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Wednesday, 4 August 2010

50, The A-Team


In 1983 there was no Internet, everyone had only 4 channels on their TV & Radio was a bit crappy.

Saturday nights for an average family was spent in front of the TV and with only 4 channels to choose from, viewing figures were easy pickings for some of the top shows and in its prime, The A-Team held an audience in excess of 20 million viewers and only recently matched by the X-Factor Final. It was one of TV's most popular shows and if you were, like me an 8 year old boy the following statement meant 1 hour of pure bliss was about to begin.....

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The A-Team."

INFAMOUS!!! so when I heard about a big screen movie some 27 years later I could not wait. And was it worth the wait!!

DEFINITELY.

Our movie starts with the A-Team meeting up for the first time, Hannibal & Face are already acquainted and they pick up BA & Murdock along the way. They complete 1 mission before the film leaps forward 8 years, still together and currently "not" wanted by the government and having completed about 90 missions together they set out on a gripping hunt to rescue some US dollar mint plates and tee off against / with (you can work it out) the CIA in a bid for truth, justice and the American way.

The star of this movie is far and away Murdock, if you have seen "District 9" he is the main guy and he is hilarious from the 1st second he starts talking. You can easily be forgiven for thinking the 1st hour of this is an outright comedy. Even the action sequences are tinged with hysterical laughter and it mixes it all beautifully, resulting in some great (albeit it slightly over the top) special effects and action sequences that set this film above pretty much everything else this year.

All the 4 main guys (and even Jessica Biel) is great, Lynch (CIA) is the funniest bad guy I have seen in years and my wife fancied the pants of of Face!! (but I think that's the way they wanted it!!)

BA is tough but sweet and Liam Neeson is a very convincing as Hannibal - it pretty much ends where the TV show starts so, a prequel is the mind set you need when you sit down but the ending leaves room for a sequel and I hope to god they make one (wait as I check IMDB....) nothing yet!!

The A-Team Van only appears at the start for a few minutes which is a shame but you quickly forget as the "warehouse full of rubbish / becomes utility vehicle of war" takes place a few times (an A-Team classic) and there is a few moments where the famous theme tune kicks in, only for a few bars but you get that tingle run through you.

Enough said, NEVER...I could gush for hours, I want it on Blu-Ray for the Flat Screen, DVD for the Bedroom and Digital copy for the ipod and I will be queuing from day 1 to buy this, might even take a 2nd trip to the cinema!!

If you remember the A-Team as a kid then see this film - it will make you laugh out loud at a funny South African man doing a Braveheart impression and if that is not reason enough, then read on....

See this if...(you guessed it) YOU LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER!!!

Sorry, could not help myself!!

Thursday, 29 July 2010

49, The Karate Kid


First of all, lets get what we are all thinking out in the open.

The original Karate Kid, although now considered a cult classic was not the best movie ever made. Ralph Macchio never looked "hard" enough to be a karate champion and the shameful 2nd and 3rd follow-ups just made it even worse.

So when this came out part of me hoped it would be a "re-working" like The Italian Job or the soon to be releases Sorcerers Apprentice not a "re-make" like Wicker Man but believe me that barring all but two (or maybe three) differences this is an exact replica of the first film, even down to the damaged leg in the final fight.

But after 10 minutes it did not matter.

Change 1, it takes place in China. Change 2, the "Crane" is now the "Snake" and Change 3, they are all little kids.

In the 1st movie our hero had left college, was able to drive and was pretty dependant. This was okay but in the new movie our 12 year old mini "Will Smith" is totally adorable and what makes it even better is the 12 year old bullies look tougher than the adults did in 1984!! Add in the fact that he plays a part that is so familiar to parents with teenage kids I fully believe that barring the money and fame, he is no different to my own brood with their mess, cheek & humour!

The fight scenes are awesome, probably to do with Jackie Chan's input and after memorable Chan movies like Police Story, First Strike and Operation Condor you know that his fight scenes are quick, funny and completely unbelievable. This is replicated here and the laughs come as often as the ouches!!

You should know the plot, kid gets a kicking, mentor steps in, becomes teacher, honour is defended in tournament, film over. Don't think that knowing the outcome will ruin the experience as this is a thousand times better acted, shot, located & choreographed than the original and you actually believe that Jaden Smith could kick ass!.

It may have helped that "Mum & Dad" produced the movie with Will & Jade Pinkett on site in China to keep an eye on their "more than average" teenager and the first "screen kiss" for Jaden must have been a bit odd with the folks looking on, but there is a reason why this little "soon to be superstar" got top billing over Jackie Chan, he is amazing.

He acts well, fights brilliantly and the "balcony splits" make the best of us wince. Add in the fact that he is still just a kid and already has the swagger of Mr Big Willy himself shows that given the right guidance, scripts and helping parental hand this guy could go along way.

The "wax on, wax off" has been replaced with "jacket on, jacket off" and this did get a bit repetitive but the whole movie (all 2hrs 20 minutes of it) passes like lightening and the finale hits with a sweeping rush of joy and lump in the throat!! All I heard was praise from the crowd and for the first time in my cinema experience I heard a ripple of applause at the end!!

There is a bully, a baddie teacher, a girl, a kiss, a car, a fly swatting moment and more pokes at the original (in-kind) that you could ask for which makes for a funny, witty, fast paced, well written film that I dare you to dislike!!

Not a bad word on this one, I would see it again tomorrow and it definitely hits the blu-ray Xmas list for me.

Age?, 6 & 11 year old girls were hooked throughout and both my wife and I loved it. I don't think I have written a bad review since Brooklyn's Finest but I would watch this a hundred times over rather than a single re-sit of that one!!

If you have daughters that want to be the next "Mrs Bieber" then hang around for the end credits. The final song shows that Smith Jnr cant only just act but takes in daddy's footsteps with a rap as well!! alongside Mr Bieber Fever himself. Too much of the "gag" factor for me but what can you do!

See this if................You like to see old dogs learn new tricks!!

Monday, 26 July 2010

48, Inception


Hmmmmmmmmmm, right. Here goes.

Firstly, if you are hoping that this blog is going to explain what the film is all about, think again.

All I will say is be prepared to have to really keep your attention levels at their finest from start to finish during this one, a slight "wee" break or even dropping your Pepsi bottle will be sufficient time to miss key info and lose your place.

You should be able to work it if your GCSE level was above +4C's and if I said that at one point the film is operating with our actors on 3 levels of sub consciousness at the same time with levels of dreams interlinked with subliminal story lines and different scenarios including flight, arctic conditions, floating buildings and Juno being her amazing self then you are only just understanding the depth this movie goes too.

And what a movie!!! If you manage to keep up it is action and adventure flick from start to finish, definitely one of the best films I have seen all year and after Shutter Island, DiCaprio has once again proved he is becoming a true master of the thriller epic leaving his "boy next door charm" on the Titanic and who cares what was eating Gilbert Grape!!

I wont even get into the special effects!! - beautifully staged and believable to the end (if folding a city in two is believable!!) but seamless - this could have made a great 3d film!!

So, onto the rest of the cast and my favourite is far and away Tom Hardy. For those that watched "The Take" (the 4 part TV drama) and like me thought, "Hang on - this guy is awesome!" will not be disappointed. He is a funny, hard, gun totting, tough guy with a quick wit and a dodgy beard but is amazing in the role and in my mind is the best thing to hit Hollywood from England since Knightly bent it like Beckham

Its a "kids become grown-ups" cast with Ellen Page (Juno) playing a very smart uni grad and finally, oh joy!, a film starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt that does not include the useless title (and plot) of 500 days of Summer - Sorry but it was a total donkey.

Michael Caine makes a brief cameo and an bloody old looking Tom Berenger pops up which was a bit weird - definitely exposing the " If Mickey Rourke can do it...so can I" philosophy - but credit due, he was not that bad!

That's the main actors covered - everyone was great and i was totally hooked for the whole 2hrs 29 minutes, not even an achy leg and I was in the hell hole Screen 4 - bloody uncomfortable seats!!!

After two animations back to back it was great to engage the brain once more and even though its a 12a don't bother taking anyone under that or it will be question after question and you will find a "matrix" style flying fist leaving your seat space and entering the persons next to you as the slightest crumple of a popcorn bag is enough to jog your thought train and you might as well start all over again.

I don't normally gush this much but if mind bending thriller is your cup of tea - then buy a ticket, take a seat, move all other thoughts to one side and give this film the credit it deserves.

Film of the year? Its definitely up there.

See this if..............you want to feel all clever - if only for 149 minutes.

Wednesday, 21 July 2010

47, Toy Story 3


Two kids films back to back but I suppose its inevitable as the Summer holidays kick off!! Get them out the way early leaving room for the A-Team, Knight & Day & The Sorcerer's Apprentice - but back to the matter in hand.

The 3rd installment of this classic trilogy sees Andy all grown up and facing the dilemma of moving to college and what to do with his toys. Bin 'em, Donate 'em or Store 'em? oh the joys of kids plots - nice and simple.

After a few Miss-understanding and some jaw dropping special effects (to a 6 year old anyway) a majority of our toys end up at Sunnyside Daycare Centre (playschool) and we are introduced to the seemingly lovely, cuddly and over welcoming residents who suck our heroes into the life of a disused toy and all the joys it can bring. Blah Blah Blah - trickery, lies and deceit follow and our toys end up having to look for an escape plan - predictable, Yes. but good? GREAT!

The star of the whole movie this time is not Buzz, or even Woody but Ken. Voiced my Michael Keaton (the 1st Batman) he is hilarious, definitely gets most of the gags and the Ken / Barbie bits are "laugh out loud" funny.

Then there is a plot line about an evil abandoned bear who smells of strawberries and his sinister allies. The Monkey is the scariest for little kids and there is a jumpy bit, but on the whole its lighthearted, funny and enjoyable.

Age? maybe down to at least 4 years old would sit through it and my 6 year old was captivated. As far as "happy endings" go for a moment I thought the whole thing was going to end with severe tragedy, but knowing that there is no way the producers would let that happen soon realised what I was about to witness was probably the "happiest ending" I have EVER seen in a movie. Its totally adorable and, (although they probably won't) leaves the door open for Toy Story 4,5 & 6. but I thinks this one has done its due and done it well.

We saw it in 3d but again I felt let down - for those of you that have gone to Thorpe Park or Legoland and watched their 4d adventures they REALLY work - things popping out right in your face and using the same technology I just wish the movies would replicate but they are all mediocre, scenic dimensional attempts, opting for utilising perspective and depth rather than "jump out" visuals so if you get the chance, save the cash and see it in 2d. However, the cinema was totally sold out, even the front rows and the number of "non-kiddie" groups was astounding. Dates, teenagers, even die hard action nuts were queueing and the laughs from the parents overwhelmed the kids.

This is the best Kids series of animations to date and the 3rd just adds a new depth. It's great. See it now, even if its just for Spanish Buzz - he is awesome!! and a quick not to parents - watch through the credits. Humour to the very end.

See this if...............you got a friend in me!! x

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

46, Shrek - Forever After


Not to sound cheap but we went to see this in standard 2d, however when we arrived the projector was broken so with a 6 year old in tears we got a 25 minute wait and a free upgrade, specs and all to the 3d showing - Result!

For those that don't know, and I doubt those of you with kids fall into this category, this is the 4th Shrek Movie. I have only seen 1 & 2 so it was nice to get a little reprise at the start of the "story so far..." (always a nice touch!)

So, all the big names are back, Myers, Diaz, Murphy, Banderas, Andrews & Cleese and all play their parts with the confidence we have grown to love and the story plays out seamlessly from the 3 previous films but at the end of the day its just another kids flick.

The 3d was meagre and to be honest, for the cost of a £1.50 pair of glasses and an £0.80p 3d upgrade, in addition to the ticket price, you might as well watch the 2d version - you wont miss anything!! and seeing as we got the 3d for free - we wished it was better.

It's a good plot idea - Shrek gets annoyed with what appears to be his life turning into "Groundhog Day" and in a moment of selfishness wishes it all away - for 1 day - but the cheeky cad know as Rumple Stiltskin, tricks him into a deal that takes away 1day of Shrek's life for 1 day of "Ogre'ness" and when that day turns out to be the day Shrek was born, his non-existence means Far Far Away Land is without our Green Rooney and he has until Sunrise to fix it all back.

So, alternative reality meets Cinderella - Kind of. but its watchable, funny in parts and Puss in Boot's big ol' eyes (and belly) still make you go AHHHhhh!

Keep an eye out for the background action - there is loads going on with characters away from the main attractions and its those classic moments that get the laughs. With week 1 of the Summer Holidays looming the kids will want entertaining early - and you cant go wrong with this.

Toy Story 3 is out as well next week so between that, Get him to the Greek and Predators I am sure that blog will be coming soon - and to be brutally honest I am looking to that one far much more than Shrek - but that's just the Buzz Lightyear in me! Infinity & Beyond!!

If you have seen the other 3 films then you might as well add this to the list - its better than watching Jeremy Kyle (and I should know, 2 weeks off on sick leave and I would have watched paint dry just to get out of the house!!) and now the World Cup is over...Dad's - Its time to spend some time with the kiddies!!

See this if.............Loves first Kiss still makes you warm inside!!

Sunday, 4 July 2010

45, Twilight - Eclipse


Okay - so "preview" weekends are great. No ads, you see films a week before general release, packed auditoriums and for the hasty few - a midnight screening.

Unlike my sister who ventured out to a 00.10am showing of this to be the first to see it I was a little less eager and the 10.30am was quite early enough for me - the 2nd showing of the movie and here was I, hoping not too many people would join me on a gloriously sunny Saturday morning.

I was wrong - it was heaving!! and the screens at the ticket office showed the evenings performances already selling out fast. so, blockbuster then? Definitely.

Now I have not read the Twilight books but I went in expecting a big blood fest of werewolves meet vampires and fights, battles, teeth etc but I think it is quite clear that this is now not what these films are all about.

They are love stories, pure and simple - chick flicks with teeth which is great but don't go if you want blood and gore - its not going to happen. So, take off my action head and put on my love story head and lets take another look.

By now we have all chosen our sides - Team Edward Vs. Team Jacob and I am not going to tell you what side I chose but it is easy to see why thousands of teenage girls (and some 30+ KAREN!!) are swooning in the aisles for these two actors. Jacob is again more toned than a marble sideboard and Edward carries off gaunt, pale vamp with an air of class, even Bella has appeared to have grown up a bit so the cast are as expected, comfortable in their roles, characters and story lines - no complaints there then.

As for the story - I might get some mild abuse here but it just seemed a bit slow. There are some great scripted exchanges though between E & J (look out for the one in the tent) and during the film these go from full on aggressive to slightly comical and sarcastic as they get to become slightly better allies but it just seems to take forever getting to the battle, which in itself is over before it really began.

You can tell the special effects have cost a packet, they are great and is it just me that thinks Carlisle looks like Tom Cruise? maybe, but the thing is, slow or not, action or love story you have to watch this.

It is the 3rd in what I think is a 4 part saga (if there is a 5th then I apologise in advance) that if you have been in from the start you cant miss. It plays an integral part in the story but Eclipse? I don't get the meaning of the title - Maybe it should read "Twilight - Love Triangle", that would have made more sense.

So, as I said earlier I don't really do books so I cant tell you if it is true to the novel or if huge portions are left out and I don't really care. With any book turned movie people will be disappointed, but if like me you think a film is a film and who cares if bits were left out, it kept me entertained for 100 minutes then you wont go far wrong.

Just make sure to take a girlfriend / wife along - the 2 guys on their own looked out of place in an row of seats filled with couples & female groups - but I am sure they loved it just the same.

So, quick round up....This is a great movie. The Vamps are cool and tough, Emmett is the funniest vamp, the girls look hot, the Wolves come complete with a six pack on each of them and Bella is once again the "not as attractive as everyone makes out she is" damsel in distress - hopefully she will do a comedy next or she is definitely set for roles as gloomy "emo" teenager until she gets too old.

Sorry Bella.

See this if...............You have seen 1 & 2, otherwise - go home.

Wednesday, 23 June 2010

44, The Killers


From the second I saw Tom Sellecks trademark moustache arrive on the trailer (and later discovering that there is a "3 Men and a Bride" film on the way!)a few months ago I wanted to see this movie.

It had this funny swagger about it that said action meets comedy and like the up coming Cruise / Diaz Movie "Knight & Day" (one of his 13 movies currently in production - including a MI.4!!)looked like a great rom-com meets action adventure with Spy meeting innocent girl, fall in love etc.

And I was right. From the outset this is a funny film and you are drawn to the leading roles of Kutcher and Heigl as the unlikely pairing who meet in France, fall in love, get married only for her to realise that he is an ex-spy with a £20mil contract on his head - but by who?? out rolls the plot, the brilliant story, a great twist and some fight / action scenes that would not look out of place in a new Bond Movie.

But the real attraction is not our doughy eyed love birds but the Mum & Dad pairing of Selleck & O'Hara (who for those of you that don't recognise the names, He was Magnum P.I and she was the Mum in Home Alone). They are brilliant. The mum especially is hilarious as you will see, not so much by her lines but expressions and actions throughout. He is the smooth talking sophisticated pilot turned wealthy globe trotter with an aire of greatness but one not to be messed with. They fir the roles beautifully and for me, the definite draw to the film.

Although you cant take anything away from the leading actors. Kutcher has become quite a headliner since his obnoxious Punk'd days and recent good roles in Valentines Day, What happened in Vegas & The Guardian have placed him mid way up the A-list with Demi Moore doing her bit to kick him a little higher, and as a producer on this film is achieving behind the camera recognition as well. Heigl is adorable. As she was in Knocked Up & 27 Dresses, even though she flagged a bit in The Ugly Truth she plays a blinder in this. Very funny.

So - I am not going to spoil it. I've seen it twice and laughed more the second time - even though I knew the plot in advance I still enjoyed it. A definite repeater worthy of a blu-ray purchase.

See this if.................You like a laugh with your guns and action!!

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

43, Street Dance (3d)


Who here loves "Britain's got Talent"???

Okay, me too - and the highlight is always the team dance troops (The good ones anyway!) so when my daughters started Street Dancing off the back of TV telling them they had to because that's what everyone did, my world was opened up to George Sampson, Diversity and Flawless as well as a string of American movie offerings like Step Up etc.

So when this hit the screens in 3D is was a given that I would have to attend.

AND IT WAS AWESOME!!

Okay, I am no street dancer, a few drunken dad moves at a party but these guys smashed it up. The music, moves and atmosphere that this film generated was excellent. It starts out like an expensive version of "Britannia High" and the acting looks like it belongs in an episode of Dr Who (It's by the BBC so give it a chance) but quickly you forget all this and the almost 100% UK cast and their abilities, looks, dress and tunes shine through and both me and my wife were as much into it as the girls.

The group you know, Diversity only appear for a few minutes although George Sampson (Eddie) and Flawless (Surge!) are in it from the start and I was impressed by the appearance of Frank Harper (Football Factory & Lock Stock) as the cafe owner, he was a surprise. A few more familiar TV faces pop up including a guy from "Holby City" and another from "The Office" and it ended up playing out to be quite well acted.

There is also a good story that brings Ballet and Street together but I'll let you go and see it to work it out.

The soundtrack is excellent (if you have kids that love that sort of thing.....secretly me too!) and the dancing is fab!

I loved this film - and the 3d was excellent, very subtle and atmospheric throughout but kicked in when it really counted with a few hats flying out at you and kicks / jumps looking really good. I found myself bouncing along all the way through.

I don't have a bad word to say, the girls are hot, the boys are fit (say wife and daughter) and even George Sampson plays a blinder as Eddie.

Love this (again! will stop gushing now) - Its been out a while so be quick but see it in 3d as a must - go this weekend. Take everyone.

See this if.................. B.G.T hits your TV's EVERY WEEK!

42, Brooklyn's Finest


Wesley Snipes, Richard Gere, Don Cheadle & Ethan Hawke. All fine actors, each starring in amazing movies. An A-list to be proud of?

Its a shame they all put their name to the worst film I have seen since "Ponyo" (A movie so bad it did not even make the Blog!)

Now don't get me wrong, I love a good action movie. Dirty Violence, Swearing, Gun fights and bloody action but this was just truly awful.

Narcotics, Undercover & Uniformed Cops, all from the same precinct go about their days oblivious to each others existence dealing with money troubles, undercover loyalties, alcohol / women trouble, drugs, all the usual suspects and the premise is great but it just does not deliver. Over two hours of plodding along with no real pace, a few gun fights and more "F" words between Cheadle and Snipes than is really necessary made for a dull, slow, long turkey that will not be on my DVD Xmas list.

The last 10 minutes gets a bit better when all 3 of our burnt out cops end up in the same place and it all comes together. But even that's disappointing.

I really don't have anything else to say. Avoid this film. sorry.

See this if...............Pulling teeth is fun for you.

41, Letters to Juliet


So, in Mamma Mia! a new icon for romantic love stories made a huge splash onto the cinema screens and Amanda Seyfried was born to the masses. But, she had been around for a while before that. A brief appearance as a full on hottie in Alpha Dog along with some CSi, House Md & Law and Order TV episodes with her movie debut in Mean Girls has paved the pay for Hollywoods nicest and newest sweetheart.

She does not have the WoW! factor of Megan Fox but as the "girl next door" its obvious that Hollywood has taken this cutie under their wing and are rolling her out in one romantic flick after another with an appearance as Little Red Riding Hood in 2011 (and its not an animation!)

So I stepped into this film expecting a soppy love story. Blah blah blah.......yawn but to be brutally and openly honest.....It was a great film.

It follows a couple taking a pre-wedding Honeymoon to Verona, Italy as due to the Mr's Restaurant opening straight after the wedding there would be no time! It quickly becomes apparent that he is only there for the suppliers and food / wine tasting leaving our sweetheart alone, bored and with nothing to do in the city of love.

On an solo outing she stumbles upon Juliet's balcony and hundreds of letters left on the wall by girls who need Juliet's love advice.

Having never been to Verona I don't know if this is true but it could easily be.

So, she sees a woman taking down the letters, follows her home and discovers "Juliet's Secretaries". A gaggle of old Italian ladies who respond to every letter Juliet receives, spreading love and hope to the many heartbroken souls who descend upon this romantic city.

As an aspiring writer she joins them an upon discovery of a 50 year old letter hidden in the cracks decides to reply, launching the recipient into a mad dash across the ocean with snooty grandson in tow to seek out the love of her life, albeit 50 years prior. Now we have a slightly odd road trip movie with our heroine tagging along where, you guessed it...it's more than the old lady (Redgrave) who discovers true love.

So, Is it soppy?...Definitely, but its beautifully acted, the setting are adorable and the English rogue's charm who who at the start, you believe is the worst actor in the world quickly changes your mind and you keep shouting !!!KISS HER!!!

This is not my normal choice of film but take a chance, take the Mrs and kiss her during the title sequence.you will see why! If she is half as romantic as my wife she will see that softer side of you shine though. Shoot and Score!

Be a Man. See a good chick flick and enjoy it.

See this if..................There's a Romeo inside you, gagging to get out!

Sunday, 6 June 2010

40, Robin Hood


Without a "Bryan Adams" in sight I was glad that another crack had been taken at telling the story of Robin Hood. Why? Well because if you think about it, potentially it all the adventure of "Pirates" mixed with the scale of "Gladiator" and if, like me you love your epics this is one not to be missed.

When Disney's Robin Hood came out with a Fox, Bear and Lion taking the lead roles it was simple, as with the Kevin Costner version, Robin of Locksley robbed from the rich and gave to the poor, governed by the evil King John awaiting the return of Good King Richard the Lion Heart from the crusades, John (aided by the Evil Sheriff of Nottingham) raided the simple village folk of all their taxes allowing Robin to run around with his band of Merry men looting the rich folk and giving it back to the poor?............sounds correct? of course it is, everyone knows the story of Robin Hood.

However, not this time. Robin Hood is NOT Robin of Locksley, he is Robin Longstride - a totally different family, who assumes the identity of Robin of Locksley when the real one dies and our hero decides to return his sword to the dead Robins father. On arrival at the Locksley farm / village he meets Marion (Robins wife) and after a lengthy chat with her father in-law assumes the role of Robin of Locksley and takes up his place as the rightful heir and husband???? - There is loads more to this plot line but that about covers the basics.

Okay - so a bit distant from the story we all know but to add a few more twists, King Richard dies early on leaving the actual throne to John - who on the surface is actually quite nice!!! The Sheriff of Nottingham is a bit of a sap, albeit beautifully played by Tom from Spooks but its the Merry Men and Friar Tuck who in my eyes steal the show (and the first time I have seen the actor Kevin Durand play a good guy role - look him up)they are absolutely hilarious!!

This film can easily be portrayed as a prequel to the Robin Hood we all know - it is only after facing the french army head on, led by their King and an English traitor (Mark Strong) bent on instigating civil war so the English borders are weakened do Robin and King John stand side by side, wreaking devastation of the advancing French troops - and for that part its a great partnership. But when the "adoration" of the troops is bestowed upon Robin and not King John does he get declared an outlaw... blah blah blah and then it ends. So a sequel maybe?? well there is no talk of one yet so who know...........maybe in the future.

As you know, I don't normally go on about the plots in this much detail but if you watch this film thinking you know what its all about you will be mistaken - a new plot, a new story and a new twist - personally I loved it.

There has been criticism about the accents, acting etc but don't let it bother you....its hardly noticeable and gets washed away with the great story and fight scenes very quickly.

A host of British & American talent star, including 1 Aussie and in general - this is a great film.

See this if...................Gladiator floats your boat

Saturday, 5 June 2010

39, The Tooth Fairy


What half term would not be complete with a trip to see the most recent kiddie flick. The thought of the "Rock" camping it up in yet another poor, unfunny kids film was almost too much to handle knowing that my wife and sister were in the next screen watching SATC2 but never mind - what's the worst that could happen?

Maybe a pleasant surprise!

Okay, as with most kids films this one is not going to win any Oscar's and Dwayne's performance is on par with that of his recent PG outings - the last 5 movies have all been kids flicks and Grid Iron Gang was his last major role of any interest but believe me when I say that this film is not about him. The supporting cast are amazingly funny.

Take The Rock out of the picture and Stephen Merchant is absolutely hilarious as the case worker Fairy Tracy and Julie Andrews and Billy Crystal also put in memorable performances.

But in my eyes its all about Tracy - The lanky spectacle of comedy perfection taking the form of Mr Gervais witty comedy sidekick stands well and truly on his own two feet playing a blinder alongside Dwayne's somewhat lack lustering portrayal of a down and out ex NHL hockey player, busted to the lower leagues due to injury and taking on a new girlfriend and her somewhat disappointed kids. Carly, the girlfriend is played by Ashley Judd - her first major role since forever and in her defence - plays her role with a touch of class.

This story focuses on childhood dreams and a kids perception of what is imaginable - even with that saying I have probably built more into the story than the producers did but if you have kids they will laugh out loud. If like me, you find Merchant the funnier of the Gervais / Merchant partnership then this one is for you. There are some good points to the film but no spoilers this time, just watch out for the scenes with Mary Poppins and Tracy the case worker fairy - even if you laugh at those bits alone it will be worth the time and money spent on seeing your little cherubs smile.

See this if................the half term is getting too much!!

Sunday, 30 May 2010

38, The Losers


When a film hits the cinemas and you read the cast list and say WHO?, or 2 days before it gets released and you see a trailer and go WHAT? I always wonder one of 2 things - firstly, is this film that bad that no one has been talking about it and secondly, and most hopefully you discover a hidden gem that creeps up on you and covers all the basis for a great film - a total unexpected joy to behold.

And The losers definitely scores in the latter!!

On a closer look a few faces start to become familiar. The first is Clay, the lead character - he starred in "Watchmen" as Eddie Blake (The Comedian) and a few episodes of Grey's Anatomy and also Jensen, The Human Torch from Fantastic Four and the pre-announced "Captain America" due out in 2012. Add in Mr Jason Patrick from "Speed 2" and a leading lady who looks more like Thandie Newton than Thandie Newton does but isn't and all of a sudden you have an A-List to brag about.

You would be easily forgotten for believing this is a poor mans A-Team and the soldiers of fortune, wanted by their own government looking to clear their names definitely puts it in the same league but I thought this was great and should be considered not as a cheap imitation, but as a pretty good film in its own right.

It is full of action, humour, some nakedness and not forgetting some big ass guns. There is also and an egg shaped device that disintegrates land mass which is cool, albeit a little O.T.T

Easy plot, 5 guys in Bolivia call in an air strike on Mr Nasty Baddie before realising that 25 kids are in-house. A brave 8 minute rescue and 1 execution later the kids are free and the place is annihilated with seconds to spare.

Due to limited space on the evac chopper the kids go first leaving our heroes behind but sadly a devastating call of an air strike designed to take out the "losers" end up with the murder of 25 innocent kids by Max, a nasty CIA black ops dude hell bent on global destruction / domination.

Revenge takes it toll and when an opportunity rises for a return to the states to clear their names the plot races forward with a surge of brilliance through about 8 global cities to hunt down those responsible.

That's the action covered so onto the comedy. It does all of the above with a distinct hint of sarcasm and one of the funniest bits by far is Jensen's escape though a tower block, aptly set to the soundtrack of "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey. Chris Evans (Jensen) is responsible for 90% of the humour in this and by far one of his best roles to date.

Another comic book re-make? You would think so. The the animators, especially in the title sequences have added a slant of Marvel meets DC with a slice of 2000 AD added but it does not carry the cheese of a Marvel movie, and the absence of Stan Lee confirmed it. So was it a comic book?

Yes. After a bit of web-searching the "Losers" comic book was published in 2004 under the "D.C Vertigo" label. Nerd Alert !!! (sorry!)

If, like me you cant wait for the A-Team then this is a great warm up to it, but it easily stands on its own too feet.

A hidden Gem, definitely.

See this movie if...............BOOM!

Saturday, 22 May 2010

37, Prince of Persia


A huge percentage of movies we see today come from book adaptations, and that's fine, if you read. But if you are like me and not a certified book worm it takes the movie to open your eyes to what is going on - and I never hear myself uttering the immortal words "The Book was Better!?!"

But as I am not a reader, what am I.....easy. A Gamer.

So when I first saw the trailer for "Prince of Persia, Sands of Time" I knew exactly the plot, characters, settings, names - the works. And I could not wait.

Last year the game re-invented platformers with a cell shaded animation unlike anyone had seen before in a game. The fluid movement of the Prince, leaping from roof to roof, wall-running and swinging from ropes and lights was enough to hook me from start to finish. And I hoped the film did it justice. And it did.

Firstly, the action is immense. Really well done and then a hidden gem, well two hidden gems actually. Firstly, it was Funny!!! everyone had British accents even down to the cockney prince himself. The 2nd was Gemma Arterton - with each movie she gets less wooden, more attractive and as the leading lady in this one - nailed it!!!

I am not the greatest Gyllenhaal fan but this kind of changed my opinion - he played the role great and if, like me you loved the game they have managed to capture all of the movements fantastically and you notice very quickly the leaping from beam to beam, wall runs and flips up and down walls that made the game so appealing.

The story also holds up with a great plot line and Arterton & Gyllenhaal are perfectly matched with the rest of the cast and with Ben Kingsley playing the nasty uncle and Dr Octopus from Spidey 2 popping up as the Sheik, with a passion for Ostrich racing the whole thing is a great watch!

I hoped this would be a great film - and it turned out to be an amazing one - it was action packed, funny, believable (if Persians going back in time and the chance of the gods raining down apocalyptic devastation can be believable!!) and well worth a Saturday morning indoors when the rest of the UK hit fete's, beaches, Beer Gardens and Theme Parks.

My wife was pleasantly surprised, coming out entertained when she thought she would be watching a swashbuckling tale of fantasy - not really her cup of tea.

Its a 12a I think and apart from the snakes, any kid over 8 should love the action and swordplay. The special effects are great and finally, maybe most importantly - I will never say another bad word against Gemma Arterton. She Rocks!!

See this if.........Games beat books - EVERY TIME!!!

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

36, Furry Vengeance


Please accept my apologies, I saw this film 7 days ago but its taken until now to write the blog. And here is the reason why....

Think of the worst film you EVER saw...times it by 1 thousand...add a fat leading man and a wooden leading lady...add some dreadful special effects...take out all of the humour...make up a pointless plot...and you are still no where near to the apocalyptic mess that results in furry Vengeance.

This is the worst film in the last 10 years. Un-funny, dull, laborious, pointless, waste of time!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was going off Brendan Frasier since the Mummy III but in this he really does take it one step too far, and as for Brooke Shields......Wooden, old, dull, YAWN!!

The kids are pointless, my PowerPoint presentations hold more interest and thank god I saw it for free!!!

However.........There is one saving grace.

It stars Ken Jeong who for those that don't know, he is the funny Japanese man in "The Hangover" - the one with the funny voice - he is hilarious, its only a shame that everyone else was so dull that all his jokes were lost on the moans coming from the other cast members.

so that's it - There will be no spoiler here, believe me...there was nothing to spoil. My daughter laughed loudly, but only because she is yet to develop a sense of humour that exceeds farts and knock knock jokes.

Save your time, money and life. spend your £8 getting a tattoo on your eyeball that says MUPPET!!!

See this if..............CANT YOU READ!!!

Sunday, 9 May 2010

35, Hot Tub Time Machine


When I first heard Scott Mills on Radio 1 talking about this a few months ago I thought it was a wind up.

Then I saw a trailer with Chevy Chase and John Cusack and realised that this was actually going to be released.

When the 1st trailers hit the cinemas the outlay was a very cheesy step back in time with a dodgy soundtrack and the stereo typical tough guy, black guy, loser guy & geek.

So I was extremely surprised when what I actually saw made me laugh out loud more times than I can remember, even nearly losing a mouthful of Pepsi in the process!

3 Guys, A loser who watches his ex-girlfriend and all his stuff walk out on him, a suicidal alcoholic and a completely under the thumb ex-musician who grew up together and although still friends, have slightly lost contact rally round the alcoholic after a botched suicide attempt and decide to re-bond by a trip to the mountains, with a nephew geek in-tow where they had some of their best Summers as teenagers.

When they arrive time has not done the resort well until and after dealing with a moody bellboy (George McFly from Back to the future) with one arm decide to get wasted in the hot tub and after spilling some over juiced energy drink into the electronics they get sent back to Winterfest' 86.

Okay - the plot seems extremely ropey but there is something about this that makes it worthwhile.

Firstly, I am no prude but there was a hell of a lot of swearing in it and most of it seemed like the film makers thought they needed the swears to make it funny, which in places it did but the script came across as strong enough on its own.

The basic story is that this was this trip they all made in 86' where decisions were made by all 3 of the guys leading to somewhat not so great futures and now back in their old, younger bodies but with their 40yr old minds well in-tact they set out to make the right decisions 2nd time round - and in true Hollywood style - for the better.

There are loads of sub-plots, side stories and F-words but on the whole it pans out beautifully and is well worth a watch.

Some of the highlights were the constant "near misses" of the bellboy losing his arm, the abusive phone call to the 9 year old girl and the Black Eyed-Peas cover which was very different to the Wham & Bowie tunes that the 86' audience was used too.

Its a cert 15' so you wont take the (younger) kids but don't think that this is a cheesy crap 80's movie. Chevy Chase plays the Hot Tub Repair Guy and although only a cameo, any fan of Chevy's will love his return to the silver screen. The Geek is experiencing it all for the first time and there is the whole space time continuum of him not existing yet and phasing in and out of visibility which is also another sub plot.

This is a great movie, I found it hilarious from about 15 minutes in until the end and no one should be put off by the title - Cusack is still, in my eyes a great actor and the rest of the cast hold up well. Especially the chicks rocking the leg warmers and full on perms!

See this movie if......................you wanna step back in time!

Monday, 3 May 2010

34, Iron Man 2


With any Marvel movie its the same, the first one is all about "becoming the hero" and we go through an awesome / horrendous re-invention of an individual, defining their fears and focusing on one true goal - if this works and the audience love it (Batman) then we are blessed with more. If it doesn't (Hulk) then Hollywood kindly put it to bed. So where does Iron Man sit, luckily the first one was excellent so it was only a matter of time until we were given another helping and it does not disappoint.

Whats great about a Marvel sequel is there is no need for messing about - it can get straight in there, we know the characters, the story, that Stan Lee will make a tiny cameo, everything, so its easy to jump in and get directly into some Iron Man action. Downey Jr is excellent in this, his character of Stark is as egotistical and arrogant as you want him to be with Paltrow picking up the Pepper Potts role beautifully and she is may favourite in the film by far. Sexy, Smart and grounded. Everyone should have one!!

Sam Rockwell is great as Hammer, Starks "rival" to put it plainly, not quite as rich or clever but just as cocky and in parts, quite cheesy. Similar to the role he played in Charlies Angels many moons ago but where in Angels he was Mr Main Villain in this, that honour goes to someone completely different.

Micky Rourke has had praise since a return to form in the Wrestler and this is a wicked performance. Playing a Russian Scientist, bent on destroying the Stark Legacy.

The plot works, Ivan (Rourke) manages to recreate the Iron Man Tech using the original plans handed down by his own father (Stark's dads original business partner)and shows it off with devastating effect at a Monaco Grand Prix. This comes only days after Starks own admission that no other government / agency is anywhere near recreating his own tech, demonstrated by Hammers useless attempts! Add in the factor that the toxicity in the suit is now entering his blood stream Stark is forced to work with the government while actually finding out his fathers hidden secret, a new element and blah blah blah, save the world! Superhero stuff, obviously.

Add in Nick Fury (S.L Jackson) and a few other agents of "Shield", namely Scarlett Johansson for some added good guy backup, a 2nd Iron Man suit for Don Cheadle (Starks closest pal) and all of a sudden we have a big old robot fest of explosions and kick ass guns (keep an eye out for the "ex-wife", got the biggest laugh of the day!)

No plot spoilers at the end though - its a Marvel so obviously the good guys prevail but Rourkes & Paltrows performances definitely stand out.

There is a lull for about 20 minutes in the middle when the characters all do a bit of soul searching but other than that is high octane action from start to finish - I loved this, Defiantly worth a watch.

Plus the AC/DC soundtrack throughout is awesome!

See this if.................You want a really good time!

Sunday, 25 April 2010

33, Date Night


There have been many American sit-com's that I love - In its day, Friends was great, more recently, Modern Family actually makes me laugh out loud and I have watched 2 and a half men, My Wife and Kids & Family Guy. But so far I have never seen 30 Rock and think I have been missing out. I have quotes of Tina Fey being regarded a TV comedy genius and I think who ever said it, was right.

So, Steve Carell. From Anchorman to Evan Almighty and who can forget 40 year old virgin, the guy is a legendary comedy performer. However, does putting two comedy greats on a bit screen result in genius. Maybe.

I heard the Radio 1 review of this and James King nailed it. The ad lib between Carell & Fey is amazing. Very funny. They work together as well as salt and pepper but you do feel that they are held back by a script that could have been so much better.

Mark Whalberg stars in a small cameo role which is unusual for him but plays an absolute blinder as the special ops gut who helps out the Fosters as they battle dirty cops, sleezy D.A's and a mob boss, Hmmmm.. Lets see... Mr Stereotype himself....Ray Liotta (who only get about 8 lines) Also, the chemistry between Whalberg & Fey is dynamite. The "glances" between the two say it all - and Carell does his best to "Man-Up"...Bless him!

Whats good about this is it is all about Carell & Fey. They are in it from the start and they carry it beautifully. The scene in the "escape" boat is funny, albeit for only a few seconds, as is the pole dancing scene in front of the DA, Laugh out loud humour.

This will not go down as one of the great comedy movies of our time but its definitely worth a watch and maybe a DVD Purchase. The story is a bit ropey with so much emphasis on the fact that a reservation was stolen? apparently in the states this is a huge misdemeanor, must be an American thing!

Anyway, This IS a funny film, so if you fancy a giggle then definitely give this one a go, even if it is only as a warm up to "Hot Tub Time Machine" due out soon!!!

See This if..............You have ever "done the dance"!!!

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

32, Whip It


Sometimes it is nice to be surprised. I remember watching Juno, swept up in the wave of praise it was getting but not really expecting to enjoy it, and then understanding and agreeing with the hype. So, Ellen Page is back, 2 movies and a Simpson's episode since Juno and is is a continuation of form.....

Definitely!!

Drew Barrymore directs a ensemble of female talent including Page, Juliet Lewis, Eve and a welcome return for Daniel Stern from City Slickers and Home Alone fame playing the "under the thumb" dad.

The outset plays out like Dodgeball, without the visual jokes. Small town sport turn global phenomenon but this stays local - entirely set between Austin & Bodeen, Texas the roller Derby is a female led grudge match on wheels - like Bulldog on skates. Set in an old warehouse this does not claim to want to change the world - but pits small teams of angry, fish net clad beauties with attitudes against each other in a non funded, non rewarded sport of champions!!

So whats so good about this. It does not claim to be anything its not - its believable - this could be happening in towns all across the states - swigging beer and driving trucks, eating in diners and moaning about senior college. Its don to earth and fun.

Drew takes a back seat in the acting role and leaves the performance work to Lewis & Page with excellent performances from "Mum & Dad" and the best friend.

I knew nothing of Roller Derby prior to watching this and probably wont ever again but for 90 minutes it was great to see the story unfold and by the end of it you are urging them on in true Underdog style. It does not disappoint - set with a 12A rating we took Leah (6) but a few of the scenes were beyond her - an even though she loved the racing and the jokes it should of have the "A" removed, a 12 Cert alone would have sufficed.

Its a date movie for Teenagers, its a step back in time for Mums & Dads and for the general viewing audience, Ellen Page proves again she is destined for greatness and at 23, stills manages to pull of 17 beautifully!!

See this if......................Juno made you smile!!

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

31, How to Train your Dragon


Its pretty much a given that if you have kids under the age of about 9 then at some point they will be tugging on your trouser legs, asking to go and see this movie.

And they should be.....

There are plenty of kids movies around this Easter, there are more than a few 3d ones currently on release but this one has something special about it.

The animation is better than almost anything else around currently and the story is unique and holds up. A village of Vikings, situated below the northern lights. For 7 generations they have battled Dragons on a day to basis until Hiccup, the chiefs son, manages to catch the un-catchable dragon, injuring it and then nursing it back to health and in the process manages to discover that the dragons are not all fire and teeth but like a tickle & the occasional fish.

The cast are great. Gerard butler as the Chief viking puts on his broadest Scottish accent and still manages a better performance off screen than he did on it in the Bounty Hunter. Ugly Betty is cool as Astrid, the object of Hiccups desires and Hiccup himself played by one of the "Knocked Up" crowd is funny. The current wave of young American talent that seems to be forever present again rears up with Superbad stars Jonah Hill and fresh from Kick-Ass, Christopher Mintz-Plasse (McLovin) playing absolute blinders.

The 3d element is almost on the same level as Avatar and the best so far in a complete animation movie. There is not much more to say. After all its a kids animation film and nowadays its hard to come across a crap one.

We are at a place now where they all look as good as each other, in fact even improving one after the other. The new 3d element brings them to life but far more subtly than the 3d of old. nothing really jumps out at you and I am yet to see one as good as Pirates 4d (used to be on at Thorpe Park) but I am sure as the tech improves over time they will get more "in your face".

Anyway, to sum up...can't complain. I laughed, My daughters loved it & the mother-in-law gave it the thumbs.

Fun for the whole family.

See this if................The kids make the rules!!

Monday, 5 April 2010

30, Clash of the Titans


I love going to see a film that gets slated, I love even more that the fat kid behind me was overheard saying what a crap movie it was going to be, yet he was still sitting there.

I love it when movie studios spend millions of a film, If I was a Hollywood Exec of course I would spend buckets of hard earned cash making a turkey, sometimes it happens but when we are talking CGI, 3d and Mr Avatar himself is it really going to be that bad?

In fact that's what I love about cinema - who cares what people think - you make up your own mind. You might not agree with what I say on these blogs but you will have your opinion as to what you believe. And that's what its all about.

Firstly, before the film, lets talk Sam Worthington. His 1st acting role was in TV drama JAG in 2000, since then he bowled around in "For Television" dramas and a few low budget films but made his mark in Terminator Salvation in 2009, Soon followed Avatar and now this. 4 months passed between release dates of Avatar and Titans and did you know he starred alongside Helen Mirren in a film called "The Debt" between the two? No, neither did I. He's no Oscar winner but still manages to play a blinder when surrounded by CGI and awe inspiring special effects, not to mention being part of 3d back to back blockbusters but time will tell if he can stand on his own two feet. (at least the wife thinks he's fit!)

That leads me to the leading lady - Gemma Arterton. Cute?....Definitely (and she looks great in this). Leading Lady?...Defiantly not. Bless her though, she is not as wooden in this as her other outings (Trinians & Bond to name two) but she is better than usual.

So the film. Whats good about this is that it is only 90 minutes. $32 Million Dollars spent on CGI & 3D averaging £350k per minute - worth it - MOST DEFINITELY!!

Whats great about Avatar, Gladiator & Lord of the Rings is they are all expensive and look amazing but are 3hrs long!!! Even the best films got a little twitchy about 2hrs 20 minutes in but this is over in a heartbeat and does not let up throughout its entirety.

The 1st 30 minutes is a history lesson, but it's the same story I heard at Percy Jackson & The Lightening Thief. Zeus, Poseidon & Hades, Demi-gods, Titans blah ramble blah ramble - lets get with the action!!

The special effects are awesome, the rest of the cast are also brilliant. Keep a look out for Jason Fleyming (Lock, Stock) & Le'Chiffre (Mads Mikkleson) from Casino Royale, who between that and Titans has only starred in a few small foreign films. These two are brilliant.

If I had one moan it would be the Kraken was disappointing - it only actually appeared for about 4 minutes and only really roared and smashed some buildings up before our hero Perseus showed it Medusa's head and ended its days by turning it to stone. The Problem is that we discovered earlier that it only worked on Man - so by definition the Kraken is human..don't think so!!

For £350k a minute you cant ask for much more. Its fast moving, the special effects are awesome and if like me, you grew up reading Myths & Legends you will be sucked right in.

Hollywood are looking closely at this and if successful then expect to see a barrage of new movies in 2012 based on Gods, Demigods & Demons. And I say bring it on... If someone is prepared to pay over £30 million to make me happy all for the cost of a set of cheap 3d glasses, a movie ticket and some M&M's I will keep coming back, over and over again.

See this if.............You liked Avatar but only have half the time!!

Sunday, 4 April 2010

29, Kick-Ass


This is going to be the hardest blog to write yet, and let me explain why. The premise of this film on the outset is simple. Teenage vigilante's dressing up in cheesy costumes playing wannabe superheroes.

Sounds simple - it's been done before right....Remember "Mystery Men", one of the worst films ever made? That's what I thought. But then I read the "See this if you like" section of the mag. Its described in the same breath as "Watchmen" and "Wanted", both 18 certificates. And this was billed as a 15, so what was so violent and gory that it was compared against the only 2 comic book movies to be awarded the 18 flag. Let me tell you.

THIS IS AN AWESOME MOVIE!!

I was totally taken back by it. In the first 5 minutes we meet our geek hero. And within the first sentence he has dropped 3 F*cks and its normal!

So, we are definitely not watching a kids comic book fantasy here, this is in the realm of American Teen Comedy, Superbad meets American Pie. The actors are familiar, maybe not to look at but the type is all too recognisable. Teen Geek fancies hot college girl & nasty mobster and his goofy henchmen own the city, cops and everyone else. That's the comic book part - it will make you laugh out loud.

And then something happens that will decide if you love or hate this film and believe me, there is no middle ground. its is definitely either love it or hate it.

This is full on brutal violence meets sweet teenage comedy. Kick-Ass is a geeky comic book obsessed kid who is sick of being pushed around. Deep in a world made up of fantasy girlfriends and slightly fat friends he feels there is more to life and set out to buy a costume and take on a couple of local street thugs. His 1st outing goes badly, getting stabbed and then run over but the full body surgery he undergoes to fix his broken skeleton requires the addition of some metal plates, and although not indestructible, he can at least take a slightly longer beating than most.

But then you meet probably my newest, most favourite movie character of all time.

She is 11

She uses the work Cu*t - (which made the whole audience look at each other saying..."did she just say...?")

She is an expert using butterfly blades

She packs every kind of weaponry

She is HIT GIRL

Okay, lets get this straight from the off. Depending on if you think its right for kids to swear and brutally kill in films, after all - in real life she is still in year 7! will pretty much set your tone for the rest of the film. for me - it was one of the best movies seen in a while, for you, you may want to walk out...read on.

I do not know who this kid is but I think she was the best thing about it. Kick-Ass pretty much fumbles his way through battle after battle but basically she is the star, her and her dad played by Nic Cage. (He is a little cheesy though)

Where Kick-Ass gets by using a green Lycra suit with padded cheerleader batons and pretty much just sets out to ruff up the bad guys, Hit Girl & Big Daddy Pack leather and metal suits, mini sub machine guns, swords, knives and much more, what's even better is that they don't hesitate is slashing and dissecting their way through henchman after henchman - and nothing it edited out - you see it all.

There are bullets though the face, blades in the throat, even a bazooka in the chest but you cant get away from the fact that an 11 year old girl beats the living hell out of everyone including half the cast of Lock Stock and Archie from rock'n'rolla. The scene where Hit Girl goes one to one against Mr nasty mob boss (Archie from above) is one of the best in the film and its full on headbutts and closed knuckle punches. It's amazing to watch.

I cant tell you go and watch this if you loved Bat, Super or Iron Man movies, I cant even say watch this if you loved every American teen comedy ever made - it takes both of them, adds some awesome fight scenes, brutal murders and no holes barred action, mixes it with some sentiment and a little bit of the "Awwww" Factor and what comes out the other end it amazing.

I would watch this again tomorrow, and then again until the DVD is available. you will need an open mind for sure but its a film and if you take it with a pinch of salt then you should be fine. Leave your morals at home and enjoy!!

It makes you wonder. Kick-Ass has a point. All you need is a suit, some basic fighting skills and a form of weaponry and anyone can do it. Real superheroes don't exist (apart from Batman...obviously!!) but average Joe, making a stand...why not??

Personally, see this film - soon. But if you hate it, sorry.

See this if............... You have agreed with my views ion the last 28 blogs, you wont be disappointed.

Saturday, 3 April 2010

28, The Blind Side


After 2 dull trips to the cinema I was hoping for something captivating, funny and enjoyable and hoped the Oscar winning Performance in this film by Sandra Bullock would be worth the watch.

And it most definitely was...

I do not have a single bad word to say about this one. Its billed as a heartwarming, upbeat comedy and it totally lived up to the hype.

Its a true story and it makes you wish you were part of this family, the school, the town, the team...everything! not that our own families are not enough but you really wish you loved in Memphis, Tennessee. Well, the posh bit anyway!!

Nearly Homeless Michael is picked up by our endearing "mom" and taken under her and her families wing so he can develop an education, a family & friends and a Football Scolarship. There a bits that will make you laugh out loud and bits that warm your heart. Normally in films like this there is a time where either the pace drops off and it goes negative, only to be resurrected at the end but in this...It just stays happy - until the end.

Nothing goes wrong, nothing gets in the way. It is just a good old fashioned feel good movie. The Dad is understanding, The Team supportive, The Daughter sweet, The Coach manipulated, The Teachers protective, The Son - AMAZING! The Mum - Well, Bullock does good.

The best thing about True Stories is at the end you sometimes get to see the real people its about - in this one you see the real NFL draft footage from CNN in 2009 where Michael gets drafted to the Pro's and is makes the hairs stand up!! The real mum is about as southern as Mrs KCF and Bullock portrays her brilliantly.

Worthy of the best actress Oscar....Definitely.

See this if..............you want to smile!!

27, Remember Me


R-Patz. ??? 1 Harry Potter film and a Vampire Saga. Now a worldwide phenomenon and sorry, but I don't get it and I'm not that old.....yet.

He is great in Twilight but its the same role over and over (minus the teeth). Emo, dark, moody romantic. Pale skin, floppy hair & soft voice. Action hero....not a chance but for soppy teen idol - He's got it sewn right up.

Remember Me?, Remember What!!! The films started with the murder of a mum on a platform in front of her 9 yr old daughter, if you look closely the Mum is the girl with the glasses from the Goonies. Police arrive on the scene and the New York Detective who arrives is the husband / father.

Jump forward 9 years and we meet Patz who is running late for a cemetery gathering with his sister, mum & her new partner & his Dad, played by Pierce Brosnan.

It bowls along with no real explanation as to why we saw the murder at the start until Patz and his roommate go out on the lash and get in a fight. The copper on scene is the dad from the start then it clicks. What then plays out is the Dad takes a heavy hand to Patz and a few days later his room mate spies the copper and his daughter (now 19) and as payback get Patz to chat her up to get back at the dad. OF COURSE they fall in love for real and blah blah blah blah.

It is SO SLOW - nothing happens.

Parts of the story drip through sporadically. The Dad (Brosnan) is a tycoon arsehole, the sister is a bit geeky with zero mates (but adorable) but the main point is Patz brother commits suicide at 21 (the reason for the family gathering).

There is loads going on but it all kind of just gets misty between scenes. Basically it is Patz that seems to be the main link between the multiple story line. The "Remember Me" title, His Brother, Her Mum, maybe. But its only at the end that you get the plot.

The teacher steps aside of the chalkboard and the date is showing,

September 11, 2001.

It all falls into place. Its a shame that a film that carries so much meaning and sincerity had to be so dull to get there. I felt bad at the end once I realised the true meaning. The last 10 minutes should make up for the u-turns it took in getting there but then you think a little. You understand it.

Its just unfortunate the film was crap.

See this if............you love R-Patz, are 14 & female. Otherwise - bin-it.

26, The Bounty Hunter


This one has been out for a while but with an evening to spare and all the other films on at the cinema either already seen or planned to see this was all that was left.

Gerrard Butler in 300...Awesome. Gamer...Awesome. Law Abiding Citizen...Awesome. Even Nim's Island, which is my wife's favourite he is funny. Rock'n'Rolla...Awesome. But when it comes to Romantic Comedy's he falls apart. The Ugly Truth was dull and in this - Sorry but dull all over again.

So onto Jennifer Aniston... Will she always be "Rachel" from Friends? Probably. She was pretty good in Marley & Me but this one - again, dull.

That sums up the whole film. Radio One slated it giving it "1 Star" and said the best two things about it were on the chest of Jen and he was right!!! It was some pretty impressive under-wiring by her wardrobe department but the film was no where near as buoyant!!

The plot was slow, predictable and never really managed to get going. Butler was cheesy and Aniston managed to get through the entire movie in the same mini skirt, vest top and heels. She managed to totter around for 90 minutes not even breaking a sweat, a strap or a heel.

Gerrard played the goof ball ex-husband who met, married and lost Aniston all in less than 2 years and after leaving the police became a Bounty Hunter to bring in parole violators. Aniston, a journalist gets arrested for driving into a police horse and on the court hearing gets a lead to follow a suicide case she believes has dirty cops involved. Butler picks up the tab to bring her in once she skips bail and pocket the £5k reward, as well as get the personal resolve of dragging his ex-mrs back to Jail.

What comes next is SOOOOO predictable - couple fall in love again, retrace initial wedding steps and solve the dodgy cop case.

When it ends you wonder how it managed to get you there in the first place. The actual villains were in it for only a short time at the end and it could have been so much more but sadly managed to successfully fail on every level.

Disappointed, an understatement. And it was in screen 4, so uncomfy seats. Radio 1 was right. Anistons boobs were the best thing about it.

See this if.................See above

Wednesday, 31 March 2010

25, Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang


Family Fun time, Easter is here and the run of kids films commences.....From memory the first film was funny so does this sequel live up to the hype?

Not to begin with.

Set during the first world war the film revolves around a mum with 3 kids who's husband is at war. With the snotty cousins on their way over from London to escape the bombs we are faced with 5 kids, a struggling mum, a ditzy old shopkeeper and her military copper husband, a farmer, a money grabbing uncle, a moody war office official, 2 slightly odd debt collectors, a wart ridden nanny and a bomb.

Those that have seen the original know the plot, 5 rules - Nanny's looks improve each time the kids take a step in the right direction. Happy Ending.

In comparison the kids in this are no way near as good as the ones first time out - They were more scheming, more obnoxious, far from annoying and basically like you wanted to be at 11. To top it off the lead kid in the first film is the only actor responsible so far for bringing a lump to my throat during a film (Airport Scene in Love Actually!! - SHUT UP - you loved it too!!) The problem is that the new kids start out as annoying, irritating and boring and for me this was the whole outset of the film until the pigs escaped. Then it started to get funny.

Very funny.

don't expect ground breaking CGI here but synchronised swimming and tree climbing by piglets was cute and had my 6 year old in stitches. Maggie Smith sat in a cow pat, Bill Bailey discussed intelligent pigs and Katie Brand played a blinder as a slightly mental psycho. Ryhs Ifans was smarmy, Ralph Feinnes was rude and Ewan Mcgregor stars in his shortest cameo EVER!!! so the names are there for the British talent and without them it would have died on its arse.

Maggie Gylennhall was her usual standard self - she is not impressing and I fail to see why she's famous - Her brother does a better job on screen but both lack charisma, my only hope is that his upcoming portrayal of the Prince of Persia is good as I am loving the games - but moving off point - back to McPhee.

The star as always is the writer and lead, Emma Thompson. Ugly, Hairy, Overweight she improves as the film progresses but given the choice, even in her best state I would take Mary Poppins every time!!

Two Characters make it into the sequel from the original, Nanny McPhee is a given but the 2nd only becomes apparent at the very end and I'm not going to spoil it.

It starts slow - get better and end quickly. Kids will love it but considering its not been that long the cinema was only 1/4 full - the lure of Training Dragons proved too much for some people!!!

Worth a watch? - for the kids maybe but for adults, skip it and watch Kick-ASS!!

See this if...............you can handle being DRAGGED!!

Monday, 22 March 2010

24, Shutter Island

When you think of Scorsese you think Casino, Goodfellas, Raging Bull...the list goes on and on but its been 3 years since his last proper film and his last directorial outing was a Rolling Stones documentary so what was the master of the mobster thriller going to present me today, A Horror as I thought it would be?, No. A Gritty Cop Drama?, Uh. No. A Comedy - PLEASE!!...So what is Shutter Island??

It starts with a boat appearing from the fog carrying 2 FBI agents heading for Shutter Island to solve the mystery of a missing mental patient / inmate. For the first 20 minutes or so you think it is any other dated, old school, fedora based FBI Drama. Set in 1954 it follows DiCaprio as an ex WW2 vet who witnessed more than his fair share in the Nazi death camps where as the American Troops, saved Jews from the Germans.

Then it gets all weird.

With sporadic musical interludes that would look at home in a 60's hammer horror movie it mighty weird!! I WANT to tell you then end but its got that "Sixth Sense" factor where if I do spill the beans it will be spoilt for ever and now I've seen it I wont watch it ever again. Not because its bad but I don't see the point now I know the ending.

It does not have that appeal of an Action Blockbuster and its not violent enough for a prison drama. Its got no humorous traits and will be in the "2 for £10" bin at HMV before the end of the Summer Holidays, so why see it?

Because you never really know until the end whats going to happen. Its not scary, jumpy or gross, however if you have daughters under the age of 10 it may be slightly upsetting to watch due to some of the scenes but its all part of the plot. There are flashbacks that occur randomly but believe me...it does all make sense at the end.

I went through 3 phases in this film, trying to work it out.
1st Third - I thought it was very Bugsy Malone meets Shawshank.
2nd Third - I was CONVINCED it was copying the Wicker Man (watch it to see why)
3rd Third - It had "Sixth Sense" written all over it - but NO - He's not dead!!!

It wont make you laugh, it wont make to scared - in fact it wont make you anything - you will watch it, get confused by it, work it out and then say - That was okay. And that's it - It was okay.

DiCaprio, as normal, still looked too young for the part he played, Ex WW2 vet turned FBI father of 3 - still looked 21 years old!!! He is becoming the Mr Michael J. Fox of the Noughties!!

Do you still want to see it? its worth one view - after that, like me you wont see the point in watching it again. Its a standard film with a massive twist - don't panic - I'm not giving it all away.

See this if................You're bored of predictable plots.

Saturday, 13 March 2010

23, Green Zone

There is no messing about with this one - The action starts about 15 seconds in and pretty much does let up throughout its entirety. It is non-stop from the get-go and as you know is set in Iraq, 4 weeks after the 1st shock and awe insertion by the coalition forces. The Scene, Saddam has fled and his generals are in safe houses scattered around the city. Damon is part of the WMD team (Weapons of Mass Destruction) and they are following Intel to find the hiding spots but each time coming up empty handed, Damon's frustrations at constantly being sent on wild goose chases become apparent and lead him to seek answers in the form of CIA agent Marty and a New York reporter.

That's It. What plays out is the fact that America should have never invaded and the whole war was started because of a fabricated statement.

So, That's about as "GMTV" as I am going to get. Plot explained so, onto the cast. I think that with every film Matt Damon just gets better and better. He is Ace in Bourne, Cool in Oceans & even back to the early days of Dogma he manages to hold up as a leading actor. Mad Eye Moody plays the CIA Agent Marty exceptionally well and there is an unexpected performance from Mr Malfoy, Jason Isaacs.

Geg Kinnear plays a blinder as Poundstone, The US Military Suit who is pushing for the return of a new regime and turns out is the key to the whole war.

Is it political - maybe, most definitely. A Film openly stating the war was unjust and should never of happened, based on one mans lies to crack an infrastructure and bring a new order. But WHAT A FILM!! The camera is with the soldiers from the start and is jerky for realism but you really get the feel of being part of the action. It's a good old, down to earth war film for the modern era. Current, Important, Beautifully acted and definitely one to watch.

I'd watch it again tomorrow, and again and again.

See this if.............No Excuses (only being under 15!)

Wednesday, 10 March 2010

22, Alice in Wonderland (3d)

It's been a while !!! Sorry there is no Wolfman or From Paris with Love - Time got the better of me.

So, it's back to PG kids flicks and another Burton masterpiece?? sort of...

As you all hopefully know, this is not a re-make. Its a sequel to the original. in 3d. By Tim Burton and his usual suspects and its a down to earth, non-scary kids film that they will love!!! I heard the animation was great but the plot was confusing.Uh NO!! Its a no brainer.

Plot Spoiler - Alice (13 years on) believes Wonderland is only a dream, she has no actual recollection of being there, so when she goes back (about 10 minutes into the movie so no hanging around) she believes she is dreaming, one thing leads to another, she discovers its real and has been summoned back as the White Queens Champion to Defeat the Red Queens Champion and win the crown back for the White Queen - kept up ?, Good. The Hatter (Depp) and March Hare (CGI) are the best characters by far but Matt Lucas as Both Dum & Dee Twins is very funny, Stephen Fry as the Cat is good but keep an eye out for Peggy Mitchel as a Mouse, not expecting that one!! Bonham-Carter as usual heads the female cast with Anne Hathaway playing the younger, more attractive sibling, The White Queen to Carter's Red One. Chess Pieces vs. Playing Cards make up the army and the "hero" is the sword, wielded by Alice. Simples!!!

There are NO Spiders (to my daughters delight) & NO Jumpy bits. It deserves it's PG rating and for a Burton Film, pretty normal.

The £d Animation is great, Avatar is better but on the whole, "Wonderland" is very well done, slightly run-down due to bad Queen management but that's to be expected. Bonham-Carters character is funny throughout and the effects for her head are good. Keep an eye out for "Back to The Future" George McFly and for the adults, spot the voice overs - I got them all but Timothy Spall.

No Bad remarks - Standard Kids film. fine for a Sunday.

See this if.................you wondered how the original "could" have ended.

Saturday, 20 February 2010

21, Valentines Day

RIGHT - now lets get this straight from the word go. Brits do Rom Com's BRILLIANTLY, no argument - We are the nuts at it. Mr Curtis and his likely brew of Brit Spawn do this genre better than anyone else. Love Actually - AWESOME!! (not Gay, LOVED IT!) so, below is a brief explanation of Valentines Day.

Group of people living their lives over a 24 hour period - different stories but all connected...Sound Familiar??? OF COURSE IT IS!!! We did it years ago!! and we were 10times better!!

Don't get me wrong - there are good bits - and one in particular but basically its and American "Love Actually"

The WHOLE plot surrounds Ashton Kutcher and Jennifer Garner his bezzie mate (BFF)- excuse the Yankee terminology, getting all colonial on this one. Between these two the rest of the cast are somehow loosely connected with their own stories and issues / dilemma's.

They have thrown as much Hollywood class at this as they can......too name a few, Kutcher, Garner, Hathaway, Alba, Biel, Roberts, McLain, The hotel manager from Pretty Woman, Foxx, Dempsey, Queen Latifa (Love Her), Taylor Swift, The Werewolf from Twilight and Cheryl Cole (Sorry, not Cheryl Cole but my daughter said I had to put it in!!)

And does it work......Uhhh - NO!. Its Slow, Predictable, Dull. It lacks the comedy element - Its America gone all romantic - staying politically Fuc*ing correct as not to offend as NORMAL and it just does not make for a good film.

However...........

There are a few shining moments. Kutcher & Garner getting together is a given but worth the wait. The part of Anne Hathaway as the cool secretary / Phone Sex girl is the funniest bit, Taylor Swift playing a dizzy blond American high School kid is hilarious and the "Ahhh!" factor comes when you realise what Julia Roberts connection to the plot involves - No spoiler here - its worth watching, Because it's so DAMN SWEET - Bloody Americans - got a lump in my throat!! Hee Hee.

My favourite bit......wait until after the 1st set of Credits - there are outtakes!! to be fair not on the same scale as those in a Jackie Chan film but..... Ashton Kutcher having Seat belt issues gets old after the 5th time but Julia Roberts in the Limo - PAY ATTENTION !! If you are a self respecting female over the age of 25 and DO NOT pick up the Pretty Woman line (not saying what it is on here - watch it) and say it out loud before Julia does you deserve to be Shot - My Wife got it straight away - Full Respect Renee!

For a film I did not really like I have wrote an awful lot but Heck (Americanisms again!) there were some good bits, any and movie that can pull together so many top names deserves a little more page space.

Love Actually it is not but nether the less, if you are married, engaged, dating or merely shagging then when this hits DVD get it out (the DVD that is!!) and have a giggle - if not for Taylor Swift being a total barbie then for Jessica Biel - Still hot (sorry Ren xx)

See this if.............all you need is Love !! (Da Da Dah!)

20, Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief

Fantasy Adventure with the Gods. Sounds Awesome. I, like many other males in my "early" 30's alas do not read books. Not can't read, but don't read! so again its a movie from a book that I have no understanding of!!! But is that a good thing? - no preconceptions, no illusions of grandeur, just open mindedness. and with that was I impressed.....Yes.

Okay, it was cool. The main 3 are not too famous, yet. (that I know of.) But that wasn't a bad thing. They were cool, funny and came across well. The Hollywood "A" listers were there, all cameo roles, Bean, Thurman, Brosnan - all well cast and brilliantly acted - (spot Tommy from Train Spotting as Poseidon!! Cracking!)

So the plot - Demigod's, every one of them. Living and training in Camp Half Blood. Unknown by their parents (Gods) who visited earth for a quick bunk up with Humans, leaving a single parent children growing up with the ability to kick ass! One of them steals Zeus's Lightning Bolt, Jackson is blamed - he is innocent and sets out to clear his name - The best bit by far was Steve Coogan as Hades with a hot wife and Hell as his front garden - loved that bit!! and he was funny.

Uma Thurman's part is short lived but extremely well done as Medusa, Awesome Hair! and Pierce Brosnan as a Horsey Guy leading the training camp was also brill.

This is a no-brainer fantasy adventure. For the CSI New York Fans keep a look out for Athena (I think) and another cameo.

I enjoyed this - special effects were good - It was a PG so Leah came (6) and she loved it - a little scary with the snakes etc but it was Holly (11) who actually leapt from her seat about 15 minutes in (The Museum bit with the female teacher) but too be honest thats the only real jumpy bit.

Take the kids and the Grandparents - even if it is preparation to watch the re-make of Clash of The titans out later this year !! COME ON!!

See this if......You want to learn a little Greek Mythology with bond!!