming into contact with things like Tazers and patio doors are laugh out loud funny.  Hollywood elite in the form of Renee Russo and Anthony Hopkins take their roles as Mum & Dad and what Marvel movie would not be complete with the godfather of comics, Stan Lee himself popping up for his guaranteed 3 words in every Marvel Flick.

It cuts between hick U.S town and marble & gold clad Heavens with complete ease and the story jumps around at the start but easily manageable and a joy to watch.

This is a 12 movie, nothing scary - no sex or bad language just great action, special effects and laugh out loud jokes.  Saw it in 2D so cant really comment on if I felt i missed out but the film was great in 2D so my recommendation is not to bother.

Marvel Hero? - Well I did not think so, Stan is working off of someone elses creation here unless Thor was an Avenger (and he probably was in some form or another).  There is a great Iron Man / Stark quip which most may miss but its there and you will be easily forgiven if like me you were convinced that Gerard Butler played on of the Warriors; Three.  It isn't.

See this if...............................................you like your Thunder with a hint of Comedy!

110, Fast Five

Very rarely (with the exception of Crocodile Dundee II) does a sequel outshine its original.  By the time your to installment 5, those movies that have made the distance have normally lost all the original cast, defied all plot logic and are purely expecting attendance based on previous glories (Just watch Police Academy: Assignment Miami to see what I mean).

Luckily, this is about to buck the trend!

Not only did they call back all of the original cast members from all 4 of the previous movies (that who survived at least) but also managed to add some extra big names to the already impressive list to deliver in my eyes what is an awesome movie.

There is no denying that since The Fast and the Furious came out back in 2001 I have had a thing for these movies.  I love the cars, the action, the sheer greatness of the stunts and Messrs Mark Sinclair Vincent & Paul William Walker just seem to get better with age. 

Fair enough, I genuinely feel they only truly shine is these movies, Sadly I don't rate Walker in much else and Vin's showing in the Pacifier was easily forgettable, luckily though he is set to come back in XXX the Return of Xander Cage later this year so look out for that one!

First off then let look at our likely rabble of hoodlums.  We have Dom & Brian along with sister Mia & Vince from movie 1 who make an appearance, then Roman & Tej rock up from the 2nd outing, Tokyo Drift star Han is a pleasing addition and there are some new additions in the form of some comedic Brazilians and a hottie biker chic.  Sadly its missing the lovely Michelle Rodriguez (due to an untimely death in No.4) however she is referenced throughout.  As a crew they seem unstoppable and all play absolute blinders.

Then the backdrop - Rio is awesome.  Fans of C.O.D will instantly recognise the Favellas as our unlikely Heroes bounce of rooftops and rip up back alleys to deliver a mind blowing, jaw dropping action flick that does not let up from start to finish.

Now the Cops / FBI.  Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson looks bigger and tougher than ever as Hobbs, the agent tasked with bringing down Dom & Brian and surprisingly enough, only David from "Numbers" was the other recognisable face.

The action is better than you can expect with chase after fight after chase taking place and the way the director draws you into the action and car chases is breathtaking.

I know movies like this never get the recognition from the Academy or Awards ceremonies but this one should.  Its an all out action entertainment fest - the 2hrs flash past as quickly as the cars in it and the explosions and guns fire off more rounds, both for and against our heroes from end to end.

The comedy element is strong throughout with Roman and Tej bouncing off each other like a modern day Two Ronnie's and the subtitled Brazilians get more laughs than everyone else put together.

I could go on and on about this one but I think this is enough - For me, its got everything I love in a great movie.  Normally by now I would say enough is enough but please please please, make a 6, 7 & 8 - I will keep paying!

See this if...........................................any of the previous films made you smile, this one will blow your socks off!

109, Scream 4

Scream 4 or "Scre4m" as its billed in cinemas is probably the first "horror" movie blogged since this pages inception back in 2009.  There is no particular reason for this only that on the whole, horror's just are not my thing - not that I'm scared (as I man-up for you all) just feel they are repetitive and have the worst story lines, action, budgets etc of modern genres and if like me you like your movies big budget with guns, explosions and cars then Fast & Furious 5 has far much more appeal...........................

However, Scream 1 holds a special little light for me.  Don't know why, maybe its the casting of some of my favourite actors, Neve Campbell, Drew Barrymore (albeit a few moments), Matthew Lillard, Skeet Ulrich etc and most iimportantly, led by Wes Craven this movie kind of poked fun at all horror movies, not in a "Waynes Bros" style way but in a genuine "this always seems to happen" sort of way.

So going back to see Scream 4 after not even remembering if 2 & 3 were any good was like a Horror homecoming back to 1996 and one I was really looking forward too.

It opens brilliantly with great poke at not only its own franchise but that of the Stab movies, based on the factual books written by a fictional character outlining the fictional story that made the first movie factual? - got it - anyway, its tongue in cheek and a few celeb famous faces pop up for a few minutes each before getting their "Drew Barrymore" style exits and this get repeated a few times before the actual movie get going and these are quite funny. 

Whats great though is that the humour continues - there were more laughs than screams from the audience, not that's its not scary but when you are expecting someone to jump out from every wardrobe or leap out from every bush or closed door then when it happens you are ready for it! - the only actual jumpy bit for me was when a car nearly pulled out on a bus - Bet you do too!

So Sid is back, Neve returns to Woodsborough on the anniversary of the original killings, Dewey is now the Sheriff, still with Gail Weathers in tow and this time he has a cute deputy which - in true horror style is reflected in the rest of the cast - gorgeous babes, a few hunks and a couple of geeky movie buffs.

All the specific requirements for a Scream movie are back - even cheesier than before.  As expected - the audience is led to believe Ghost face is certain cast members but is it them really? - MMMWWWHHAA HHAAA HHAA !! (Evil Laugh?) I am not saying who the killer is but its a goodie!

Its not that scary, its quite funny - and I genuinely though an 8" blade through the forehead into the brain would result in instantaneous death, however Anthony Anderson (Who has lost a hell of a lot of weight since Transformers) manages to get out a car, stagger about 10 feet and talk before biting the bullet!  Legend, and that's the only spoiler you are getting.

Roger Jackson returns for a 4th time as "the Voice". Neve still looks fab, Courteney Cox and Arquette are now looking old and the rest of the "college girls" are as hot as you would have expected - yellow bras to boot! and Hayden Panettiere is quite sexy and grown up, even without the cheerleader outfit.

Sadly the Trailer does give away most of who dies and who does not so does Sydney finally get the death that 3 movies so far have yet to manage? Wait and see.

A great end to a franchise of movies (hopefully, no one wants another Saw epic) that have as much as a laugh at horror movies as they can without getting stupid and maintaining a slight element of surprise.

I loved it.

See this if..............................Do you like Scary movies? (Obviously!)

108, Rio

So here is Easter Kids Movie Number 2 and if you been to the cinema at anytime since Christmas by now the Rio "Orange" advertisement is probably driving you insane! Which is why having this movie rammed down my neck twice a week for the past 3 months was wearing thin and I could not wait for it to be over!!

But, its all about the kids and stuff so Orange annoyance aside, I settled down to live out the most anticipated animation of the year so far.

We saw the 2D version, purely as times suited and after seeing it in fully believe the 3D version would actually be quite impressive.  Getting a bit bored of saying this but again, animation and effects were breathtaking so as normal, its all about the voices and cast.

The leads include one of my favourite ladies, Anne Hathaway paired with Social Network & Zombie / Adventure land hero, Jesse Eisenberg who managed to seem even more nerdy and high pitched than normal as his namesake, Rio.

The stars though are Jamie Foxx and Will.I.Am as Nico & Pedro, the all singing, all rapping native birds who help Jewel and Rio escape the evil clutches of Marcel, voiced by Carols Ponce (or for those who don't recognise the name, the Yoga guy from Couples Retreat!) who is great.

The backdrops and music are fantastic, the kids will love it and the story is fast paced and punchy.  Okay, so its still only an animated kids flick and in my eyes, slightly better than Hop but seeing as its Easter, don't choose - take the kids to see both!  oh, and don't forget to buy Harry Potter on DVD this week also.

See this if.........................................There is no escaping this one! Oranges fault, Sorry.

107, The Roommate

When we realised this movie was not playing at Rochester we were gutted! Sadly, Rochester Cineworld is classed as a Family Cinema, so at times like these, Kids films take preference over sometimes better, grown up ones!  Ashford however is not burdened with this requirement so its 12 screens are normally filled with all manner of releases and the odd kids flick so off we went, all 26 miles to see a film both my wife and I had greatly looked forward.

What a disappointment!

All that way for what ended up being a low budget, badly acted rip off of Single White Female! (which by the way is 10 times better)

No famous names worth mentioning unless billy Zane as a pervy fashion lecturer is anything to go by and cheap, less attractive versions of Megan fox and Ferne Cotton taking the lead roles.

I would love to have something positive to say about this one.  Its a cert 15 but in reality, a Stanley blade as a murder weapon and a dodgy shower scene do not make for the ranking, The Hole was scarier! and that was a 12A.

Normally by now I would have checked out the cast on IMDB to try and gauge some element of salvation in previous roles or upcoming movies that would make the Roommate look like a slight discretion on their CV's, however, with the lead role going to Blair from TV series Gossip Girl and the leading man being James in Twilight (slightly more reputable) Billy Zane is still the most recognisable!

Sorry guys, let down and disappointed.

See this if..........................you cant afford a £3 DVD of Single White Female!

106, Hop

Its Easter time and what kind of parent would I be if I did not get dragged along to at least one of the two big Easter Kids releases.  Hop focuses on the life of the son of the Easter Bunny.  EB has been told all his life by his dad that he is destined to take over as the Easter Bunny but when the time actually comes, all EB wants to do is be a drummer!

He escapes from Easter Island to seek his fortune where he meets a down an out bloke who cant hold a job, together and with the help of the Hoff they both realise their own potential, even under threat of capture by the Pink Beret's and what results is a voyage of self discovery and family values!!! Bless.

So, did that make it sound riveting enough for you?  I hope so as with most of the other animations around its hard to fully review them critically as the sounds, visuals etc are always fantastic and Hop is no exception.

Its only in 2D this one so no need to disappoint the kiddies with the cheaper option and as before with other movies, its visually stunning without the requirement for specs and with a great cast and soundtrack it makes this movie one parents wont mind sitting through as well.

Russell Brand and Hugh Laurie are fab as the father / son combo of EB and his dad and the human element, added by James Marsden is cheesy but well played.  But its the voice talents of Hank Azaria (Simpson's) who really takes the credit for the comedy element in the form of Carlos & Phil.  For those of you who don't know, Hank plays a number of voices in the Simpson's, including Chief Wiggum, Apu, Moe, Snake and many more so multiple roles are no new thing to him and with the legendary role as Gargamel in the upcoming Smurfs movie, 2011 & 2012 are going to be epic for him.

The real star of this though is whoever does the drumming.  From the Bongo's to the remix of Dynamite this is some of the best drumming I have heard in a long time.  I did not wait for the credits but whoever you are..........well done.  you made my toes tap constantly throughout.  I thank you!

See this if............................................Easter is the next best Holiday to Xmas!!

105, Source Code

Whats going to be great about this blog is there is absolutely no guarantee of a spoiler!! but that's probably because even after letting it simmer for a few hours I still don't actually get what happens!!!

So its complex, i.e don't see it unless you are completely sobre and have nothing else rolling around inside your mind! - it needs that level of concentration.  Which for me was a little too much to ask after a full weeks work!!

We have our Captain (Gyllenhall) who wakes in a sort of odd chamber / capsule thing, its "Groudhog Day" (or Groudhog 8 minutes) as he keeps re-living the last 8 minutes of a Teachers life on a train, prior to it exploding and blowing everyone up - the mission, find the bomb, bomber and reasons to avoid further catastrophe.  So that's it really.  but how does it work?  Well, that's the source code - an 8 minute window when our time is up that captures the previous moments to the end of our lives, allowing another to re-live them and use them to our advantage - confused?  Good.  Then we get into alternative realities so if you think "Inception" was complicated - this is on another level.

For those who pay attention there may be questions at the end - my wife and I for example left with completely different ideas of what happened - and the car journey home was spent debating each others points across.  Both made sense, but in the end, take from this movie what you want to.  And that's a good thing.

The cast if pretty good - Gyllenhall takes most of the credit along with Michelle Monaghan as his leading lady.  Back at HQ (non-train cast) we have smaller roles from "Up in the Air" female, Vera Farmiga and new(ish) Bond CIA liasion, Felix Leiter - Jeffrey Wright who are standard in their parts.

Add in a dodgy bomber and an America's Got Talent comedian, plus a few normals on the train and that's the cast sewn up.

I not sure if recommending this is a good thing - probably because after reading this back i have confused myself as to whats happens at the end but without telling you my philosophy on the outcome, you see it and mail me with your ideas - if they match then I'm right!  if not - then we both are!!

Its intelligent, well thought out and was a close contender to sucker punch which was also on - I guess the girls from the orphanage will have to wait another few days yet!!

See this if..........................................Its time to engage brain again!!   

104, Faster

So this movie actually came from now where, no trailers, no idea!! I know "The Rock" is starring in the new Fast & Furious movie due out this year but "Faster" on IMDB was labelled as a 2010 release?  anyway, Randomness over and onto the movie.

Firstly Dwayne,  Now back in the WWE for a while all prepping up for Wrestlemania XXVII he is definitely back to his normal uber-muscly self.  He is HUGE in this one, playing an ex-con back robber on the hunt for the gang that ambushed and killed his Brother after a bank raid.  So he's a nasty, but as with the best movie, one we are on side with.  As with Fast 5, he plays a cop but we all know even though he's the good guy we are rooting for Walker & Diesel to get away - and the same with this one.  Yes he's the bad guy but when the "competing" cop assigned to the case turn out to be drug addict, generic loser Billy-Bob Thornton (In the movie that is - Loving the Thornton!) They do seem a little mis-matched.

Luckily there is another card to this deck, a successful British assassin, also assigned to take out Johnson as he starts picking off one by on the crew that originally took him down.

This is a gritty action movie - visually dusty, it is set mostly on the back roads of the more "under developed" USA and that makes this a great backdrop for this movie.  Thornton does not play New york Cop very well but in this he is brilliant.

Now onto the Cars, this could be a great intro to Fast 5 with Dwayne's choice ride being a 1970's Chevelle SS (OMG! Its a beaut!) and the Assassins being a hot Silver Ferrari.  Its easy to name the characters also, yes they have names but they are billed as Cop, Driver, Killer, Guard, Telemarketer, Receptionist etc - the list goes on which make the plot simple.

Cop wants Driver Dead. Killer wants Drive Dead.  Driver wants everyone else Dead.  Easy?  Good.

I really enjoyed it.  The Rock looks awesome and if like me your a true Wrestling fan from days gone by i am about as excited as the Peoples Elbow returning to the big screen as I am the 5th Fast & Furious movie and now I am all revved up and ready for some great Summer Blockbusters to fill the blog space.

There is a great twist at the end of this that some of you may work out, albeit not me!! and its worth it.

If Cars, Guns and a gritty story line are up your street then this is for you.  Think "Payback" but with a bit more meat in it.  That should get in you in the right frame of mind.

I cant really fault it - Loved it.

See this if........................Can you Smeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllll what the Rock is Cooking!